LF Friends, Will Travel

Jessica focused on planting the crops, enjoying the solitude and simple repetitive motions. Farming like this was rarely done anymore, with the advent of synthesisers growing full crops was a rarity, generally left to those who wanted to sell to the 'real food' market: A weird minority who stated they could tell the difference between something that was molecularly identical.

No, the days of orchards and scores of labourers as hard and weathered as the earth itself was long gone. Most farms were run by one person or AI, who would use scores of automated drones to maintain vast plots of a single easy to grow crop. This could then be ground up and deposited as an organic sludge into any synthesiser, to provide 99% of Terrans food needs.

But this entire operation had been a quickly put together humanitarian mission to a species who hadn't developed the same biological replication technology. The automated machines and logistics would come later, but for now this was having to be done by hand.

Jessica took a moment to look around her, a strange alien sunset creating a striking pink sky, highlighting the alien architecture of entrances to burrows and the various tiny underground tunnels the natives used to travel around with. The Quoxxett are a species of brown bipedal furred rodents that reach up to 2ft tall. They also were a monotropic species, requiring the special nutrition of the Jwangu nut to survive. A food source that had quickly been infected by a fungal plague.

The Terran Conclave had stood aside at first, not wanting to start another confrontation. They were the only species to create an AI that didn’t go Xenocidal, and this had caused the rest of the galaxy to fear them. The Terran's first attempted contact with another species had turned into a war with the Hatil, and the second had been an accidental invasion of a Ritilian’s colony.

But it quickly became apparent to the Terrans that the large universe filled with life wasn't going to do anything to help. The Federation that all species were part of was useless; the act of having too many voices caused the grandly named organisation to be nothing more than a glorified translator service and neutral place to hold meetings.

There were also suggestions that the infection was a purpose made attack; the vicious Estorian Empire were constantly looking to expand their territory, and the suspicious speed of all Quoxxett systems being infected with the fungal growths at the same time raised some eyebrows.

So once it became apparent that nobody else was coming to help them, Terrans had set to work. Quickly they found a replacement for their food source, then loaded up every ship they could spare with every Brazil nut they could synthesise or grab.

Which is why Jessica was here, planting food so the adorable little hamster-beavers would have a sustainable crop to later feed themselves with. Well… the actual reason Jessica had been demoted to simple labour was far more embarrassing.

Upon seeing the objectively adorable Quoxxett, Jessica had tried to contact her friend on another vessel, to exclaim her excitement over the potential meeting with a living plushy. Tried being the operative word, as instead she'd accidentally broadcasted her message of adoration to literally anyone who could listen. Including every single Terran on this humanitarian mission. And the Quoxxett leadership.

It wasn't my fault it was so easy to fat finger the emergency broadcast button..

Thanks to this Jessica was now known as the “I want to hug one lady”, especially since someone had leaked the embarrassing audio. There was even an autotuned remix of her outburst with half a billion views…

“What you doing?”

The little voice sounded out to Jessica's left, causing her to stop what she was doing and look up. One of the Quoxxett stood in front of Jessica, the flat beaver-like tail and different swirling patterns of light and brown coloured fur creating something that looked more like a fluff filled toy than a real life alien.

This one was tiny, a small pup barely reaching up past the Terran’s ankle. Jessica couldn’t help but smile in response, bending down to be closer in height to the little cub.

“I’m planting food for you to eat. Are your parents around?”

The little Quoxxett seemed to vaguely point in the direction of a grouping of burrow entrances, before turning back to Jessica.

“You look weird and big. I once saw a tree that was also big.”

The Terran felt her heart melt, unable to stop herself from gently ruffling the little creature's head, causing its tail to thump on the ground happily.

“Well I’m an alien, a ‘Terran’. My name is Jessica”.

The little thing seemed to ponder that for a moment, before attempting to repeat the untranslatable name.

“Jess-oo-Ka. I’m Borim. I’m 6.” Borim seemed to think for a moment before taking a few more steps forwards and adding helpfully “My favourite colour is blue like flowers.”

It was at this moment that Jessica realised just how dangerous her current workspace was for the little Quoxxett. Lots of holes to fall into and many heavy tools far larger than the little cub lay haphazardly around.

As much as I’d love to play with the little adorable alien all day, I’ve both got work to do, and don’t want him to get hurt.

“I’ve got some work to do, but if I give you a gift will you go back to your parents?”

Borim looked up excitedly at the mention of a gift.

“Gift?”

Jessica reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a lollipop from a large bag she kept on her person at all times, in order to satiate her general sweet tooth.

Sugar should be fine for them right?

“This is called Candy. You eat it.”

The curiously the little Quoxxett took the treat, sniffing it and looking uncertain about the strange food.

“Kun-Dee?”

Then with more abandon placed the entire thing in its mouth, eyes widening instantly as the glory of sugar hit the child with its full force of joy.

“Kun-Dee!”

Jessica watched little Borim wander back off to the Burrow entrances, repeating the word over and over, the Terran giving a small chuckling smile before returning back to work.

Another problem solved, you are a genius.

—------------

“Kun-Dee alien!”

The voice caused Jessica to look up, seeing that Borim had returned, this time bringing 2 others with him. He was pointing a little furred paw at the Terran, excitedly telling the other two cubs who looked a lot less certain.

“Jess-oo-Ka. Kun-Dee alien!”

“Looks weird. Big, like a rocket.”

“No, like a tree!”

The three nattered among each other, the minor argument causing a slight scuffle between the group as they argued amongst themselves.

Oh no

Jessica could feel the sudden burst of panic as suddenly there were three adorable fragile alien children to deal with. The concept of the pure sugar filled treat that had been given to Borim had left such an impression that he’d gone to get his friends. Babysitting a herd of rambunctious aliens was not what the Terran considered herself adept at.

Where are their parents, can I– ow!

Her train of thought was distracted by a multitude of little scratchy claws digging into her clothes making Jessica aware that there were in fact now four Quoxxett children in her presence, not three. One of the newcomers had taken it upon themselves to climb this new “big” alien.

Gingerly she grabbed a hold of its little body, it giving a tiny squeal of enjoyment as it was placed back on the floor. Immediately the little Quoxxett cub launched itself back at the Terran with fearless abandon, presumably enjoying this new “game” while the other three continued to slightly scuffle with each other.

Which was bad, really bad. Things would get out of hand if these four didn’t leave soon.

“Wait wait wait! If you promise to go back to your parents and don’t tell anyone else, I’ll give you all some more candy.”

At the mention of the bribe, the four immediately settled down, each stopping their scuffling and lining up obediently, the little Quoxxett now nodding vigorously.

“Kun-Dee!”

Jessica reached into her jacket once again, retrieving the promised goods and handing them out to the delight of each little cub, each one squealing with joy as they scampered off with their new treats, leaving the Terran alone once again.

While attempting to bribe alien children with sugar probably wasn’t going to get me featured as babysitter of the year, what’s the worst that could happen?

—---------------

There were now twenty of them, and Jessica had long ran out of candy.

Groups of them tussled with each other, running back and forth with childish glee. Others had taken to climbing the Terran like a tree, flinging themselves off several feet into the air, forcing Jessica to catch them as they giggled.

One of them simply sat on the ground, nattering on about something called a “Herten” and how it was her favourite. Jessica wasn’t sure if this “Herten'' was a cartoon character, a type of bird, or a kind of flower, simply because the little Quoxxett gave no real context as to what she was talking about during the near constant confusing rambling.

It was also objectively adorable. If this was a video she was watching online, if it was happening to anyone else, then watching it would have been fun. Instead Jessica found herself being run ragged, making sure the precious little bundles of fluff didn’t hurt themselves. At one point an adult Quoxxett had briefly appeared, the eyes and demeanour of a tired parent vaguely keeping an eye on the pack of headstrong cubs. They had ignored all of Jessica’s attempts to flag them down, just giving a little wave before heading back out of view.

Two of them started climbing a shovel that had been lent against a bag of fertiliser, the heavy metal object starting to wobble as the cubs made their way up. Panic entered the Terran's brain as she leapt forwards in one moment to stop the tool, catching it in one hand before it could hurt any of the aliens that ran around her.

“Oh fuck!”

The words had slipped out of Jessica’s mouth in her desperation to stop the chunk of metal from falling over.

Everyone stopped, looking up at the Terran in silence for the first time in thirty minutes. Jessica suddenly realised then that she shouldn’t have said that. Jessica suddenly noticed the evil curious look in one of the cub’s eyes,filling her with fear as she realised exactly what the child was about to do.

“No no no no. You didn’t hear that. Don’t do what you’re about to do, I’ll give you all the candy in the world if you just don’t say-”

“Fuck”.

Of course, THAT word they can pronounce correctly.

“Fuck”.

“Fuck”

“Fuck fuck fuck”.

Each member of the pack of cubs stated the new word with glee, leaving Jessica to watch in horror as the word spread like wildfire. The swearing got louder and more frequent as each Quoxxett cub seemingly took great pleasure in the new curse word.

This was not what Jessica wanted, or how she had imagined first contact with the hamster-beavers to go. She had been on this planet for less than three hours, and already had somehow managed to not only create a pack of hyperactive sugar filled cubs, but had also taught them all a new swear word. There was nothing in the regulations on how to fix such a thing, leaving her to just stare in horror at the new reality of her situation. What would even be the reaction of the Quoxxett adults?

Commander Walker is going to kill me…