Laundry Divers: An Erotic Lesbian LitRPG

Ch. 17: The Mulligan Principle



The team finished up exploring the bathroom and moved on. After some discussion, it was decided that their next move would be to hunt some imps and then head home. Sabrina spotted a pair of them lurking on a ledge a ways ahead of them. She got the go-ahead to take them on alone, suckled on Jade for a buff to her reflexes, then teleported.

She skewered one of the imps on her spear directly where her teleport landed her. Behind that imp, at least two-dozen more imps were lying in ambush. They all sprung forth in a flock, startling Sabrina backwards off of the ledge. The long fall back onto her ass did little damage, but it was disorienting enough for the imps to get the drop on her.

They swarmed her. Some clawed at her, others shot fire, and one even repeatedly stabbed her with a pitchfork. She was durable, but the nonstop onslaught of little ticks against her HP would add up quickly if they didn’t stop. Thus, twirling her spear like a helicopter to clear the bulk of them off of her, she stood and went on the offensive.

She impaled two at once like a shish-kebab. She teleported to the other side of the pack and stabbed one from behind. From there, she saw her party barreling towards the imps with murder in their eyes.

They two groups clashed. Sloan flattened some like pancakes. Jade fried them with her charged-up sword. Alice nimbly bobbed and weaved as she poked them full of holes.

One imp fluttered higher than the others, reigning down stronger fireballs onto the party. The fire hurt like a bitch, and Sloan’s non-magical jeans got burned right off. Right between the ribs, the solar plexus looked to be that imp’s weak point.

Sabrina poofed up to it, intentionally landing just a bit too low. Then she blitzed the rest of the way, striking upwards between the ribs. After getting the kill, she dove back down, landing spear-first on another.

The imps were ferocious, and the party got their fair share of surface wounds, but it was no contest. The girls wiped the floor with the imps, picking the last one off less than two minutes after the scrap started.

They caught their collective breath, let off some relieved chuckles, and took inventory. There was a lot of imp essences, a pantry-worth of ingredients, and fifty three jellies. It was a good thing jellies were filtered into their own table on the inventory, because their inventories were so stuffed that a lot of things would need to get lugged home by hand.

When Sabrina popped her first jelly, she was a bit dejected. Her Cognition gauge only filled half as much as it should have, while the other half went into a separate gauge for her class. She wanted to warn Alice and Sloan, but filling in their missing Aspects was the first thing they both did. Oh well.

The first aspect Sabrina managed to level up with this new handicap was Lust, since it was already close to leveling up. She got an insight into the point system. Leveling up Lust gave her eighty points, which seemed connected to it hitting level eight.

She could pour as many points as she wanted into raising her HP, but from a small selection of new perks and skills, or even level up existing perks and skills. She started to miss the old system of points being spent on her behalf. The gambling was fun, and she didn’t need to deal with choice analysis paralysis.

At the bottom of the perk list, there was a “mystery” option. It claimed the mystery perks were stronger, but drastic enough that she would either love it or hate it. She opted pay homage to a classic and make Jade happy all at once. She upgraded Double-Cheeked, and put the rest into HP.

Double-Cheeked upgraded! The size of your butt is increased. The shape, lift, and bounciness of your butt are enhanced for an even more aesthetically pleasing effect. Erogenous pleasure from all areas of your butt is greatly increased. Damage that would be inflicted on your butt is reflected on attacker. Compatible enemies who see your butt are distracted and have a chance of becoming dazed.

She was also able to level-up Cognition and Mysticism. For Cognition, she took a perk that made all learning faster and easier. For Mysticism, she took a spell that would set off a concussive explosion centered on her, that she was immune to. That seemed like an effective way to deal with getting surrounded.

With that taken care of, she could check in with her party. She first thing she noticed was Alice. Wearing only her shibari rope, there was no hiding the fact that she had two dicks, but standing at attention, one over the other. Her balls seemed huge, too, and both dicks seemed at least and inch longer and girthier than the original.

Alice caught Sabrina gawking, and proudly asked, “not bad, right?” She swung her dicks around to show them off. “I make magic cum, too. The real news is my class. I definitely win. Not that it’s a competition, but I win. I’m a Chaos Bonder. Pretty much a spider-witch. Check it out.”

Alice put her hands together, and when she brought them back apart, pale blue threads of light had materialized, strung between them. She swiftly flung one hand towards a nearby wall, tossing a freely growing bundle of the thread. Several corners embedded themselves into it, making unseen anchor points. Then, she did the same to the opposite wall. With this loose frame set, she manifested another bundle of light-string and wove it into the frame, knitting together a hammock in seconds. Finally, she snuggly hopped to lie in her new hammock.

“Holy shit,” Jade gasped.

“Is it too late to change my class?” Sabrina asked in awe.

“Mine’s better,” Sloan declared bluntly. She then walked up to a nearby tile-clad concrete pillar, lined up a batter’s stance, and swung. Her club ripped through the pillar like it was styrofoam, reducing it to a cloud of dust and debris.

The girls were stunned. Alice asked “what’s your class? Juggernaut?”

“Unyielding Bruiser,” Sloan answered proudly.

After a few congratulations and boasts, the girls headed back for the exit. On the walk, Jade remembered something she wanted to brag about. “You know Bean, I got something better than anyone. I got a new perk that’s better than anything else so far. It’s called Titan Slayer.”

Sabrina perked up in interest. “Sounds promising, what is it?”

“It makes it so that any pain caused from my holes getting wrecked by large insertions comes with twice as much pleasure. It also quickly heals any damage so I won’t prolapse or whatnot. Plus, I got to level two in Sensation, so my tolerance for pain is off the charts. If I ever give birth, I’m gonna make a lot of doctors very uncomfortable.”

Sabrina should’ve expected something like that. Still, she frowned sourly from the psychology wound.

“Don’t you see? Now you can absolutely pound my right little asshole with your huge cock. Fuck, just thinking about it is making me…” she shook in place, tossing her head up and closing her eyes. “Oof. God, you’re wasting your Stretchy perk. How have you not put that thing in your ass, yet?”

Flatly, Sabrina answered, “because my vagina is better. Any time I’m getting fucked in the ass is time better spent getting my pussy fucked.”

Jade shook her head in disappointment. “I’m disappointed. If you find one ride you like in an amusement park does that mean you should only ever go on that one? Plus, that’s not even true. What about double penetration? Are you gonna look me in the eyes and say you’re not curious about Alice’s twin dicks?”

Sabrina shrugged. “Of course I’m curious. Two girl cocks in my pussy is better than one.”

Briefly taken aback, then smirking, Jade added, “leaving your ass for me to fuck with the big one.”

Sabrina tried to keep a straight face. The hint of a smile betrayed her, though. That told Jade everything she needed to know.

The party left the dungeon, quitting while they were ahead. The degree to which they’d grown in power in one night was absurd. As much as that power was a nagging lure to stay for more, it was also a great excuse for a well-earned break.

Sabrina had her own reason that she was dying to go home. Wrapped in her softest blanket, she’d left her cock in the apartment. Several times during the delve, her arousal had spiked. That meant at several points she’d gotten a phantom hard-on that she could do nothing about, and it had long-past being painful.

Jade was first to exit, not concerned with who saw her naked.  Sloan had her tits covered and nothing else, and Alice simply had rope drawing further attention to her nudity. Finding the coast was clear, Jade signaled the others to come out.

They got upstairs and found it different. There was new furniture, as crafting stations had been summoned for all of the newly acquired subclasses. There was some debate over whether Sloan and Alice should bring their’s home, but it was decided that they’d probably just be spending a lot more time here.

When the subject of the apartment gave Jade an idea, she snuck over to the Base Totem and spent all of the new points on her own. The ground shifted, and all but Jade scrambled, thinking it was an earthquake. When the shifting settled, Sabrina looked around, puzzled, and looked to Jade at the totem.

“Did… the room just get bigger? …and cleaner?”

“Yup,” Jade confirmed, smiling. “The beds also became king sized, our room has an en suite bathroom, both bathrooms got bidets, and we got a third bedroom.”

“Our bedroom? Also, why a third room?”

“It’s the party’s base. It’s only reasonable that the whole party should live here.”

Alice looked surprised. Her face repeatedly shifted as she mentally debated whether she liked the idea. Sloan simply shrugged and said, “fair.”

Sabrina forgot to be polite, arguing, “have you seen either of their apartments? No matter how much space you shift, you’re not gonna make enough room for Alice’s collectibles. Sloan’s place is like a refugee camp. She always has a minimum of five people staying over, whether it’s teammates, couch surfers, or fuck buddies?”

“I can give up everything but the fuck buddies,” Sloan stated. “I got way back with some of them. It’s not like rent is an issue anymore, so me not staying there just frees an extra spot on my mattress.”

“Hey, that’s true,” Alice said, smiling as she realized it. “I’ll use my apartment as storage for whatever doesn’t fit in my room here!”

Jade looked at Sabrina, busting with excitement. “See, it’s all worked out. Plus, we have so much more room for activities! So? Can I keep em? Huh? Can I?”

Sabrina rubbed her face with both hands. “Yes,” she grunted.

Alice and Jade danced around her celebrating. Sabrina begrudgingly cracked a smile. They were a party, now, and that made them family. Awkwardly, Sabrina’s next point of order was having sex with a member of that family.

Sabrina kissed her giddy girlfriend, and took her into what was now their shared room. The new bed and doorway to a way-too-fancy bathroom were an odd sight, but she was too horny to care. She pushed Jade to bent over into Basset Hound position on the bed and shoved her face between her butt cheeks.

Sabrina took the plug from Jade’s asshole eagerly licked it while Jade gently pushed the living dildo in and out of her own pussy. This was to get it nice and lubed up more than anything else. Once it was properly slicked, Jade dropped it on the bed.

“That feels so fucking good, but I’m dying to feel you inside me. Please ravage my ass already, Beany.”

Sabrina was waiting to hear that. She roughly peeled off her bodysuit and stuck the living dildo onto her crotch. When she lined it up with Jade’s ass, she felt lightheaded at seeing the too-big cock behind the petite woman’s ass. She had to remind herself of the porn she’d seen of girls stuffing much larger dragon dildo’s into their holes. That meant it was at least possible, even for baseline humans.

Horniness overcame caution, and she began steadily pressing into Jade’s asshole. It felt less like a hole and more like a wall to the blunt head. Jade moaned softly, and instructed, “you’ve just gotta do it. I can take…” the breath was taken out of her as Sabrina slipped the head in, opening Jade’s ass as if to swallow up a fist.

“Is that okay?” Sabrina checked, pausing. Jade’s eyes were forced shut in mixed pleasure and pain, but she rapidly nodded for Sabrina to keep going. When another inch slid in, Jade began biting down on the blanket. Before continuing, Sabrina reminded, “just let me know if you need me to stop.”

Frustrated, Jade briefly looked back to hiss, “Bean! Just fucking pound me as hard as you can!”

Sabrina tried to make Jade regret that challenge. She firmly gripped Jade’s hips, and slammed the rest in. Once she was completely mounted, Sabrina moved her hands the rest on the small of Jade’s inward-curving back. From there, she just hammered away.

Fucking Jade’s ass felt amazing. Her pussy was definitely better, but there was something uniquely nice about working the right ring up and down her shaft. Enhancing the experience was the sexy way Jade took it. She cycled between bouts of screams and moans and stretches where she was unable to produce sound. At every juncture, she begged Sabrina to keep going, to fuck harder.

In no time at at, Jade began squirting from her pussy like a hose, with no stimulation other than from her ass. That squirt died down after around five seconds, but a steady march of them followed, never spaced out by more than a minute. Sabrina hoped the new bed came with a mattress protector.

A few minutes in, Sabrina came, too. Her pendulous balls clenched up and a hot surge of cum flooded from her magic girlcock. She didn’t slow down, letting the whole orgasm ride out until it died down. She just continued on fucking without ever breaking stride. Five minutes later she repeated this climax-enduring feat of sensation tolerance.

After fifteen minutes of relentless ass-blasting, Sabrina pulled out as she finished giving her third creampie. Jade had other ideas, apparently. She pushed Sabrina onto her back and mounted the monster between her legs. Much more softly and passionately, she rode Sabrina’s dick with her cum-stuffed ass.

This was nice. They kissed, and softly caressed each other’s skin. Sabrina began sucking milk from Jade’s tit. Jade sucked on Sabrina’s for the fun of it. They continued like that for ages, just making love.

At one point, Sabrina’s dick slipped out, and when Jade reinserted it, Sabrina was shocked to find herself in Jade’s pussy. Her first instinct was that this was wrong, and risked infection. Then she remembered how magic Jade’s body was. Her vagina was infection resistant, and the butt plug she wore made her ass sterile. They could have risky fun without the risk.

Over the course of an hour, riding became soaking, and soaking became cuddling. Blissfully, she fell asleep chest to chest, with Jade lying on top of Sabrina and cum leaking out everywhere. This was everything they needed. They had love, and friends, and all the magic they could ask for. Nothing could stop them now.

Douglas Blackwall flitted along the rooftops. The sun would soon rise, putting and end to the night’s hunt. He hated how quickly time moved on the surface. He knew he really should’ve stopped coming up here long ago, but he was too sentimental. Nothing died quite like a human did.

Knowing his fun was over, he oriented himself atop the roof of a megachurch. The closest entrance to what he dubbed Elysium was at a dingy apartment building he owned, just a few blocks up. With just a few smoke-dashes between rooftops, he glided his way down to the building’s laundry room.

He sneered as he got to the doorway. The tape was peeled. It reeked of weakly magic-tinged human. He licked the air, tasting the nuances of the scent. There were four of them, all females. They were mildly ascended, just barely having acquired classes.

“Delightful,” he thought. “Four fresh little piggies, seasoning themselves up for me.” He would need to lie in wait, not too far from the first floor, so that the stacking time dilation would not spoil his patience. So long as he didn’t grow tired of waiting, he would let them ripen themselves with the first floors meager offerings and take them when they ventured down to the second.

In nature, the sun is the source of all energy. The plants put all of their effort into soaking that energy up, just to be gobbled up by the sheep. The sheep is smarter than the plant, because it simply takes all the energy a great many plants had absorbed. The sheep is not nearly as clever as the wolf, though. Why graze all day, when you could let a plump little sheep do all that work, and then simply slurp that scrumptious energy right off its bones? It was the way of the world. Who could blame him just for being the most clever creature of all?

Sleep sound, little sheepies. You will need your strength for grazing.”



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