I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

Chapter 93



Without avoiding Fernan's gaze, Cedric silently bowed his head in greeting.

 In the meantime, Kalosa, who was sitting on his seat, immediately asked.

 “Yeah, it’s boring to ask every time, but how are you these days?”

 As usual, he asked if there was any confusion in her memory or if she had any bizarre dreams.  Julia tried to shake her head at his familiar question, but then stopped.

 "Come to think of it…  I think she started dreaming some time ago.”

 At those words, the eyes of the three men fell on her at the same time.

 Julia, who was deep in her thoughts with her eyes gently lowered, muttered afterward.

 “I can't remember exactly, but I think in my most recent dream I could see a glimmer of a cliff below, river or lake…  That kind of background.”

 As if silently listening, Kalosa glanced at Fernan as if asking if he knew what Julia was talking about.

 But Fernan, not noticing Kalosa’s gaze, slowly grabbed his hand that was placed on his table.

Kalosa, who was staring at him, looked at Julia again.

 “Is that all?”

 "Yes. That’s all for now.”

Kalosa, who had his arms crossed, nodded still.

 The reason he kept asking Julia about her dreams was because it was through her dreams that her memories began to revive.

 She succeeded in recalling something, albeit vaguely, so she may be able to regain her memory little by little in the future.

 “Is there something wrong with it?”

 When Julia asked quietly, curiously, Kalosa shrugged his shoulders.

 “It’s not perfect, but You’re making a little bit of progress. I told you before you had a small abnormality not only in your heart, but also in your brain.”

 Because it was a deception for the patient to do a check-up without giving any information, Kalosa was about to outline his reasons for continuing her examination.

 “Some brain organs that had stopped functioning slightly are slowly returning to normal.  So, in the future, keep your mind and body at ease. That way, your recovery will be faster.”

After finishing speaking, Kalosa stood up.

 Thinking that the check-up time was shorter than usual today, Julia also stood up.  At that moment, Cedric, who had just stood there silently, suddenly opened his mouth.

 “I’m glad you’re getting better.”

 Cedric's gaze was on Julia, but the words he muttered were towards Fernan next to her.

 Fernan did not respond to those words and looked down quietly.

 Julia, who did not realize that his face was somehow dark, nodded her head.

 “It’s all thanks to the priests.”

 “I was just by your side. I hope that the Grand Duchess will familiarize herself with my face.”

 At the words that came out somewhere meaningfully, Julia tilted her head slightly.

In the meantime, Kalosa, who opened the door, stepped out from the bedroom, followed by Cedric politely lowering his head.

 “Well then, see you next time.”

 Cedric looked at her for a moment  without leaving immediately. 

Then, when Julia looked at him with a puzzled face, he quietly walked out of the bedroom.

Click. Julia only turned her body after seeing the door shut.

 At the same time, Fernan, who got up suddenly, grabbed her shoulders. His gaze looking down at her was slightly shaky.

 "Your Highness?"

 Then, realizing that his momentum was strange, Julia opened her eyes wide.

 “What’s wrong?”

When Julia asked anxiously, Fernan hesitated and then answered.

 “No, nothing.”

 Fernan slowly lowered his hand that was holding her shoulder.  He then spoke gently.

 “Then shall we go out now?”

 “… ”

 Julia felt that his expression was strange, but she nodded her head meekly for once.

 As they walked around the castle together, as always, Fernan behaved the same as usual.  The look was so natural, Julia quickly forgot that he looked a bit strange.

 ***

 Around dawn, Julia dreamed again.

She was dreaming sitting somewhere and watching the snow fall.

 Rattle.

She could feel her body shaking.  It looked like she was in a carriage.  The carriage, which had been going for a long time, came to a sudden stop with a roar from somewhere.

  bang!  The sound of something rushing could be heard vividly in her ears.  And even the blood splattered in front of her..…

 "Ugh!"

 With the last of the bright red bloodstains, Julia woke up abruptly.

 Julia crouched down on her body and exhaled heavily.  Cold sweat was glistening on her white forehead.

 "ha….”

 Julia slowly raised her hand and pressed her pounding chest, noticing that her hand was also trembling slightly.

 After breathing for a long time, Julia finally raised her head.

 ‘What kind of dream is this…’

 Her dream cycle has been getting shorter these days.

 However, the dream that had always only seen vague scenes was so vivid today.

 A snowy landscape. Shaking of her body. Loud roars were heard from somewhere. Bright red blood was seen everywhere.  A vivid dream scene continued to shake her heart.

 At that moment, a breeze blew through the slightly open window.  The candle's light flickered out.

 Looking around the darkened room in an instant, Julia grabbed the blanket.  Somehow she was afraid.

It was still late in the morning.  But in this frightened state, it seemed that she could no longer sleep.

 Eventually, Julia got out of bed and put her feet on the floor.  As she relied on the feeble moonlight, she stuttered as she walked across the bedroom.

 As she opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, the candles on the wall lit up brightly.

 "Ha…”

 At that moment, Julia was slightly relieved and swept her chest.

 Was the terrifying dream she had a while ago proof that she was recovering her memories as Kalosa said?

 With a small sigh, Julia suddenly looked down at her hands.

 ‘… Why?’

 Her heart had calmed down, but only the trembling did not go away.

 Julia stared at her trembling hands for a long time, then clenched her hands several times.

 The hallway was empty and quiet.  It was early in the morning, so there were no servants walking around.

 After hesitating, Julia slowly walked down the hallway.  Thanks to the candles illuminating the hallway, visibility was not so dark.

 Her steps were heading towards the hallway on the right where Fernan’s bedroom was.

 It was late so Fernan was probably sleeping too, but her footsteps stopped in front of his bedroom.

 "Ummm…"

 Julia, who was standing in one place, approached the door.

 ‘If I tell him that I came to find him because I had a scary dream, would he consider me annoying?’

 Julia, who hesitated at her belated thoughts, eventually turned around.  Also, she thought it was not polite to look for him at such a late hour.

 As she went back the way she came, Julia was suddenly a little surprised at herself.

 Just because she was afraid, she went looking for Fernan blindly.

 Thinking that she must have depended on him a lot without realizing it, Julia slowly walked through the hallway.

 At that moment, footsteps were heard from afar.

 While Julia, who was immersed in her thoughts, someone gently grabbed her wrist.

 “…  Ah!"

 Julia, who was startled and screamed, turned her head quickly.

 Seeing Fernan behind her, her frightened face gradually spread with relief.

 “Your Highness…..”

 “Why are you out here at this hour?”

 Because she had been hanging around in the hallway for a while, Fernan had felt the presence and came out.

 However, he did not know that the owner of the presence was Julia, so he had a slightly puzzled face.

 When she saw his face, Julia let out a small sigh as her tension was relieved.  As she was, holding her hands tightly together, she replied softly.

 "That is…”

 ‘I had a dream, and I went to see you because I was afraid of the dream’.  Somehow she felt embarrassed to say that.

 Fernan glanced at her murmured lips, then pulled her closer.

 Then he asked again, stroking her slightly disheveled hair.

 “Did you have a bad dream?”

 Julia's eyes widened in response to the question of exactly what happened. Julia finally nodded.

Fernan came a little closer to her.  Then, his face, which had been obscured by darkness, was revealed a little more clearly under the candlelight.

Julia murmured softly, capturing his face in her eyes.

 “Actually, the dream was a little scary…  ”

 At those words, Fernan had a serious expression on his face for an instant, and immediately asked.

 “What kind of dream was it?”

 After a moment's silence, Julia slowly opened her mouth.

 “It was a dream that I was riding a carriage on a snowy day.  Then there were loud roars, and at the end bright red blood was splattered… It was a very vivid dream… .”

 "Blood?"

 Fernan, who was examining her with slightly narrowed brows, lowered his gaze.

 After contemplating somethin, he held out his hand.

 “If you’re afraid to be alone, I’ll be by your side until you fall asleep.”

 “… ”

 “Let’s go to my room.”

 Julia glanced at his large outstretched hand.

 At this moment, Julia felt as if she had become a pampered child, but still, Julia gently grabbed Fernan’s hand.

 He soon took Julia back to his bedroom.

 Guided by him and carefully stepping her feet into the room, Julia took a brief glance inside.

 In the quiet room, only the sound of footsteps from the two of them resounded.

 Julia was led by his hand and sat on the bed.  When she glanced at the bed, the bedding was neatly arranged without a trace of lying down.

 “Why didn’t you sleep?”

 Fernan, as well as the tidy bedding, looked as organized as usual.

 “I’m always awake at this hour.”

 Fernan answered in a low voice.  At those words, Julia widened her eyes.

 As she knew, he always woke up early in the morning.  Then it meant that he only slept three or four hours a night at most.

 Suddenly, Julia, worried about his sleeping habits, got on the bed and tapped the seat next to her.

 "Your Highness."

 She then hesitated and spoke slowly.

 "Then let's sleep together."


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