I Have a Crush I Want to Talk to You

: Chapter 21 With Sadness, Always Parting

Back in N City, after only one day of rest, the cruel cram school began. Although the education department strictly prohibits schools from holding cram schools during the summer vacation, they are all aimed at children in the lower grades, and the children in the third year of high school are all pigs and sheep to be slaughtered.

I thought that I would still be the same as the instant noodles. After the fight, the two of them would forget the previous unhappiness, but the truth is not what I thought. After the fight that night, I have not spoken to the instant noodles again. , he didn’t take the initiative to say a word to me.

In the past, I used to have a video chat with him every night and study together, but since he came back, his avatar has never been shown again. I don’t know if he is no longer online, or he is invisible to me. I have my pride and self-respect, and there is a thick wall between me and him, and no one can see the other.

From the best student in the teacher’s mind, he suddenly turned into a bad student who was free and unorganized. The school’s make-up classes come as soon as they want, and they don’t come if they don’t want to. After finally coming to class one day, he lost a lot of weight. As soon as he saw him, he scolded him vehemently: “Don’t think that you are ranked first, you won’t come to class if you don’t want to come, and you won’t do homework if you don’t want to do homework. How bad is the impact? If you continue like this, you will either come to class on time or not!”

The next day he came to class on time. Teacher Gao thought that the criticism and lessons had an effect. However, on the third day, he became the same as before. in early August

After seeing him a few times, in mid-August, his figure disappeared directly.

In a short summer vacation, everyone felt that something happened to him, but no one knew what happened to him. And the turning point of everything was the day he left the island.

Xiaobai and Jiayao asked me several times, but in my heart I wanted to know what happened to him more than anyone else, but my pride and self-esteem made me not know how to start this.

In the cram school that day, two people started talking in front of me again.

Jia Yao said, “Jingjing, do you really care about your master?”

Xiaobai said, “The two are naive, so what’s the matter with the quarrel? Look at Xu Jingjing, it’s not like they’re on good terms with Gao Zhan and talk normally.”

Jiayao said, “Hey, when you say that, I suddenly think of something. She seems to be the same as usual. Why doesn’t she wonder why the master didn’t come to class?”

Xiaobai patted the table, “Yes! She must know something?”

Xu Jingjing is like a normal person, but she doesn’t talk to me and Wei Xue, and she never discusses instant noodles.

After the cram school was over, I didn’t think much about it, I took the bus with my schoolbag on my back and went directly to the instant noodle house. When I got to his house, I stood outside the door and knocked on the door for a long time, but no one answered, and when I called his mobile phone, no one answered.

Just as I was about to leave in despair, Auntie Wang, who was always looking for Uncle Kang to repair water and electricity, suddenly came over, “Are you Jiawei’s classmate?”

I nodded quickly and said, “That’s right! It’s Aunt Wang. My name is Xu Jingjing. That Jiawei… doesn’t seem to be at home.”

“Don’t you know? His father has cancer. Jiawei has been taking care of Lao Kang in the hospital every day recently.”

“What?!” I couldn’t believe it

Everything I heard made my whole body feel numb, and my legs and feet started to feel a little weak. “A… Auntie, please can you explain it more clearly? What happened to Uncle Kang? How can he get cancer?”

“It’s gastric cancer. It seems that at the beginning of last month, Lao Kang suddenly fell to the ground and was sent to the hospital. The doctor said he had advanced gastric cancer.”

Early last month, wasn’t it when we went to the island to play together?

“Stomach… advanced gastric cancer?!” The terrible medical term made my whole body start to tremble.

“That’s right. Lao Kang has long known that he has cancer. It is estimated that he was afraid of affecting his son’s studies. He has been concealing his son’s incident and secretly seeing a doctor. The pain was so unbearable that we fainted on the ground. I know. When the neighbors saw it, they rushed him to the hospital.” Aunt Wang said with a regretful expression, “Lao Kang has a hard life. He has made Jiawei so big by himself. Seeing that he is going to take the college entrance examination next year, he suddenly got such a disease.”

My brain exploded with a “buzz”. It turned out that I saw Uncle Kang taking medicine and covering his stomach while talking. It wasn’t because he said he couldn’t straighten his back because of arthritis pain, but because he had stomach cancer. I am such a pig! I foolishly thought it was arthritis pain.

“Auntie, do you still know which hospital Uncle Kang is in?” I asked hurriedly.

“Oh, I know. The oncology department of the Provincial People’s Hospital, but I forgot which bed, I just remembered whether it was the third-to-last room at the end of the aisle or the second room.”

“Thank you, Auntie! Thank you, Auntie!” I bowed deeply to Auntie Wang, turned

I ran to the bus stop with my legs.

No wonder instant noodles have changed a lot over the past month. When he was worried about Uncle Kang’s condition, I was still blaming him for being stingy, for liking Xu Jingjing, and leaving with Xu Jingjing. In fact, the least idiosyncratic person is me. Every time I make troubles without reason, I agree to be friends, but I am always jealous. Even as a friend, I couldn’t take care of him. I saw Uncle Kang taking medicine in pain, but I didn’t think it was a big deal. Xu Jingjing, you don’t deserve to be someone else’s friend!

During the rush hour, there are various traffic jams on the road. The Provincial People’s Hospital is located in the city center, and the whole team hardly moves forward on the way to the Provincial People’s Hospital. I stood in the car, anxious.

I kept blaming myself, and finally got off the bus at the stop. I ran all the way into the hospital, kept asking questions all the way, and finally found the inpatient building. I took the elevator to the ward. When the elevator door opened, I happened to meet a patient in a hat who was coughing and walking in front of me. I followed him all the way overwhelmed to find the nurse station.

In the nurse station, two nurses are working hard. I tightened the strap of my schoolbag and called out softly twice, but no one answered me, so I had to stand obediently in front of the counter, not daring to disturb them. I looked around carefully, there was no one in the corridor, only one or two family members were busy going in and out for a while. On the wall next to the nurse’s station is what appears to be a patient’s meal card, with each patient’s name and cancer name on it. I glanced at it and saw Uncle Kang’s name, but it didn’t indicate which room number he was in.

Maybe I’ve been standing for too long

Now, the nurse who had been working hard finally found me and asked, “Which patient’s family are you? It’s past the time to visit the patient.”

“Oh, I’m from Kang Muhua…” I suddenly didn’t know how to express my relationship with Uncle Kang.

The nurse looked up at me suspiciously and said, “Are you Kang Muhua’s daughter?”

“Ah? I…” I was thinking about whether to say yes or no, but the nurse had already said it first.

“Go in, go in.” The nurse said and continued to work.

“Thank you, Sister Nurse.” I turned around and walked to the side.

“It’s not over there, it’s here. Bed 1026.” The nurse suddenly stood up and said.

“Oh, thank you.” I turned back.

Vaguely, I heard the two nurses start talking, “Why did Lao Kang’s daughter come here at this time?”

“Lao Kang is divorced. It is estimated that this daughter is with her mother. Her mother won’t let her come over.”

“It doesn’t look alike at all. It doesn’t look like Lao Kang or his ex-wife, but his son looks like a **** good-looking.”

“You have to go to the sixth floor to find Director Hao about genes.”

I secretly let out a sigh of relief and finally found room 1026.

Looking through the glass window on the door, the lights in the ward were dim. I gently pushed open the door of the ward and walked in. There are a total of three beds in the room, and the patients are lying on the three beds. The bed closest to the door was an old grandfather, probably his son had already laid down on the couch. The patient in the middle bed happened to be the bald young man in the hat that I met in the elevator. His wife was helping him to lie down, watching me go in, hesitant

, asked: “Who are you looking for?”

There was a person lying on the bed closest to the window with his back to me. I wasn’t sure if it was Uncle Kang. I walked over lightly, and sure enough it was him. I called out softly, “Uncle Kang?”

When Uncle Kang heard my voice, he was obviously startled, and then slowly turned around, surprised in disbelief. He weakly said, “Jingjing, why are you here so late?”

Uncle Kang in front of me is no longer the high-spirited middle-aged man I saw before the summer vacation. Now he is very thin, his complexion is withered, his hair is thinning, his speech is weak, and he can no longer look like he used to. It’s as if the whole person has changed. He had a section of his forearm exposed, a needle was inserted into the elbow socket, and two large bottles of infusion were hung on the hanger at the top of the hospital bed. The infusion volume of just one bottle was several times that of the last time I was sick. It was really hard to imagine how long it would take for this much icy liquid to flow into his body, and it was also hard to imagine the feeling of being enveloped in this icy liquid all over his body.

Immediately, my nose was sore, and sad tears rolled out like this, “Uncle Kang…”

“Don’t cry, girl.” He slowly propped up half of his body.

A family member next to me instructed me to shake the bed up, so I quickly wiped my tears and shook the bed little by little. I was sitting in front of the hospital bed, my tears couldn’t stop flowing again, “I’m sorry, Uncle Kang, I didn’t know you were ill… I’ve only come to see you now…”

“I didn’t let Jiawei say it. It’s okay.” Uncle Kang smiled, but there was still a hint of sadness between his brows after the smile.

At this time, the door of the ward was pushed open again,

The instant noodles came in with a thermos. He was startled when he saw me sitting in front of the hospital bed.

I haven’t seen him for more than half a month. He is thinner than before, his chin has become sharper, and his hair has grown a little longer, curling and covering his eyes.

He walked slowly with the thermos in his hand.

“How… when did you come here?” He wanted to ask me how I knew, but he changed his mind and asked when I came.

“It’s just been a while. I’ve been to your house, and Aunt Wang next door told me, and then I came over…” I looked at him sadly.

He opened the thermos, poured the dark Chinese medicine into the teacup on the bedside table, and handed it to Uncle Kang, “Dad, drink the medicine.”

Uncle Kang took the cup and took a sip, his eyebrows twisted into a line. I don’t know if this medicine is too bitter, but Uncle Kang drank it for more than ten minutes. After drinking the medicine, instant noodles helped him fall asleep, covered him with a quilt, and then led me out of the ward.

I followed him all the way to the outside of the ward, at the elevator entrance, when he stopped and started to tell me about Harao.

It turned out that after I quarreled with him that night, he accompanied Xu Jingjing to the hospital to stop the bleeding, and just received a call from the provincial medical doctor, saying that Uncle Kang was sent to the hospital in the afternoon, and he was not contacted at that time. So early the next morning, he bought a ticket for the first boat from someone else at a high price. Xu Jingjing heard the content of the call, and because she fought with me, she did not want to stay on the island and left with him. After rushing back, the doctor asked him to choose whether to operate or not. After discussing with Uncle Kang, he signed the operation sheet with a glimmer of hope. But halfway through the operation, the doctor came out of the operating room

Tell him and let him be mentally prepared. Uncle Kang has a tumor at the cardia and pylorus in his stomach. The tumor at the pylorus has expanded to the point where it connects to the intestine and is almost blocked. Cancer cells spread like sesame seeds. the entire abdominal cavity.

A series of unfamiliar medical terms left me no time to react, and it was hard to imagine just hearing about cancer cells like sesame seeds.

The Uncle Kang that I see now has completed surgery and is undergoing chemotherapy, so the whole person looks very weak. I saw that it took Uncle Kang more than ten minutes to finish the bowl of medicine, not because the bowl of medicine was bitter, but because he couldn’t drink it quickly, he not only had difficulty eating, but also had more difficulty digesting.

“The doctor said that if his mental will is still strong in all aspects, he should be able to last for half a year to a year.” He paused, took a deep breath, and then continued, “If he is not strong-willed, it may be Up to three months.”

“Isn’t it said that gastric cancer is the most promising treatment of all cancers? Isn’t it possible to remove the stomach?”

“The doctor said that my dad belongs to the advanced stage of gastric adenocarcinoma, and it cannot be operated if it metastasizes. He can only wait to die.”

He choked out the last two words with difficulty, and my tears couldn’t be restrained from rolling down.

He sighed and said, “Don’t cry.”

But I couldn’t help it, so I squatted on the ground with my face covered and cried. Before in the ward, I didn’t dare to cry freely, for fear that Uncle Kang would feel uncomfortable when he saw him. Now that he is out of the ward and knows his condition, as long as he thinks that it is only less than two months away, he has become what he is now, and there is not much left.

Days, I can no longer control.

“Jingjing.” He also crouched down, trying to pull my hand away, but I covered my face and didn’t dare to face him.

I whimpered and said, “I’m sorry…Actually three months ago, when Xiaobai and Jiayao also went to your house for dinner together, I saw Uncle Kang taking medicine in pain while covering his stomach, but he and I Said, it was because of arthritis that he couldn’t stand up straight. I naively thought he really had arthritis pain. I’m sorry, if I told you at that time, maybe Uncle Kang would not be like this. It’s all my fault! I’m a pig! I It’s a pig! I’m a pig…” I snapped my ears desperately.

“Jingjing. It has nothing to do with you.” He forcibly took my hand away, his voice became choked, “If you want to blame yourself, the person who should blame the most is me as a son. I live in the same room with him every day. Eating, sleeping in the same room, but I don’t know that he has become so ill, and he is still enduring it for me…”

I raised my head, looked at his eyes that were already red, and cried and said, “I’m sorry… woo woo woo…”

He hugged me, lightly patted my back and stroked me, patted and patted, his hands stopped moving, and finally he couldn’t stop crying with me.

What a bad friend I am. When my friend needs help, the first thing I think about is myself. I only think of how wronged I am, and I can only blame him. But Xu Jingjing, who seems to me bad, stayed with him for the first time and comforted him. he. For more than a month, he has endured more pressure than he can bear as a high school student. He didn’t even think about it, and he didn’t dare to think about it for three months, or half a year or a year later.

scene.

When I got home, Miss Beauty asked me anxiously, where did I go? Why did you come back so late? Seeing my eyes were red from crying, even a little swollen, I was shocked, thinking I was being bullied.

When I said that Uncle Kang had advanced gastric cancer, she became unwell, and kept talking about taking her father to the hospital tomorrow for a general examination. Miss Beauty asked me if I had eaten dinner. I vaguely said that I had eaten. In fact, I didn’t eat, but I didn’t feel hungry.

I entered the room and lay on the bed with a blank mind. The screen of the mobile phone suddenly lit up. Xiaobai and Jiayao were in the group asking about the instant noodles, but I couldn’t say anything. I turned off the message and turned the phone around. The dried tears flowed out again, and all that came to mind was Uncle Kang’s figure.

“Jingjing, what do you want to do in the future? What major do you want to take?”

“I imagine you are a designer. I want to be a bridge designer, building many, many bridges in the west, making the roads in the west more developed, so that the children in the deep mountains can walk out.”

“Oh, you are so enlightened. Unlike our Jiawei, you can do whatever you want to make money.”

…

The next day happened to be a weekend, so I didn’t need to make up the class. Miss Beauty made a nutritious soup and sent me to the hospital.

I said sadly: “Uncle Kang is having a hard time eating anything now.”

Miss Jiaren was also worried, but her father woke up the dreamer: “You are stupid, Jiawei’s father can’t eat it, can’t Jiawei eat it? This child takes care of his father every day, what can he eat? You Go over to see if the child has anything to eat, and if he doesn’t, ask your mother to help cook and deliver it.”

Miss Beauty said, “Do you want us to accompany you? After all, Xiaopang is very kind to you.”

“No, it’s not good that there are too many people. Uncle Kang has just undergone chemotherapy, and other patients also need to rest.”

With Miss Beauty’s gossip, I’m afraid that she will definitely affect Uncle Kang’s rest. In addition, since she has witnessed the change of instant noodles from fat to thin, she has been talking about instant noodles in front of me all day long, and I occasionally heard her chatting with her father. I just realized that she has always had the idea of making instant noodles her son-in-law.

I took the thermos bottle and hurried to the hospital by car. When I arrived at Ward 1026, I found that Uncle Kang’s bed was replaced by an older grandfather. The family members in the middle bed told me that the hospital changed Uncle Kang’s ward this morning and moved him to a VIP single room.

I patted my chest and walked to the nurse’s station to ask. The nurse told me the room number, and I thanked me and left.

When I found the ward, I was just about to push the door to go in. Through the glass window, I happened to see a woman in a dress standing in front of the hospital bed talking to Uncle Kang. The woman turned her body slightly, and I saw her beautiful face, which was Fangbian’s mother Liu Yunhua.

I retracted my hand, stepped aside, stood outside the door of the ward, and waited quietly.

I vaguely heard Liu Yunhua’s excited voice: “Kang Muhua, after so many years, why are you still so stubborn? I have found the best doctor in the United States for you, and tomorrow he will fly over for consultation, and I have already consulted with you. Jiawei has said it. Why did you refuse? When is it now? I love money, but at least I was married once, and I will help anyone who can help you. Regarding Jiawei’s future, you should think about it carefully. give me

reply. ”

I was about to probe to see what was going on, when suddenly the door to the ward was opened. Liu Yunhua walked out from the inside and was slightly stunned when she saw me standing outside the door of the ward.

She still looks like the one I saw more than half a year ago, with delicate makeup and decent clothes, she looks so beautiful, and she doesn’t look like a mother of seventeen or eighteen-year-old children at all.

I bowed respectfully towards her, and was about to push the door open when I was gently stopped by her, “Your name is Xu Jingjing, right?”

I turned my head and nodded stiffly. Since she was treated coldly and violently by her more than half a year ago, I saw that she was a little frightened.

“Come with me,” she said blankly, then walked to the safe passage.

Inexplicable, but out of courtesy, I followed her to the empty safe passage.

“I heard that you are the one who helped Jiawei lose weight?”

“Hmm.” I nodded

“Then are you and our Jiajiawei in love?” She stared at me sharply.

I frowned slightly, bit my lip, and replied, “No, Jiawei and I are just classmates and good friends.”

“Good friend? Chi-” Liu Yunhua sneered noncommittally, with mockery in his eyes, “You often go home with Jiawei, didn’t Lao Kang ask about the relationship between the two of you? I believe you two are good friends. ?”

I straightened my chest and replied, “Uncle Kang knows we are classmates and treats me very well. Not every parent will think like you. If it’s okay, I’m leaving.”

“Wait a minute! I’m not finished.” She stopped me, “You are very courageous, it’s best not to be in a relationship. Do you want to study abroad?

Book? ”

I looked at her suspiciously and didn’t answer, wondering why she would suddenly ask such a question.

“Let me just say it straight. The medical level in China is too backward. I invited the best doctor in the United States to come for consultation tomorrow. If there is hope, I can send Jiawei’s father to the United States for treatment, so that he can live a little longer. Years. I have already told Jiawei, and now I will see what Jiawei’s father means. I also told him just now, but he doesn’t want to toss. I heard from Jiawei that Jiawei’s father likes you very much, you can help me persuade me Jiawei’s father, let him actively cooperate with the treatment.”

I looked at her silently without saying a word.

She looked at me and added: “If you help, I can send you to study abroad. The United States or the United Kingdom, or any other country, you name it.”

“If I can help Uncle Kang, I will do my best.” I paused and said again, “You don’t have to go abroad.”

After I finished speaking, I turned around and left the safe passage, and walked quickly to the ward.

Uncle Kang lay quietly on the bed alone, staring blankly at the ceiling, wondering what he was thinking. I called him softly. When he saw me coming, he squeezed a smile and said, “Jingjing, why are you here again today?”

“My mother made a nutritious soup for me to bring it.” I put down the thermos and glanced at the ward of the single room subconsciously. Compared with the triple room, the accommodation environment is much better, not only there is a bed for **** , as well as other equipment such as TVs and refrigerators.

“Thank you mom for me.”

I don’t know what to say, I’m just very sad, but I know I can’t let my emotions affect Uncle Kang anymore.

Suddenly Uncle Kang asked me: “Jingjing

, do you like our Jiajiawei? ”

I looked up at him in surprise, not knowing how to answer. Liu Yunhua asked a similar question just now. I don’t know why Uncle Kang started to care about my relationship with instant noodles.

Uncle Kang said, “Don’t be nervous, I’ll just ask casually.”

I quickly said, “Uncle Kang, don’t worry. Jiawei and I have never had a puppy love. We will definitely study hard and work hard to get into a good university.”

“Our Jiawei is a bit introverted, but he’s much more cheerful since meeting you.”

I know that Uncle Kang is worried that if he has three long and two short points, and instant noodles become reluctant to talk, I said: “Uncle Kang, don’t worry, even if you are not in a university in the future, I will pull him to talk every day, saying: Until he gets bored.”

“Then please let Jingjing.” Uncle Kang said with a smile.

“Uncle Kang, if you could go to the United States for treatment and live a few more years, would you go?”

Uncle Kang’s smile suddenly faded, he paused, and then asked me: “Jingjing, if you have the opportunity to study in the United States, would you go?”

I was startled, just now Liu Yunhua also asked the same question. Although I would not go to the United States because of her suggestion, I still answered instinctively: “It should be…”

Uncle Kang was silent, and after a while he said: “Yes, the best universities are basically in the United States. The United States is a good place. In the United States, it would not be as hard as going to school now, and there would be no waste oil, Additives, genetically modified food and smog. America is good…” Uncle Kang said a lot to himself.

“Uncle Kang, I haven’t been to the United States, I don’t know how good it is, the reason I want to go is just for capitalism

The country is just curious, wants to go see it, and come back after reading it. Moreover, after hearing people around me say that the food is not good there, I think, a foodie like me should still be suitable in China. We Chinese have an old saying, a golden den and a silver den are not as good as your own kennel. I think our big China is the best. Look at the current international news, which country has our country better? Noisy everywhere. We have no racial discrimination, are generous and tolerant, and have a stable society. Walking on the road, we absolutely do not have to worry about being hit by someone carrying a gun as a target. Although our country has many shortcomings, but our country is still young and growing, and one day it will become the strongest in the world. ”

“Jingjing, your ideological awareness is really high.” Uncle Kang laughed, but he frowned again and sighed, “Alas, Jiawei doesn’t want to go to the United States…”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” At this moment, instant noodles suddenly pushed the door and entered.

“Hello, uncle.” Xu Jingjing also came with him. When Xu Jingjing saw me, her eyes were very unfriendly.

Uncle Kang said, “Oh, I didn’t say anything. Small talk.”

“The medicine is ready, drink the medicine first.” The instant noodles poured the freshly boiled Chinese medicine from the thermos.

“Leave it, I’ll drink it later. I’m a little tired now.” Uncle Kang seemed to have spent a lot of energy, and suddenly became very weak. He pulled the quilt on his body and closed his eyes.

I got up and said, “Uncle Kang, take a good rest, I’ll see you another day.”

Uncle Kang opened his eyes and said, “Jingjing, thank your mother for me. You have to study hard and take the exam.”

I nodded, the corners of my eyes were already wet, and when I walked out of the door of the ward, my tears flowed.

It flowed uncontrollably.

The instant noodles came out along with it. I said, “My mother boiled some nutritious soup. When Uncle Kang is hungry, remember to give it to him. If he can’t eat it, remember to eat it.”

“Thank you auntie for me.”

“Thank you for what? You take good care of your body.” I looked at his thin face with mixed feelings. He was strong and healthy before, but he looked thinner in front of him. Not only was he thin, but he was also haggard, and his young face was full of sadness.

“Um.”

“I’m leaving.”

But I didn’t think that when I left, I would never see Uncle Kang again.

A day later, I went to the hospital with the nutritious soup prepared by Miss Beauty. It was raining so hard today that when I arrived at the hospital, my face was covered with raindrops. Pushing aside the ward, a strange old lady lived in the ward, and the old lady’s daughter looked at me in astonishment. I exited the door, looked at the number plate on the top of the door, and confirmed that the room number was correct. At this time, my heart panicked inexplicably. Before I could speak, the old lady’s daughter said, “You came to see the one who lived here before, he’s gone.”

“Let’s go?” I contacted the instant noodles yesterday, and Uncle Kang is fine.

The old lady’s daughter glanced at her mother, as if she was afraid of touching the old man’s emotions, and came out and said to me, “I heard that she sneaked out last night and jumped into the river, so we only have beds to move in. For specifics, ask the nurse at the front desk.”

My head exploded with a “hum”, and the thermos flask in my hand fell to the ground. I couldn’t believe the family’s words.

“Thank you.” I quickly took out my phone from my bag and called Instant Noodles

, but his phone is out of service.

I rushed to the front desk and asked the nurse. The nurse’s face was not very good-looking and she refused to say anything. A family member on the side heard it and told me one or two: “It was about eleven or two last night, the patient went out with family members while he was in and out. Not long after his son woke up, he found himself When my father disappeared, I looked everywhere. When I found someone, they were gone, and they said they jumped from the river behind the hospital.”

Looking in the direction of the family member’s finger, there was a row of chairs in the elevator, full of family members, two or three men smoking cigarettes worriedly, and behind them was a row of open glass windows. Down, is the river he said.

“…Thank you.” My voice began to tremble, and I couldn’t help but tremble.

Why did Uncle Kang want to commit suicide? The day before yesterday was fine. Where are the instant noodles? Where is he now? I kept calling his cell phone and it kept showing unreachable. The only place he could think of where he might go is his house. I hurriedly left the hospital and took another taxi to his house. When I got out of the car, I ran all the way, ignoring the rain splashing at all.

When it finally arrived, the door to his house was open, and people came in and out. Aunt Wang saw me sharply, and hurriedly said, “It’s just in time for you to come, hurry up and see Jiawei’s child.”

When I heard that Jiawei was at home, I immediately returned to my original position with a heart hanging over me.

The huge living room was crowded with people, all the enthusiastic neighbors who came to help decorate the mourning hall, and everyone was busy attentively. I haven’t entered the bedroom yet

, then heard a sad violin sound.

The room was a mess, and Uncle Kang’s clothes had been packed up. Instant noodles stood under the corridor connecting the courtyard to the room, playing the violin attentively. Outside the house, raindrops fell on the wisteria trellis, on the leaves, and on the bluestone bricks laid by Uncle Kang himself, crackling.

As a music blind, I don’t know the name of this piece. When I listen to the sad melody, the sadness comes from my heart, and tears can’t help but pour out together. Even the normal sound of rain sounds endless. of sadness. He played this tune over and over again. Compared with Chinese sad music, this melody made people more sad and helpless. I also finally understood why Auntie Wang anxiously let me see him as soon as she saw me.

I looked at him with hazy teary eyes, the expression on his face was a solemn sadness I had never seen before, the fingers of the left hand kept flying and sliding on the strings, and the bow of the right hand went up and down, carrying the sadness in his heart With this melody flowing out, maybe it was just a sad melody flowing, and the sadness in his heart was still stored in place and could not be vented.

Suddenly, the sound of the piano stopped, and he turned to look at me stiffly, the expression in his eyes becoming cold and unfamiliar.

I have never seen him like this, so I called him timidly: “Instant noodles…”

He looked at me for a long time, his expression slowly returned to normal, and said, “If you have the opportunity to go to the United States, would you go?”

I frowned, why are you asking me this question?

However, before I could answer, he said, “Forget it. I’m fine.” He put the bow on the strings again and continued to pull the tune.

Until the funeral three days later, I never saw him shed a single tear. All that remained in my heart was the violin song that he played from dawn to dark, and his broken and bleeding fingers…

One day, many years later, when I heard that song again, the tears would still fall uncontrollably. I also finally know its name is “Songfromasecretgarden”. This is a song that can hurt and kill people. Just like the emotion expressed by the music, at that time, he lost his way like a lonely and helpless child, looking at the raindrops that kept falling in the air, whether it was his sad memories, or the sky was sad cry, can’t tell…

Later, he left, and left without a word, and everyone didn’t know what happened to him. The guy I once liked with curly hair like instant noodles disappeared completely from my life.

Sometimes, I look at the west sky, and he might be in that direction.

Sometimes, when I wake up from a dream, the chubby face that comes to my mind, I even think it’s just a dream.

Sometimes, even dreams will become distant and extravagant, and I am even afraid that one day, I will no longer remember his appearance, and I will never be able to remember the time when I was secretly moved…