I can't move on

Every time things start to go well in my life, someone always has to fuck it.

EVERY MOTHER FUCKING TIME, WITHOUT FAIL. Someone has to mess it up.

Mess up my fucking life and burst my bubble.

I can never just be happy, can I?

Never.

Fucking never.

Just for one second in this life, I want to be fucking happy.

I want the people around me to be safe and never have to worry.

Is that too much?

I sighed.

Clearly.

Clearly, it was too much for this lifetime, too much for everyone in it.

I let out another sigh.

Daniel was currently ripping apart my office and my fucking kitchen as he screamed.

That was about to be me if we continued sitting here doing nothing. 

I took a deep breath.

I needed to keep my composure, like Thomas, who hadn't said a word since he came over to my house.

My front door camera was replaying in my mind.

It had been 4 hours since Ryder was fucking knocked out on my front porch and taken away by someone I did not recognize, and about 3 minutes since I woke up to screaming and banging on my front door.

Daniel was screaming at me and pointing. "This is all your fucking fault."

His anger has been directed toward my home for the past 4 minutes and now it is directed towards me. 

"You know," he stopped as he snarled at me. "Zayne did nothing to anyone. Our fucking kids for crying out loud did nothing. I myself am not even a fucking mafia boss." 

He pointed at his brother. "Thomas isn't a mafia boss." He pointed back at me. "That is you. All you. You. YOU!"

"IT'S YOUR SELFISH FUCKING ASS. You-."

Thomas cut him off. "Daniel," he grabbed his brother.

I sighed again.

"You know he has Ryder now. I know you remember you and Zayne meeting; even back then you would be angry too; you were even angry at me. Also, Leo and he have been friends forever and his daughter is there too. " His voice trailed off and Thomas gave him this look and let him go.

Daniel faced me. "I'm… I'm… sorry boss." He sounded so fucking defeated.

I nodded.

My head was fucking pounding thinking about Ryder, Isabella, and Leo.

Holy fuck.

"I can drive, because I do not trust either of you behind the wheel at the moment or ever for that matter," Thomas said and the three of us quickly went outside and got into his car.

I am hoping he had a plan.

Because I cannot think straight right now.

I felt my nostrils fucking flaring like I was an animal.

Fuck.

Fuck. 

I am losing my mind.

We were driving in silence, me in the passenger seat and Daniel in the back seat.

I could hear his breathing and it was very rapid and had no specific rhythm.

"Gianna, my love, please be okay. You are strong. You are my girl; I know you are strong. Please, baby, be okay," Thomas mumbled to himself as he was speeding like a bat out of hell. 

Gianna and he have been together since they were in high school, so it's been 21 years now.

Which is insane.

That's the dream.

We all met in college and I remember all Thomas did was talk about her and he still does.

He will blow me and anyone off if she even breathes in his direction.

They are cute.

I am surprised they don't have kids by now.

Not to be that person. 

Zayne and Daniel met in college too, but through Thomas.

Which is funny.

Zayne originally had a crush on Thomas because he met him first through a core class in college.

"Fuck you smiling at?" Daniel spat at me.

"The fact Zayne had a crush on Thomas before meeting you," I said and he rolled his eyes.

I watched some of his facial features relax as I could tell that it sent him on a nostalgic journey.

"It's because I am the hotter twin," Thomas said, tapping on the wheel.

"Clearly not because as soon as he met me he fell in love."

"Or he settled," I said and Daniel gave me this look.

Thomas started laughing.

"You are hard around the edges, Daniel, and we don't look that alike, or at the time we didn't. You had this crazy black hair and all of those piercings," Thomas said, smiling and remembering all of it.

"I remember that," I said, laughing.

"He still has four of them and the hair is still black. Daniel, you are the emo gay version of Thomas, and Thomas is the good Christian straight version of you," I said and the three of us started laughing.

They were both born with blonde hair and Thomas's hair is still blonde and Daniel's is not.

"He is not the good Christian version of me," Daniel said.

"I am a good Christian."

"You are not. I see you and Gianna. You." Thomas cut him off with a middle finger in his face.

Our conversation settled down, and guilt started to hit me.

I regret so much bringing them all into this world.

This terrible fucking world.

Leo, I feel terrible every day.

Isabella, my daughter, didn't even have a choice.

And Ryder.

I am sorry every day that I looked at you that day.

I am forever sorry.

You never deserved it.

I am sorry, I am so fucking selfish.

I will let you go.

I will let you go to keep you safe.

I'm sorry. 

I looked down at my phone.

Unknown number.

"Who's calling you?" Thomas said, looking down at my lap.

"I don't know."

"Put it on carplay, let's see. Maybe it will give us a clue because there are two places I am thinking of, and one of them I don't think he would go there. He is smarter than that," Thomas said.

I nodded and clicked the green answer button on the phone.

I waited for the person to speak.

"I told you this doesn't have to be like this."

Matteo.

I felt myself start to get angry.

"I can't physically fathom what the fuck is wrong with you. I truly can't. Why are you doing this to them? If you have a problem with me, Matteo, then fucking come to me, you bitch-."

"So vulgar." I cut him off. "I don't know why you think this is okay. Why go after Daniel and Thomas's partners and kids? What the fuck did they do? You are a bitch. You better not touch any of them," I screamed.

"I recommend you calm down, listen to me, and speak nicely."

I rolled my neck and I took a deep breath.

"Good job."

"See. I know you know where I am. You just have to think about it. You do know where I am, Dom."

I know where they are?

I just have to think about it?

What kind of fucking ominous shit is that?

What the fuck?

"I'll leave Zayne and his kids alone. I will leave Gianna alone and I will leave your daughter alone," Matteo said.

Thomas pulled over and he and his brother made eye contact.

"What about Ryder and Leo?" he started laughing.

Fuck this bitch is crazy.

Where would they be?

I just have to think about it.

Where.

He wouldn't be at La Notte Nera.

That's too easy.

Where would he be?

"Them. I will think about it," Matteo said in this condescending ass voice.

"Think hard about where I would be."

Fuck, what was the name of that place?

Uh.

Fuck.

The Crimson Veil

THE CRIMSON FUCKING VEIL.

I typed it into maps. "Go there."

"You figured it out? Good job." He started to laugh again. "You know that boy you call yours? Whatever that means," Matteo said.

Why the fuck would he have them there?

"You better not touch him or any of them. I will fucking kill you!" I yelled.

He laughed. 

"I will leave your daughter alone and everyone else; they aren't my concern. I am just using them to get at you. And Leo." His voice changed into this weird flirting one I couldn't understand. "He's my love and I don't want to lose him again."

"Your what?" Is any of this real?

What the fuck is happening?

"What do you mean, your love?" Matteo laughed.

Fuck his laughing was driving me crazy. 

"I'm afraid that's not your biggest concern right now, Dominic. I think it should be Ryder."

"You better not fucking touch him. I will genuinely kill you if you fucking lay a hand on him," I screamed.

Thomas gave me a look.

Fuck.

I am genuinely so angry.

I have never felt this way about anyone before.

Holy fuck.

Holy Fucking Fuck.

"Ryder is different from them all." He laughed again. "He used to work for me, actually. Did he tell you that?"

What?

I don't know if it's because I didn't sleep enough and I am losing my mind, but what?

"What the fuck does that mean, bitch? Stop being so fucking ominous, I swear to God," I yelled.

"How did you make it so far in the mafia world with this much of a temper, my god? That's what makes this so easy. You blow up and go crazy when I do anything to anyone around you. That makes it so damn easy," Matteo said, laughing.

I sighed.

I did have a temperament issue.

But I am trying to get better.

Clearly not.

"Stop beating around the fucking bush and tell me, you cunt," I screamed. 

"He signed a contract with me. Working at the veil. So technically, I can do whatever I want to him and you can't stop me."

"Contract?"

What.

I let out a sigh as I continued to try and breathe.

"Bingo. When his dad lost his job before he started working under you. He signed a contract with me. He was 18. I remember that day like it was yesterday. He was young, dumb, and stupid, which was perfect. His mom's job wasn't bringing in enough money to keep them afloat, so he turned to sex work."

I gulped.

I watched as Thomas's hands jerked on the wheel.

"Sex work?" I felt the words coming out of my mouth before I could even process them.

I felt my breath start to pick up.

Ryder? 

"Yeah, so scary. I'll read it to you.

The Crimson Veil Service Contract

Parties Involved: This legally binding agreement ("contract") is entered into by Ryder Callahan, hereinafter referred to as the "Participant," and Matteo Rossi, hereinafter referred to as the "Proprietor" of The Crimson Veil.

Oh, so scary.

Effective Date: March 7th, 2022

So the 3rd anniversary was last week?

Duration of Agreement: This contract shall remain in full force and effect for a period of 15 years from the effective date.

Services and Obligations:

The participant agrees to perform, without reservation, any and all services as requested by the proprietor or approved parties affiliated with The Crimson Veil, so anyone who works under or with the proprietor. This may include, but is not limited to, providing companionship, entertainment, and other intimate services as outlined in specific assignments.

The participant consents to perform for any designated individual as instructed by the proprietor, without limitations on the frequency, duration, or nature of the engagement.

Shall I read the specific assignments that he has done because of his signature on the contract? Of course. Of course, I should. 

Client Entertainment: The participant must provide one-on-one companionship to clients, which includes engaging in social events, public outings, and personal gatherings as directed.

Social Escort Services: Accompany high-profile clients to events, ensuring the client receives undivided attention and appears accompanied by a discreet, attentive partner.

Exclusive Encounters: Perform private, intimate services for clients as requested. The nature, location, and duration of these encounters are determined solely by the client or the proprietor; the participant has no say and can't deny or will result in a doc of pay.

Custom Requests: Fulfill specific requests from clients, including role-playing, conversations, or other tailored scenarios, with absolute compliance and without reservation.

Non-Disclosure Compliance: Engage with clients under strict confidentiality, ensuring that all interactions, details, and identities remain undisclosed and unrecorded. Breach of confidentiality results in immediate penalties or extended contract terms.

Surveillance and Monitoring Compliance: Remain available for all necessary surveillance, tracking, and monitoring procedures as deemed appropriate by the proprietor.

I don't think we ever used this. 

Operational Assignments: Carry out special tasks as directed by the proprietor, including but not limited to monitoring, gathering information on rivals, or attending covert meetings.

Travel Requirements: Respond to travel assignments as directed by the proprietor, with potential international relocations for extended service periods as necessary. Refusal is not permitted.

Physical Maintenance: Adhere to appearance and health standards as specified by the proprietor, including regular grooming, physical training, skin bleaching, and aesthetic changes requested by clients or the establishment.

Skin bleaching." Matteo's voice faltered.

He stopped reading the contract and he sounded confused.

He let out a breath.

"Anyway. The contract continues.

Substance Use and Resilience Training: Participate in tolerance training, including controlled substance use or resilience conditioning, as requested for specific assignments.

Substance use?

What?

24-Hour Availability: Be on-call for assignments at any hour with minimal notice.

Restricted Communication: Limit all personal communication while on assignment, including restricted contact with friends, family, or other outside parties.

Extension of Contract Terms: Failure to comply with any directive may result in an extended contract period, with additional years of service added at the proprietor's discretion.

Monetary Penalties: Monetary deductions, or forfeiture of pay, apply for minor infractions or perceived inadequacies during service.

The services continue

The participant shall adhere strictly to all guidelines, requests, and commands given by the proprietor or appointed supervisors while fulfilling this contract. Non-compliance, resistance, or refusal to perform services may result in penalties as determined by the proprietor or anyone working for or under the proprietor.

The participant waives any rights to lodge complaints, file lawsuits, or take any form of legal action regarding services rendered under this contract.

The participant shall not disclose or discuss details of engagements, clientele, or compensation, nor will the participant have the authority to end an engagement without explicit permission from the proprietor.

The Crimson Veil and its proprietor bear no responsibility for physical, mental, or emotional repercussions arising from the services rendered under this contract. The participant waives any and all liability claims against The Crimson Veil, its proprietor, and its affiliates.

The proprietor may alter or amend the terms of this contract at any time without prior notification to the participant.

The participant shall not retain the right to appeal or modify any part of this agreement.

Acknowledgment and Consent By signing this Contract, the Participant acknowledges full understanding of the terms outlined herein and consents to all conditions and obligations without exception or recourse.

Signature of Participant: Ryder Callahan

Signature of Proprietor: Matteo Rossi."

As he finished reading the contract, I took myself back to reality.

Ryder did all of those things?

I felt my heart start to race.

Oh lord.

Oh god. 

His laughing is what irked me the most.

He sounded like he had no remorse, only on certain parts, where he sounded confused.

How could you sound confused about a contract you wrote?

That doesn't make any sense.

My stomach feels disgusting, and I feel like throwing up.

"So, you can come if you want after hearing that. I know you know where I am. But I don't think you'll want to after hearing of all the nasty things Ryder has done."

The line went dead.

Oh god.

I don't know what to say.

Or what to do?

Or what to think.

Oh god.

I feel gross thinking about it.

I feel gross thinking about all the things Ryder had to do.

"What's the plan?" Thomas said as we parked in front of the club.

What was the plan?