Chapter 42: Comfort and Childhood
When they arrived at the kitchen of the Yongyagong with Manu still in her arms, a hush fell over the servants. Most of them scattered out of the way, heads bowed. Some of them gathered the courage to look up at her nervously. She sighed. Word must have spread. That was what she had intended, of course. But it did tend to be inconvenient at times.
She looked around, wondering who to approach.
Thankfully, she did not have to take the first step. An elderly woman stepped forward and bowed.
“Lady Qing, apologies for our shabby welcome. What may we do for you?”
She must be the Head Chef here, or whatever the head woman of the kitchen is called. She smiled at her.
“Auntie,” she addressed, almost casually, but her voice tinged with respect for the elderly woman. “Is there any leftover rice?”
The maids glanced at each other in confusion but the woman, probably a professional used to the whims of the ladies of the harem, nodded in answer.
“Yes, Lady Qing.”
She grinned. “Great! Bring me a few eggs, whatever vegetables you have, oil and a wok. Oh! And some soy sauce. Where is the stove?”
She didn’t quite need to ask; she found the stove in no time after looking around for a bit. There were several mud stoves on the ground lined up against one wall. She walked to the stoves and set Manu down, the elderly chef following them frantically.
“My lady, please let us know what you want. We will make it right away!”
“No.” She shook her head. “My son wants to eat my cooking. Isn’t that right?”
She glanced at Manu who nodded enthusiastically. She smiled and ruffled his hair before looking back at the woman. “See?”
“But, my lady, it is unbecoming of a concubine to do such menial work. You would have to sit on the ground! Please let us do it.”
She waved a hand. “It is quite alright. It’s nothing I have never done before.”
“But the etiqu-”
“Auntie,” she interrupted the woman firmly before her eyes softened in an open display of worry. She lowered her voice to a softer tone and spoke, “My son has just gone through a terrible ordeal. I wish to comfort him the best I can. Please think of me as a mother trying to comfort her child, not a concubine. I am sure no one would mind if we loosen the rules for a bit, no?”
The elderly woman opened her mouth, paused, and then sighed in defeat. “Very well, my lady. I will prepare the ingredients.”
“Thank you!”
She sat down on the low stool in front of one of the stoves and pulled Manu down beside her.
“What are you guys doing?”
The familiar voice of Fu Caiyi reached Samaya’s ears and she turned around to find her standing at the entrance of the kitchen. Behind her were the three little bundles who always tended to follow her around. She could see them looking at Manu with wide, round eyes filled with concern. Princess Fang must have followed the twins to find Manu. Samaya felt something melt in her heart. It was great to see that Manu was finding more family who cared about him.
She grinned at the woman. “Oh hello, Lady Fu! Princesses!” She gave the children a small bow before turning to Fu Caiyi. “I am cooking Manu’s comfort food! Do you want some?”
Fu Caiyi tilted her head and frowned. “Comfort food?”
“Oh.” That was not a thing here, was it? “It’s food that comforts you, makes you feel better when you eat it, especially if you have had a hard day.”
Fu Caiyi’s eyes lit up before they softened in sympathy as she glanced at Manu.
“I see…”
She seemed to be at a loss for what to say.
Thankfully, her daughter spoke up before her. “May we join them, mother?”
Fu Caiyi glanced at Ai. She opened her mouth, most likely to refuse, but Samaya did not give her the chance.
“Of course, Your Highness. The more the merrier! Come, come! It will take some time to be cooked, however, so you will have to wait.”
Ai nodded enthusiastically while pulling Mei and Fang with her. She was the most outgoing of the three. Fang was the shyest, which was a given when she lived alone with her mother and had so little interaction outside of her time with the other two princesses. They hopped over and sat down beside Manu
By this time, the servants had set everything up for her.
She inspected the vegetables. Fresh enough. “Are these washed?”
The woman who was putting down a pot of leftover rice paused and then shook her head nervously.
“Alright, I need you to-”
“I’ll wash them!” Manu finally spoke up for the first time since entering the kitchen.
Samaya glanced back at her son and frowned. “Are you sure?”
Usually, she would ask him to wash the vegetables or give him some other menial chore but today she wanted him to just sit back and relax while waiting for his favourite food.
Manu nodded in return. “I can do it!” He said, perhaps a bit too fast. Samaya paused. Perhaps he needed something to occupy his mind after everything that happened.
“Alright. Go ahead. Don’t play with the water though.”
He nodded and grabbed the basket of vegetables before running outside.
“Hey! Wait for me!”
Ai shouted as she sprung up and followed her half-brother out.
“Ai! Do not run!”
Fu Caiyi made to get up, her beautiful face marred by a frown as she made to get up.
“Let them go,” she said softly. “They are having fun.” She turned to the other two children. “Do you wish to go as well?”
The two glanced at each other before Princess Fang turned to her shyly. “May we?”
She smiled and nodded. “Of course.” They wasted no time in following their siblings with hurried steps.
“My lady,” the elderly matron of the kitchen spoke. “It is unbefitting of the Imperial Prince and Princess to behave without manner and etiquette, even more so if they are insisting on doing menial work.”
Samaya sighed and turned to the woman. “Auntie. My child has been harmed for almost two weeks in the name of those so-called etiquette and manners.” She very nearly growled the words out. “Forgive me if I am not keen on imposing such useless things on him after that.”
The woman finally seemed to realize that going down that path could be dangerous for her. She bowed and stepped back. “Apologies, my lady. I only spoke out of concern.”
“Your concern is appreciated, but unnecessary,” she said, her voice flat.
“Please do not be too harsh on the poor woman, Lady Qing,” Fu Caiyi spoke beside her. “She only speaks the truth. Imperial children must always be perfect. They must follow the Imperial etiquette and present themselves flawlessly. They are the future of the Empire, after all.”
Samaya frowned. “They are children,” she said firmly. “Whom they are born from does not change that fact. They have barely even begun to understand their surroundings, especially the Princesses. To impose such burdens on them because they are of the Imperial bloodline - something they had no control over - is nothing short of selfishness on our part. Let them live their childhood while they can, they will have to go out into the treacherous world soon enough. We should educate them, yes, but I refuse to strip my son of his childhood memories in the name of rules that, at the end of the day, matter little in the face of his happiness and well-being.”
Her voice was soft but contained such conviction that it made Fu Caiyi to ponder over her words. She then sighed, pulled her knees to her chest and pressed her chin against it.
“I suppose,” she whispered softly. “Prince Xu might have that freedom as the First Imperial Prince and potential heir to the throne. But the Princesses, my children do not. They must be the perfect embodiment of Imperial power and grace. Otherwise, they will become obsolete and useless.”
She frowned. “Says who?”
Fu Caiyi paused. “The world, I suppose. The daughters of the Emperor must be the image of beauty, etiquette and grace. They will become important links to create alliances with nobles and other nations. As such, they must be perfect.”
Samaya sorted those words into their real meaning. “So, they will be sold off to secure political alliances.”
The other woman laughed, a soft, sad thing. “That is a harsh way to put it.”
Once again, Samaya found herself being grateful that she was born in the modern world. What a suffocating way to live. She was not sure she would have been able to endure it. She honestly admired these women, their strength, their endurance.
Samaya sighed and gently put a hand on Fu Caiyi’s. “Lady Fu, what you are talking about is still far off in the future. Ai and Mei are barely five years old and Princess Fang is six. No one would expect them to be the epitome of grace and beauty at this age. They are allowed to be childish. They are allowed to make mistakes. Besides, they are Princesses. As long as they remain so, people will fall at their feet. However, in the … unlikely case that something happens and they are no longer Princesses, what then? What will be their identity? What will they live for?” She squeezed her hand. “It is good to work to be a good Imperial Princess, but it should not consume their entire life, heart and soul. If it does, they will soon forget to be their own persons.”
Samaya was not sure why she was rambling off so much, spitting out stuff that no doubt went against everything the woman was raised to believe. It was not like her to try to convince people of her way of thinking. Perhaps it was because her son was hurt because of such useless rules. Or was it because the conversation reminded him of how she grew up trying to be the perfect girl for her mother and then the perfect agent for TEA?
Adopting and raising Manu and later watching Ah-Liu trying to come out of his past trauma made her reflect on herself. Notions that she always vaguely knew but never practised became solidified in his mind as she tried to give her son a happy life. Watching those little girls be drowned in unfair expectations made her unreasonably angry.
Fu Caiyi looked like she wanted to say something. But before she could, Samaya heard rapid footsteps approaching. She turned to find Manu holding the basket of vegetables over his head with a beaming smile on his face … and drenched head to toe in water. The Princesses came up behind him in a similar, if less drenched state. Their clothes and faces were still wet with splashes of water. Manu’s sleeves had ridden down, exposing his scars for all to see.
“Manu!” She stood and walked to the children, ignoring the soft yet horrified gasps around her. “I told you not to play with water!”
“Ap… apologies, Lady Qing.” Princess Ai spoke softly, with nervousness in her voice that was uncharacteristic of her. “It was my fault. I was… I wanted to tease Brother a little so I began splashing water on him and … then we all started splashing each other and …”
Samaya sighed and rubbed her face. “It’s alright, Princess. I am just worried about you, that’s all.” She turned. “Ah-Liu!”
Ah-Liu had been waiting patiently just beside the entrance where she told him to be. He quickly made his way to her. “Get them changed, will you? They will get a cold at this rate. Bring them back here once you are done.”
Ah-Liu nodded and gently led the children out. Fu Caiyi got up to go but Samaya stopped her and assured her that Ah-Liu could take care of the children.
Once she was done, she sat down to work. The servants helped her cut up the vegetables as she seasoned the wok over the stove. As she began to cook, Fu Caiyi settled down beside her quietly. After a while, they began to chatter about inane things.
“Ai and Mei are growing up so fast. I don’t know what to do.”
“You won’t get any advice from me. I barely know what I am doing with Manu half the time.”
“The Imperial Consort won’t be happy, you know.”
“What else is new?”
“Now that I think about it, soy sauce and salt are luxurious and expensive items… how did you find it in that poor border town?”
“Everything is possible when you know the right people.”
And so on and so forth.
It took her over half an hour to get the cooking down. She asked the servants to clear a table and arrange some tools for everyone. Usually, she would have no problem eating on the floor. But Fu Caiyi was there and there was only so much she could push against “etiquette”.
As they were setting up the table, Samaya heard the familiar footsteps of Manu with three others following him. Ah-Liu knew how to be silent so she did not expect to hear his. But she vaguely felt his presence as well.
She didn’t look up as she spoke. “You’re here? Come on, sit down. Food’s ready.”
She realized something was wrong as she heard shuffling around her before it all went almost deathly quiet. The stool beside her screeched as it was slid back. She frowned as she felt a presence much larger than Manu right behind her.
“It seems Our beloved concubine is a woman of many talents.”