Homestar Saga

"Unacceptable." Captain Mims glowered at Lissa through his helmet. If he wasn't operating flight controls, Yvian was pretty sure he would have folded his arms or put his hands on his hips.

"Why not?" asked Yvian. "It's a good name."

"The Random Encounter was my home for twenty years," growled the human. "I'm not going to just give another ship the same name."

"The Encounter was a Federation gladiator just like this one," Lissa pointed out. "It's the same ship. There's no reason-"

"It's disrespectful," the human cut her off. "And it's bad luck."

"It was your wife's favorite song."

The ship in question slowed considerably as it entered the planet's atmosphere. New Pixa stretched as far as the eye could see in browns and greens and blues. It was beautiful. Maybe the most beautiful thing Yvian had ever seen. She was so caught up in the view she almost missed the Captain's ominous silence.

Yvian entered the fray before the man could explode. "It's already done. The IFF-"

"Will be changed," Mims insisted. "There's only one Random Encounter. Only one, and it's gone."

"You're right," said Lissa.

"I won't let you..." Mims paused. "Wait. What?"

"You're right," Lissa repeated. "We shouldn't have named it without you, anyway. We'll change the IFF."

The human grunted. "Damn right."

"I'm sorry." Lissa sighed. "I just thought that... you know." She was silent for a moment as she stared out the viewports. "I thought you picked that name as a tribute. To remember her. Remember all of them, I guess. I just assumed you'd want to keep that going." She ran a hand over the back of her helmet. "We should have talked to you first. I'm sorry."

Yvian glanced at the Captain. He was rigid, motionless save for his hands on the controls. Lissa was wrong about him. Mims hadn't chosen the name as a tribute. He wasn't honoring his wife's memory. He chose Random Encounter because it hurt him. Every time he heard it he would remember Callie's favorite song. Remember that she was dead, and that he was the one who had killed her. He chose it so he would never forget, so the pain could never fade. Mims had named his home after his deepest regret. His greatest crime. Yvian teared up a little at the thought of it.

"Maybe..." Yvian took a breath and steeled herself before continuing. "Maybe it's for the best the Encounter's gone." Mims went rigid again, but the pixen forged ahead. "You've been hurting for so long. Carrying all that guilt. All that pain." She hesitated, then placed a hand on his shoulder. "The name was a reminder, but... Maybe you don't need it anymore. Maybe it's... Maybe it's time to let go."

"God fucking dammit." Mims slapped Yvian's hand away. He shuddered, forcing the tension out of himself. He took deep, slow breaths. Finally, he spoke. "Fine. The Random Encounter it is."

"I'm uh..." Lissa sounded concerned. "I don't think-"

"Shut it," said Mims. "We're getting close to the city."

All attempts to scan the cities on New Pixa had failed. Something about the material defied their ability to get good readings. The rest of the planet was teeming with life, but Yvian didn't know if any of it was sapient. The Captain had decided the simplest thing to do was pick a city and go see for themselves if it was inhabited or not.

The newly dubbed Random Encounter dived, bringing the city into view. Light gleamed off hundreds of spires. Buildings of glass stabbed into the sky. No, not glass. Crystal. The city was crystal.

Yvian's breath caught. "Lucendians..."

"Looks that way," said Mims. "That would explain why the scanners couldn't get through. Lucendian crystal absorbs energy." He hmmed to himself. "Guess we don't have to worry about any of them still being around. The planet's been terraformed."

"Huh?" Yvian spared him a glance. "What makes you think that?"

"Think about it," said the human. "Lucendian ships fill themselves up with methane when there's passengers on board. Chances are that's what they breathed. This," he gestured at the viewports, "is an oxygen rich environment. Perfect for you and me, highly poisonous to them." He angled the Encounter towards a field near the edge of the city. "We'll still gear up before we go out there, but I'm not expecting company."

A smooth landing and several minutes later, Mims and the pixens walked down the exit ramp of the Random Encounter. Each of them carried a KL53 Assault Spiker and a plasma battle rifle. Sadly, all their heavier ordnance had been lost with the original Encounter, and they'd only been able to find a single nanocarbon katana in the pirate ships they'd captured. Mims had it strapped to his hip. He was also wearing purloined pirate voidarmor, since they'd lost their spare GR17s. This was technically an improvement, as the pirates had the more advanced GR20 armors, but it still irked the Captain.

A light breeze stirred the plants of the field, but Yvian couldn't feel it through her voidarmor. She had a wild urge to remove her helmet and breathe in real air. She didn't. There was no telling what kind of plants or microbes they could be dealing with. There were no guarantees the armor could deal with alien toxins, or that she could make it back to a medpod if the wrong virus decided to ravage her body. They'd set the ship to do some intensive scanning while they were out, but Mims didn't want them to take any chances until they knew what was out there.

"Holy shit." Yvian turned at the Captain's voice. He was staring at the edge of the field. The plants in the field were a yellowish green, knee high, thin and bendy. They were not what the human was looking at. Mims walked towards a clump of larger, darker green plants. The sisters followed, weapons ready.

"What is it?" asked Lissa.

"Hops," said the human. He holstered his plasma rifle and reached for the strange yellow bulbs hanging below the leaves. "I think these are hops."

"What The Crunch is a hops?" Yvian wanted to know.

"It's a plant from Earth that was." Mims spoke with reverence. "Humanity has planted it on every planet we reached, every sector we've inhabited. It is a treasure greater than apples or wheat or even cannabis."

"A treasure?" Yvian could hear Lissa's confused frown.

"Our greatest treasure," said Mims. "Hops are what we use to make beer."

The sisters stood in stunned silence. A few seconds later, they swore in unison. "By the Bright Lady..."

"Yeah," the human agreed. "By the Bright Lady. Looks like the nation of Pixa can have it's own breweries." He unstrapped his BR24 assault rifle and tucked it into his shoulder. "More importantly, this proves the Xill terraformed the planet. And I mean, terraformed. The biome's a copy of Earth that was."

"Does that mean I can take my helmet off?" Yvian asked.

"No. Only idiots take that kind of risk." Mims walked away, heading towards the city of crystal. "Besides, this is a Lucendian city. If their buildings are like their ships, you don't want to choke."

They walked. The crystal city rose around them. The streets, the walls, the domes, all made from the same crystal substance as Blingy. Yvian had expected the pathways to be slick, but the surface was subtly pebbled to allow for traction.

The city shined in the light of it's homestar, making Yvian glad her visor filtered the light. It was a silent place. Oppressively so. Yvian felt as if she were walking in a derelict. Exploring a ghost ship. They entered a few of the buildings, but found nothing but crystal. No bones or bodies or artifacts. They saw no damage to the structures, no signs of conflict. It was as if this place had never been lived in at all.

Tension built. Everything was so quiet. Pristine. Dead. After two hours of exploring, Lissa let out a huff of frustration. "We should have used the drones for this."

"Drones aren't a good way to initiate first contact," Mims pointed out. "We'll send them out once we're sure there aren't any sapients here."

"I'm feeling pretty sure," said Lissa. "We should head back to the ship."

Mims consulted his wrist console. "We're halfway to the center of the city. We should at least check that far."

"It's a waste of time," said Lissa. "There's no one here."

"Uh..." A sound had caught Yvian's attention. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."

Footsteps. Getting louder, echoing off the crystal walls. Yvian checked her wrist console, but the limited sensor suite wasn't picking anything up. No motion. No lifesigns. She looked around, but she couldn't tell where the sound was coming from.

Mims gestured sharply towards one of the buildings. Cover, Yvian realized. The three of them crowded in through an open door way. "Shields up," said the human. An energy field shimmered to life around him. The pixens followed his example.

The footsteps approached steadily. They were steady, neither slow nor fast. The interval between the steps was exact. No variation in the timing or the force of the steps. Still no movement on Yvian's sensors. Was she sure it was footsteps? She shouldered her rifle, sighting out the doorway. Yes. She was sure.

They waited, weapons raised. Yvian realized she was holding her breath, and forced herself to let it out. She let the tension drain from her shoulders, willed her muscles to be loose and ready. Another ten seconds, and she could tell where the steps were coming from. Her rifle swiveled to cover a building on the corner across from them.

Another ten seconds, and a figure stepped into view. Male. Pixenoid. He wore a similar outfit to Exodus, but cut down. Less fancy. Black pants, black tie, white shirt. A hat she would later learn was a fedora was perched atop his head. His skin was silver and hairless. No, not skin. Metal. The man was metal.

"Fuck me," whispered the Captain.

"You know what it is?" Yvian whispered back.

"A nightmare made flesh," Mims dropped the whisper, speaking with cold, professional calm. "Intelligent, lethal, and evil in ways we'd never imagined. They killed millions during the Singularity Wars, and worse than killed millions more. The only thing more hated is Exodus himself."

"Then why aren't we whispering?"

"Because it's pointless. It knows we're here and it can hear every word we say." Mims stepped out of the doorway, weapon trained on the machine. "Isn't that right, Peacekeeper?"