Homestar Saga

"Is this really necessary?"

 

Lissa gestured at her new outfit. The Captain had insisted they change out of their voidarmor for a "special training exercise." Yvian had been dubious when she saw what he wanted them to change into.

 

Yvian's new outfit was all one piece. The material was thin and surprisingly comfortable, but too formfitting to leave much to the imagination. It covered more skin than traditional pixen attire, but still left her legs, shoulders, most of her back, and a hint of cleavage exposed. The suit was red, with the words "SPACE CAPTAIN!" emblazoned in gold letters near her midriff. Above the letters was a picture of Space Captain himself with light gleaming off his helmet and his blaster held high. She loved it, but she wasn't sure what possible reason the human would have for giving her such a thing.

 

Lissa's outfit was more traditional. Small patches of thin white cloth covered her chest, held in place by thin straps. Another bottom piece that was basically just panties completed the outfit. The word PRETTYPANTS was scrawled across the back of it in letters that glowed pink. Yvian suspected her sister liked her outfit, too, but that didn't stop her from addressing the Captain with a raised eyebrow and a hint of a smirk.

 

"Not really," Captain Mims answered Lissa's question. He was as barefoot as the sisters, clad only in a pair of black shorts. "But it's more convenient for what we're doing. Conventional clothing gets heavy and drags you down in water. Swimsuits are more practical for learning how to swim."

 

"Swim?" Yvian cocked her head. "Our special training is swimming?"

 

"Yep."

 

"Why?" Lissa frowned. "We live on a voidship. I haven't seen enough water to swim in in my entire life."

 

"True," said the human. "But if we get our hands on a planet, we might find ourselves dealing with a body of water. Better to be prepared ahead of time."

 

Lissa grunted. Yvian asked, "Shouldn't we be doing this in the voidarmor then? It's not like we'll be wearing swimsuits on an alien planet."

 

"Maybe," the Captain admitted. "But that's no way to experience the ocean for the first time. Trust me ladies. You'll be glad we did it this way once we hit the beach."

 

"Are you sure it's safe?" asked Yvian. She glanced around the fancy room. Mims had called it a penthouse suite. It was spacious and full of expensive looking furniture, but didn't look particularly secure. Yvian hadn't walked around without her armor in months. Not having it now made her feel... vulnerable.

 

"Nowhere is ever really safe," Mims told her. Then he shrugged. "But this is as close as we're going to get. Krog Prime's a hard planet to infiltrate, and the security at this resort is top notch. Scan shielded, access controlled, and watched over by two hundred and three highly trained krog with the best weapons and scanning equipment money can buy."

 

"And they'll be watching us, too," Lissa assumed.

 

"Part of the job," shrugged the Captain. "But discretion is guaranteed, and the krog take stuff like that seriously. Still, I wouldn't share any big secrets while we're down here,"

 

"So that's what the swimsuits are for." Lissa nodded to herself. "You didn't have to do that, you know. I don't care if some random krog see me naked."

 

"Uh..." Mims scratched the back of his head. "You can skinny dip if you want, I guess. I mostly wanted to make sure Yvian was covered." He held up one hand, revealing a small camera drone. "I'm planning to record the occasion, and taking pictures of your sister in the nude seems a little..." He glanced at Yvian. His brow furrowed. "Unwise."

 

Lissa eyed him for a second, then snorted with laughter. "Good call."

 

The air smelled of water and salt. The smell grew stronger as they walked out of the hotel. Yvian found it refreshing, if a little strange. They stepped out onto a wooden patio. The wood was warm, and surprisingly pleasant. Yvian had rarely gone barefoot, and this was the first bit of genuine wood she'd touched.

 

Beyond the patio was a stretch of white sand. Beyond the sand was a vast expanse of open water. More water than she'd seen in her entire lifetime. The water moved, undulated, lapping against the sand in small waves. The light of the Krog Homestar refracted off the water. Yvian decided it was the most beautiful view she'd ever seen.

 

The Captain took a deep breath through his nose, making a pleased mmm sound. "Smell that air. I haven't been on a beach since..." His face clouded. A string of emotions flashed through it. He shook his head and started forward again. Lissa shared a concerned look with Yvian. They followed.

 

Solar radiation warmed Yvian's skin as they walked down to the water. The sand was warmer than the wooden patio, bordering on hot. It squished beneath her toes. Yvian reveled in the sensation. Few pixens ever stepped foot on a real planet. Even fewer would ever receive an experience such as this. But someday they would. She swore it to herself. She would bring her people to a world of their very own.

 

Lissa let out a yelp when the first small wave crashed over her foot. Yvian hissed at the touch of the cold water. The Captain, who'd kept his back to them as they walked, finally glanced back. He was already knee deep in the ocean. "Yeah. Not a lot of temperature variation living in the void. You'll get used to it." He continued deeper in to the waves. "You can ease yourselves in if you want, but it's better to get immersed quick as you can. It feels pretty good once the shock wears off."

 

Yvian glared at the human's back as he trudged forward. Lissa let out another "yeep" as a wave splashed halfway up their shins. With a determined grimace, Yvian marched out after the Captain. Each step and each wave sent shocks and goosebumps up and down her body. She gritted her teeth and kept moving forward. Once the Captain was waist deep, he dived under the waves. He came up a few seconds later. Yvian tried to emulate him, but found herself panicking as water went up her nose and into her lungs. Mims set her back on her feet and pounded her back while she coughed up salty water.

 

Eventually, Yvian recovered and Lissa managed to ease her way over. Once she'd been underwater a few times, the cold wasn't so shocking anymore. The Captain approached swimming with the same seriousness he'd applied to everything else they'd learned, but his disapproving frown only spurred Yvian to laugh more as she embarked on a splash fight with her sister. He finally broke after the third time Lissa splashed him, breaking into a grin and trying to dunk her under the water.

 

When the Homestar rose higher, they broke for lunch. The large patio in front of the resort hosted a number of tables and benches. An awestruck krog brought them a menu when they sat down in one.

 

"She seemed to really like us," Lissa remarked as the krog hustled off to fetch them their drinks.

 

"Certificate of Excellence," Mims reminded her. "They look at us the way Yvian looks at Space Captain."

 

"It's kind of a weird feeling," Yvian said. "I'm not sure I like it."

 

"Price of fame." The Captain shrugged. "But they'll sell me ships, now. I've commissioned an entire fleet."

 

"This place is nice," Lissa changed the subject, looking around. "I'm surprised we're the only ones here."

 

"I booked the whole place," the human told her. "It's just us and the resort staff."

 

"Speaking of staff..." Yvian started.

 

"No slaves," Mims assured her. "I made arrangements."

 

Yvian nodded, relieved. The sight of slaves filled her with an existential horror. It was good to know she wouldn't encounter any here.

 

The krog waitress returned with a round of fruity, fizzy drinks. "Know what eat?" she asked.

 

Lissa looked up from her menu. "I see a lot of pixen dishes on here. Do you...?"

 

"Special cooks," the waitress told her. "Pixen. Cook good for heroes of krog."

 

"Oh. Neat!"

 

After lunch they sat back, drinking cold alcohol and watching the ocean. Solar radiation beat down on Yvian's skin, but she was feeling too relaxed to do anything about it.

 

"Bright Lady," Lissa sighed happily. "This place is almost perfect."

 

"Almost?" The Captain quirked an eyebrow.

 

"There's no beer," she explained.

 

"No hot girls," Yvian muttered under her breath. There were female krog, but that hardly counted.

 

"There will be," the human assured Lissa. "It just takes a while to get alien beverages through customs."

 

"Oh. Nice."

 

After a few seconds of companionable silence, Yvian asked, "So what are we doing next?"

 

"Whatever we want," said Mims. "We're on vacation."

 

"Vacation?" Yvian had heard of the concept, but she'd never considered actually being on one before.

 

"Damn right." The Captain leaned back with his hands behind his head. "We've been through the ringer these past few months. Nothing but one problem after another. So for the next two weeks, we're going to relax, drink beer, and hang out at the beach."

 

"Vacation..." Yvian rolled the word around in her mouth. She grinned. "I can finally catch up on Space Captain!"

 

Lissa's lips quirked upward. "You know, we basically are Space Captain." She took another sip of her drink. "We have adventures, fight bad guys... We even saved a planet."

 

"But we do it for money," Yvian pointed out."Space Captain's a hero."

 

"I suppose," Lissa conceded the point.

 

"And we haven't saved any princesses."

 

"I saved a princess," Mims spoke up.

 

"Oh yeah, Princess Bossypants!" Lissa giggled. "And she totally wants to be your Lady Blue!"

 

"I've already got a Lady Blue," Mims told her. He turned back to Yvian. "Do whatever makes you happy, After this, we need to get back to work." He stared out at the ocean. "We've barely made a credit since the Incursion."

 

Lissa raised an eyebrow at him. "Aren't you, and I quote, 'filthy stinking rich?' What do you care?"

 

"It's the principle of the thing," Mims said, defensive. "A privateer..."

 

"Never does anything for free," the girls finished in unison, rolling their eyes.

 

"More to the point, you're looking to colonize a planet." Mims finished his fizzy drink and set it down. "You're gonna need stations, defenses, plus all the equipment to set up on the planet itself. That shit's expensive."

 

"And ships," added Yvian. She sighed. "I miss the Wandering Lady."

 

"Maybe you can buy a new one," the Captain suggested. "With all the money you don't have."

 

"Shut up." She took a sip of her own drink and muttered, "I'm only gonna make ten percent anyway."

 

Mims stared at her for a moment. He turned to Lissa. "You didn't tell her?"

 

Her sister grinned. "It's funnier when she doesn't know."

 

"Yvian," his lips squirmed as he suppressed a smile. "The Privateer Apprenticeship Program, it's..." He covered his mouth before continuing. "I mean, it's a real program, but it's mostly just used for older pilots to take advantage of the young and inexperienced. All you really need to become a privateer is a background check and a twenty thousand credit fee. You can do it off your wrist console."

 

"What?" Yvian processed that for a moment, then glowered. "Why didn't you tell me?"

 

"Why didn't you check?" the Captain countered. "Your sister did."

 

"Because I trusted you," she upgraded her glower to a glare.

 

"And that's the lesson," the human stifled his grin to regard her with serious eyes. "You're not supposed to trust. You're supposed to check."

 

Yvian and Lissa went back to the water. Mims got a starstruck krog to bring him a lounge chair and a big canopy for shade and took a nap on the beach. After splashing around and swimming for a few hours, Yvian noticed he was awake again. He was hunched forward in his chair, face in his hands. His shoulders shook.

 

Lissa caught the direction of Yvian's gaze. Her eyes softened, and she made for the shore. Yvian moved to follow, but her sister waved her back. So Yvian watched, bobbing in the water. Lissa reached the Captain and put a hand on his shoulder. He threw his arms around the pixen, weeping. Several minutes later, she took his hand and led him back into the resort.

 

Yvian kept swimming. She liked swimming. She was good at it. Rescue drones only had to save her from drowining three or four times. The Homestar was low on the horizon when she finally left the water. Only then did she notice something was wrong. Her skin. It burned.

 

She looked down at herself. Her usually light blue skin had darkened, turned purple. Radiation. Solar radiation had burned her. It hurt. It itched. Yvian shuffled into the resort. A male krog in a serving uniform was waiting for her.

 

He looked her up and down, eyes wide. "Hero Blockhead! Starburned. Come! Medpod. We fix."

 

The infirmary's Venturetech medpod healed Yvian in a matter of minutes. The startstuck krog led her to a dining area. Mims and Lissa still hadn't emerged from their room. Yvian decided not to intrude on their privacy. She had a nice meal and headed to her room. She had some Space Captain to catch up on.

 

Yvian's suite was on the other end of the resort from Lissa's. She'd wondered why at first, but had quickly deduced that the rooms weren't soundproofed and some distance was probably a good thing. She pushed upon the door to her room. There was someone else inside.

 

That someone was a pixen. She was short. Long pink hair. Lavender eyes. She was wearing traditional pixen attire, showing smooth skin and some very nice curves. Best of all, she had a cart, and the cart was stacked with cases of beer.

 

The pixen glanced at Yvian's chest, then flicked her eyes up to her face. She quailed. "Oh! Um.. I'm sorry. I was just... I was told to..." She stared at the floor, terrified. "I'm sorry. I'll go..." She started to move.

 

"Wait." The pixen froze at the word. Yvian didn't know why the girl was so scared, but she made her voice as gentle as she could. "What's your name?"

 

The pixen shuffled a little, still staring at the floor. "Myna."

 

"Myna..." Yvian prompted.

 

"Just... just Myna." Shame clouded the woman's features. "I'm motherless." Her gaze flicked up at Yvian, than back down to the floor. "All of us are."

 

Yvian smiled. This place might be perfect after all.