Homestar Saga

"We're close." Mims confirmed on his wrist console. "Put your helmet on."

 

Yvian looked up from the map on her own console. The Militia Station's conversion to a shuttle port had necessitated a large increase in commercial space and activity. Most of the stores and leisure activities had been placed near the shuttle bays, but the mod parlors and drug dispensaries were relegated to a different section near the med bays.

 

"Helmet?" she asked. "You think we're headed into a fight?" Yvian absentmindedly reached for where her holster had been. Station Security did not allow firearms of any kind, and the absence of her sidearm was... uncomfortable. Odd, that. She'd never bothered with it in actual combat, usually relying on more powerful or specialized weaponry, and she was hardly helpless in her GR17 voidarmor. Maybe it was just that she'd been carrying it for so long?

 

"No," said the Captain. "I just want you to look scary."

 

Yvian frowned. "You don't think I can look scary?"

 

"Not without the helmet."

 

Yvian stopped walking. The shop next to her was a dispensary, and had a large window displaying illicit substances. "Why not?" She narrowed her eyes at her reflection. It looked scary enough, she thought.

 

Mims looked at her and shrugged. "Because they can see your face."

 

Annoyance flashed through her, but Yvian decided to make sure she was right before she actually got angry. She turned to look Mims in his mirrored visor. "Is this because I'm pixen?"

 

"No." The Captain reconsidered. "Well, partly, I guess. Intimidation is about controlling people's perception, and stereotypes have a role to play."

 

"And when people think pixen..." she prompted. Yep. Definitely annoyed.

 

"They think adult entertainment. Not violent enforcer." The Captain's head tilted as he thought for a second. "The target's going to know you're pixen, anyway, but knowing something and seeing it are different things."

 

"I see," said Yvian. She had the right to be annoyed, but Mims did have a point. "I can't argue that, I guess." She pulled her helmet from its place on her belt.

 

"The bigger problem is your face," Mims continued.

 

"My face?" She glowered at him, then turned to look in the window again. "What's wrong with my face?"

 

"Nothing." Mims shrugged. "That's the problem."

 

Further annoyed, she eyed him askance. He continued a little more gently. "Yvian. You are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen."

 

Her mouth fell open. "Uh, What?"

 

"It ruins the fear factor," he elaborated. "Distractingly sexy is not the effect we're looking for."

 

She went back to glowering. "I'm going to tell Lissa you said that."

 

"Threatening to tattle?" She could hear his smirk. "I'm shaking in my boots."

 

Yvian glared harder at him as she uncompacted the helmet. She put it on and looked at herself. The oddly curved headgear gave her a lean, predatory look. The mirrored visor hid her features, and the darkness of the material seamlessly blended with the rest of the GR17. Her voidarmor was formfitting. She'd noted before how it emphasized and drew attention to her curves, but now it also showcased the muscle that covered her frame. She looked cold, alien. Dangerous.

 

Mims was right. The motherless son...

 

Mims took off his helmet. The krog inside the shop looked up and gasped. Yvian looked around and saw most of the crowded corridor staring. Scattered muttering of "Human?" and "Mimsey-cake" could be heard.

 

"If helmets are so good, why are you taking yours off?"

 

"Stereotypes." Mims gave her a small smile. "Everyone's scared of humans."

 

A few minutes later they entered a mod parlor. The sign above the door read "DOC FEELGOOD'S" Inside they found a waiting area, and a krog with a robotic arm.

 

"Welcome to Feelgood's," said the krog. "I be Feelgood. What you need?"

 

"I need a translator," said the human. "I've got the Terran version, but it doesn't have any of the krog written languages."

 

"You can't read?" Feelgood laughed.

 

"I can't read krog," Mims clarified, annoyed. "Can you fix it or not?"

 

"I fix, I fix," Feelgood waved a hand, still laughing. "Famous Mimsey-cake. Can't read!"

 

The Captain didn't bother asking how the krog knew who he was. "How long will it take?" He checked his wrist console. "I've got a shuttle to catch in five hours."

 

"Five hours? Plenty time," Feelgood assured him. "Be done in three." He gestured to a chair. "Pixen sit there. Wait."

 

"This is Yvian," Mims introduced her. "Her job is to kill you if I don't come out. Or if I come out with the wrong implant. I've encouraged her to be... creative."

 

Yvian had put a lot of thought into how she'd threaten the doctor. In the end she'd settled for simplicity. She said nothing at all. Doc Feelgood gave her a considering look. She turned slowly, moving just her head, until he could see his reflection in her mirrored visor. She met his gaze silently, cold as the void. Or at least that's what she hoped.

 

To her immense disappointment, the krog did not quail. Instead he gave an approving grunt. "As expected of Mimsey-cake. But not worry. Doc Feelgood not hurt. Mimsey-cake saved Krog Prime. Feelgood give discount! Come!" He led the human through a door, leaving Yvian alone in the waiting area.

 

Yvian debated sitting down. It would be more comfortable, but it didn't seem like something a good bodyguard would do. On the other hand, three hours was a long time to just stand there in one place. She'd only been doing it for a minute and she already wanted to fidget. Or at least shift around. Yvian decided to compromise. She'd stand there, looking as cold and scary as she could manage, with a minimum of moving around. But she'd be listening to an audiobook while she did it. Her helmet could play it for her without anybody else being able to hear.

 

Even with the audiobook, Yvian started to get impatient at around the two hour mark. The only thing that kept her from constantly checking her wrist console was the fact that she could see the time in her HUD. Her patience was rewarded when Doc Feelgood came out to see her.

 

"No kill," chuckled Feelgood. "Integration still in process. Can sit if you want." He gestured at one of the chairs again. Yvian looked at him. His smile died. He turned away. "Scary ass pixen," he muttered. "No wonder human like."

 

Yvian was glad he turned away. Her body language might have given away her grin.

 

Three hours, six minutes, and twenty three seconds later, the Captain finally walked out of the operating room. Doc Feelgood followed, scribbling on a piece of paper. He handed it to Mims. "What this say?"

 

"It says," the Captain gave the krog an annoyed look. "Mimsey-cake can read. Not stupid no more."

 

The krog laughed.

 

"I've killed people for smaller insults."

 

The krog continued to laugh..

 

Yvian gave him a look. "Shut it."

 

The krog stopped laughing.

 

Lissa walked in while Mims paid the doctor. Danil Starlancer was still with her. Apparently, he would be taking the same shuttle they were. Mims seemed annoyed at his continued presence, but he let it pass.

 

"And the other implants still there?" he asked Feelgood.

 

"Still there. Spliced." The krog seemed pleased with himself. "Old implant primary. New implant take over when old fail. Feelgood is best modder. Tell friends."

 

"Will do," said the Captain, passing over a credit chit. "I'll tell them you're the one to make 'em feel alright."

 

"I like that!" Feelgood grinned. "Maybe new catchphrase."

 

"You're welcome to it." Mims walked over to join the others.

 

"Taken care of?" asked Lissa.

 

"We're good to go," Mims confirmed. "Let's head for the shuttle bay."

 

"Sounds good." Lissa gave Yvian a quizzical glance. "What's with the helmet?"

 

Yvian shrugged. "It's cause Mims thinks I'm sexy."

 

Lissa's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Oh?"