Hollywood What If

[Shout out to Sandra Torres, ABDI ALI, and Ole Martin Johnsen!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 19

Napoleon Dynamite had the vibe of the 80s. Even the gadgets people used in the movie were mostly old and outdated. Walkman, big-ass computer, videotapes and so on. 

The movie was released in 2004. In Kazir's opinion, it should have been released before the digital age. 

The movie was great, funny, embarrassing, and had an old-ish vibe. That's why Kazir decided to make it before the 21st century. He was confident that he could change the fate of the film.

'Don't get me wrong, the movie is already great, it's a masterpiece, but I want to make it better. 40 million at the box office is not enough to show the greatness of this movie.'

Napoleon Dynamite saved his life. He was at the bottom of his life when he casually walked into the theater and watched the movie. By the time the movie ended, Kazir realized he was already crying. 

As a person who lost almost everything, he found Napoleon's silly dances. His dances made him laugh and cry at the same time. 

For the same reason, he bought the DVD of Napoleon Dynamite. Whenever he felt down, he would follow Napoleon's dance. 

Kazir was confident that he already knew every dance move Napoleon did in the movie. 

"Is this really you? I thought you couldn't dance?"

Renner and Harold stared at Kazir in confusion and shock. 

They rented a VCR and watched the dance tutorial Kazir had made... He was killing the dance floor. 

"These are the dance moves you gave Ed?"

"Yes, before we arrived here in Idaho, I already gave this videotape to Ed. He promised to memorize every step."

"Wow... You can actually dance."

Renner and Harold stared at Kazir as if he were a stranger. 

Kazir just shrugged. They didn't know that these dance moves were his go-to stress relievers. He always let loose when he started dancing.

'Luckily, most of the songs were available and I can use most of the original songs. '

"Okay, let's start shooting today."

Kazir had already made a schedule for today and they would try their best to stick to it. So far they had been in Idaho for four days. 

He was holding a stack of storyboard to make sure that he would never lose the rhythm of the film. 

They had shot dozens of scenes, but this was a 90+ minute movie. Obviously, three days were not enough. According to his calculations, they would have to stay here for at least a month to shoot all the scenes. If that was not enough, they would have to stay for a couple of more weeks. 

"I feel like you're on drugs, Kazir." Harold tapped him on the shoulder. 

"Huh? What do you mean? Dude, I'm clean, I stopped hitting the bong after I married Cassandra."

"That's not what I mean," Harold chuckled. 

"Renner and I have noticed that you shoot faster than last time. Remember how long it used to take to shoot a single scene in a day? But now three or four scenes are no problem."

"That's right. It's almost like you know the scenes you want to shoot. You didn't experiment at all. You just decided what angle to shoot, what cuts to make, and what transitions to use. I feel like the movie is already created in your head and you're just following the shooting process."

 Renner touched his chin and said something incredible. 

"..."

Kazir was shaken when he heard what he said. Renner was not wrong, he was right. That's exactly what Kazir did. 

'I just changed a few scenes to make it funnier. But overall, I strictly followed the plot and the exact shooting of Napoleon Dynamite.'

"Hehe, of course I know that's impossible. What are you? A man from the future."

Both Renner and Harold started to laugh. 

"This is no time to joke. Let's start shooting, I think most of the actors are already done."

"Okay."

The scene they were about to shoot was the first scene in which Napoleon first appeared. 

"Camera?"

"Ready!"

They didn't have any lights because they were shooting outside. It was hot right now because the sun was shining so well. 

Kazir nodded to the man holding the clapperboard. 

"Scene 2, take 4. Lights, camera, action!"

A few seconds pause. The bus appeared and Napoleon entered the bus. Simple as that. 

"Cut! Get ready for the next scene!"

Kazir rented this school bus just for today. So he wanted to finish each bus scene as quickly as possible. 

In the next scene, Napoleon sat in the back seat next to a boy. 

Ed Helms sat with awkward expression, staring weakly ahead. He looked sleepy. 

"What do you want to do today, Napoleon?" The boy said. 

"Whatever I feel like doing, gosh!" Napoleon said and turned to his side. He looked out the window and then at the driver. 

When he noticed that the driver was not looking, he opened the window and wrapped the string around a toy. He then proceeded to throw the toy outside while holding the string, and the toy was dragged along.

"Cut! Ten-minute break, then on to the next location."

When they heard the director's approval, Ed Helms sighed and wiped his forehead. It was so hot he was sweating. 

"Here," one of the crew members handed him some cold mineral water. 

"Thank you." 

Ed Helms drank the water thirstily.

"You're lucky this time." 

"Huh?"

"You're lucky the director shoots fast."

"Isn't he like that before?" Ed Helms asked. 

"No, director Kazir usually adjusts the camera to see the best angle. He will also use different shooting styles to see the best result. However, he didn't use it this time. It seems that Director Kazir was seriously thinking about the shooting plan."

"I see." Ed Helms nodded. To be honest, he was grateful that Kazir had given him a chance. 

The first day he found out that Kazir had hired him, Ed Helms could not sleep because his mind was too active.

Kazir approached Ed and examined his mentality. 

"What about your dance moves? Have you memorized them?"

"Yes. I even practiced last night," he nodded. 

"That's good to hear, but you need a good night's sleep. We don't want you to get sick."

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