Hollywood What If

[Shout out to Cameron and Roof Humper!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 18

Ed Helms. The man in front of him was a famous comedian actor, his face was recognizable. 

But right now, Ed Helms was still a young actor and didn't have much experience. He looked nervous and moved awkwardly... Which complemented the role of Napoleon. 

Kazir grinned slightly. But first, Kazir called her makeup artist, Jane. 

"Jane, can you make his hair curly blonde and bobbed?" 

"Give me a few minutes, I'll adjust his look."

Ed Helms was confused. But he agreed to let the woman touch his hair. Since the director was interested to see his appearance in curly hair. Ed Helms understood that he had passed the first stage of the audition. 

When Kazir saw Ed Helms' appearance, it looked exactly like what he had written down. 

But something was missing. 

"Wear those glasses."

Ed Helms with glasses, curly bob hair... Immaculate. This is Napoleon Dynamite. 

As for the acting, Kazir didn't need great acting. All the time he watched Napoleon Dynamite in his past life, he could tell that most of the actors were amateurs. They could not act at all. That was exactly what Kazir needed. 

"I just need one thing, Ed, just say 'idiot' like you're eating your words."

"Just give me a few seconds, Director."

"Hm." Kazir nodded. 

"Idiot!"

"Then say it with anger this time, but you still have to eat your words."

"Idiot!"

"Say freaking idiot."

"Freaking idiot!"

He looked like an idiot right now. 

Ed Helms was sweating. He felt like the director was making fun of him. There was no real script, he just kept saying idiot. Why?

'Napoleon said 'idiot' more than five times in the whole movie.'

Kazir was pleased with Ed's audition. As for his acting ability, Kazir needed an amateur actor. 

"Ed, before we finish this audition. I want to tell you something. You understand that this movie has a small budget and we can't give you a big salary."

"Yes, I understand very well."

Ed Helms became nervous. Seeing the way the director talked, he could understand that his chances of getting the role of the protagonist were high. At least the director was interested in casting him.

"I will accept any amount as long as I get the male lead." He was serious. Deadly serious. 

It was already a blessing for a small actor like him to get the male lead, of course Ed Helms had to take it. 

"That's good to hear. Do you have an agent?"

"Yes, director. I signed with William Morris Agency."

Hearing that particular talent agency made Kazir remember something, but he didn't care. 

"Can you dance?"

"A little..." Ed Helms tilted his head. 

"Contact your agent, but tell him I will never accept a big salary."

"Yes! I will, director!"

Ed Helms delightedly left the audition room and immediately contacted his agent. 

"Are you sure you want to hire him? We haven't seen the other actors yet?" Renner asked Kazir after Ed Helms had left. 

"Don't worry. He fits the part."

As a person from the future, Kazir knew that Ed Helms had taken on many roles in comedy films. That fact alone showed that Ed Helms had talent in that area. 

'I would rather cast an amateur comedian than an unknown actor. At least I know that Ed Helms has a bright future.'

They continued to accept actors and actresses to fill the roles. In the end, it took three days to finalize the roles. 

Ed Helms and his agent negotiated and Ed Helms signed a salary of 15 thousand dollars. As for the other actors, they also receive a smaller amount. Of course, the crew would take care of all their needs, such as food and hotel reservations.

"Find a cheap hotel in Idaho. You know we can't spend too much, it's the investor's money".

Actually, his brother's. 

"Don't worry, I will contact the hotels," Renner assured him. 

Kazir and his crew flew to Idaho with the cast to begin shooting. His crew consisted of only 20 people, five of whom were interns making their way to Hollywood. He was actually happy to have free labor.

Since the budget came from his brother, Kazir spent it seriously. 

The location of Idaho...

Kazir and the others didn't have time to appreciate the local scenery. After checking into the hotel, Kazir immediately prepared the cameras and film. 

"This is our opening credits? We are going to write their names on food?"

Renner and Harold asked him just to be sure. 

"That's right, we can call it a day when we're done. While the actors are adjusting, we will film."

Unfortunately, since Ed Helms was the protagonist, he didn't have time to rest. He was the one who put the food on the table, his hands to be exact.

Harold was in charge of props, so he started preparing the dishes and writing names on them. 

Sandwich, Napoleon put it on the table, check. 

Quesadilla with words written by Mustard, check.

Steak, and so on. 

Those opening credits were memorable. Because, of course, they were food, not subtle subtitles, as in most movies. 

Fortunately for Ed Helms, he didn't have to act the first day. All he did was put food on the table while the camera shot from a high angle, looking down at the subject. 

"Cut! Next dish!"

Except for preparing the dishes and writing the words on them, the process of filming was fast. At least on the first day, they had already shot three minutes of footage. Those three minutes made up the first part of the movie, the opening credits. 

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