Heart of Dorkness

Terror Forty-Four - Templar

“Ah,” I say as I slowly turn around.

There’s a man behind us. He’s not very tall, and he’s not very big. He doesn’t even look all that scary. And yet he’s somehow really freaking intimidating. Maybe it’s the glare, maybe it’s the persistent feeling that I’m being watched...

Yeah, it’s definitely that.

The man’s a Vigilance mage; there’s no doubt about it. His magic is wrapped around him like a layer of eyes, watchful and wary.

I’m beginning to think sneaking into the academy of the God of Heroes, who also happens to be the God of Vigilance, was maybe not my greatest idea.

“We’re here to, ah, ask if the people here are hungry,” Esme says. “Food’s almost served?”

One of the man’s bushy white eyebrows perk. “Really now,” he says. He’s not even bothering to make it sound like a question!

“W-what my friend means”—I need to salvage this—“is that we’re here, uh, looking for some books for, um, an assignment.”

“Yes, of course,” he said. “Three acolytes.” He glances down at our robes. “Of three entirely different years and ranks. All working on a single assignment. One that requires they move into the library used by the priests of Héroe. Three female acolytes, no less, in a year where we have, if I recall correctly, only one.”

“Ah,” I say. “We’re here to support our older brothers?”

“No,” he says.

“No?”

“No, that story isn’t nearly entertaining enough. Try another.”

I feel Felix leaning closer to my side. “What’s that mean?” she whispers.

“It means that I want to have a more interesting tale to tell my fellow templars when we share a drink tonight. Your story isn’t far-fetched enough for me to get a free drink out of it.”

“So if we tell you a story that’s wild enough... you’ll let us go?” I ask.

“Oh no, there’s no chance of that. I do intend to see the three of you belted for this. I just hoped for a better story to tell.”

I can hear Esme gulp. “Templars can tell when people lie,” she says.

“We can,” the man confirms.

“I thought that was a lie,” I say. “You know, make people think that they can tell the truth from lies so no one bothers lying to them.”

He sniffs. “Ridiculous.”

“M-maybe we should tell the truth?” Esme squeaks.

“Sure,” I say. I have a plan!

“Do go on,” the templar says. He’s not wearing any armour. Just a tunic belted to his waist, the same white material as the sack-like robes we have on. It looks like it might be something worn under armour, I guess. The main point is, he’s not equipped for a fight.

“So, my name is Valeria. I’m a princess.”

He blinks.

He’s believing it! “I’m here to steal some of the books that the church stole from others. Like, a whole heap of them.”

“Three children plan on stealing from the academy... of the God of Heroes?” he asks.

“Well, yes. I have a dragon.”

“What.”

“My name’s Valeria Malvada. My mom’s Luciana Malvada, the Dark Goddess. You know, the person you bunch don’t like.”

The templar takes a small step back, and that gives me the time to pull one of my butterbutts out from within my robes. I present it to him.

“See! A monster.”

My little friend darts ahead with a malevolent hiss and jumps towards the templar’s face.

He’s a trained warrior. There’s no way such a small monster will stop him, and the way he swipes it out of the air proves as much. It does distract him for a couple of precious seconds.

“Felix, shove him!” I call out while I tug my hood back.

Felix laughs, and a heavy gust of wind almost knocks me down as it slams ahead of Felix and rams the templar while he’s already bending back and away from my now-dead butterbutt.

I step over to Esme, the final cog in my very carefully laid last-second plan. She’s staring at me, eyes as wide as saucers and hair a bushy mess. I can see the sparks flickering around. “Yo-you’re--”

“I am,” I say. “And I really need you to zap him. Now!”

Esme turns towards the templar who is, predictably, starting to stand up. He looks a bit cross with us, and I can see the skin over his fists hardening as if it’s turning to stone.

Esme saves the day.

The crack-bang of her Surprise magic unleashing all at once is like a gunshot going off right next to my head, and even somewhat prepared for it I reel back.

The templar fares a lot worse. All I have to deal with is some ringing in my ears. He got a jolt of electric-blue magic right to the chest. His eyes roll up and he crashes to the floor with a heavy thump I can barely hear.

“Well done!” I say. It’s always nice to praise a friend who has done good work.

Esme doesn’t seem to appreciate it. She turns to me, then points a finger towards my face. “You... you lied to me!”

“Huh?”

Esme drops her hand with a swipe, and I can’t help but stare at the way her lips are wobbling. “You never told me you were... that.”

I cross my arms. We don’t have time for this. “I never lied to you,” I say.

“Yes, you did!”

“No, I didn’t,” I say. “I never said I was Mom’s daughter, but that shouldn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters!” Esme says. “Are you even a human?”

“Hey!” Felix says. “Miss Val’s nice.”

“You knew!” Esme says. Now she’s being angry at Felix. “You knew the whole time, I bet.”

“That Miss Valeria’s who she is?” Felix asks. “Yeah, I knew. She didn’t have to tell you about it. It’s her business.”

“It’s everyone’s business!” Esme says. “She... you brought monsters into the city!”

“I control them. They won’t hurt anyone I don’t want them to.”

“That’s worse!” Esme says.

“No, it’s not. My little friends are nice unless I tell them not to be. They’re like... trained dogs.”

“Monsters aren’t like dogs.”

“Sure they are,” I say.

Esme’s face goes very red. “They are not!”

“Yes, they are. They’re nice and cuddly, they can be well-behaved and--”

“Dogs didn’t kill my parents!” Esme shouts.

I don’t know what to say. Felix stays quiet too, and Esme just stands there, breathing hard, eyes staring at the floor.

I want to reach out to her, but I don’t know what to say. “I’m sorry” would sound so... stupid. What would I say to the person I thought was kind of responsible for... for doing that to Mom?

I think I’d be a lot more violent than Esme is being right now.

“I...”

“Shut up, Valeria,” Esme says. She sniffs, and it’s an ugly gurgly noise, but I can’t blame her. She wipes her nose and eyes across the sleeve of her robes. “We need to take care of him. Someone could walk in, and we made a lot of noise.”

“Yeah,” Felix says. “We can hide him in a closet, I think, with a gag in his mouth and his hands tied, but we’ll have to be fast. People don’t stay knocked out for long.”

“I used a spell for that. We should have some time,” Esme says.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter.

Esme glares at me. “I thought you were my friend.”

I swallow. “You are... I am.”

“I... I don’t believe you.”

I don’t know what to do for a moment, then it’s my turn to glare. “Look, I didn’t choose to be born a monster, alright? But I’m happy I am one, because it means I have a great Mom and... and stuff. I didn’t lie to you but... yeah, I should have told you. And... I don’t know the monsters that did... that to your parents, but if you want, we can find them and you can do whatever you want to them, okay?”

“I don’t want revenge,” Esme says.

“I... okay, that’s okay.”

***