Heart of Dorkness

Monster Ten - Class

I leaned forwards onto my desk, eyes blinking the slow blink of someone right on the edge of sleep, but who was too focused to give in to actual sleep. I’d sleep later. There was reading to do now.

I had a book before me, as was usual. It was an ancient text written by the Dark Goddess herself. Once, a long time ago, the Dark Goddess had had more human followers, and she had penned a few guides for them to use the more complex parts of her own element.

I didn’t know what happened to the followers, but the books remained, and while the wording in them was dated, there was a lot to be learned from studying them. No one knew Dark magic like the god of Darkness herself.

I blinked a few times to clear the blurriness in my vision. My lips moved, and I leaned closer to the page. So far, things had only made tangential sense. There was the first layer, which was, for the most part, common sense, but past that things grew more complex, and I had a hard time connecting the dots.

But this, this was like having all the puzzle pieces, then catching a glimpse of the puzzle box. Suddenly all the little bits that I had all came together. “I...” I started. It was there, a moment of absolute comprehension, like finding the word that had been on the tip of my tongue at long last.

[Congratulations!]

[Through your actions, you have unlocked the potential to obtain the following classes:

Harbinger of the Dark Tide

Do you wish to learn more about these classes or accept them into yourself?]

I had to stare at the prompt for a good long while before the words truly registered.

Then I was out of my chair and screaming. “Mom!”

My voice echoed out into the corridor as I stumbled out of my (very clean and tidy) bedroom. It bounced up along the corridor, followed by the rapid pitter-patter of my footsteps as I rushed towards the far end of the castle.

“Mom! Mom! Mom!” I shouted louder and louder as I sprinted for all I was worth.

I reached a staircase and my screams were cut off as I panted my way up the steps, taking them two at a time. It didn’t take long to reach the top, not with the amount of manic energy I had at my disposal.

At the top, I rushed down another corridor, then towards the room at the end. Two monsters guarded a large set of reinforced doors, each made of the wood of some extinct tree and covered in delicate carvings of monstrous creatures bowing to a great, three-headed dragon.

I rammed through the door and stumbled into the room beyond.

Luciana was seated at a small desk, night gown draped casually over her form like a wispy afterthought. She looked up from the text she was reading, one eyebrow raised.

I was just glad mom wasn’t sleeping. The Dark Goddess only slept when she was in a particular mood. It was, the goddess said, a good way to rest and meditate.

“Mom!” I shouted as I scampered across the room.

Luciana stood up with easy grace, then stumbled back with less easy grace as I ran into her at full speed.

“Mom!”

“Yes?” the goddess asked.

I took a deep, deep breath. “I got a new class!”

The goddess stared at me for a moment. “And you thought that this was important enough to barge into my room at this sort of hour to inform me?” she asked.

“Yes!” I said as she unhugged her. “It’s a super cool class! I think it might be the one!”

The Dark Goddess rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m certain it is. Well, go on.” Luciana sat back down on her office seat, one leg folding above the other.

I looked around, and failing to find any place to sit, jumped backwards onto the god’s bed and sat there, legs kicking out with poorly restrained energy. “So! The class is called Harbinger of the Dark Tide!”

Luciana nodded slowly. “That seems interesting. Harbinger classes are rather uncommon. To be the one to announce something, or to be the forerunner. That would mean either being at the front, or near enough to it.”

I bounced on the spot. “That’s not the cool part!” I said. It wasn’t a whine, but it wasn’t far from one. “The Dark Tide bit!”

“Yes yes, the Dark Tide. Unfortunately there is no dark tide, not as far as I know. I do believe some of my old adversaries who had a more poetic outlook on matters used the term to describe the approach of a monster hoard, or at least a larger migration.”

“If I become the Harbinger of a Dark Tide, doesn’t that mean that I’ll get to lead one?”

“Perhaps. The name of a class is hardly prophetic. You could become the harbinger of a dark tide, then utterly fail to do anything of the sort if you bounce off that bed and break your neck on my nightstand.”

I pouted. “But it sounds like such a useful class!”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” Luciana said. “A link to not only a specific kind of magic, but also the monsters of this land. Harbinger could mean that you might gain access to skills and abilities that haven’t yet been made available.”

“Isn’t that strong?” I asked.

The Dark Goddess hummed. “Just because something is unknown does not mean it is powerful. Though, yes, it’s likely the class will be a stronger one. Time will tell, I suppose.”

“Should I take it, then?”

Luciana eyed me for a long moment. “I wouldn’t advise against it. Which only means the choice is entirely within your own hands. It’s possible a more powerful, unique class will appear to you, but then that may yet take some time.”

“Then I’ll do it!” I said.

The Dark Goddess nodded. “Very well then, accept away.”

I wiggled myself back, heedless of what I was doing to the goddess’s carefully laid bedspread, and focused.

[Congratulations!]

[Through your actions you have unlocked the potential to obtain the following classes:

Harbinger of the Dark Tide

Do you wish to learn more about these classes or accept them into yourself?]

“Yes!”

Luciana made her little laughing sound and I looked her way, confused.

“You don’t answer any of the system’s prompts aloud,” Luciana explained. “It’s mental, first and foremost.”

“Oh,” I said. I screwed up my face, bunched up my nose, and concentrated very hard. Then I realized I wasn’t focusing on anything in particular and tried to think “yes.”

[Congratulations!]

[You have unlocked the Harbinger of the Dark Tide Class.]

The Harbinger of the Dark Tide is the one at the fore, maker of monsters and nemesis of Order. The Harbinger raises grand armies of monstrous servants to accomplish tasks both mundane and cruel. Clothe yourself in the destruction of your foes, and strive ever forwards as the forerunner of the endless Dark.

“Whoa,” I said as she read the prompt. I quickly relayed what I read to Luciana. “What do you think?”

The goddess sighed. “Terribly dramatic and needlessly convoluted. Every class receives such overblown descriptions.”

“Oh,” I said, shoulders hunching a little. “I thought it sounded nice.”

“Yes, well, I’m certain you’ll... live up to the hype, as it were,” The Dark Goddess said. “I look forward to seeing you become a... fearsome forerunner of the endless dark.”

My spirits were instantly lifted. “Yeah!”

“What were you doing before all of this excitement?” Luciana asked.

“I was studying. One of... uh,” I paused.

“One of?” Luciana asked.

I felt blood rushing to her cheeks. “Nothing. Just a plain, normal book.”

“Yes, certainly not one of the not-so-plain books I explicitly forbid you from reading?”

“‘Course not,” I said. “I should go back to my room now.”

“Yes, you should,” Luciana said. “You’re still in your day clothes. And at this rate you won’t be waking up before noon tomorrow. Such an undisciplined child. Perhaps instead of being excited about your new class, you should forerun back to bed?”

I stared.

The Dark Goddess stared back.

“Was that a pun?”

“Go to bed, Valeria.”

“Yes, Mom!”

“And stop calling me that!”

“Night, Mom!” I called back. I had to stifle a yawn next. I really was tired. “Love you lots!”

“... Yes, well, go to sleep.”

***