Futile Love

Chapter 51: Chapter 51

When Kyosul was embarrassed to hear that, Heyjin nodded casually and said again, “I think Prince Binsung is so cute.”

“Cute about what?”

“Well, I just feel he’s so cute when he’s absorbed in something. He is always doing his best when he is into something. When he is focused on something, he usually pulls his lower lip toward his chin. It’s all so cute.” A habit like that could only be noticed by someone who watched keenly. “He is always trying to do something for me, but sometimes, he doesn’t succeed. I feel he is cute when he shows satisfaction after he finishes something, but even when he looks sullen and disappointed at his failure, he is still cute.”

“It looks like you think everything he does is cute, right?”

“Yes, that’s correct,” said Heyjin, nodding.

Kyosul was embarrassed to hear her praising her husband without reserve, but at the same time, she felt envious that Heyjin could accept every aspect of Prince Binsung with love. How difficult was it to accept anyone’s every word and act with love!

Is this what they call blind love?

While Kyosul was pondering over that, Heyjin changed the topic and asked her, “It looks like Prince Ruhae won’t come today.”

“I know he is busy all the time.”

Kyosul felt her heart sank.

Did she already notice it? Did she sense my affection for him? Probably not. Perhaps she said so because he usually comes every day.

As if it was not a big deal, Kyosul tried not to overreact, “As they have to assist the Emperor, aren’t all the princes of the four palaces busy all the time?”

“I think so, Your Highness,” Heyjin seconded in a monotonous tone.

When she talked about her husband, Heyjin’s eyes sparkled, her voice chimed, and she had a cheerful expression on her face. Now, she shut her mouth shut and her eyes lowered.

Looking at Kyosul, Heyjin asked, “I wonder if you ever feel uncomfortable with Prince Ruhae here.”

Heyjin’s unexpected statement astonished her to the point that Kyosul waved her hand.

Then, Kyosul realized she overreacted. On the other hand, she even felt embarrassed for fear Heyjin might think she was not uncomfortable at all.

Ruhae’s sharp reminder came to her mind all of a sudden.

Prince Heyjin is pretty quick-witted.

Kyosul was nervous she might have smelled a rat.

Did she sense my relationship with him?

Kyosul felt heavy and confused with all kinds of complicated thoughts. On such occasions Kyosul came to feel once again how difficult her relationship with him was at the moment.

I think I have to stay on edge like this all the time.

At that moment Heyjin said, “Your tea is getting cold. Please drink it.”

Kyosul lifted the teacup awkwardly.

After having tea time with Heyjin, she left early. While she was leaving the North Palace, she heard a familiar voice calling her from behind.

“You’re leaving early today.”

When she turned, it was Ruhae, as she expected.

“I thought you wouldn’t come today.”

“Well, I was late as I had to take care of lots of state affairs.”

“Fortunately, my visit today didn’t overlap yours, so I think I don’t have to feel sorry for Heyjin’s baby as I’m not disturbing your prenatal education today.”

“You can disturb me.” Kyosul was surprised by his unexpected reaction, opening her eyes wide. “I am satisfied with seeing you even briefly like this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I just feel happy to see you often like this.”

Having said that, he stared at her face with a calm smile as his words echoed in her ears. She resisted his romantic approach deep inside.

She lightly scolded him politely, “You reminded me that I should be careful because there are many eyes in this palace who are watching us, but you seem to speak to me as if you are not worried at all.”

“Because there is nobody around us now.”

“Nonsense!”

“I admit that there are many, many eyes in this palace watching us, but as long as there is nobody around us, we can do whatever we want. This palace is so large that even if stand on my hands right now, there is nobody who can sneer at me or who can spread rumors about me.”

“Standing on your hands?”

He awkwardly replied, “Well, I’m really clumsy at standing on my hands.”

“I can’t believe that!” she said, suddenly bursting into laughter at his silly joke.

“Did you laugh?”

“Why?” she asked, looking at him with round eyes.

“Oh, you really laughed brightly, Your Highness!” he said, who also made a hearty laugh.

“Let me leave first,” she said, trying to leave.

“Wait a minute!”

He approached her.

Again?

Thinking of what he did to her the other day, she freaked out and closed her eyes instantly. She vividly remembered he almost touched her in front of the wall of the North Palace.

“If you expect a lot like that, I would like to meet to give it to you.”

“Expect what?”

Kyosul opened her eyes with surprise. He was standing before her quietly. This time he didn’t get closer to her, nor hug her. Instead, he was offering her a thick letter.

“This is a letter that contains my feelings and memories of you from the moment I met you here in the Mok Kingdom. You asked me why I didn’t tell you about my real identity or why I deceived you, right? You’ll find the answer here in this letter. You will find all the details about my feelings about you that you might not have noticed at all.”

The letter was quite thick and large. It seemed like several pieces of drawing paper were folded together.

She held out her hand to take it. She reached for it with just her fingertips as if it was a dangerous item. She felt as if everything would change if she took it. She was overwhelmed by the uneasiness that she might not be able to avoid him anymore, but she couldn’t just stop her growing affection for him because of fear.

Ruhae spent a full night writing the letter full of his feelings. He used to carry it secretly in his sleeves whenever he visited the North Palace, and finally today, he decided to give it to her in person.

When she took the letter, Kyosul narrowed her brows and looked at it with a serious expression. He was stared at her quietly, Even her serious look is cute to me. I’m in love with her.

When he thought like that, he burst into laughter before he knew.

“Don’t you want my letter?”

“No, that’s not what I mean,” Kyosul hastily answered then pursed up her lips.

She seemed to be embarrassed and reproached herself for having answered carelessly.

“If you really want to give it to me, I think I’m going to receive it in consideration of your sincerity,”

He took pains to hold back laughter at that.

She bit her lip. After hesitating for a while, she finally touched his letter with her fingertips.

At that moment, he felt a sharp sensation that quickly spread through his whole body. Is this what one felt when quenching one’s thirst in the thick of the saltry summer? Or is this what one feels when one warms up his frozen body on a heated floor during the winter? He had strange and mixed feelings of pleasure and relief.

Though she initially felt it hard to touch the letter, she took it quickly once she grabbed it. Apparently, she wanted to avoid others’ eyes.

“You should read all of it very slowly,” said he eagerly, with a smile

She blushed the moment she received it. He wanted to make fun of her when she blushed, but gave up as she seemed to be tense.

If he went overboard by mistake, it seemed that she wouldn’t be able to handle the situation any longer. He felt her testy reaction was cute, so he wanted to play around with her a little more.

He wanted to hold her and see her face a little longer. She was still shy and wiggled her mouth like a rabbit.

“Did you write everything you needed to?” she asked unexpectedly.

“What did you say?”

“I just wonder if you wrote down here all you needed to.”

Though he couldn’t understand why she asked, he replied to the best he could.

“Of course. I wrote it slowly and stayed up all night.”

“I think you finally put all the pieces of paper together to write this since you haven’t given me those for a while,” she said, marvelling at the thickness of the letter. And then she gave him a puckish smile.

“Oh, as you are mentioning ‘for a while’, I think I brought it much later than you expected.”

Though he couldn’t figure out her motivation, he answered in a way that seemed to fit her mood. She apparently felt embarrassed at his reply, though.

“Oh no, don’t say that. Why do you say I expected it from you?” she said in a rather stern voice this time while raising her chin slightly.