For the Record

Well, that was mostly painless. I offered, they accepted, and then I dumped all their junk in my dimensional storage since it’s bigger than theirs – except Abaris, but his is full of… I’m not really sure what. Anyway, I played pack mule and ferried all that stuff to my lair, and then they all went furniture shopping.

The only one complaining is Elobahn, to my absolutely genuine and not at all sarcastic surprise. He finally shut up after I agreed to letting him hire a rune crafter to make a special lock for his door that I absolutely, definitely can’t bypass by phasing through the wall it shares with the neighboring room. But, he doesn’t need to know that, and him not knowing that means he shuts up, so it’s better this way.

My paladin, on the other hand, is pulling out all the stops with furniture and decorations and what not. I haven’t really seen any point to stop her, if she wants her room to look fancy or whatever that’s her deal. Plus, doesn’t she have a lot of enni? Like, a lot a lot?

(That shouldn’t surprise you either. She’s old enough and smart enough to have a savings, and she and her party are actively clearing dungeons. That’s worth more than just experience, you know,) Nyx informs me.

Fair enough. It’s not like it costs me anything to live here. Uh, it doesn’t cost anything to live here, right?

(I literally arranged ownership for the entry point with the planar government over a hundred years ago, and I designed and built the runic formation for the attached interstitial space myself. It’s not going anywhere, that was the whole point.)

Good.

Oddly enough, Omorth seems to be going for cuter furnishings than Izahne. At least, if you consider everything having cat and dog and uhhhh what even is that?

(Capybara.)

And, uh, capybara prints on all of them, in matching patterns. Even his bed sheets match. Which, is fine. Why did I expect he’d go simpler? I feel like a barbarian usually goes, I don’t know, rough hewn wood or bare stone or something.

Nyx nods sagely. (Probably inherited the expectation from whoever you used to be, even if you don’t have the memories for it anymore. After a certain amount of time, some bits and pieces of the ego tend to leak into other parts of the soul, so it’s not really that big of a surprise.)

Abaris, Pearl, and Elobahn were less unexpected, considering they just swiped the furniture sets from their dorm rooms. Well whatever, I don’t care as long as nobody is complaining to me about it.

They also all pooled funds and picked out replacement furniture for the living room, more than enough for all the party to sit comfortably.

“It’s for entertaining guests!” Pearl says with a big smile.

I sigh. “Why bother? I’ve never had entertaining guests and I doubt they exist.”

The healer furrows her dainty brow at me. “It’s the host’s job to do the entertaining! And just because you’ve never had good company doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist!”

“Before you think about inviting people here, you might want to work on cleaning up after yourself. We just moved in today and you already have a mountain of dirty laundry in your room,” Omorth teases.

Pearl just laughs and says, “That’s because I just moved it here as is! My room is already the most comfortable and lived in of any of them here, mhm!”

That gets a collective sigh from everyone, including Nyx. They argue for a good while after, but I’m too busy not paying attention to their antics to, uh. To pay attention to their antics.

(Idiot.)

***

Well, they’re cooking again. It turns out that the ventilation system still works. Where does it go? I have no idea. Nyx gave me this whole explanation about a bunch of things that make it work and I lost interest and moved on. She seems to have accepted that this is just our normal now, thankfully.

They’re still using countertop cooking devices since the in-built equipment definitely does not work, considering they’re basically craters, but at least the place smells like a cave or crypt or something instead of old explosions. Anyway, right now it smells like searing meat again, like it does every time they eat.

They also chose a bunch of wood stuff that my paladin tells me is called a dining set. They all sat around it “like civilized people”, whatever that means, and ate their burnt bits of plants and animals. I turned down their offer to join them in favor of lazing around on a large sofa while Philip partakes in his favorite pastime – which is of course, hissing at me from under some piece of furniture, or hissing at me while eating, or quietly hissing at me while half asleep because he’s tired out from hissing at me. Whatever. Nyx keeps saying he’ll come around, but at this point I can’t really say I agree. I just feed him. He seems mostly indifferent toward the others, although he seems to actually like Omorth, to the eldra’s delight.

Once they finish eating and cleaning up after themselves, they join me in the living space and start chatting about uninteresting topics like what their coursework is like, or something funny a teacher said, or about how their party tactics should change since I’m with them now. They were speculating about what my Class is going to grow into, but I don’t really see the point in speculating. I’ll just see what unlocks when it unlocks. So far I’m at least sure that using vitality instead of mana for spellcasting has very different results.

After a couple hours have passed, they all start heading off to sleep, since humans (and human-likes) need that. Even Philip wanders off, apparently deciding to sleep in Omorth’s room. Eventually the only ones left in the living area are me and my paladin – And once again, she looks like she desperately wants to say something.

“You know, you should just talk if you want to say something,” I say.

“W-well…”

“Well what?”

Oh, she’s blushing again.

“What do you th-think of how I decorated our room?” she finally says.

“Our?”

(Married people tend to share sleeping spaces,) my Assistant informs me.

“Ah, our. I see,” I quickly catch myself. “It’s, fine. I don’t really care.”

“O-oh. I see.”

(Now tell her it’s nice and you can tell she put thought into it.)

What? Why should I –

(Because it’s something married people do.)

Fine.

“It’s nice though, and I can tell you put thought into it,” I say.

She blushes harder and looks down at her lap while gripping her casual trousers. “I’m so glad,” she whispers. “A-anyway, we should go soon too, right?”

“Go where?” I ask.

Izahne looks surprised for a moment, before saying, “To bed? It’s late, and we have more lectures tomorrow.”

I give her a flat look and say, “I literally do not sleep.”

Her expression starts collapsing like a house of cards.

(Just do it, idiot. This is part of the process,) Nyx insists.

I sigh again. “Fine. Let’s go then.”

Anyway, we’re sharing a bed now. I’m laying on my back in a way I think humans would probably lay if they needed to sleep, modeled after watching Boz and my other henchpets collapsed into the cushioned surfaces at that guild rental room. I wonder what they’re doing? Not like it really matters. They’re probably dead or something.

Izahne is snuggled up against my side snoring softly, and I can feel the warmth of her breath against my neck. I got bored, so I’ve been moving other furniture within my range in and out of my dimensional storage so I can at least say I’ve gotten some Skill levels while laying around being physically incapable of sleep. And then she stirs, and her eyelids flutter.

“Honey?” she whispers.

I have no idea what that means.

(Pet names. She’s referring to you.)

Ah, I get it! So you’re saying ‘idiot’ is your pet name for me, right?

Nyx just sighs back.

I look toward Izahne and ask, “What?”

“Would you…”

Ah, here we go again. “You can just say it.”

She looks me in the eyes and says, “Would you… use Blood Pact on me again?”