For the Record

It sure took the teacher a long time to get here. Is that normal?

Anyway, since the headmaster themself accepted me directly, other than Izahne filling out forms for me and Nyx calling me useless, I didn’t actually have to do much of anything. And since we were apparently right at the beginning of a term, they enrolled me in classes right away. They offered me on-campus housing, but I already have a lair. Plus they have a no pets policy unless they’re familiars, and Nyx nixed the idea of doing anything different with His Highness Philip, Lord of All He Can See.

“My” paladin seemed particularly unsure of what to do, since she’s currently using a dormitory. I didn’t really get it until Nyx took the time to explain it all a bit more.

(You see, marriage is a ritual sanctified by the gods that most human-like races participate in. You could argue that it’s largely for the purpose of building supportive subcommunities for raising children. It makes sense that you wouldn’t innately get it since you were remade as a wraith, which typically reproduce by dividing or are just outright born in high-mana-concentration areas with excessive hostile emotion. Anyway, some races practice one-to-one relationships, and some practice group marriages. Indra are typically a one-to-one culture, although individuals sometimes make exceptions. It’s basically a support contract of mutual ownership – you’re hers and she’s yours. Some cultures even treat the individuals involved as one person and it can get kinda awkward! I… admittedly arranged things for you two because Izzy is past marrying age but was clearly both traditional and still looking considering her hairstyle. Unmarried Indra males and females both wear a long braid in the traditional style to visually indicate that they’re seeking a partner, or at least open to the idea. And I figured you wouldn’t care since you’re you and don’t really care about anything but staying fed and getting stronger – she should be good for you in that way, plus I’ll have one more voice to help keep you from acting like an even bigger idiot. Just roll with it, trust me,) Nyx insists.

So she’s mine now? Is that why she’s been acting so weird?

(Eh… sort of? But remember if you’re going to view it that way, you’re hers too, so you should at least listen to her and think about what she says,) she continues. (Plus most married people cohabitate, so of course she’s going to be agitated now! Right now Pearl is her roommate, and normally places like this would make arrangements so spouses share a room, but you’ve gone and thrown that idea in the fire. The poor woman has no idea where she’s supposed to live! The proper thing would be for you to invite her to live at my workshop, since you’ve already made that your lair. The issue that arises is that it also means she won’t be in close contact with your party, so arguably you should invite them all to live there.)

Meanwhile, the human teacher at the front of the room has been droning on about some introductory this or whatever. “-And so, I once again welcome you to Basic Party Tactics, also known as Dungeoneering 108. The academy provides textbooks and other materials as part of your tuition, so please don’t forget to bring them.”

People here really like to talk. Not just the teacher either, some of the other students not far from me are talking too.

“Did you hear?” one of them whispers, “they accepted another unique monster!”

“Yeah, I heard it’s really low level,” another whispers back.

A third one grins. “We should party up and kill it, yeah? Uniques give the best experience.”

I’m admittedly losing my patience with them. And so, I try a trick Abaris told me about. I mentally designate those three as enemies, and all others in the room as non-hostile.

And I give them a taste of Aura of the Unwound.

I still find it fascinating how those born human-like react to the feeling of their soul being peeled like an orange. It’s fairly obvious that they’ve never felt true pain, or any kind of suffering or want. Especially here, so many of the other students seem especially well cared for.

I’ll offer the first at least a little respect – they immediately stop talking and snap to sit facing forward dead square to their seat, and start trying to inconspicuously look around the room for the source of their torment.

The other two are head-down on their desk, whimpering softly. I’m pretty sure at least one of them loosed their bodily waste, but they asked for it.

Hello idiots, I telepathically transmit to the three of them. I’d kill you for casually threatening me, but you’re too weak to be worth my time. Are you truly so stupid that you’ve forgotten that my kind have inherent Skills? The last time human-likes chose to attack me, I nearly wiped out their entire party on my own. And I wasn’t even taking them seriously! And don’t think the academy will avenge you – I’ve made special arrangements. I can eat your soul with impunity. Do you still want to test me? Please do. Ascendant souls taste the best.

Ah, wait, the human next to me is trying to get my attention.

“Psst, the teacher, the teacher!”

Heh? I look forward to see the teacher has walked all the way up to my row and is standing in front of my seat.

“Finally you decide to look!” they snap. “I understand that you’re new to formal education, but you must pay attention. This academy has limited admission available, so if you don’t want to be here, please just leave and don’t return!”

I drop my aura, just in case they can sense it.

Some of the other students giggle but promptly stop as the angry human points sharp glares all around. “That applies to the rest of you as well!”

“Uh. Sure,” I say.

“Sure, nothing! You address me as ‘teacher’! and give me a crisp yes or no!”

(I didn’t expect them to be this military, tbh,) Nyx comments.

I swallow my pride just a little bit and answer, “Yes, teacher.”

“Good!” They begin returning to the front of the room, and I continue ignoring their useless drivel.

So far the most annoying part of being here isn’t even being surrounded by humans with delicious-smelling vitality and being expected not to eat them. It’s this hells-damned uniform. It fits tight! Much too tight!

(Of course it does. You’re accustomed to wearing priest’s robes. After that kind of comfort, especially something master-crafted by yours truly, almost anything else is going to feel restrictive!)

Well, that’s fair I guess. The robes are nice. I still don’t get why I can’t just wear them here.

(Just deal with it.)

Fine.

The class period finally ends, so I stand up and head for the door. The small group I’ll designate as the dumb ones are still looking around for their adversary, and I choose to delight in acting casual. If they don’t know it’s me, I can do this as often as I want!

After two more even-less-eventful class periods, lunch hour begins, so I drift in the direction of the cafeteria – which Nyx tells me looks more like a food court, apparently. Whatever that is. When I enter the large room with multiple food stands around the sides, I find my paladin waving excitedly from a table on the far side. My assistant already explained the whole humans-eat-together-for-safety-and-to-build-camaraderie thing so I can spare her that complaint. Or, I can still complain about it. It’ll just be complaining then.

(You do that anyway.)

Sure. We’ll just go with that.

Anyway, I join up with my paladin and her party. They’re all already eating things that mostly smell like burnt plants and meat, but most human food does. I give Izahne a gentle tap with Consume as a greeting. She blushes for some reason.

Well, no better time than the present.

(For what?)

“Hey, so Nyx says married people are supposed to live together, so you should live in my lair. Oh, and because parties staying close and blah blah whatever, you all should move in too.”