Euphemistically Yours

In the end, I decided that HandEater would be my horse now, so I was riding him on the trip home. Thinking about it, that made a lot of sense in a way. I was a full squire, so the heriot tax fell on me. If I died, my personal horse would go to the Duke. I could only imagine the seneschal’s chagrin if he received HandEater. Thinking about that possibility made me grin.

However, there was a more important reason for my decision. Even though I’d somehow won HandEater’s respect, Grit had not. Apparently, HandEater wouldn’t let anyone ride if he didn’t think they were worthy of his magnificence. When Grit tried to mount up, he got the same treatment as before.

Naturally, Grit was disappointed, as if he had failed me again. I explained once more that the decision was mine. After all, it was my duty as the father to make the best choices for my family. Even so, his eyes looked strained, especially the one still bruised from the earlier injury. The marking was becoming lighter now, fading each day.

In any case, Honey was a fully-trained and experienced warhorse. I couldn’t ask for a better friend to protect my son and heir to the family. He had some hard years ahead of him, and she’d be able to help him through and show him the ropes. Besides, she already knew how to carry a rider in battle.

In the meantime, Eu matched perfectly with NeedMoreCandy. Her light frame hardly even slowed the pony down. On top of that, she’d instantly become enamored with the horse. She was so busy stroking NeedMoreCandy’s neck and whispering into her ears that she wasn’t even watching where we were going.

Luckily, NeedMoreCandy followed dutifully behind Honey, the lead mare of our small herd. As the head of the family, I was further in front, but it was clear who the other two horses were paying attention to.

For her part, Honey appeared unperturbed by the change in riders. Knowing her personality, she probably enjoyed the fact that Grit was smaller and lighter than me - especially since he only had the gambeson instead of a full mail hauberk. Did I expect better of her? Not really.

The trip was uneventful until we arrived home. Walking the horses up our front path, I noticed an expensive coach sitting in front of the house drawn by a sleek gelding. A coachman was perched on the front seat, shading his head from the sun under the canopy.

“Father, is that my aunts?”

“Yes, it must be.” I tried my best to keep my face positive. I didn’t like Constance's sisters and they didn’t like me, but they adored my children. I didn’t want to poison that essential family connection.

Of course, Eu didn’t understand. “What is aunts? That wagon thing? With wheels?”

She was pointing at the vehicle, so I shook my head. “No, that’s a coach. We were speaking of Grit’s aunts. In other words, my wife's sisters. That's what makes them his aunts.”

“Oh! Constance’s sisters!”

“Call her ‘mother’ to show respect!” insisted Grit.

“Aunts! Mother’s sisters.”

We both nodded with her success.

“But… if Constance …”

“Mother!”

“... If mother isn’t my mother, then are they my aunts too?”

“Uhh… no, I don’t think so.” I gave a look at Grit, but he shook his head as well.

Sensing our trepidation, she looked at me. “What should I do about aunts?”

“I’m not sure. They aren’t … bad people. They won’t hurt you. But, be sure to kneel down to them. Their husbands are knights, so they have a higher status than me.”

“Nights? They are dark?”

“Knights… it means… uhh… a squire with more land and servants.”

“Is this like honey?”

“Wha? How is that like honey?”

“You call Honey Honey, because you like honey.”

“Right? Oh… you mean are knights called knights because of the night?”

“Dark is stronger!”

“No, that's not the reason. At least, I don’t think so? The two words just sound the same.”

“Hmmm….” she didn’t look convinced.

“What did you mean by ‘dark is stronger?” asked Grit in confusion.

“Dark is stronger than light.”

Grit couldn’t hold back his rejection. “That’s not true! Light drives the dark away!”

She held up a finger, as if to lecture him, “But light needs … fire. Dark is strong from nothing!”

“What about the sun?” He pointed up.

“What about the night?” She pointed up as well, even though the sky was bright at the moment.

“All right. Enough of that! Grit, I’ll make sure she learns the scriptures about light and dark. For now though, we need to stable the horses and clean up before we go inside.”

I was dusty from head to toe. I’d also noticed that I had scraped my hands where the reins had slashed at me. The other two were relatively spotless, but we all smelled like horses.

Arriving at the rear paddock, the two mules neighed and stood at a distance from our new additions. In response, HandEater gave them an uninterested snort. Unlike Honey, most horses take a long time to adjust to new herdmates. Not that it mattered. The two mules would be gone tomorrow.

To avoid any possible confrontations, we put Honey and the new ponies into the stable while we left the mules outside to enjoy the outdoors. As an apology, I opened up one of the sacks of quality feed that we’d been given and left some for each of the horses - even the mules.

Once that was done, the next step was to clean our armor and brush the dust and dirt off. Grit and I knew the routine, but Eu stood mystified.

“What are you doing?” She asked Grit. He was spreading his gambeson out on the table to inspect it.

“Cleaning. We can’t go into the house dirty from the road.”

“Oh.” She nodded, then walked away.

“Hey! You need to clean yours too!”

“No, I don’t.”

“You smell like a horse!”

“YOU smell like a horse!”

Grit's eyes swung to me to see what I would do.

“Euphoria…” I used the long version of her false name. “I won’t make you wear a dress again, but you need to make sure that your armor is spotless. You’ll want to look good for your aunts, so you need to clean up.”

“No, I don’t. I will do magic.”

“Huh?” But I was too late, she’d already folded her hands.

A moment later, the entire stables lit up from the blaze of her magic egg. The winds rushed about, throwing straw and dust into the air. Had the shell gotten bigger again? It seemed to fill the whole room, covering the front area where Grit and I were cleaning all the way back into the horses’ stalls.

“What is she DOING?” Grit complained.

“It’s magic.”

“Yes, Father.” Grit pointedly did NOT roll his eyes at me.

This time, it didn’t last very long at all. By the time Grit had finished his reply, the wind stopped and the stables plunged back into seeming darkness. It took a few moments for my eyes to adjust.

Eu was standing there with a smug grin. Her bandanna had come loose and her hair was tousled about, but admittedly she was clean. In fact, her gambeson, which had gone through years of use in Grit’s care, now looked cleaner than ever. Before, the gray cloth had a stained brown undertone, especially at the back of the neck. Now, that was gone.

Looking around, the entire stables seemed to be cleaner. The straw and dirt that she’d flung around had all scattered to the outermost edges of the circle. Furthermore, the wood of the tables and stalls had been scoured, as if they’d been scrubbed with a brush.

With a startled gasp, I looked at my armor. Although the protective oils were still there, some especially annoying rusty areas had been brushed clean. Looking over at Grit, he was examining his own gambeson, just as astonished as me. “She… her magic… it's like she washed it!”

“That’s … really handy.” I agreed. Suddenly, I realized that even the sweat from the road had been blown off of me. Unfortunately, I recalled Master Wit’s voice telling me to figure out how to use her magic in battle.

I had to admit, her magic was really convenient. No wonder she did this every single day. It was nice, but it was useless! I could only sigh in despair.

Then, I realized my mistake. Her magic didn't seem that useful at first glance, but moving with an army, she’d be indispensable. I could only imagine the effect it would have on morale. No dirt! No sweat! If she did it right, the whole force would be fresh each night before settling down to sleep… in clean bedrolls! Would it work on horses too?

“Tell no one!” I roughly grabbed Grit by the shirt, shouting aloud.

Eu stepped back, surprised by my sudden vehemence. But, my target wasn't her, it was Grit. He wasn’t stupid. He understood exactly what I was thinking. I'd explained to him before what it was like travelling on a campaign. His eyes met mine and he nodded in agreement.

At first impression, the Duke might want to have her for his retinue - just to keep his belongings clean and fresh. Admittedly, that alone was impressive. But, from my experience as a soldier, her real worth was much more important. With magic like this, she would win wars! A fresh army in good spirits was like an unstoppable force!

Before this moment, all of our efforts had been working towards a silly plan. Really, just a gamble - a chance to add a potential knight to our family. But now? Now, I knew better. She was valuable in her own right! A knight? We'd hadn't seen the forest for the trees!

No, it was more than just that. Her magic lit up the darkness. Despite her assertions that dark was stronger, according to the scriptures, light was a heavenly symbol. Put her in the middle of an armed force and they’d see her as some sort of divine icon! Considering her personality, I couldn't help but laugh at the irony.

There were still so many obstacles, but even before that, there was a bigger problem. Despite her magic, she was just a tiny slip of a girl. None of what I'd seen could be used for her own defense! How would she protect herself? If the details about her magic leaked out, how would we keep her from those who would demand ownership?

“Sweet heavens! Tell no one!”