LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 91: Honest Mistakes
Indie led Frost outside the castle to have a conversation, and it was clear to him as soon as they left the party. Her attitude changed completely once no one was nearby, but going out to the garden wasn’t enough privacy as she kept walking past the guards at the gate, who tried to question them but were ignored. Frost reluctantly followed her through the main road until they reached the walkway before the upper-class district. And now that no one nearby could bother them, she leaned on the limestone balustrade on the edge, separating them from the bottom of the mountain and the wall.
They could look over the walls and in the very same direction EchoForce and the Heartaches took to reach the mountain, although they couldn’t really see them, even if they tried, as they only saw a bit past the cliff next to the lake from this height. But since they were supposed to check on them, they continued staring into the distance, barely making out what was past the mountain now that the sun cast shadows all over the mountain range. Frost approached the edge to lean on the railing as well, except he took a few anxious glances at Indie while they kept staring silently in that direction. He stood a couple of feet away from her but quickly noticed that she was slowly turning to him, inching closer until she finally decided to open her mouth.
–I didn’t want it to come to this, and I know you don’t want to talk about it bu-...– Indie began speaking with insecurity, almost timidly, in her body language and the soft tone of her voice. But as she tried to get Frost’s attention, he interrupted her and prevented her from talking by turning his back on her.
–Then don’t, really…– Frost replied bluntly, remaining calm but evasive as he didn’t even look at Indie, instead leaning sideways to look north. She hesitated to say anything else and continued looking at the mountain in front, but after a few moments of silence, it was clear she wasn’t satisfied with his answer, so before she could have the opportunity to change her approach, Frost doubled down to try to end the conversation as soon as possible.
–You made mistakes, I made mistakes. I think we are even. Besides, I’m over it, it’s done… There is no need to have this discussion– Frost added casually, with a slightly arrogant tone as he turned to Indie, but only to dismiss her and continue looking forward. She was further discouraged from talking, but after hearing the bitterness in his voice, she couldn’t keep quiet despite his negative reaction and the possibility that he would just ignore her.
–I’m glad you can look past it, but I can tell you still hold some resentment, and I don’t want that…– Indie replied in a more considerate manner, adopting a gentle speech and choosing her words carefully to not provoke him. She was showing remorse, and her vulnerable demeanor prompted Frost to reconsider her words, but even when he listened, he wasn’t going to let her talk any more than he wanted.
–I don’t care what you want, and you clearly don’t care what I or the team want, so why even bother?– Frost responded with a scoff to downplay the situation, but he couldn’t help growing slightly hostile. He tried playing indifferent, but Indie still began worrying about his attitude, as the disdain and animosity against her were impossible to hide under that haughty smirk of his. But since he wasn’t looking at her anymore, she tried taking a step back to not force the conversation, as well as composing herself for a moment to stick to her strategy.
–You know I didn’t mean it like that, and if you could actually listen to me, I could explain it and clear everything up…– Indie apologized, almost starting to beg as she sounded more desperate in her attempt to draw Frost’s attention, who kept cracking a couple chuckles at her expense while paying no attention. But the more she tried, the more he grew frustrated, and it was to the point that he was forced to look at her directly in the eye to make himself clear.
–I just don’t care at this point, really. I'd rather just forget about it. Besides, I don’t want to stress arguing. I might actually enjoy this night…– Frost replied with aversion, but he was still trying to keep his composure and stay cool. He even gave Indie a lighthearted smile, though a rather forced one, which seemed to stop Indie from trying to argue back for a brief moment.
She almost lost hope with that response alone as she stared at him in disbelief, growing more concerned about his volatile attitude. He was containing himself to not escalate the situation, which seemed to scare her, as saying one wrong thing could set him off and completely ruin her chances to speak to him. So, having to think really hard about what approach she should take to convince him to listen, Indie distanced herself to let Frost calm down on his own. However, the more she thought about it, the less confident she appeared, and it even looked like she couldn’t come up with anything to say to make amends with him. But despite not being completely sure of herself, Indie couldn’t give up and gathered some courage to try to speak once again, anxiously hoping Frost would listen.
–Look, it’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to apologize…– Indie affirmed with a genuine but apprehensive tone, which finally seemed to get Frost’s attention, although not in the way she expected.
–Oh really? Is this a sorry but you still have the fault and have to do everything I say without arguing it type of apology?– Frost asked with spiteful sarcasm, dropping the nonchalant act to look Indie in the eye, although he was still concealing some of his skepticism despite giving her a derisive look. She almost frowned with guilt for a moment, but then was able to look past his insults and continue being straightforward and honest.
–No, it’s a real apology. I am truly sorry for everything, mostly for the lack of communication…– Indie reaffirmed in the same sincere manner, but she opened up a bit more, as she didn’t try to hide the regret in her expression. This approach changed Frost’s perspective as he soon realized she was truly serious, and while she could take advantage to keep ridiculing her, he also turned somewhat regretful of his previous response but still remained just as reluctant to have a real talk with her.
–Look, it’s fine. It’s not your fault, it’s nothing personal. I didn’t go against your rules out of spite or anything, I was just thinking outside the box…–Frost replied with restraint but was genuine as well, even though he dismissed some of Indie’s worries, which seemed to trouble her in the way he continued addressing her.
–Except it is personal. You are saying that, yet you defy me and do all these things to oppose me in front of everyone. It’s like you want to make me look like a villain…– Indie claimed with growing frustration, raising her tone a little and returning to her stern and critical self, although only for a brief second. She got her act together right away, but it was enough for Frost to get defensive and prepare an equally aggressive response. But before he got the chance to reply, Indie turned apologetic again and gestured for some patience to hear her out.
–But it’s okay because I am wrong here, I admit it. But before I explain anything, I don’t want you to get cocky for saying this, alright? You have been pretty mean and hurt my feelings too, but I will take accountability first…– Indie added with a heartfelt, understanding, and slightly embarrassed tone that caught Frost by surprise. He couldn’t help but freeze with a distant stare, as if he were seeing a completely different side of her. It was so uncharacteristic that he continued to stare in confusion for a long second, trying to figure out why she was talking and acting differently. But after taking a good look at her from top to bottom to see if he still recognized her, he seemed to start to believe her.
–Didn’t know you had any feelings, but go on…– Frost responded sarcastically, slightly dismissive but more open to listening, as he leaned on the rail and turned his ear to give Indie a chance to explain herself. She noticed he was still skeptical but took his reaction lightly, even cracking up for a second before taking a moment to think. And even though she appeared uncertain of her chances to succeed, she remained calm and inspired now that Frost was finally listening to her.
–Alright, just hear me out, okay? If you do have something to tell me, please do, but first, listen to what I have to say…– Indie asked politely, with a bit more optimism, even though Frost gave her a suspicious stare in response. He was just waiting for her to say something he strongly disagreed with to have an excuse to interrupt and argue back, but for the moment, he paid close attention, allowing Indie to get more comfortable speaking.
–Look, I never meant to deceive you. In fact, I think I got lied to, but I didn’t want to tell you because I knew how you would take it. I did tell you we wouldn’t play a big role here, but I apologize for hiding the truth from you…– Indie explained with an apologetic but firm tone, maintaining a considerate demeanor, though slightly anxious upon seeing Frost’s reaction, which at first seemed to be rather positive. But right after her brief apology, he started showing some disappointment, and even though he waited patiently for her to finish her sentence, he was already forming a response while she talked, and he didn’t hesitate to voice it as soon as he saw the opportunity.
–I know that already, but what I can’t wrap my head around is why would you ever agree to come here knowing we would just be fooling around and wasting time. I mean, what did you think was going to happen, really?– Frost replied in a mix of frustration, suspicion, and indignation, still holding a lot of contempt towards Indie for her decision, which she was able to understand. But from the way he asked the question, and how he kept blaming her with his piercing eyes, Indie was slightly unnerved, and despite trying her best to keep her composure, she couldn’t keep it together for much longer.
–I thought it was our best option! Don’t you think I also wanted to get out of there and do something? Even if we don’t actually get to fight, at least we are in a better environment, we are free to do other stuff, and we can just enjoy ourselves a little. I wanted the best for the team, I didn’t really care about our role or if we would get to fight again…– Indie replied in a more annoyed manner but showed more passion than anger in trying to convince Frost. She showed just as much restraint to just give an explanation instead of fighting back or shifting the blame. But despite her not insulting him, taking accountability, and even siding with him, it didn’t seem to change Frost’s mind, and he couldn’t even look at her seriously anymore.
–Right, and where have you been all this time? Enjoying yourself? I doubt it because I haven’t seen you in the streets at all, and something tells me you are just killing time, waiting for whatever gets thrown at us…– Frost asked scornfully, adopting his arrogantly taunting tone to insult her excuses, to which Indie scoffed instinctively, but she still held her anger and looked past his mockery and rude attitude to remain reasonable.
–I am, it’s because I feel guilty for letting this happen. I can’t look at the team in the same way, let alone talk to them. I just wish it didn’t go that way, and we could be out there fighting like the rest…– Indie replied in a sensible and heartfelt manner, almost reaching for Frost to garner some compassion. But even when he seemed to believe her intentions and reasons, he seemed more confused than anything after she confessed her real opinions on their circumstances.
–Then why did you accept the deal? Why didn’t you argue it or ask for our help, huh?– Frost asked skeptically, still a little disdainful, but it was mostly out of shock, as he was dismayed to hear Indie would go against her own beliefs. And the more he looked at her, the more suspicious he got, quickly losing trust in his stare and once again struggling to recognize the person in front of her. Even Indie seemed to be doubtful of herself as well as a little ashamed to confess her decision, so it took her a while to muster up the courage to give him an answer, even if it looked like there was nothing that could please him or get rid of the negative perception he had of her.
–I did it for a reason, a selfish reason, but I truly believed it would be for the better…– Indie finally answered after much hesitation, which didn’t help to ease Frost’s worries, let alone believe her more than before. He couldn’t look her in the eye and shook his head in confusion. But as he took too long to reply and even tried to leave, Indie stopped her by reaching for his left arm, holding him in place, and prompting him to become nervous in anticipation of what she was trying to say.
–Finn, why do you think I let us come here? Why didn’t I let you go with Saint to that mission? Why am I constantly trying to stop you from doing anything?– Indie asked in a rhetorical but compelling manner, trying to enlighten Frost with her reasons. Her approach managed to intrigue him not only with her gentle but captivating voice but also with her captivating eyes. He was growing uncomfortable as she pulled him closer to draw his full attention. But even in a trance, he wasn’t able to pay attention to what she was saying, putting very little thought into her questions despite being forced to respond.
–Because you hate me? That’s seriously the only thing that comes to mind…– Frost asked in a mildly playful tone, even a bit sheepish, as Indie stared at him intently. She didn’t like his dismissive response, but she took advantage of his current attitude by holding him in place with both hands, keeping him right in front of her, and creating an intimate space that was effective in breaching his evasive front. He had no choice but to listen, and even though he resisted, Indie leaned closer to give him that much-needed explanation that he had yearned for the past few weeks.
–No, it’s because I wanted to give you a lesson, teach you what I need you to be, or at least show you so you can remember…– Indie confessed with a heartfelt, kind, and almost adoring smile that shocked Frost to his core. It wasn’t as affectionate as Candy smiled at him, so he couldn’t really identify it, but it was more emotion than Indie had ever shown before, and in a moment like this, Frost was completely bewildered and even concerned by it.
Indie started to show some hope as she could tell Frost was processing the information, seemingly understanding her for once. She let go of him to not put him under more stress, but her optimism disappeared when he began chuckling nervously, which quickly turned into a scornful laugh paired with a disparaging look that annoyed her. Despite him not thinking hard about it or the fact that he was able to keep his opinion to himself for a long, silent moment, it was clear he loathed her justification from the way he tensed up, becoming agitated as his disdain built up until he eventually had to burst.