DxD: A Blonde Boy

Customers were coming in and out of the Establishment, ordering different kinds of ramen.

A fly was buzzing around looking for its next victim to torment.

The Chefs, were busy making ramen in the kitchen before a special globe started blinking red and the alarm systems went frenzy.

This could only mean one thing to the chefs of De'lit noodle shop.

"Look alive, boys! I want all hands on deck!" The top chef bellowed in a Sergeant's voice while pacing in front of all the assembled chef in the kitchen

"There might be a chance that one of us Is going down today... May the best chef win." He gave everyone one last glance and turned around. "Let's take down this son of a bitch!"

"Roger, Sarge!" the whole crew shouted.

After the short motivational speech by Hiroshima, the owner of the noodle shop, Naruto blitzed in, skidding to a stop in front of Hiroshima with his eyes narrowed.

"Gimme your best shot, old man Hiro," he challenged.

"Oh, it's on, Uzumaki!"

And like that, all the chefs rolled up their sleeves with one goal in mind; To fill up the monster in front of them.

Cups upon cups of ramen were sacrificed to the Ramen god but they all fell in front of his divine retribution.

"He's pushing me to my limits, I don't think I can hold on much longer," one of the chefs lamented.

The situation looked bleak, It was a clean defeat, and Hiroshima was a man of honor.

"I concede, Uzumaki," Hiroshima admitted a clean defeat.

"Heh, don't worry, old man, the day you defeat me is still thousands of years away," Naruto stated with his trademark ear-splitting grin.

"Ahh, that hit the spot," he sighed, patting his stomach.

The Naruto Face-Off was a tradition that began 2 months after Naruto's first visit to the noodle shop. The official score is Naruto: 34, Hiroshima: 0. And the best thing about The Naruto Face-Off was that the ramen was free.

Everyone knows that Hiroshima became a millionaire not too long after Naruto's first step into the door of Hiroshima's little shop.

The old man called Naruto to the counter and placed a bowl of broth in front of him. "I have a gift for you, Naruto.," the old man said all of a sudden.

"What is it, old man?" the blonde ninja asked with genuine curiosity on his face. "I sure hope it's a free ramen pass for a week."

"I'd become bankrupt," old man Hiro deadpanned.

"Yeah, No shit," he agreed in a dull manner.

Hiro dropped an orange envelope with a message on it with a title that reads, 'To our No.1 customer.' on the table. Naruto, who was slouching on the table, raised his head up when he saw the envelope and found a golden key in it when he tore it open.

"Congratulations, Naruto, I just bought you a new house in Kuoh!" the old man exclaimed.

"Aww, old man, thank you so much!" Naruto held the key like it was a lifeline tossed to a sinner in hell.

"You deserve it, Naruto." The old man ruffled the blonde shinobi's hair. "I hope you actually find a new job and a nice girlfriend."

Naruto was going to miss the Shingahashi district because of the old man and his noodle shop but he had this feeling that Kuoh wouldn't be boring like this shithole he landed in after falling into Kaguya's Yomotsu Hirasaka after sealing her off for eternity.

"Thanks, old man. I better get packing, then."

"Don't be a stranger, Naruto," the old man said.

"Goodbye, old man," Naruto waved at Hiroshima.

.

.

.

Naruto was on his way home, bored out of his mind. He wondered if his lifestyle was ok. Was it something worthy of The Number One Hyperactive, Knucklehead Ninja? He didn't even know what Hyperactive meant anymore.

The blonde Uzumaki quickened his pace because he wanted to see how the Bijūs would react to the news that he's got a new apartment in Kuoh. Those little runts have been bitching and moaning about the poor living conditions lately.

(Scene change)

All nine tailed beasts were in a state of panic right now because Shukaku and Kurama had wrecked their home again. Naruto would descend upon them with an unholy temper. Speaking of the devil—

Swosh

Naruto stood at where his house was supposed to be, only to see Matatabi, Isobu, Son, Kokuō, Saiken, and Gyūki pointing at Shukaku and Kurama who looked like they wanted to be anywhere but there; that's when it all clicked in the ninja's head.

Those bastards destroyed his house... Again.

A huge pressure slammed on the two culprits and killer intent they've never felt before was directed at them. The air got so thick with the amount of KI Naruto was releasing and then, all of a sudden, it all vanished.

For once, Shukaku and Kurama had the same thought going through their minds, "Shit, we're fucked."

"I just wanted y'all to know how much I love you. Please don't miss me while I'm gone, okay," the Tanuki of Suna said his last words. Who knew Shukaku had a side like this?

"Just so you know, Matatabi, I stole money from your safe to buy an adult magazine. Just wanted to make restitution before I die," Kurama confessed.

"I knew it, Ero-fox!" Matatabi hollered.

"Hey! A fox's got urges too, you know!" Kurama tried to justify his actions.

Naruto took a steady gait towards them and every step forward increased the tension in the air; it got so intense that one of the Tailed Beasts actually farted.

"Who the hell was that?" Kokuō, the gentle one among Hagoromo's creations, voiced the question that was on everyone's mind.

"I have good news guys!" Naruto yelled, leaving the Bijūs bewildered. "Pack your luggage cause we are going to Kuoh!"

"What in the world?" Kurama had a confused look on his furry face.

"I have a new mansion waiting for me in Kuoh!" Naruto squealed in joy like someone that hit the jackpot.

"What?!" was all the Tailed Beasts could get out.

"I'm too old for this shit," Kurama shook his head, sighing deeply.