Dungeons Just Want to Have Fun

“I don’t think Anton will be back before we have to present ourselves to the King,” Suliel said. She spoke aloud, preferring to use her voice, rather than using the bond directly. There was no one around to hear her speak to the empty air. The reply came instantly, as if Kelsey had already thought about this.

Yeah, once the captives were split up, the chance of rescuing them all and getting back in time started to get very remote. We could still make it if we headed back right after rescuing Cheia’s group, but I haven’t brought up the possibility. Do you want me to?

“Anton wouldn’t abandon his fellow villagers,” Suliel said. Kelsey already knew that, it was why she hadn’t brought it up.

He might, if you needed him.

A little thrill ran through Suliel at the thought of Anton dropping his quest just because she needed him, but those were the thoughts of a child. Anton should come back, Suliel knew. From the perspective of a ruler, the few missing children weren’t that important. Not compared to meeting their king with the survival of the barony on the line.

Anton didn’t see it that way, which was why he was a hero, and she was a sovereign.

“I don’t need him,” she lied. “We’ll just have to make preparations assuming his absence.”

Fair enough, Kelsey said. I’ve got a hundred preparations ready to go, and they’re getting ripe.

“Of course, let me gather the troops.”

Suliel headed down to the courtyard where the new unit was waiting. Twenty men, all armed with the new weapons that Kelsey had provided. They were sharply inferior to the guns that Kelsey had provided Aris, but Suliel found it hard to complain about the favouritism shown to her fellow wife.

They saluted her as she came up. Some of them had the sharp, practised salutes of a trained Soldier, others were more ragged. She had scraped together these twenty men and women from wherever she could find. Some had already been her soldiers, some were adventurers attracted by the higher pay and the possibility of a better Class. A few of them were spare cousins, lured away from the small estates that surrounded the town.

All of them had trained with the new weapons, but training did not qualify one for a Class. You needed to use them, and that was what they were here for.

Suliel returned the salutes and nodded to the ones she knew personally. “At ease,” she said. “We’re moving out to the dungeon.”

Her horse had been made ready and was being held by the stablemaster. He would be coming with them, to take care of the beast when the firing started. Kelsey had asserted that horses could be made accustomed to the noise of guns. She didn’t have any ideas of how that could be done, but she had offered, if Suliel was to supply her with a horse, to make a special undead mount for her that would not spook.

Suliel had passed on the offer—horses were too valuable to sacrifice. They didn’t live forever though, so Kelsey might be getting a horse at some point.

The current plan to accustom the horse to gunfire was to have it nearby during the exercise— preferably without Suliel sitting on it.

She led the troops forward at a walk. They weren’t going far, not even all the way to the dungeon. About halfway up the hill, a short wall had been erected. It was about three feet high, not a serious defence, just something for her troops to kneel behind.

Most of the trees between here and the dungeon had been cleared. There had been a pressing demand for wood, and Suliel planned to have a lot more traffic going between the two foci of her domain.

I think we’re ready for you, she sent once her forces were in place.

Roger Wilco, Kelsey replied as she often did, with nonsense words in some made-up language. First wave on its way.

It took a few moments for the zombies to appear, and Suliel started to worry that they’d been turned around. Then the first of them hove into view.

Second wave going out… now, Kelsey said.

Suliel could tell the moment that the first zombie caught sight, or scent of the humans below. It gurgled something and picked up speed. The others soon followed. Suliel felt a chill at the sight of the ten zombies shambling towards them. She had heard about the terror Kelsey had caused, releasing a cellar full of the monster in the town.

She reminded herself that these were the weakest of Kelsey’s monsters. Just fodder, there to be killed. The outbreak in town had scared a lot of people, but no one had died. A person of average strength could club a zombie to death with an improvised weapon.

Still, she felt a mixture of disgust and fear at the sight of the shambling horrors approaching. The soldiers in front of her stayed calm, holding their fire until the right moment.

Suliel had imagined that the best tactic was for each soldier to fire when they were ready, but Kelsey had off-handedly mentioned the devastating effect of volley fire. So that was how they had trained.

“Steady… steady…” the sergeant called in a low voice. “Ready… and fire!”

Ten rifles roared as one. They weren’t perfectly synchronised, but they were close enough that the sound of them merged into an extended rumble of thunder. Seven of the zombies fell to the ground.

“Switch!” the sergeant called, and the front line switched their rifles with the soldier behind them. The rear echelon started reloading, while the front line started to aim.

Suliel glanced over at her horse. He was being held in a bear hug by her stablemaster. She wasn’t sure which of them had the wilder eyes.

“Fire!” the sergeant called again. The remaining zombies dropped as the guns rang out again.

This time, there was a short pause before the sergeant called for the switch. The guns were still being reloaded as the second wave came into view. This had been planned for, though, and there was enough of a gap between the waves for the front line to get ready to fire.

The front ten would be the only ones to get new classes today. Kelsey had only been willing to “waste” one hundred zombies at a time, and they thought it would take ten kills for each soldier to get a new class. It wouldn’t work out evenly, but enough of them should qualify. Those who missed out could do a dungeon run. Avoiding that duty made for an excellent incentive to get a class today.

Kelsey continued to release waves of zombies, and they continued to be cut down by volley after volley. There was a longer gap after the fifth wave, to check and clean the guns, but they were soon back to it.

Even the noise became routine after a while. Her horse seemed to have calmed somewhat, though her stablemaster was still calming him.

Eventually, the last wave was called, and it was time to tally up the rewards.

Suliel listened intently as each soldier called out what they had qualified for. Everyone seemed to have qualified for Musketeer, while only a few had qualified for Rifleman.

Original Rifleman and Original Musketeer were snapped up as soon as they realised that those classes could only be taken by one person. Suliel couldn’t blame them for instantly snapping up a Unique Class. But the standard versions were Rare. She wondered how long it would take for them to become more common, and what would happen to those who held them when the downgrade happened.

“I want you to take Musketeer,” she announced once she’d gleaned the details. “That seems to be the one made for operating as a unit.”

An army wasn’t going to turn away a Swordsman, or an Axeman, but what it wanted were Soldiers. Classes of that type held traits that helped the user to fight in a group. Traits that supported their fellow soldier, traits that helped them understand and carry out orders… as well as the traits that helped with combat.

“You can choose otherwise if you wish, of course,” she added. Attempting to force someone to take a class rarely worked out well, and Suliel didn’t want to be that kind of tyrant.

Once she released their attention, the small crowd quickly erupted into excited discussion as people debated their choices, and commiserated with those who hadn’t had a chance to qualify yet. Suliel backed off to consider what they’d learned.

So some of them managed ten kills, but Musketeer only needs six. But it requires an Acknowledgement of Authority? Kelsey mused.

That’s normal for Soldier-type Classes, Suliel sent silently. Well, not the kills, normally you just need to have held a Warrior-type Class.

So I only need to send six waves next time?

Eight, Suliel sent firmly. We don’t want anyone missing out next time, and that’s still a reduction. Hold on a moment—

She interrupted herself as her sergeant approached.

“What is it, Thurom?”

“My Lady,” he said, bowing his head. “I just noticed that I qualified for a new class myself. Drill Sergeant, Third Tier, Rare.”

Oooh, sounds like he’s got a lot of yelling in his future, Kelsey put in.

“What does that have to do with guns?” Suliel asked them both.

“I don’t know, my Lady,” the sergeant answered. Kelsey’s answer was slower and more considered.

I don’t really know either… in movies—uh, stories— the drill sergeant was the guy that whipped the new recruits into shape. Sounds like something you’ll need.

Suliel nodded slowly. “I’d advise you take it then,”

Thurom grimaced. “I don’t much like the idea of starting my third Tier over again, my Lady. I held some hopes of reaching Tier Four before I retired.”

Suliel nodded. “It’s your choice,” she said, “But your current class is Fine, is it not? You don’t want to overlook a chance at an upgrade.”

She thought to check him with Nobilities Privilege.

Thurom Avist, Level 20, Parents: Alive and in Domain, Married with two children, Loyal, Sergeant

“You’d only have to redo five levels,” she said. “I know Kirido has been a bit of a backwater where nothing happens, but that’s changing. I predict that there will be many opportunities to gain experience in the near future.”

I wonder if that’s your version of the old Chinese curse, Kelsey mused nonsensically as Thurom nodded thoughtfully. “May you have many opportunities to gain experience.”

I have no idea what you’re talking about, Suliel told her. She got only giggles in response, which was about what she’d expected.

Ignoring it, she addressed her soldiers once more. They didn’t notice her at first, but Thurom bellowed at them to pay attention. Nodding her thanks, she started a short speech.

“Well done everyone! I’ve got two more things to tell you, and then you can have the rest of the day off to celebrate your new classes!”

The cheers were muted, because Thurom was glaring at them, but they were there.

“First of all, the Adventurers guild will pay silver for any details of a class that isn’t in their books. Needless to say, it’s first come, first paid.”

A quiver ran through the unit as they all realised what that meant. They were going to be racing back to town.

“Second of all, there are a hundred zombie corpses dissolving uphill. Some fraction of them will have mana crystals, which the Guild will also pay silver for. Probably about thirty?”

Now they were torn. Should they run uphill or down?

“My lady,” Thurom said in a pained voice. “They’re not supposed to be running around town with their rifles.”

“That’s true,” Suliel agreed. “You’ll have to check your equipment in before you can go crystal hunting or report to the guild.”

“Yes, my Lady,” Thurom said. “All right! Back to barracks, quick march!”

Suliel stayed where she was and watched them head back to town. Her horse had calmed down, so she mounted him and sent the stablemaster back as well.

I can have the next batch ready in three days, Kelsey told her.

“We’ll be ready,” Suliel said.