Dungeons Are Bad Business

Volume 2 Chapter 9: Laughing Arrows Part 1 (Luna and Holly Interlude)



A branch above Luna’s head snapped, covering the [Pumpkin Witch] in snow. Shivering, Luna reached up and brushed it away as she continued trudging toward the adventurer’s camp. She turned to her companion, Holly, and scowled.

“Didn’t feel like stopping that one, either, huh?”

The [Snowmancer] chuckled and shook her head. “Figured you’d dodge it,” she said with a mischievous smile. “Didn’t realize you’d gotten so slow.”

“Not all of us are literally in their element,” Luna grumbled as she leapt over a large snow drift and almost lost her balance. Holly raised an eyebrow, but didn’t razz her any further as they approached the wide clearing where their camp was hidden.

Had Luna not known for a fact that the camp was right in front of her, she would have never suspected it. It’d been hidden from conscious awareness by [Orb of Obscurement], a skill that belonged to their party leader, Serena. A level 35 [Crescent Shield Scout] covered in hard-won scars, Serena was only a handful of years older than Luna and Holly, but she was a much more experienced adventurer and a little scary to be around as a result.

Luna’s heavy boots passed through the invisible barrier of the orb and her skin crawled as she pushed herself toward the camp. Thankfully the discomfort passed quickly, and she smiled as she smelled the hearty stew bubbling away on the cauldron by the fire. Her stomach rumbled and she realized that she hadn’t really eaten anything since breakfast. Two bags of trail mix and a handful of granola bars didn’t count.

Serena was studying her maps as the witches made a beeline for the logs close to the flames, grabbing a cup of mulled cider apiece as they sat down. The blonde woman didn’t look happy; her brow was furrowed and her mouth drawn tight as she tapped the map with her pen.

“Betcha Gus has been whining again,” Holly whispered as Luna set down her hat-turned-lance and bag-turned-shield. “He thinks we’re wasting our time.”

The [Snowmancer]’s own weapon, a whip sword made out of snowflakes, melted away, to be summoned back into existence as soon as the witch needed it. Taking off her gloves and staring at her chafed hands, Luna couldn’t help but be a little envious.

“Probably,” the [Pumpkin Witch] said as she took a joyous sip of cider. She relished the warmth of the liquid as much as the bright spices that made her feel like it was fall again. It was a little thing, but she felt her strength returning ever so slightly as she drank the rest of the cup. She hadn’t expected the drain of being out in the snow and was suffering for it. Her wells were “full”, but they were brittle, like they were being squeezed by the cold. Trying to draw power through them was painful, and even meditating hadn’t really helped alleviate the problem.

Luna took another sip and let out a contented sigh. Spiced things, warm things…those were going to be the key to keeping up her strength as she endured this job. And make no mistake, Luna was going to endure it.

Still, she wished she had cookies. Cookies made everything better.

As if scripted, Holly sighed and opened her bag. Reaching inside, the [Snowmancer] pulled out a crinkled package filled with sugar cookies that looked a little worse for wear and held them out. She looked a little surly to be doing so, but that was only to be expected.

“Here, take one, you sugar fiend. Seriously, I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”

The [Pumpkin Witch] grinned as she took the offered treat. For all her grumbling, Holly had settled into her [Surly Sidekick] class pretty well. Thanks to her passive [One Step Ahead] skill, she always seemed to know what Luna wanted or needed, which was a real blessing most of the time. However, it wasn’t always a good thing, and Luna had started taking extra care to make sure that Holly was nowhere nearby when she let her mind wander back home, lest she open herself up to Holly’s merciless teasing.

“Thanks,” Luna sighed as she bit into a second cookie. It was buttery and sweet, and her wells relaxed a little bit more. How many would it take to get back to feeling normal? Probably more than they had.

“Where’d you get these from? I know you didn’t bake them yourself, you crook. They’re too good for that.”

Holly frogged her in the arm but smiled as she did it. “Got ‘em from Mary’s. They’re not bad, eh?”

Luna nodded as she grabbed a couple more for the rest of the evening before returning the bag. After another long sip of cider, she leaned toward the fire. When she closed her eyes, she felt the tug of Oar’s Crest in the back of her mind as her skin warmed. The city was far away – Gus’ [Footsteps of Giants] skill had let their party cross a distance in two days that would have normally taken almost ten – but thanks to [Right Place, Right Time], Luna still saw the penciled whispers of the problems she would have been solving if she’d been there. What she’d once called the twinges had gotten stronger as she’d followed them, and now when she was in town she found herself sensing a giant red arrow at all times that led her wherever she needed to be.

If only that worked out here, she thought bitterly. Then I could find these stupid bandits and go home.

The mood had definitely soured in the adventurer’s camp as the days wore on and they found no signs of their targets. Serena’s [Moon Map] had shown movement in the area, but the optimism had faded as none of the party’s short-range tracking skills – like Gus’ [Find Quarry] or Kemda’s [Track Down] – had procced even once.

Luna hoped that the other parties around the continent were faring better than they were. Hopefully someone would capture the leader soon, so life could go back to normal.

Finishing her cider, Luna stood up and made her way to her bedroll, where she took off her outer layer of armor before laying down. In addition to a {Watch} that had been [Synchronized] to the rest of the watches in the party, the guild had made sure that every adventurer in the open call had full armor. Though she’d explained that she technically had her own armor if the situation required it, Serena had insisted on Luna taking a chain mail doublet and cuisse. The [Pumpkin Witch]’s boots, sturdy and heavy as they were, had been deemed acceptable for the job. Which had been good, as Luna wouldn’t have been willing to part with them.

Crawling under her covers, Luna looked up at the stars. The aching fatigue of the hunt settled into her bones, and before long she was asleep.

Luna was shaken awake in the middle of the night by a worried Serena, who was dressed in full regalia and looking worried.

“Kemda and Brayson were supposed to be back an hour ago,” she said as Luna sat up and wiped the sleep from her eyes. “Something must have happened, so we’re going to going to go look for them. Be quick about getting your gear on; you and Sacre are coming with me and Gus. There might be fighting, and you two are supposed to be good in a scrap.”

[You have been given a quest: Find Kemda and Brayson! Would you like to accept?]

Hurrying to her feet, Luna accepted the quest and armored up as quick as she could. The mail was cold and made her shiver, but she ignored it. On the other side of the camp, Luna saw Holly doing the same, though the [Snowmancer]’s preparations simply required her to stand in the center of a [Snowflurry] and wait for her armor to form. Once again, Luna felt a flicker of jealousy.

[Quest: Find Kemda and Brayson!]

[Dangers: Whatever happened to them might happen to you too…and your presence might be noticed by those you’re hunting. If they’re around, that is.]

[Reward for completion: Adventurousness +1, Loyalty +1]

[Description: Your fellow adventurers, Kemda and Brayson, were supposed to return to camp once they finished their patrol. They’re still not back, which is never a good thing. Go find them.]

Picking up her weapons, Luna hurried to join her companions, and they headed out into the night.

“Keep your eyes peeled for any sign of enemies or our companions,” Serena said as they made their way down the winding path leading away from camp. “Stay as quiet as you can, but don’t hesitate to scream for help if you get into trouble, okay?”

The night was clear and cold, and the twin moons loomed even larger in the sky than they normally did. Luna’s limbs felt a little sluggish. The four adventures headed out along the winding path that led deeper into the woods. They stopped when they reached a frozen creek and Serena turned to look over at Gus.

“Anything?”

The [Huntsman] shook his head and spat into the snow. He was a gruff, grizzled man with short red hair and tattoos of swords and arrows on his exposed shoulders and biceps. Luna didn’t particularly like him, but she knew that he was a skilled tracker and good man at heart.

“Ain’t nothin’ around here,” he grunted as he knelt down to touch the ground near where he’d spat. The flicker of light surrounding his hands meant that this too was a skill, though Luna hadn’t yet heard him say its name. “No people, no critters. Nothing. Even using something from their bedrolls doesn’t cause anything to show up. It’s like they vanished into thin air or something.”

Serena swore before turning back to the creek. “They’re not just lost, then. Crap. We’ll keep looking. Come on, and keep your weapons ready. I’ve got a bad feeling about all this.”

The quartet hurried on; their pace quickened by worry. For all that they willed it to be otherwise, the forest was the same as ever. There were no suspicious rocks, no trees leaning the wrong way, nor any other signs that they could follow to find their companions. Gus reported that his skill stayed quiet, and Serena looked increasingly frustrated as the search wore on.

One hour turned into two, and Luna’s adrenaline-fueled endurance flagged. Her cheeks and ears were so cold they hurt, and it was taking more and more effort to keep lifting her feet up for each step. Maybe the boots hadn’t been such a good decision after all. Gus was having a tough time too, and Serena called for a stop just before midnight.

“Let’s take a few minutes and catch our breath,” the [Crescent Shield Scout] said as she twisted open her canteen and took a swig.

The weary adventurers were all too happy to do so, though Gus scowled as he crouched down to look Serena in the eye.

“We’re not going to find anything out here,” he said. “It’s too dark, Serena. There are too many nooks and crannies we can’t see properly, and we’re all slowing down. We should go back to camp and wait ‘till it’s light to start searching again.”

Serena shook her head. “Two of our party members are missing. Possibly injured. And you want to just stop looking for them and go back to camp?”

Gus spat into the snow once more. “It’s not that I want to stop looking for them, it’s that I think it’s our best course of action. Keeping [Follow Trail] active has my head starting to hurt, Serena. I’m going to have a tough time keeping up pretty soon, let alone pull my weight if we get into a fight. We’re not going to help our companions by stumbling into danger so weak that even a couple kids playing [Villains] and [Heroes] could beat us up.”

Serena scowled but didn’t immediately rule out his idea. Instead, she looked at Luna and Holly and asked, “How are you two holding up? Think you can keep going?”

“I’m alright,” Holly said with a shrug. “I’m tired but not unreasonably so. Besides, I can always draw extra strength from the snow if I need to.”

“And what about you, Luna?”

The [Pumpkin Witch] met the other woman’s eyes. She wanted to shrug, to say that she was fine and that she was ready to resume their search, but that wasn’t the case. Her arms trembled under the strain of holding her gear, and her legs begged for relief. Sadly, Luna didn’t think that a couple sips from a canteen and a few minutes of rest were going to make everything better. She tried to draw power from her wells and found them closed to her, so she shook her head.

[Might -1]

“I can press on if need be, but I’m definitely not in fighting shape. I could really use some rest,” she admitted. Piper’s eyes, it’d been difficult to say that! “Finding Kemda and Brayson is important, but we’re not really making any progress. So, I agree with Gus; we should go back to camp and take everyone else out tomorrow to continue the search.”

Serena looked at her for a long moment and Luna saw the judgement in the other woman’s eyes.

“Fine. I don’t like it but if you two don’t think you can hack it in a battle, we’re putting ourselves in unnecessary danger. We’ll return to camp for the night and start again in the morning,” Serena said as she put away her canteen and stood up.

“I hope we’re not making a terrible mistake.”

Luna bit her lip. “I hope so too,” she said quietly. Setting down her shield for a moment, the weary [Pumpkin Witch] stretched her arms and shoulders before starting the trek back to camp.

They took a slightly different route, for though Serena had agreed to go back to camp, she was intent on squeezing out every bit of value from their search as she could. Luna’s limbs ached and she soon fell behind her companions, though she made sure to keep them in sight.

After crossing another frozen stream, Luna felt her attention pull toward a thicket of trees that was on her right. It was faint, but the sensation had the shape of [Right Place, Right Time] to it, and over the months since breaking her limits, Luna had learned to trust her instincts.

Changing her course, the [Pumpkin Witch] slogged through freshly-fallen snow and examined the trees. At first, nothing stood out to her, but then she noticed a tiny string of silver thread wrapped near the base of the tree closest to where she stood. Kneeling down, Luna ran her finger along the string, and found a miniscule silver bell attached to the other side. The metal was warm and jingled merrily, and the chill faded from Luna’s skin. Laughter filled the air.

“Luna! What’s happening?”

Holly’s voice pierced the air, and Luna – who was suddenly feeling very strange – looked up. Her friend was running toward her, but something wasn’t right. The whole world had gone fuzzy, and though Holly yelled something else, Luna didn’t hear it at all.

The world turned silver.

When awareness returned, Luna found herself standing in a clearing surrounded a thick ring of oak trees. Neither night nor day, the sky was colorless and filled with stars in the shape of trees. A haunting tune filled the air, sung by a bird whose voice she didn’t recognize.

There was no snow on the ground and it was warm¸ so Luna examined her wells. The [Pumpkin Witch] teared up at the fact that they no longer felt brittle. Relief flowed through her, even though her source of power was rather depleted. Sinking to her knees, Luna closed her eyes and meditated as best she could. Her magic was far away but came quickly, filling her parched wells. How long she stayed like that she didn’t know, though the bird had long since stopped singing by the time she was done.

“As pleasant as it would be, I can’t stay here forever,” Luna said. She inclined her head toward the trees in a sign of respect. “Thank you for letting me meditate.”

Standing up and tightening her fingers around her lance and shield – her hands didn’t ache anymore – the [Girl-Who-Saves-The-Day] shivered as she took a tentative step forward. It was not her first along the ancient and well-trod path belonging to those who carry light into darkness, nor would it be her last, but it was decidedly the next, and the [Pumpkin Witch] knew it.

The first arrow – tipped with a head that laughed as it flew through the air – hit her shield before she took another, and the force of the blow was such that Luna was sent stumbling backwards.

Two more projectiles came from opposite directions, and Luna danced back as she blocked one and dodged the other. Her shoulder ached from the force of the blow she’d stopped.

“You’re not bad,” a deep voice said. Muscular and dressed in a green tunic that was embroidered with leaves of silver thread, a man carrying a longbow appeared in the trees to Luna’s left. He had a pointy brown beard and silver eyes that didn’t look entirely human.

“I really thought that third one would get you. Most of your kind don’t see it coming. But then, I guess your eyes aren’t quite like theirs, huh?”

He was smiling, and Luna spun around as another laughing arrow whistled toward her from the opposite side of the clearing. She caught it on her shield and stumbled back once more. Each blow she blocked was more difficult than the last, which was not exactly a good sign of things to come.

Her heartrate quickened, and Luna’s limbs lightened with every passing moment.

“Not bad at all, Witch,” the man said. “Do you have any other tricks, by chance? I’m afraid I’ve grown quite bored here in this quiet corner of the continent. Some entertainment would be greatly appreciated. If you would be so kind?”

Another arrow chuckled toward her and Luna blocked it. The head of the weapon pierced her shield, and she found herself staring at the most bizarre-looking face she’d ever seen. Somehow, facial features had been stretched over the arrowhead, and the terrifying visage grinned up at her as it quivered below her forearm.

“That was close,” it giggled. “Just a bit higher and I would have had you!”

Luna didn’t answer. Raising her lance, she shattered the arrow’s shaft, silencing the disturbing thing as its splintered halves hit the ground. The dirt sizzled around the arrowhead; it’d been poisoned with something nasty.

Turning to the man and meeting his gaze, Luna raised her weapon.

“Didn’t realize we were playing horseshoes,” she said. Taking a deep breath, Luna reached into her wells and pulled out as much power as she could handle. Show yourself, she thought.

There was a tinkling sound and a second bow – this one without anyone holding it – floated into the clearing behind her.

Luna bared her teeth in a savage smile.

“A trick? That’s not my way, but I’ve got something you’ll think is a treat. [Greater Pumpkin Magic: Cataphract]!”

Light filled the clearing.

Luna and Holly's Character Sheets:

Luna Redhenny:

Primary Class: Pumpkin Witch (Sarah Redhenny), Level 32

Secondary Class: Tailor (Sarah Redhenny), Level 12

Tertiary Class: Girl-Who-Saves-The-Day (Citizens of Oar’s Crest), Level 5

Might: 38 (-1)

Wit: 27

Faith: 25

Loyalty: 34

Adventurousness: 33

Guts: 34

Hope: 22

Stealth: 8

Charisma: 25

Inspiring Presence: 6

Leadership: 4

Holly Sacre:

Holly Sacre

Primary Class: Snowmancer(Self), Level 29

Secondary Class: Good Girl (Neve Sacre), Level 18

Tertiary Class: Surly Sidekick (Luna Redhenny), Level 5

Might: 33

Wit: 31

Faith: 9

Loyalty: 12

Adventurousness: 31

Guts: 44

Stealth: 19

Charisma: 10

Greed: 28

Ambition: 29

Pride: 31

Manipulativeness: 4

Reflected Glory: 6


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