Dungeons Are Bad Business

Adventurers were waiting outside the gate to Westown when Vee arrived the next morning with Alforde and Reginald. They carried practice weapons and extra supplies, and several of them were already discussing tactics and techniques. Clearly, their impromptu sparring club hadn’t been a one-time thing.

Vee wasn’t sure what to think as he looked at their faces and bright eyes. On the one hand, it was good that they were so enthusiastic, and it probably spoke well to the future of the guild branch in Oar’s Crest – not to mention Crestheart’s long term demand prospects – but on the other it was really inconvenient for him that they were probably going to ask Alforde to join them again and that the armorsoul would likely do so. How was the [Dungeon Master] supposed to talk to his friend if the armorsoul was batting low leveled adventurers around all evening?

He looked over at Alforde. His [Right Hand Man] was waving back to the adventurers and chatting as they told him about their new skills and ideas, but in addition to the flexing of his gauntlets around Slammy’s handle, Vee could hear an…impatience in his friend’s responses.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Vee shook his head and tried to will away his headache. Even two cups of coffee hadn’t taken the edge off, and he shivered from more than just the cold.

Maybe it was for the best that Alforde would probably be sparring after the dungeon runs today. Despite all his concern, Vee still wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted to say, or how he even wanted to broach the subject in the first place. ‘Hey, do you think your class is messing with your personality?’ didn’t really feel like the best way to bring it up.

He’d never been good with stuff like this, but he vowed that he’d figure it out.

The gate slowly creaked open and Vee waved to the [City Guards] as they made their way down the long stretch of road leading to Crestheart. His Light Section was still keeping it clear, as well as clearing out the buildings behind the walls on either side of the street. Eventually, Vee would have the Medium Section go through those and make sure they were safe, then he’d make a request to the council for the walls to be moved back. Eventually, he wanted the gate to be able to stay open all day and night. Having longer workable hours would be a good thing once the weather started getting nice again.

At Crestheart, Vee took Reginald up to the office while Alforde stayed down on the street to work with a few of the adventurers before the day’s runs started. Vee heard his friend’s laughter as he trudged up the stairs.

Reginald summoned his strange arms of yellow energy and read over the adventurer applications for the day. Vee heard his [Majordomo] muttering, and when he listened carefully he realized that Reginald was trying to come up with jokes and nicknames for the runners.

Shaking his head, Vee reached through his bond with Do, and made sure that all of the dungeon traps and platforms were good to go before turning to the rest of his own morning duties. Normally the entire process of calibrating the knobs and dials on his board only took a few minutes, but because the [Dungeon Master] was so tired it took almost half an hour.

“Probably best if you go to sleep early tonight,” Reginald said as Vee gave the signal for the door to open for the first run to start. “Unless you and the big guy are having a heart to heart. Wait, does he even have a heart? I thought it was all smoke in there?”

Vee yawned but didn’t reply. Reginald waited for a moment, clearly wanting Vee to tell him what he’d decide to do, but after Vee faked a second yawn, the hat got the hint and got busy with his [Announcer] duties.

“Welcome to Crestheart, Adventurer! Enter the dungeon, if you think you’re strong enough!”

A level 12 [Mace Afficionado] was up first. He was a big guy – more fat than muscular – but he’d done a good job punching through minions the day before, so Vee went ahead and used a charge of [Boost Drops], even though doing so somehow made his headache worse.

The room was spinning a little bit when he finished. Vee took a deep breath, unsure as to how he was going to make it through the day while using his skills.

Maybe he’d nap after using up his charges of [Boost Drops] and let the dungeon do its thing? That sounded really nice, actually.

Behind him, Dheart made a strange noise and Vee looked over, blinking several times to make sure that what he was seeing wasn’t just his tired eyes playing a trick on him. The dungeon heart was flickering with white light and shaking more than normal. Vee slid his chair back a few feet.

“Uh, Dheart? You okay?”

A rumbling answered him and then the dungeon heart’s staccato voice filled the room. “Yes, Master. All systems are working within normal activity ranges. According to my calculations, Crestheart is on the verge of leveling up again. It’s been getting closer ever since we added the most recent floor. I expect that it will do so following the day’s runs.”

That was something, Vee thought as he slid his chair back to its normal position. He flipped a switch to activate the moving platforms in the next room and watched them for a moment to make sure that they were moving along their paths properly. Sometimes they needed a minor adjustment during the day’s first run. Once he’d confirmed that they were working right, the [Dungeon Master] sat back to watch the adventurer’s attempt.

Surprisingly, the [Mace Afficionado] had yet to swing his weapon a single time. Instead, the chubby adventurer relied on a guard skill he hadn’t had the day before that Reginald identified as [Mace Shell]. It surrounded his body with a shimmering orb that looked like a mace’s head with spikes and everything. Like a [Thorns] or [Reflect] spell, it returned damage taken to the source regardless of distance, which meant that it was devastatingly effective against Vee’s remaining skeleton archers and mages, as their ability to take cover didn’t have any effect on their own attacks.

The [Dungeon Master] watched as the pulsing waves of translucent gray light caused his last couple bony underlings to shatter and crumble into dust. He sucked in a deep breath.

“Come on, come on,” he said quietly. “[Lesser Rebuild], let’s go! Fifteen percent, one time?”

The piles of bone didn’t rebuild themselves and Vee cursed.

“Never lucky,” he growled, pressing a button to send spikes at the adventurer from the sides of the room a lot harder than he probably needed to. “Now this room is basically undefended.”

“We can try and fill it with some slimes and ghosts,” Reginald said. “Or maybe install a bunch of ghost hands? We could rig them up to throw projectiles and give them ice balls or something. You’ve been talking about doing that forever, so it’d probably be good to finally get around to it.”

“That’s an option,” said Vee. He had definitely mentioned that idea before, yet it was still undone. It’d probably be a good idea to tying up that particular loose end. But then, he had a thought!

If he was going to go through all work to make sure that they could properly throw snowballs, why not attach it to something bigger? This was a great time to experiment! It was just like restaurants adding mushroom dishes to their menus when the price of meat went up!

He could hear the voice on the crystals now,

Struggling to gain experience in the dungeon due to the lack of expendable minions?

Try our new offering, the mini boss, today!

[Devious Mind +1]

[Plotting +1]

Vee’s notebook was filled with sketches of circles, cylinders and cones by the time the last adventurer finished for the day and three different small scale models made of ectoplasm sat on his desk. His headache was almost gone, thanks to the fact that he’d been so excited about the potential for his new project, though he was sure a different type of one would take root once it came time for him to actually start working on the full size creation: a giant snowman he was calling Mister Chills.

It'd be Crestheart’s first mini boss, and though there was still some work to do on designing a fight that wouldn’t be likely to end with the destruction of his efforts, Vee was looking forward to the prospect. He was fully aware of the fact that his creation would probably be a haphazard, slapdash thing, but that was fine for a first effort.

Sucking at something is the first step to maybe sort of not being terrible at it, Vee thought.

Alforde brought up the day’s payments and helped Vee count the fleurs as he always did, and the [Dungeon Master] noted that his friend seemed a little less on edge. He’d had eleven battles that day, thanks to the fact that there were hardly any minions to slow the adventurers down. Most of them were over quick, but a clever level 13 [Grave Digger] almost squeaked out an upset thanks to her unsettling ability to burrow into the ground for a brief period of time and pop up somewhere else.

Vee put the last fleurs into the appropriate chest and summoned Cecil to make note of the day’s total.

“Let’s see, today we ended up having thirty-six adventurers run through the dungeon who paid for all the floors, so that’s…almost twenty-five hundred silvers. Then after deducting taxes and estimated minion replacement fees, we’re adding…roughly twenty one hundred silvers to the coffers.”

That was good. The new floor was definitely boosting the dungeon’s earning power, but the shards of chaos situation wasn’t good at all. Due to the minion shortage, they’d only earned three that day, even with all of Vee’s uses of [Boost Drops]. You couldn’t boost something that didn’t exist.

To get the next floor would cost two hundred and sixty, so it’d be a while until they could expand again and Vee couldn’t help but worry that they’d have a tough time keeping up with their repayments as the weeks wore on and the fees scaled up.

He cursed the bandits once more for preventing him from getting minions.

Like he didn’t have enough other things to deal with.

“What are these? They look so cool,” Alforde said as he clapped his gauntlets together and picked up the first snowman prototype. It was a brawler type, with huge shoulder and an angry expression.

Vee smiled. Alforde was acting like himself again, and the [Dungeon Master] wondered if his [Majordomo]’s assessment of the [Dungeon Champion]’s mental state had been incorrect. Maybe it’d just been a bad few days?

He couldn’t tell. That was what was so frustrating about class lore. It was murky and hard to be sure of anything, unless you yourself had a class dedicated to it like [Class Scholar]. Vee did not, so he simply resolved to keep a close eye on his friend in the days and weeks to come and act as necessary.

“There’s just one thing I think they’re missing,” Alforde said, oblivious to Vee’s internal quagmire.

“What’s that?”

The [Dungeon Champion] chuckled. “Some flair. You know, some style. No matter which of these archetypes you pick, make sure you give it some big gloves, or better yet, a cape! Everything is better with capes!”

For emphasis, he flourished his own and spun around, sending a chill through the air.

“Capes are overrated. I think a top hat would look better,” Reginald said with a laugh, and the trio spent a few minutes cheerfully bickering about different aesthetics for the mini boss while Alforde loaded the fleurs into the vault.

As soon as they were done, a popup appeared before Vee’s eyes. Just as Dheart predicted, Crestheart had once again leveled up.

[Congratulations, Crestheart is now a level 3 dungeon!]

[You can now activate an additional dungeon aura! All other dungeon auras can be made more powerful by using shards of chaos. See your dungeon heart for details!]

[+1% chance for minion skills to activate!]

[You may now choose one of the following perks to make your dungeon more powerful!]

[OPTION 1: Crystal Cache (2500 count)]

Utilizing traps or other dungeon devices that require crystals? This collection of 2500 C-Rank crystal bases can be enchanted to serve whatever purpose you need. Also comes with a set of Lindlestock engraving tools. Selecting this option will increase your chances of being offered other cache perks at higher levels.

[OPTION 2: Portal Gates (4 Pack)]

This set of four gates can be used to teleport objects across spaces in the dungeon. Perfect for creating secret nooks and crannies for your adventurers to find, or for kicking off an existential crisis at the question of if the person who enters the portal is the same one who comes out! Even we don’t know the answer! Portal gates must always be connected in orange and blue pairs. Selecting this option will increase your chances of being offered other dungeon device perks at higher levels.

[OPTION 3: {Mana Battery Talisman}]

A piece of equipment that can be worn by anyone capable of magic, this talisman boosts the spellcasting endurance of its wearer so long as they’re inside the dungeon, allowing a greater number of spell skills to be used. Selecting this option will increase your chances of being offered other dungeon equipment perks at higher levels.

[Please note, all perk deliveries are subject to delivery conditions, and may not arrive for some time after being selected.]

Vee frowned. He showed the notification to Reginald and Alforde.

“What do you guys think?”

Alforde shrugged but Reginald snorted.

“They all suck, Boss. Any way we can reroll them?”

Now that was an interesting question.*

*The answer is no. For now.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 28

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 17

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 5

Might: 12

Wit: 31

Faith: 21

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 13

Plotting: 17 (+1)

Charisma: 12

Devious Mind: 21 (+1)

Leadership: 16

Guts: 12

Intimidating Presence: 9

Citizenship: 20

Public Relations: 5

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 21

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 12

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 14

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 3

Might: 37

Wit: 12

Faith: 25

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Endurance: 17

Intimidating Presence: 13

Heart of a Champion: 8 (+1)

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Vigilance: 5

Vanity: 2

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 40

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 14

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 7 (+1)

Might: 1

Wit: 32

Faith: 11

Ambition: 26

Greed: 22

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 35

$#&*!@!!

Loyalty: 45

Patience: 9

[#&%%%@%!#@__--#%]

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 7

**************