Dark Seduction

Chapter 17: Chapter 16



Diary Entry 

October 30, 2020

Dear Diary,

The surprising thing was that after my makeover, I turned more heads than I had ever turned in my entire life. And I was glad—the sense of feeling pretty helped dispel the urge to turn around and go home. The downside, however, was that I was gasping for breath because the corset was too tight. But it gave the illusion of being thin, so I endured it.

Then I noticed something very unfortunate. Yes, I was pretty, but I was still self-conscious. Worse still, my best friends had different classes than me, and unfortunately, I had the same class as none other than Pamela. 

I wanted to do anything but attend that class. I didn't even want to go through that door once I spotted her. For once, I wished my friends were here. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on being mad at them for their silent insults earlier and the way they looked down on me. I tried to swallow the bile rising in my throat, suddenly feeling nauseated. 

Not only that, it was hot, and as I sat in the cramped space, the stench coming from hormonal teenagers was overwhelming. I breathed slightly through my open mouth and said nothing. I had to endure it. Since moving to this town, I had not quite been accepted, so I guessed it had to do with the fact that I hardly had lunch with anyone and spent most of my time in the library.

As soon as I stepped into the classroom, I was met with a death glare. Ignoring it and pretending I didn't notice, I quickly sat in an unoccupied seat and proceeded to bore a hole into the board with my eyes. I had made the terrible mistake of telling my mom not to send the driver; I decided to come home myself. Let's just say that was by far the worst mistake ever. A hundred pairs of eyes were staring at me accusingly. 

I sat there, feeling minuscule, probably the only one not in a pair, and the recipient of such unwavering attention. Flinching, I ignored them once again, waiting for the teacher to arrive. Then, all of a sudden, a flying spitball hit me on the face. Even if I have to say so myself, that was the most disgusting day of my life. 

I managed to wipe it off with my handkerchief, keeping the bile down, then got up from my seat. The incessant chattering had ceased, and all eyes were on me, watching, waiting for my next move, judging. 

"Who the hell threw that spitball at me?" I demanded. Plonk! Another, larger one landed right on my head. I was so angry, but let's just say that was a big mistake. Suddenly, spitballs were flying all over. Phone cameras were flashing, capturing my utter and degrading experience. My humiliation was documented and, worse still, I had finally attracted the attention I craved—but not in the way I had imagined.

That was when Pamela decided to act, further subjecting me to more suffering and humiliation. For the first time, I longed for my mathematics teacher to arrive on time. But he was late, as usual, and Pamela seized the opportunity to make my life a living hell. She walked up to me with a smirk on her face, flanked by her posse, who were giggling like they had front-row seats to the best show in town.

"Nice outfit, Leila," Pamela sneered, looking me up and down. "Did you raid your grandma's closet?"

I stood there, frozen, trying to muster the courage to say something—anything—in my defense. But the words wouldn't come. All I could do was stand there, feeling the sting of tears in my eyes, knowing that if I cried, it would only make things worse. Pamela was relentless. She reached out and tugged at the corset I was wearing, making it even tighter. I winced, feeling like I was about to pass out.

"What's wrong, Leila? Can't breathe?" she taunted, her voice dripping with fake concern. The classroom erupted in laughter, the sound echoing in my ears, making me feel even smaller than before.

I wanted to disappear. I wanted to run out of that classroom and never come back. But my legs felt like they were made of lead, and I couldn't move. I was trapped in my own personal nightmare, and there was no escape.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, Pamela grabbed a bottle of water from her desk and dumped it over my head. The cold liquid soaked through my clothes, dripping down my face and mixing with the tears that had finally escaped. The laughter grew louder, more vicious, and I knew in that moment that I would never live this down.

"Oops," Pamela said with a mock gasp. "Looks like you're all wet. Maybe you should go home and change. Or better yet, just stay home. No one wants you here anyway."

The final blow landed squarely in my chest, knocking the wind out of me. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. All I could do was stand there, shivering, as the humiliation washed over me in waves. I had wanted to be noticed, to be accepted, but not like this. Never like this.

The bell rang, signaling the start of class, and the teacher finally arrived. But it was too late. The damage had been done. I slunk back to my seat, dripping wet, and tried to make myself as small as possible. The teacher droned on about some math equation, but I couldn't focus. All I could think about was how I would get through the rest of the day, how I would face everyone after what had just happened.

When the class finally ended, I bolted out of the room before anyone could stop me. I ran to the bathroom, locking myself in a stall and letting the tears flow freely. I had tried so hard to fit in, to be someone I wasn't, and this was the result. I had never felt so alone, so humiliated, in my entire life.

After what felt like hours, I finally composed myself enough to leave the bathroom. I avoided everyone's eyes as I made my way to the school entrance. I didn't care about the rest of my classes. I just needed to get out of there, to go somewhere—anywhere—where I could be alone and lick my wounds in peace.

As I walked home, still drenched and shivering, I realized something important. I had been so focused on trying to be someone I wasn't that I had lost sight of who I really was. I had let other people's opinions shape me, mold me into something I didn't even recognize. And for what? A few moments of fleeting attention? It wasn't worth it. None of it was.

From now on, I'm going to focus on being true to myself, even if it means not fitting in. Because the truth is, I would rather be alone and happy with who I am than surrounded by people who only accept me when I'm pretending to be someone I'm not. It's going to be hard, but I'm done living my life for other people. I'm going to start living it for me but I knew they were just empty words, I was too much of a people pleaser to ever stand up for myself, I knew when my friends talked to me as always I would definitely cave because I never wanted to lose them, they added some meaning to my existence and actually acted like I mattered.


Tip: You can use left, right, A and D keyboard keys to browse between chapters.