Complaints: Working At A Store That Sells Gender-Swapping Products

Dee reached over, grabbed his pad of paper, and asked first, “Receipt?”

The customer sighed roughly and dug out his wallet. Korri creaked her chair and tapped the side of it like a drum.

Picking through his wallet, the man grumbled with exasperation and asked, “Why do you need a receipt anyway?”

Dee stretched over to tap a laminated piece of paper affixed to the counter and said, “Store policy. It’s just standard.” The paper had the normal policy notes but also included a few that mentioned ‘incidental consequences’ where the store was not culpable. 

“I bought this here.”

Dee gave a nod, which he tried to keep from looking skeptical. It lacked the automatic mask of enthusiasm from a few hours ago. 

While the customer checked for the receipt, Dee searched through the store catalog for pillows. He kept to the mental effects section and eventually found an index text listing that touted a product with the ability to give gender-bending dreams. It was available in many colors. One color matched the item in the customer’s possession.

With an “Ah-ha!”, the customer slammed down a receipt on the counter. Dee unrolled and straightened it. The receipt was well over ten months old. The name charged was Josh Ford.

While all products were covered by a one-year return policy, Dee suspected ten months was a long time to wait to figure out if something wasn’t working. 

Dee inquired, “So…the product never worked?” Korri tapped her legs.

Josh unwound a tale of an ex-girlfriend whom he’d bought the pillow for. He said he never realized that the product was of a gender-bending nature. He got it for her because she wanted it. 

He claimed that his girlfriend slept on the pillow for several months when they were together. When they broke up, she left the pillow behind. He was able to find the instructions with it, so he decided to give it a try.

Dee narrowed his eyes. “Isn’t it really hers? Why not just mail it to her?”

Josh leaned forward. “That’s really none of your business, is it?”

He stretched his hands and nodded. “Right. Okay. I’ll reimburse you for the cost of the product and we’ll check for defects.” Dee went over to the register and filled out the proper forms. Korri stretched her ankles. 

Josh accepted the money and Dee used his tongs to set the pillow aside. A quiet moment passed before Josh asked, “So, what now?”

Dee gestured down the hall. “Now, you go find one that works…or you take your money elsewhere.”

Josh frowned. “I’d like to find one that works. Do you have a catalog?”

Dee lifted up and set the catalog on the top of the counter. He flipped to the Home Products section, skimmed to the Bed sub-group, and checked the index for ‘dream’. 

Josh leaned over and inspected some of the pictures. He pointed to something and declared, “That looks cool.”

Dee flicked his eyes over to where Josh was pointing and said, “You don’t want that.”

Josh snorted and pressed, “How come?”

“It’s a feminization pillow. Each time you sleep with it under your head, you will be mentally-altered to a…as judged by the product-maker…more feminine mentality.”

“Yeah…that would be weird. Nah, I just want the dreams…nothing that’ll show up physically.”

Korri adjusted her top, which caught a glance and a smile from Josh. He leaned towards her side of the counter, gave her a once-over, and asked, “You work here too?”

Wearing a blank expression, Korri pointed to her name tag. 

Josh narrowed his eyes. “Huh? Can’t you talk?”

Korri narrowed her eyes too and told him, “Yeah. I work here.”

“What do you think I should get?”

Korri stared. After a moment, she answered, “I usually work on the other end of the store from housewares and bedding. But, I did see this one thing once. I dunno if we still carry it though.”

Josh listened and nodded, noting, "This place carries a lot of things.”

With an arch of her eyebrows, Korri answered, “I suppose. A lot of crazy stuff. I don’t know why it’s all so popular but it’s a job.”

Dee looked over and loudly-ruffled a few pages of the catalog. Josh kept leaning away. His eyes lingered more on Korri as he said, “Yeah. People around town talk about it. They say the owner is like a wizard or a witch.”

Dee raised an eyebrow and looked at his notes. 

Korri sat up but her mood was still relaxed as she offered, “It feels like that sometimes. She’s more of a mad scientist, I guess. Shame we don’t get hazard pay.”

Josh nodded and asked, “You ever get your gender flipped?”

Korri’s shoulders tightened and Dee covered his mouth. She answered, “Actually, quite a bit.”

All pretension of checking out the catalog seemed gone as Josh was on the other side of the counter with his eyes on Korri. Despite herself and her normal inclinations, she gave the small, flirty smile.

Josh brushed his beard, nodded calmly, and added, “Bet that must be weird, Korri.”

Korri leaned forward and shrugged. “Weird happens here a lot. It’s kinda lost its meaning.” Her eyes lingered on his muscular arms, huge but hidden in the sleeves of his blazer. He thrust his head over the threshold and burst forth with a laugh which surprised Korri and almost made her jump.

She quickly glanced away as he gave her a smile. Still, he pushed himself further over the counter. He almost seemed to be on top of her. 

Suddenly, Dee rolled his chair over to Korri’s side. He slipped his arm around Korri’s shoulder and pronounced, “But at least we have each other...in the midst of all this weirdness.”

Korri’s expression shifted from surprise to relief. Josh immediately leaned back and gave a nod. He cleared his throat and asked, “So, you find something that’ll do the trick?”

Dee, who still had his arm around Korri, nodded and smiled. Korri gave him a nudge with her elbow when Josh turned away and Dee moved over to grab the catalog.

He held it up with his hand on his hip and said, “I found just the thing.” He bent his thumb over a pillow with a lighter shade of pink than the one the customer had returned. Josh squinted at it while Dee explained, “Programmable dreams of the variety…you’d expect from our products. There’s a remote included. The nanites do all the work and there are no conscious consequences. It’s the same product except the user-programmability makes this one a superior product. According to my records, this one is most certainly in-stock.”

Josh nodded and looked at it. He asked, “The same price?”

Dee shook his head. “There is a twelve dollar difference in price from what I paid back to you.”

Josh snorted. “Well, that sucks. What happens when this one doesn’t work and I need to bring it back?”

Dee took a deep breath. “All our products are guaranteed for a year with in-store return for full cash reimbursement. And various products are also covered by manufacturer warranties upon registration with the original manufacturer or company responsible for such guarantees, as noted by the documentation included with all our products.”

Josh chewed on his lip, gave a last glance towards Korri's chest, and said, “I’ll think about it and look around. See ya.”

And he was gone.

Dee plopped down in his chair, stretched his arms behind his neck, and said, “The liar. I half-hoped it was another mistake product and he was actually a girl turned into a manly form. But I guess they can’t all be mistakes.”

Korri relaxed her posture. She said, softly, “Thanks. He was kinda…intimidating.”

Dee shut his eyes. “As I said, we have each other.”

A silent moment passed and Dee added, “By that, I mean we’re fellow employees and we look out for each other. And we don’t trick one another into a gender change.” He stuck the tip of his tongue in her direction.

Korri bowed her head and looked away. Softly, she said, “Point taken. Sorry…”

Dee crossed his legs against the back of the counter. “No worries. You okay?”

Korri scratched her arms. “Yeah. He didn’t have any kind of nanite pheromones, did he?”

“Not unless he got them from another product.”

Korri sighed. “Why did I…I…umm..” She glanced over at Dee, who didn’t glance back. 

Another silent moment passed. 

Dee said, “Don’t worry. We’re getting closer to closing time.” He checked his watch. “Ever so slowly…”

Korri scooted her chair over a little. “Do you think the boss would…throw in a mental change?”

“Doubt it. Not without telling you.”

Setting her hands on the counter, Korri nodded and resolved, “You’re right. I just….you know?”

Dee bent his head forward. “Not really, but he’s gone. And there are nicer guys out there.”

Korri narrowed her eyes, glared, and leaned her head forward. “That’s not my worry.”

“You could try flinging a defective pair of ladies' underwear. I have one at the bottom of the returns bin.”

With her chin resting on the counter, Korri reached around to rub her back. “Play with defective merchandise? Uh, no. It’s bad enough I’m stuck like this…I don’t want to see what my luck will give me next.”

She leaned her head over to look at Dee. He sat there, spread out so calmly. He wasn’t the manliest man alive. He had a lot of thick hair on his head and he was so stringy. He looked so young and vaguely-girlish to her sometimes. 

Korri wondered if that was his secret, effeminate enough not to be targeted by the boss. Only she knew that Dee wasn’t the most girlish guy in the store. By far. 

Dee wondered if he still had a candy bar left in the drawer farthest to the right. He didn’t trust any of the vending machines.

Their thoughtful silence was broken by not a single set of footsteps but several all at once. 

A woman, who looked to be college-aged, was first around the corner with two young girls close behind. She was tall with a long, black skirt and a yellow top which looked rather conservative for someone her age. Her full, dark hair was tied into a formal-looking bun in the back. 

The two girls wore over-sized stretch pants and loose tops. Both girls had hair the same color as the older woman. But the girl in the pink top had much longer hair which spilled over her shoulders, her back, and almost touched her legs. The other girl, in a purple top, had much shorter hair in a bob cut. 

The one in the pink top brushed a lock of her hair out of her eyes as she played a game on a pink, portable system. 

The woman stretched over the counter and clutched her hands tightly as she spoke, “You need to help us! We can’t get past level ten…NO!...I mean this game turned both of my sons into girls and it’s making me younger!”