Complaints: Working At A Store That Sells Gender-Swapping Products

Dee picked up the service phone. Florani Tools’ number was handwritten on a 'cheat sheet' right below the keypad. The customer carefully sat with her knees together, blushed again, and watched him hopefully.

Florani had a Byzantine automated system but Dee was soon through the robots and to a human operator.

The operator gave a surprised cough and inquired, “Hm? Oh…Is this Dee?”

Dee flipped his hair back, smiled, and responded, “Who else?”

The operator’s voice was light but sharp, like a pocketknife. “I was hoping you would call. How have you been?”

Dee let his smile go. “I have a customer who had unintended consequences with an item.”

The operator laughed. “The good kind or the bad kind?”

“The kind I often call you about.”

Dee could hear shoes scuffing across the floor. He glanced down the hall.

Out shuffled a tall, blond woman. Her hair was back in a scrunchie and she wore the store uniform. Her foot kicked at a little wad of paper Dee had missed when cleaning. She drooped her head down. Her eyes were bright-blue and the outline of her chest showed prominently through her top. She leaned against the wall and sighed.

The customer leaned forward carefully and seemed about to say something until she noticed the bright-pink name tag attached to the blond woman’s chest. It read “Korri” with a heart dotting the ‘i’.

The customer’s gaze dipped to Korri’s chest. She found herself staring for several seconds and kept staring till 'Korri' noticed. 'Korri' stared back and raised an eyebrow, with her gaze drifting to the obvious plunger on the customer’s chest.

The customer jerked back with a bright blush and apologized, “Ah! I’m so sorry. I was just kinda…testing myself.”

‘Korri’ raised the other eyebrow. “Testing?”

Dee had begun relaying the product information to the operator but smirked. It looked to him like Jeff had walked right into gender-change number eleven. 

The customer brushed her pink sandals on the floor and folded her hands over her stomach. “Well…I was…kinda. See, I was…turned into a girl.” She gestured towards the plunger.

 

Korri mouthed ‘oh’ with a nod and said, “It happens.”

The customer tried a smirk. “I didn’t know that it did. I’ve never been to a store like this before…”

Korri nodded with her lips pressed together. “Well…it is just the one location.”

The customer gave another glance at Korri’s chest then glanced down at her own. “It’s just this…thing seems like it did something to my mind and I was wondering if…if I still liked girls.”

Korri scratched her chin. “And?”

The customer’s shoulders drooped. “I felt nothing much. Just some envy at how pretty you are. I felt more looking at him.” She glanced at Dee, who made a little note on the paper.

Her eyes narrowed, Korri gave a bob of her head, a strut of her shoulders, and cleared her throat. “Well…him…he’s more of a girl anyway. He never gets turned on to or into anything.” She stuck her tongue out at Dee.

Dee rolled his eyes but kept relaying the information on his pad to the operator. The operator soon put him on hold. Dee tuned out the music-filled ad and rested one eye and one elbow. 

The customer looked between Dee and Korri and asked, innocently, “Is he your boyfriend?”

Korri nearly tumbled. The customer grimaced and apologized. Dee covered up a smirk.

After a few breaths, Korri grimaced back at the customer and said, “He…has never even invited me to his place. I don’t even know where it is. He’s just the guy who never winds up turned into a girl while I…” She gestured to herself, pronouncing, “...I should be a guy too.”

The customer opened her mouth wide. “Oh! I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”

Dee narrowed his eyes and made a note on his paper. 

Korri smiled and suggested, “It’s probably the mind-alterations talking.”

The customer nodded back and asked, “Is it legal to have products which cause mind-alterations? I don’t follow that kind of industry. I work as a short-order cook.”

Korri leaned back. “Cool. Ahh... Some of it is still iffy with consumer protections and everything. It needs to have all kinds of warnings. But the boss doesn’t stock a lot of permanent stuff. I’m really glad for that.”

The customer looked down at her plunger, sighed, and reflected, “I hope this thing isn’t one of those. I always have the worst luck. I had to take back three plasma screens which failed within a month of each other.”

Korri winced. “Daang.”

The customer gripped the handle and gave it a gentle tug. Her legs jerked as she gasped.

Dee cautioned her, “Please don’t try to remove the item yet.”

“Sorry…It just…it’s kinda stopped giving me that rush feeling and I wasn’t sure if something was wrong or it was about to come loose.”

Dee spoke into the phone and then answered, “I think I have a clear idea of what you have attached to you. If you pull on it too much…some bad or worse things could happen.”

The customer moved her hands far away from the handle and gulped. “Define ‘bad’ and 'worse'…”

He took a sheet of paper out and told her, “Bad: You could wind up with huge breasts. Worse: Your entire personality could be erased and replaced.”

Her leg suddenly trembled as she asked, “Is there any good news?”

Dee slowly nodded. “Yes. I have a potential fix. But, even if it works, you’re going to remain as you are for a set amount of time afterward.”

The customer took a long breath and looked down at herself. “Okay. I mean I’ll at least have this dumb plunger off, right? How long will I…be a girl?”

Dee bowed his head. “Nine months.”

The customer’s and Korri’s eyes both widened and their mouths hung open. Dee waved his hands. “No. Not like that. Well, kinda. I’ll explain in a minute. I just have to make two more calls.”

Dee called two other numbers on his list. The first was a psychologist he often referred customers to when long-term changes were involved. The other was a lawyer who dealt with legal/identity issues stemming from gender changes. Dee made appointments to both for the customer.

The customer bit on her fingernail until Dee hung up the phone once more. Dee came over with some paperwork and said, “Now, let’s get this thing off of you. I’m going to walk you through the removal procedure. First, never at any point pull on the device. This is going to be tough because there is a mental element at work and it might urge you to pull when you don’t want to.”

He gestured to Korri and asked, “Miss Korri…could you please come over and put your hand in front of the handle as a precaution?”

Korri glared and grumbled, but crouched in front of the customer with her palm out. 

Dee took out a heavy bag and passed it to Korri. He told her, “When the plunger is off, it needs to go in there. Would you like me to explain any further about the product situation and concerns before I help you remove it?”

The customer shook her head and looked down at her breast. “I just want this off. Please.”

Dee nodded and told her, “Grip the handle with your hands bending out. It will press against your chest. Press only as much as you can. It will rise back up. Let it rise till you feel like it’s pulling back on you, then press back down. If all goes well, it should be off and in the bag.”

The customer’s hands quivered as she asked, “What happens if I don’t do it right?”

Dee shook his head. “Don’t think about that. Just think about what I told you.” He mimed what he meant for her to do. She watched and practiced a little without touching. 

Then she nodded her head and said, “Okay…”

She pressed down. Her hands clutched the handle. 

The pressure was uncomfortable and strange but she focused on letting it rise again.

The plunger rose…and sucked on her chest…

She pressed it back down…

She heard a sound like a bubble popping and the plunger came free from her body.

Swiftly, she dropped the plunger and Korri caught it in the bag and sealed it.

The customer let her head droop with a relieved smile. Her smile soon ebbed away as she nervously said, “Umm…I really really really need to use the restroom.”

Dee nodded understandingly and pointed the way to an employee restroom she could use. She ran with her sandals slapping.

Korri raised an eyebrow and stepped away from the bag. “I assume that had to do with the weird-ass plunger.”

Dee looked down at his notes. “It was a contamination of implanted nanites. Mostly from a breast pump. The original device allowed men to…grow and provide for an infant.”

Korri squinted an eye. “Sounds gross…and?”

“And…they absorb, retain, and release fluids.”

Korri stuck out her tongue. “Grosser…”

“Then there were some curse and prank nanites, a swimsuit one, and some others. It was a mess. But the operator had the shutdown procedure. Still, that’s one dangerous product because of the mix.”

Korri shook her head. “Don’t they have better quality control by now?”

Dee shrugged. “Could’ve been someone’s pet project. That’s why the boss always says to scan test every product, no matter how tedious.”

Korri folded her arms and sighed. “Soooo tedious. And what about the nine months?”

Dee finished with some forms and stamped them. “The nine months part of the programming can’t be shut down apparently. It’s a fertility product nanite set. It’s going to hit her with a really loud biological clock. But, I can recommend some doctors, if she wants to find a work-around.”

The customer returned with a relieved look on her face. Dee related the same information to her. She fidgeted.

When he was done, she looked over everything and said, “This is a lot to swallow but thank you so much.” She stretched her arms. “I’m not even worried about the change because at least I’m plunger free…I still do need a normal plunger though…”

Dee wished her well and sent her off with a generous rebate check.

When she was gone, Dee carefully moved the bag over to the “Return to Manufacturer” bin. He sat down and looked over at Korri. She looked back. After a moment of looking, Dee narrowed his eyes and asked, “What…?”

 

Korri smirked. “Wellll…I get to work with you for the rest of the day.”

“Why?”

“Cause the boss said so.”

Dee pressed his chin with his hands. “Shall I assume you’re not wearing an illusion?”

Korri adjusted her top. “Nope…it’s a nanite-body-lock uniform. It’s for…you know.”

Dee added, his voice slurred by his hands pressing on his chin, “For trying to pull one over on me…Come on. I have another chair.”

Setting up a second chair behind the counter, Korri leaned back and stretched out. “So, what’s the time?”

Dee didn’t even look at his watch. “Too long to bother counting and too short to just forget about it…”

A calm lull passed before Dee could hear more footsteps. They sounded rough and heavy, like stomping boots. From the blind corner stepped a muscular man wearing a dark blue blazer and gray pants. His face was clenched. He had a rough beard and short, curly hair on the top of his head. 

Under his left arm, he held a bright pink and furry pillow. He thrust it out and growled, in a tense voice, “This doesn’t work! It’s a piece of junk! I didn’t have a single dream where I was a beautiful, fun-loving girl!”