Blood and Qi: A Vampire Xianxia LitRPG

John sensed Lilly and Hubaba before he exited the plane. Filled with a murderous rage he repressed, he walked up to the waiting group, nodded to Hubaba and Colonel Stoddart, and said to Lilly, “We must talk privately.”

Lilly had an admonished look on her face. And she didn’t excitedly run to him as he exited the plane, so he assumed Sunshine visited her. His semi-mentor had almost as much of an interest in Lilly as he did in Stretch and the world seed.

If Lilly looked as she used to and wasn’t in her new child’s body, John knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from cutting her down then and there, regardless of what he and Sunshine had planned. He forced all the hate and anger down into the pit of his stomach.

Lilly silently led John towards a small building with only two inhabitants. Upon entering the building, she commanded the two soldiers to get out, and they both rushed to do so after seeing the look on John’s face. She turned to John, trying to seem sad, worried, and humbled.

“I’m guessing Sunshine told you Betrayal returned many lost memories to me,” asked John.

Lilly nodded her head and began to cry. She approached John as if to hug him. “Don’t touch me, harlot! Tramp! Don’t ever touch me! I know what you do when you hold me,” screamed John. "I want your head enough, it's hard to control my arm, so be careful."

Lilly cried harder and slunk back as if she were struck. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never wanted to. You realize that, right? I just…I know something’s wrong with me. I need to do things I know I shouldn’t. I need to. I only ever cheated on you in my first body. I was so horny all the time and you never wanted to, especially after our first centuries together. And everyone else wanted me so badly. That really turned me on and made it so much worse, being wanted so badly.

“Just know I killed every single man I bedded. Painfully. For you. My dear heart. The only man I ever loved. The only man that makes my heart content. I love you so much it hurts. Truly. Please. Please. I beg of you. Forgive me. It never happened after the first body. I’ve always been true to you since. I swear on all that is sacred and holy.”

John was too angry, and his heart hurt too badly to accept any of that. “You lied to me so many times. And it wasn’t just the betrayal of our marriage. All the innocents slaughtered you kept from me. The whole thing with Ahn. I never knew I had finally achieved my vengeance against him. And abusing my trust and the mind power. You continued abusing both in your new body. You tried to take my honor and twist me up again by forcing me to bed a child!”

Lilly stopped crying and wiped her eyes. “I’m not a child! But I am sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll never do it again. I’ll never use the mind power on you again. I swear. You don’t know what it’s like, being molested as a child by your own father. It fucks with the mind, big time. Wires get crossed. Chemicals do weird things. In my last body, I was what’s called hypersexual. Just know I’ll never cheat on you again, and I only did because of that body I was in, and what happened to it. I have a little of it in this new body since my new father molested me too, but it’s not like before. I promise.”

Lilly smiled a sad little smile. “You don’t want me as I am? Fine. I’ll never say a word about it again. I’ll wait until you’re ready and desire me. I’ll be ready any time you are. And I haven’t killed any innocents. Other than the once. Those were my own people so that was a different matter, and you already forgave me for that. No wantonly killing innocents. You made yourself clear before, and I obeyed. Just, please, forgive me. I need you so badly.”

John sighed. “You betrayed me too often and too egregiously. I…”

Lilly yelled out, “You killed me! I’m your wife! You swore you’d always protect me, and you killed me!” After that outburst, she began to cry and sob again. “I love you with all my heart and you killed me. I never hurt you. Not physically. And I didn’t want to bed other men. I had to. I had to. My body needed it. I only wanted you and you ignored me. In that way, you completely ignored me. Do you think your hands and mouth really satisfied me? Husbands have a duty too, and you ignored yours. I was forced to do what I did. I would never kill you like you killed me. What's worse?”

John hated how Lilly always had an answer for everything and could so easily twist him up inside. He couldn’t allow it. Not after finding out the extent of her deceptions.

Before John could reply, Lilly said, “I know about the Level Capsules and all the time you spent with that…with Amber. Since we’re being honest, tell me truthfully – you fucked her, didn’t you? I know you did. Just admit it.”

John tried to hold his anger in. He couldn’t. “No, tramp! I told you before not to ask me again. I would tell you if I betrayed you, just as I told you I thought I had killed you when we were first reacquainted in your Mind’s Eye. I don’t lie or keep secrets. I take my vows seriously.”

Lilly laughed, nearly a cackle, and snorted. “Oh, yeah? Tell me about your, ‘buddy-dates’ then.”

“What didn’t Sunshine tell you,” John asked, surprised his semi-mentor would tell Lilly that. Nothing had happened. It wasn’t worth mentioning.

Lilly yelled out, “He didn’t tell me! Amber texted me! And why would she tell me that? Did she feel guilty about something else she couldn’t admit to? If you’re always so truthful, tell me you don’t love her.”

John stammered for a moment. “I…I loved you! All I ever wanted was you. I’m not the one that takes some sick pleasure in the slaughter of innocents. I’m not the one that betrayed our marriage so heinously.”

“You didn’t say it.”

John took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “It would be a lie to say I’m not attracted to her. She is beautiful and you know it. I care for her as a friend and stout companion. Before you came back, I promised to protect her always.”

Lilly began bawling her eyes out. “You won’t say it because you do. You don’t love me anymore. I knew it. Even if you didn’t have sex, being in love with her is so much fucking worse. You could put me under the strongest compulsion and my answer would always be that I only love you. Just you. The man that saved me. That made me strong and treated me like a queen when everyone else…you built me back up. I’ll always love you. I only want you. Only you.”

Lilly continued to loudly cry. John cursed and suppressed his desire to hold her and comfort her. His hate easily won out, and he then had to suppress his desire to draw his sword and cut her into tiny pieces. After a long time of just watching Lilly cry, he made his final decision. He would stick to Sunshine's advice. He said, “I love you. I wish I could turn my heart cold at the thought of you, but I can’t. I love you, but you are no longer my wife. For now. I can’t trust you. I can’t trust a word you’ve said. It will take some time for me to trust you again.”

“Nooooo! Adon, please. Please, no. Please. I can’t lose you. You make me want to do better. Just…just…we don’t have to divorce for real. Please. I fought so hard to get back to you. We’ve been apart for so long. I’ll do anything.”

John hardened his heart. “This is what you must do. Build your trust back with me. And no killing innocents. At all. No killing unless you know I’d approve of it. And you better never use the mind power on Amber or Hubaba.”

Lilly stared at him angrily. Plotting, John assumed. She finally said, “Fine. But you can take no other woman while we are temporarily separated.”

“I can do as I please. We’ll no longer be married.”

“Then I can as well. I won’t be married either, remember? You’re dumping me.”

John laughed as a rage filled his heart and he had to suppress a strong desire to just cut Lilly down and end it. Instead, he said, “True. But I’d never take you back if you even considered taking another man. You betrayed me with more men than can be counted while we were married. I never betrayed you.”

Angrily, Lilly scoffed and snapped out, “You’re still counting what happened in my old body! You know I’m not like that anymore.” Calmer, she continued, “I couldn’t control it then. I had to. I only want you. I will wait for you. For one year, and you will trust me again.”

“What? It will take at least ten years for me to trust you again.”

Lilly’s eyes widened in surprise. “Ten years!? Have you lost your fucking mind? Two years!”

John sighed. “Ten years minimum. Or there is no chance of reconciliation.” He started to turn away.

Lilly yelled out, “Fine. But I’ll prove you can trust me before then. Promise you’ll take me back before ten years if you trust me before then.”

“We’ll see.”

Lilly smiled and rushed forward to hug John. He yelled out, “No!” Looking his former wife in the eye, he said, “No touching. At all. Not until I can trust you won’t do the same to me as you did before. If you touch me, we will never reconcile because I’ll never be able to trust you didn’t manipulate me somehow. I'll kill you then.”

Looking sad and admonished, Lilly said, “Fine. But I already promised I wouldn’t do that to you ever again. You know I wouldn’t. And how am I supposed to drink of you now?”

John’s heart still hurt a tremendous amount. Sunshine may have been right about Lilly being a terrible enemy to have, but that did nothing to lessen the hurt in his heart. He felt if he drained her and cut her head off, his hurt would lessen some, but he knew he wouldn’t feel all that much better. The amount and extent to which he was betrayed, as well as the ways, made him feel little and low, more of a cur than a man.

If truth be told, John was happy Sunshine gave him another path he could take other than that which his sense of vengeance demanded. He hated Lilly. He hated her with a passion that burned like the fire of a thousand suns. But he also loved her. Still. He wished he could make it stop. His heart felt as if it was twisted into a thousand knots, and he wanted to lash out and share his pain with the world.

If it wasn’t for John’s specific upbringing, and his tendency to look down upon other men that became gloomy and grumpy and acted sullen and unmanly over a woman, he would’ve lashed out and shared his pain with the world. Instead, he buried his feelings and tried to be stoic and suffer in silence. As with the pain of a sword wound, no matter how much it hurt, a man ignored it, and pretended he felt nothing, and the same was true for all that caused pain, including pain of the heart.

The only thing John was certain of was that Lilly had to pay dearly for her great betrayal. She had to suffer terribly. Far more than any distress divorcing caused her. Torturing her would make him feel somewhat better, but a small part of him wished they could actually reconcile. That time could skip ahead ten years, skip all the parts where Lilly paid dearly for her transgressions, skip to when she had the body of an adult female, and he could take her back without anyone ever knowing what was done to him and still have some pride. That they’d live life together happily without Lilly ever being a cheater and a mass murderer and all that.

John knew if he began to torture his ex-wife in the way he wanted to, the risk was too high he’d kill her. He disliked the act of torture, but he felt it would be reasonable to do in this situation considering the extent of the betrayal done to him and the depravity of his former wife. Not wise to do, or good, or honorable, but reasonable.

John began to ponder, should I just kill her and have done with it? It wouldn’t be done though, would it? Why can I not purge myself of this foolish love of a woman that betrayed me so terribly? My hate towards her is great, but it is not enough.

John kept thinking back to the last city he founded together with Lilly. As they traveled west to where there were few people and less chance for her to cause havoc, she pleaded with him to go no further. She didn’t want to travel to where there was no civilization at all. She swore she had sated her bloodlust on her own people and would finally stop.

John had gotten an idea of how to fix things. He wanted to try again something he had tried before with the Assyri, and before them, before even Lilly, he had tried with the Hurre north of the Agade peoples. The first attempt went poorly, the second much better, but a failure for his goal. He did learn a lot and had a new idea to try out. An idea that he hoped would cure Lilly.

If John could start a society that valued war above all else, the men were warriors through and through and valued only large and strong women-warriors capable of giving them large and healthy sons, his wife wouldn’t be desired for her great beauty.

Lilly wanted to be desired by all men. She claimed only so she could lead them on and toy with them before torturing and killing them without the man ever once having touched her. John currently knew that wasn’t true, but at the time he hadn’t. Since she was small of frame and stature, in his new city, she would only be desired if she showed prowess in war. If she sated her bloodlust in honorable battle, getting men to desire her in that way, it would be purged from her system in an acceptable manner.

Southwest of Korinthos where the uplanders, the Dori, conquered and fought among themselves, John founded a new city. The locals called him Lakedaímōn and his wife Sparta. His plan worked for some years until Lilly started up again, before even the place and the correct tenets were well established. He left in a rage, taking his wife to the far west and nothing, where she could do little damage and hopefully learn, finally, he had tolerated enough and would tolerate no more.

Things went very well for a time. Things went very well until they went very badly, and John finally took his wife’s head.

It angered John now knowing nothing he did could’ve worked. It was all wasted effort. Even if his plan had worked for sating Lilly’s bloodlust in battle so the men desired her for her prowess, he would have only succeeded in handing Lilly the means to further cuckold him and make him littler and lower. She was an impossible problem to solve. A problem that even her death couldn’t solve.

Many years later, John went back to that same area and was surprised the city he started was still around. It was named after his wife, which had both pleased and annoyed him. The city had even managed to somehow become a decent warrior society despite the tenets he had laid out being warped and strange and mostly incorrect. He lived there while hiding his prowess for many, many years.

Now that I am not hiding, once we are sure Earth is safe, I could found a new city. A city of true warriors. We will put out a call for all the largest and strongest warrior-women. I don’t know how so many men came to grow to such freakish heights in this modern world, but if I am healed enough to have sons again, my sons will stand even higher. Only the largest women shall be my wives and bear my sons. And I will not survive these children.

Thoughts of his sons further dampened John’s mood. He disliked thinking of his children.

Stoddart was supposed to take John, Hubaba, Amber, and Lilly to meet with President Williams, the former vice president. John refused to get into the vehicle transporting them. He had no desire to meet with any rulers after his talk with Lilly. He had yet to explore a modern city that wasn’t filled with dark ones. He decided he’d much rather do that than spend any further time with his former wife or see Amber’s enjoyment at having strangers look at her.

John thought about asking Hubaba to join him but he knew how much the demon appreciated being important and meeting rulers. He couldn’t blame the demon for wanting those things. Scabs were treated as slaves by the chosen and Hubaba was still learning how not to be a scab.

All three of John’s companions protested against him not going with them, and even Colonel Stoddart joined in the nagging. He cared little and walked away after agreeing to take his phone out of his ring and keep it on his person.