Autopsy of a Mind

My sleep was fretful that night. Flashes of my time under Alicia's watch came back to me. But over the months, the faces of the other victims had grown blurrier. I couldn't quite remember what they said exactly, or what they had looked like in their last moments.

I was sitting on the bed, my back leaning on the headboard when the sun peered out from behind the horizon. Sebastian sniffed beside me and his arm dragged across the covers to find the source of warmth. 

He startled awake when he couldn't find me, the sleep completely gone from his eyes as he panicked and looked around. 

"Oh," he said finally when he saw me. "You're awake?" he whispered. 

I hummed as I reached out and dragged my finger through his scalp. "Were you scared I wasn't beside you?" I asked. 

I wasn't amused. I rarely saw him panic and when I did, it made my heart tighten.

"It's just from waking up and not finding you beside me." He offered me a small smile. "I have gotten used to waking up with you in my arms so I get nervous when you are not around."

I knew he was worried about this mysterious stalker. Despite the sketches we had on our hands, no one really fits into that description. 

Yet. 

"Worried that I will run away?" I tried to tease. He chuckled and shook his head. He dragged me down and enclosed his arms around my waist. 

"Get a little more rest. You have circles under your eyes. You wouldn't want those people to think we were doing lewd things all night, would you?" he taunted. 

I rolled my eyes. "No one will think that!" I protested. 

"Of course, they will. I told everyone in the station that I put a ring on our fingers. Everyone knows now and they will definitely think that we won't wait for marriage," he whispered. "Which is true!" he added on, joyously. 

And then we fell silent. "I can't fall asleep," I said finally. "I can't remember their faces anymore, you know? The people who were there with me… the people who died in the same room with me, in front of my eyes. I spoke to those people and I can't really remember their faces anymore," I confessed. 

Sebastian listened to me silently before caressing my hair. "It was seven years ago. Even if it changed your life forever, your brain will not hold on to those acute memories forever. You will remember the pain and the trauma in vivid detail, but slowly, it will filter out details that were not to do with you. What will remain will be the raw emotions."

"But how can I forget? How can I forget?" I felt the heat in my eyes and my vision blurred, his face becoming distant. 

"It's the harsh reality, Evie. We were programmed to only love and protect our family and friends. Most humans remain blissfully unwilling to help others whom they don't know. And really… we don't remember our loved ones after years of their death. We are just programmed that way."

I sniffed. "That sounds so cruel. I don't want to forget, Sebastian. All those people…" I trailed off. 

"It just means that you think you had some hand in their deaths. It is not true, Evie. You had nothing to do with it. No matter what anyone says, no one deserves what Alicia did to them, and no matter what she told you… what she made you believe, you didn't have a shred of fault in anything that happened to you or them. It is their decisions that made this happen." 

I could hear his words. I understood them. But at times, the guilt would come back to me and hit me like a freight train. 

We lay together like that for what seemed like hours and I did catch some sleep. In his arms, the nightmares were obsolete. 

It was a recent development and I couldn't say that I hated it. 

We finally dressed up and left for the high-security prison that Alicia was held at.

The process to get in was rigorous. We had to take off all our accessories, including the engagement ring on our fingers, get scanned through metal detectors, get patted down for good measure, and then questioned our motives before we were allowed inside the reception area. 

A couple of guards made their way over to us and bowed in front of Sebastian, which was not surprising. A lot of high-profile mass killers and criminals were held here. Sebastian had probably visited multiple times for psychiatric evaluations and interviews. 

"Dr. Butler, it's been almost a year since you came for a consult," the older gentleman asked. 

"Evie, he is the warden here. He has been in the facility since Alicia was transferred her. If you want to talk to him and have any questions, go ahead," he urged with a light expression. 

"Miss Lewis, correct?" the gentleman asked. I saw the polite smile on his face and could guess that years of holding power over these highly dangerous criminals had made him cautious. The thing about being in power in such situations was that he was a target for violence and rumors. 

I bet he rarely spoke about himself.

"Yes, Dr. Butler wanted this meeting because of something in relation to me," I affirmed. 

"Yes, he told me that you were working on a case that might need Alicia's help. Though I have no clue what that could be."

And I believed the man. 

"How does she respond to interaction on a regular basis?" I asked as we walked towards his office.

"With the prison guards or the other inmates?" he questioned back. 

I looked around. "This is a co-ed prison, is it not? Is Alicia in contact with male prisoners, as well?"

He blinked. "I'll answer all possible questions you have. With the female prisoners, she doesn't talk much. She does smile and sometimes makes some snide remarks but nothing of importance. She rarely associates with male inmates, but if they try to get close to her, she acts very defensive and gets mildly violent."

"And this violence is provoked by something, is it not?" I asked squarely. 

"Its general flirting or sexual conduct near her." 

I thought about it for a second. "Is it like she has a partner outside whom she doesn't want to cheat on?" I asked. It was a wild guess. 

"I know she doesn't have a significant other, but she does act like she belongs to someone else."

Good, that proved my theory a little. "And with the guards?" I questioned. 

"She is pleasant with the guards. Almost playful. It's like she is on a vacation here."

Like she would leave soon. "So, she doesn't fear anybody and freely calls people out. Has she been kept away from other people or tried to attack anyone?" This was an important question. 

"No. She is a model inmate. Other inmates get into nasty fights, but she never gets involved. It's like these things don't involve her. She did get into solitary confinement once for shouting her lungs out when someone said that nobody would love her."

My eyes widened. "And the person is alive?" That was surprising. Alicia didn't need weapons to kill.

"It was at the very beginning, actually. I think after the first week she was here. She has been impeccable since then."

That was because she was pissed at this accomplice for abandoning her and fancying me. But this was only a theory. Over the years, this man must have stayed in contact for Alicia to be so unmoved by most things and remain loyal to him unconditionally. 

"Did she have any visitors?" I asked. He shook his head. "No visitors? No old friends, people who had a grudge against her. No letters?"

He shook his head. "We get love letters for male serial offenders on a regular basis, but Alicia didn't receive a single letter. No one came to see her except for the psychiatrists and some news channels."

I felt a ray of hope. "Do you have a list of people who came with the people who wanted to interview her and the psychiatrists? Maybe that could help. I could get some connections with the accomplice."

"No one was allowed inside," the man whispered. "She refused to see the news people and the psychiatrists were turned back. The detective who was on the case, Ross Reynolds came once and only Dr. Butler was ever allowed to talk to her after that. She didn't want to see anyone else."

My hope dropped. 

"Thank you for answering my questions," I told him. "Is she already in the room?" I asked. 

"I'll just hand you a file, walk you through safety protocol and have Dr. Butler go into the room to talk to her. Then, I'll lead you to the adjoining room so that you can listen in on the conversation."

I nodded. 

I turned to Sebastian. "Ready?" I asked. 

He smiled. "Of course. Anything in specific you want to ask?" he prompted. 

"You know the answers I want," I shrugged.