A Murder Wizards Adventure

It's been a few months since Yoshino and I broke up, since then a few things have happened, Yoshino and Shikaku got married, I got invited to the wedding and the idea was just too funny for me to turn down so I showed up with Mantis, Yuki, as my plus one, because he's a bro.

The wedding was pretty boring but I got my kicks from introducing myself to the guests as Yoshino's ex. Some of the older people looked mortified when I told them, whether they think it's bad or they think I shouldn't be saying it I don't know or care.

Other than that though, Kumiko got back at me by getting one of her friends, who's a poison specialist, to brew up a poison that left me with erectile dysfunction for a whole month, so that sucked.

Lastly, I've been learning the ways of the Samurai. See, I've got another infiltration mission coming up, and we agreed that the easiest way in would be as a Samurai, so I'm learning so that I can approach them as a Ronin looking for a lord to serve.

As for the Samurai themselves, well they do use chakra, they just don't use ninjutsu, so they are like Murder Wizards but without the wizard. I guess that makes them.. just, Murderers?

Right, so I've been training to be a Murderer and it's kinda lame to be honest. They only use chakra for physical enhancements and for chakra infusion to make their blades sharper and more durable, even longer, extending the blade with chakra, but that is a pretty tough technique.

Right now, I'm heading to my parents' place, because it's been a while since I've seen them and I wonder if Kizashi is even still alive, he's what? Seven? Eight? That seems about right, he should be able to take care of himself, hell, I was killing grown men at his age.

Obviously I don't expect him to be anything like me when I was his age, but whatever.

I knock on the door, already knowing the three of them are home thanks to the joys of chakra sensing.

The door opens and my mother looks up to me in shock and joy before she reaches forward and wraps me in a bear hug.

"Oh it is so good to see you again my little flower!"

I return the hug and smile as she blabbers on about this and that before seating me down in the dining room to talk with dad as she goes back to making dinner. Am I actually here because I couldn't be bothered to cook or go out for food? Unfortunately dad starts talking before I can answer that question, too bad.

"So, son, how is the independent life treating you?"

"Oh you know, it has it's ups and it's higher ups, what about you? Where's the little tyke?"

"Ahaha, life is treating us well, as for Kizashi? He's up in his room reading those comics he likes so much."

Ah, youth, spending your life locked away in your room is the correct way to enjoy youth, unless, of course, you can be a Murder Wizard instead, then do that, always do that.

We continue with inane chatter until dinner is ready and mum calls down Kizashi who comes down the steps two at a time before pausing at the bottom with his jaw dropped, staring at me.

"Sup Tyke, you just gon' stand there or are you joining us?"

Predictably he ignores me completely.

"ONII-SAMA!! You're back! Where have you been? Are you staying? Can you show me some cool Jutsu? Can yo-"

I put a hand over his mouth to get him to stop talking.

"Calm down Tyke, I'm just visiting, I'll show you a Jutsu later if you shut up and sit down now, deal?"

He nods his head frantically but I don't remove my hand because he will probably keep talking anyway and his voice annoys me, only he then sticks his tongue out and licks my palm.

"Eww, that's gross, licking people is gross, don't be gross."

"Teehee."

He even bonks his own head with his knuckles as he says that and I just pretend I didn't see anything and start eating, joining in with my parents conversation as Kizashi gives up on following what we're talking about and starts pushing his food around to make shapes as he eats.

All in all it's a pleasant day, I show the tyke the water bullet Jutsu, having panicked slightly as I forgot that I keep forgetting hand seals, but it all works out and I head home, pickpocketing some people on the way, just because I was bored.

Now a few more days later and my squad is given another mission, just another assassination mission, nothing to write home about.

We head out to the Land of Hot Springs, heading for a rather large town, I know they call it a village but it's a town, with the mission of killing the presiding noble, we were probably hired by a political rival but it's not our place to question the why, we just do out job.

It's night by the time that we reach the edge of the town and stop so that Fox can do his thing, the rest of us just sort of stand around, definitely not awkwardly, as we wait for fox to get an idea of what we will be dealing with

A couple minutes later and Fox is signing his observations.

𝘍𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯, 𝘛𝘸𝘰 𝘑𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘯, 𝘌𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯, 𝘍𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘯

Ok, standard procedure is to assume that the enemy number is around half as much more that the sensors can find, so we will go in with the assumption of twenty one hostiles. At least, with that many Genin, the two Jonin Fox could sense are probably sensei's and I'm pretty sure that Iwa uses five man squads the most, so we're probably dealing with Iwa-nin.

I make sure my team is aware of this fact before we wait a few hours so that Fox can relay patrol routes, then me and Mantis head in to the town while Elk stands guard of Fox.

We sneak through the town, keeping to the tops of the alleys, not high enough to be seen by anyone watching the rooves, but not low enough that anyone out for a midnight walk would notice us.

We wraith through the town and reach the lords manor in no time. We wait for a moment, to let the next patrol pass our location, then, together we enter the building by picking the lock to one of the windows and sneaking inside, closing it behind us and locking it.

If we need to make a swift getaway, the at that point just going through the window would be easier.

Together we stalk the corridors, sticking to the ceiling as maids and butlers occasionally pass below us. Eventually we reach the nobles bedchambers unnoticed. I'm sure the guy has a name but I'm not in the habit of remembering the names of corpses, so Mr Noble it is.

There is no need for communication between Mantis and I, we have done this enough and know each other well enough that we both know our roles here.

Mantis drops down and silently cracks the door open enough for us to both slip in, and does so, as I slip in whilst staying stuck to the ceiling. We got ambushed once after letting our guard down when we got to the target, so now we do this so I can counter ambush anyone who tries, and since I have the Chameleon Jutsu that lets me become invisible, I am the better choice for counter ambushing.

Mantis creeps up to the bed where lay the noble and his wife, presumably, maybe it's his daughter, who knows with nobles. Mantis doesn't waste time and draws a poisoned senbon, he may not use them in combat, but every assassin carries a few around, so that we don't have to make a mess in times like this.

Right as Mantis is about to pierce the nobles artery with the senbon, an Iwa-nin appears behind him, kunai poised for his throat, only for me to then appear behind him, with my tanto poised for his head.

The Iwa-nin reacts in time to duck under my swing and roll to safety, but Mantis didn't so much as flinch even though he felt the attack coming, trusting me to defend him, so he pierces the noble and our job is done, now we just need to leave.

The Iwa-nin tries to start a conversation but I have drilled it into my squads heads that nothing the enemy has to say is important, the only time you should be talking to your opponent is to but time, so never pay attention to what they are saying, just act, and act we do.

I return to the ceiling, still invisible, it's not like this is a video game where attacking or taking an action will dispel it or something. Mantis rushes to engage the Iwa-nin, not that he is really focusing on killing him, our job is done, further fighting is pointless.

With that in mind, rather than going for a sneak attack that might not work, I instead, throw a few smoke seals, and these are special too, I designed them for my Deck of Many Things, the smoke they release is also saturated with chakra, meaning you can't use chakra sensing to navigate it, meaning it actually works against shinobi.

Mantis was expecting it so even if he is blinded, he still knows where to go to jump out of the window, that I have already opened, simply breaking the lock because breaking the glass would be loud and even if our presence is noticed that doesn't mean we should announce it.

Mantis jumps out after me and we start running back to our team, Mantis simply trusting that I am beside me, as I am invisible. It's only a moment later that we are being pursued by seven shinobi, probably all Jonin and there might even be another one that I can't sense.

We make it half way across the town before one of them blurs into existence before us. Great, swift release. Mantis doesn't break stride as he goes to shoulder check the swift user, which is dodged, obviously, but it gives me an opportunity to strike at him while he is off balance.

Which is also dodged. Fucking swift users. The only way to kill the bastards is to make them run to their own death. The delay is enough for us to be surrounded, even if they can only see Mantis, by the way one of them is staring right at me, I think it's safe to say we won't be sneaking away right now.

Oh well, this is what backup plans are for. I release my chameleon Jutsu to free up my chakra, one of them can point me out anyway, and it's not like I can't just reactivate it

The guy from before steps forward with a smirk that just makes you want to punch him in the face and once again starts talking, we let him this time, actually wanting to buy time now.

"Well, well, if it isn't a pair of ANBU, tell me which village you are from and maybe I won't torture you so bad."

Well, how could I refuse such a kind request?

"we're from iwagakure."

His eyebrows twitch and he turns a glare upon me.

"Are you stupid? 𝘞𝘦 are from Iwagakure."

"really? i'm going to have to ask for identification then."

Heh, this is fun, he looks like he's about to develop a sudden aneurysm.

"I am Shibito Azuma and I demand you surrender this instant!"

Heh, he just lost the respect of all of his comrades if their body language is anything to go by.

"sorry but you don't have the authority to give orders to ANBU."

"Kill them!"

Heh, someone's mad. Mantis and I both throw a slew of kunai to our sides and then both of us kawarimi to a pair of kunai next to each other and immediately throw down some more smoke bombs and return to our previous sprint.

Like I said, we aren't looking for a fight. I go invisible and make a shadow clone in my place that has a bunch of explosive seals under it's clothes.

The swift user proves himself to be a predictable idiot and goes straight for the front, where my clone was running ahead of Mantis, my clone which 𝘴𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘭𝘺 sets of it's tags and explodes. See what I did there? Swiftly? Eh whatever, you get it.

I don't think it killed him, but an injury is enough, and not a moment later, a massive wall of fire shoots over us from our front, blocking us off from our opponents. Fox and Elk match our stride as we run out of the now burning town together, another mission complete with no complications whatsoever.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

Only one chapter today. And I mean it this time!! Don't think it will be like all the other times where I said that only to post two anyway! I'm still moving house and I've got to catch a train in a few days.

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