Zafira Moonchild

What’s the meaning of this, an angry voice sounds behind me. Startled, I stop channeling energy, and notice it has gotten dark already. As I turn to look behind me, I feel that my body is sore all over, and my stomach is cramping up.The old lady’s ghost is standing behind me, looking both angry and concerned. Unbelievable, she sighs, when I said that you could try to repair my boat, I didn’t think you’d almost kill yourself doing so. What were you thinking, sitting out in the sun all day naked, without any water or food, and continuously using magic on top of that. I groan, crap, I really hoped that part of myself hadn’t come over with me when I got my new body.

I’m sorry madam, I say meekly, it’s something that just happens to me. My head gets stuck on a certain task, and it’s like the rest of the world just stops existing. I used to set an alarm back at home to snap myself out of it, and make sure that I ate and slept properly. But I had thought it wouldn’t plague me anymore in this new world. I try to hold back my tears, as I look up at the deck of the boat. A big part of the deck has been returned to its pristine condition. At least, I still manage to get lots of work done when it happens, I say, managing just barely to use that thought to avoid crashing into a crying mess. I really, really hoped I wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore.

She looks confused, but I feel her emotions shifting from angry, to sad, to resolved. I see, she says without any outward emotions. At least you are aware of how severe of a mistake you made today. You could have died from a heatstroke, or been killed by a wild animal. I nod quietly. She continues, so you have no control over if and when this happens? I nod again. She sighs, go take care of yourself first, we’ll talk later. I nod, thank you madam for pulling me out of it, I really appreciate it. She waves me off with her hand and I leave.

Ok, Zafira, priority check in time, I think to myself. I need to drink, heal myself, eat something, and find a way to make sure I'm safe the next time this happens. Luckily I have the creek nearby, so I go there right away, quenching my thirst, and laying in the water to relieve the pain of my sunburn. While I start to cycle the energy around me to heal my body properly. I’m actually amazed I can still do that after spending the entire afternoon channeling energy already. It almost comes as easily as breathing now. Way to go hyperfocus, at least something good came from it as well. Well, two good things, I think to myself, as I remember the pristine deck of the boat. I mull over the feelings I felt coming off the old lady when she told me we’ll ‘talk later’. I’m kinda scared, but I also felt she really cared. So hopefully she won’t kick me out for being too much of a bother. I think as I curl up into a fetus position. I’m pretty sure I can survive on my own out there. So it won’t be the end of the world. I try to console myself, as I start crying again. Why is this still so hard for me, I got amazing magic, I’m in a world with unlimited possibilities. And still, the thought of her not wanting me near her, makes me crumble like a souffle. I sigh, and decide to meditate a bit to calm my mind while repeating a mantra:

Let go what was.

Accept what is.

Trust what will come.

It takes a while, but my sadness slowly fades away, and is replaced by resolve. I hope I will be able to stay here. But if I can’t, then that’s just how the cards fall. I’ve only been in this world for 2 days, and I’ve already met two potential friends. Even if it doesn’t work out, new chances will come. As long as I remain true to myself, I’ll find my tribe eventually. Now though, it’s time to gather myself some food, and think of ways I can mitigate the dangers when I get stuck in hyperfocus.

I feel quite good when I finally arrive back at the boat. My hunger is sated, and I have a potential solution to try out after I’ve gotten some rest. But when I stand in front of the cabin door, I freeze up momentarily. Pushing through my insecurities, I force myself to knock on the door. For a second, I’m not sure what I fear the most, to get an answer, or not. But as I hear the now familiar voice say ‘enter’, a wave of relief washes over me. When I enter, the room is back to how it was on the first night we met. And she is sitting at her desk, looking at me with stern eyes. I would have crumbled right there, if I wasn’t also feeling her emotions. Resolve and care are radiating off her in a wave that feels like it could wash me away. I meekly look at the ground, and wait for her to speak.

Judging from the way you look, you fully understand the severity of what you have done today, she says with a flat intonation. I can only nod, and say, yes madam. She nods as well, and continues, and have you given any thought on how you plan to ensure your safety the next time something like this will happen? Yes madam, I reply again, I have some ideas, but I haven’t tried them out yet. I think that it would be better not to use any more magic before I've gotten some decent rest. She nods and grunts in approval, good, looks like you can at least make smart decisions when you’re not engrossed in something. I nod quietly, not sure if that was a compliment or not, but it makes me feel a bit happier nevertheless.

Now, she continues with a stern voice. You've shown me before how strongly you feel about respect by opening your heart to me. This time, you’ll prove it to me with your actions instead. From now on, you’re only allowed to work on repairing my boat for one hour a day. If you lose yourself and do it longer, you will not be allowed to start working on it for a number of days equal to the number of hours you worked longer. Is that clear? Yes madam, I answer quietly, tears of gratitude forming in my eyes. Good, she nods, and her eyes soften. Go to sleep now silly goose, she says with warmth in her voice. Thank you Madam, I say sniffling, and curl up on the floor in front of the door as exhaustion overtakes me, and I fall asleep almost instantly.