Zafira Moonchild

It takes me a while before I manage to calm myself. I truly am ready to start exploring this world. While I’m sure there is much more to learn about magic. I know enough to ensure my safety, and even thrive on my own. But instead of the joy I thought I would feel, my heart feels heavy. If I leave, I won’t be able to see Madam anymore. And even though I’ve only known her for a week, and we barely talked at that, I feel torn inside. I might be able to return to visit her once in a while, but that just won’t be the same. I would trade any comfy bed for being able to sleep on the floor in her cabin. But on the other hand, I know that I cannot stay here. My heart wants to explore this wonderful world, to meet more people, and make many friends. Even if it means losing one I’ve grown so fond of in the short time that we’ve known each other. With both sadness and resolve, I stand up, and dry my tears. Let go what was, accept what is, trust what comes. I find solace as I repeat this mantra while walking back towards the boat.

By the time I arrive, I’ve made peace with my decision. Staying here any longer will just make it harder to leave. I love it here, but I will not give up the possibility of making more friends. I feel proud of myself, for daring to chase my dreams, even if it is hard. So I knock on the cabin door for the last time, and wait quietly. After having gotten permission to enter, I kneel down at her side, and wait for her to speak, while she looks outside through the window.

After a while, she turns to me, and asks, is there something you want to say little one? My resolve almost breaks, she started using that particular nickname for me only a few days ago. And everytime I hear it, my heart melts. But I steel myself, and holding back my tears, I tell her that it’s time for me to leave this wonderful part of the woods, to explore the rest of the world. Her face doesn’t show any emotion, she just says: ‘I see’, as she turns around, to continue staring out of the window.

However, my improved senses and intuition tell me a different story. I can feel it, a sadness as great as mine, radiates off of her. And a thought that I couldn’t even dream of before, occurs to me. Madam, I ask quietly, you loved traveling when you were alive didn’t you? I mean, why else would you live on a boat that isn’t large enough to be a trading vessel? She doesn’t turn to look at me, but nods her head, yes, I loved to travel, she answers with sadness in her voice. I swallow, and take a few breaths to calm myself before continuing. Would you like to travel the world once again? Would you come with me, and see how much the world has changed since then? Instantly, she turns around, looking at me as if she’s staring straight into my soul. The feelings I sense from her are too much in turmoil to make out what she’s thinking. And how would you propose we do that, she asks? While I have some freedom, I’m bound to my resting place. But this isn’t a normal boat is it, I ask. I found its manual while repairing everything. She looks at me coldly, and I feel suspicion taking over her. So, you were after my prized possession after all were you, she says coldly.

NO, I scream, and without thinking, I drop all of my defenses, opening up everything that I am to her. My heart, my feelings, my soul, all laid bare before her. Her eyes open wide, DON’T DO THAT, she yells back, you have no idea how alluring it is to take your body as my own. I wouldn’t mind if you take my body for a while, I reply honestly. As long as you take care of it, and return it to me later. I’m pretty sure I would actually enjoy the experience very much. She looks at me as if I’m insane. You have no idea what you’re talking about, she says. The feeling of being trapped inside your own body, unable to control any of your actions, I couldn’t think of a worse way to violate a person.

If it was done against my will, I agree that it would be, I say softly. But if it’s you, it wouldn’t be. I feel her wavering, as she whispers softly, please, close your soul, I believe you. I do as she asks, and remain quiet, while she once again looks out of the window, I can feel her feelings battling inside of her. My heart beats in my chest like it wants to escape my body. But, I’ve done everything I can think of at this point. Now it’s up to her to decide, if I will leave on my own, or if we’ll leave together.

After what feels like an eternity, I can feel her emotions calming down. I burst with anticipation as she slowly turns around, and it takes a huge amount of effort to keep myself from speaking, and wait till she’s ready to share her decision. My anxiety is probably dripping from my face, cause she just smiles at me, and says, oh little one, does my answer mean that much to you? Yes Madam, I answer solemnly, it does. You can go everywhere you want on your own power, she says, I felt it when you opened yourself up to me. You don’t truly need me or my boat. My stomach drops, as I answer honestly, I would get by yes. But I would leave a part of my heart behind, a wound that would heal over time, but the scar would always remain.

She kneels down in front of me, her hand hovering next to my cheek as if caressing it. I feel the same way, she says quietly. I could remain here, and just enjoy the peace that I hold so dear. But I would miss your presence, much more than I would miss the silence when your inevitable shenanigans disturb my peace. A big smile breaks through my face, as I solemnly swear, I’ll do my best to keep most shenanigans outside of the cabin. That would be greatly appreciated, she says with a chuckle.

Seeing her smile, I cannot hold back any longer, and embrace her with both hands, only to fall flat on my face, as my body moves through hers. This makes her laugh out loud, oh little one, it only took you half a second to break that promise, whatever shall I do with you, she looks at me with clear mirth on her face.

Embarrassed, but not about to let something as little as reality get in the way of a good hug, I attempt a different approach. I close my eyes, and focus on the feeling of visiting the spirit realm, and returning safely. While channeling the energies around me and chanting:

Back and forth, come and go.

From my world to yours.

From your world to mine.

I cross the boundary with a spell.

So I can return healthy and well.

As I open my eyes, the world looks very different. I can still see the cabin, but now everything looks grayish and dark. Except for Madam, who looks solid to me for the first time ever. Her eyes widen, what have you done, she whispers concerned. I smirk, as I once again go all in to give her a big hug.

Only to fall flat out on my face in exactly the same way. Well, I hit the desk this time around, but it appears it doesn’t have much substance in this world as I fell through it without any resistance and hit the floor once again. Well, that sucks, I say, as I will myself to return to my own world. Can ghosts not even hug each other? I ask with an innocent face.

Madam looks at me with a bewildered expression. You …, she mumbles, and after taking a deep breath, continues with a solemn voice, are the weirdest person I have ever met. I give her my biggest smile, as I make a fist pump in the air, yesss, I’m the best, I say with a serious face. At which she just shakes her head quietly, ok Zafira, that’s enough hyperactive squirrel mode for today, I think to myself, as I do my best to once again find my stillness, and calm my heart that is still beating in overdrive.

We both just sit there for a while, enjoying the silence. Until Madam speaks up again, ghosts indeed cannot touch anything, not even each other. That was … one of the things that I missed the most at first. It took me a long time to get over that.

Is there nothing that can touch a ghost, I ask seriously. Wizards and magic can damage us, she says, pure magic is present in both worlds, and can still tear us apart. But beyond that, there’s nothing that I’m aware of.

I think about her answer for a while, till suddenly, a realization hits me. Would you mind if I try something else, I ask. Go ahead, she says, you seem to be very good at doing the impossible. I grin at that, and with a bit of focus, activate my telekinesis. It just feels like a third floating hand, but it is made out of pure magic. Hopeful, I direct my third hand to gently take hold of Madam’s. Her eyes widen in shock, as she moves her hand to softly touch mine. Our palms touch, and our fingers intertwine, as a small tear falls from Madam’s eyes.