You’ve Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale

Chapter 42 — An Interlude; Pickled Cucumbers Are Really Yummy

Edited by DancingDolphinsYo

Guan Shanjin too did not understand how he ended up following Wu Xingzi back to Shuanghe Yard to eat pickled cucumbers.

The little cucumbers, which had yet to fully mature, were a little hard. After being pickled, their crunchiness was still preserved. Chomping on them would whet one’s appetite. Even without other side dishes, they could still finish two big bowls of rice.

The two young serving girls tidied up the table, serving desserts and tea before vanishing completely. How intelligent.

The winter’s evening wind was no longer that cold, and even carried with it a bit of spring’s vigour. Guan Shanjin thought over it for a moment, then decided to just pull Wu Xingzi along. They sat by the rack of cucumbers on stools, drinking tea.

Only when they were about to finish their tea did Guan Shanjin finally ask. “What happened between Mr. Lu and you?”

“Hmm?” Wu Xingzi blinked. Swallowing the pine nut candy and drinking a mouthful of tea to moisten his throat, he then replied guiltily. “I wanted to quickly finish the steamed egg so as to prevent him from feeling unwell. Mr. Lu only wanted to stop me because he was afraid that I would scald myself in my rush… I didn’t think that I would end up causing him to be scalded instead.”

“It was him who got the cook to prepare the steamed egg for you?”

“Ah, yes. Aye, Mr. Lu is so very nice, yet I caused him to be hurt instead.”

That pair of hands was so good looking. For them to suffer an injury for nothing, Wu Xingzi’s heart ached.

“Mn… Teacher has always been very considerate and meticulous.” Guan Shanjin turned his head to look at Wu Xingzi, letting out a sudden laugh. “He’s unlike you. You don’t even care about me at all. Your case of pengornis drawings is so much more precious than me. If I were to lose an arm or a leg, I’m afraid that it still wouldn’t be able to compare to you losing a corner of your darlings.”

“Hey, don’t speak nonsense.” Wu Xingzi’s brows knitted, and he answered seriously. “After all, as a living person, blood runs through your veins. If you were to lose an arm or a leg, my heart would hurt even more. Don’t say such random things. If you repeat them often enough, they will become true.”

This cautious and worried look of Wu Xingzi warmed Guan Shanjin’s heart thoroughly. He could not help but wrap Wu Xingzi with his arms, nuzzling him. They cuddled together like this, and Guan Shanjin tenderly asked what other dishes could be made with the cucumbers in a low voice. Wu Xingzi naturally was very familiar with various methods, and recited them one by one. His gentle voice was even more enchanting than the delicacies he described.

Guan Shanjin carefully listened to each and every recipe with his eyes shut. Wu Xingzi’s voice was neither high nor low pitched, neither agitated nor irritated. He occasionally drawled his words together, with a very strong southern accent. In his native dialect, he sounded like he was singing, the words sticking together like malt candy.

It was said that the words of the Wu people were graceful and light1. Wu Xingzi’s tone was even more gentle and warm, as though he would never flare up in anger.

Guan Shanjin liked this accent.

This sort of accent, when speaking Mandarin, would often meld together some of the heavier stressed alveolar, laryngeal or pharyngeal consonants, sounding rather honeyed and sweet. For Guan Shanjin, a Northerner, it sounded a little effeminate on a man, with the way the words joined together, sounding lazy and indolent.

However, after hearing it for some time, he too got used to it. He especially liked listening to Wu Xingzi chatter away. He would always talk about irrelevant trivial matters, and they were clearly very small issues, yet Wu Xingzi could end up laughing while talking about them. Smiling with a pair of squinting narrow eyes, he was like sunlight dissolving in water. Its edges had been ground away, only leaving its warmth behind.

In these past couple of weeks, he had truly missed Wu Xingzi.

If not for having been swamped with work, he wanted to see this old fellow every day. He wanted to listen to his chatter, watch him eat everything he made with gusto, and cuddle him as he lay timidly and softly in his embrace.

“Wu Xingzi.” Guan Shanjin called out to him. When this name rolled past his tongue, it explicably gave off a taste of sweetness, and Guan Shanjin licked his lips unconsciously.

“Aye.” Wu Xingzi pillowed his head upon Guan Shanjin’s shoulder. His stomach was well satisfied, and the winter sun was warm. Along with Guan Shanjin, this extremely nice smelling darling, embracing him, Wu Xingzi was about to nod off.

“The injury I left on you previously, has it recovered completely?” The moment he finished asking, the person leaning lazily on him tensed up slightly. Guan Shanjin patted Wu Xingzi lightly, speaking hesitantly, “It was my fault then, and throughout these days, I keep thinking about that night. Wu Xingzi, do you think that I hurt you because of Mr. Lu?”

Upon returning to Bastion City, Guan Shanjin had straight away sought Man Yue.

He was unable to fathom his own mind. He had always kept Mr. Lu in his heart, treasuring him. Ever since their first meeting, he had always liked him already. Guan Shanjin was quite aware that he himself was nothing good. Only when he was next to Mr. Lu, was he then able to wish that he would appear as a good man, that he could be gentle and considerate, kind and restrained. That position in his heart was an extremely special one, a place where no one else was able to enter.

Somehow, Wu Xingzi had inexplicably found a completely unexpected space in his heart. It was too peculiar, and it happened entirely out of his control, which made him panic for the first time ever.

“Oh, is that so?” This was the answer that Man Yue gave him before sighing. “Haiwang-gege, even you yourself are unable to discern your own mind, so, who else would be able to do so?”

“You haven’t addressed me like this in a very long time already.” Guan Shanjin laughed, cocking a brow as he pinched Man Yue’s full and fleshy chin.

“I get upset whenever I hear it myself.” Man Yue jerked. “However, Great General, you should go look for Adviser Wu to have a chat. Since you’re unable to not worry about him, there would be many troubles coming up later.”

What Man Yue said was the truth. The person they were going to deal with next was rather troublesome. Guan Shanjin would need to make a decision before placing Wu Xingzi in any sort of position.

Who would have thought that the place they would finally meet would be in Mr. Lu’s abode. Such an issue that was neither big nor small, had instead shaken his feelings for Mr. Lu.

“Hurting me because of Mr. Lu?” Wu Xingzi blinked. He lowered his head, with no response coming from him.

Guan Shanjin too was in no hurry. There were things that he wanted to say, so he would take this opportunity to do so!

“The first time I met Mr. Lu, I was only ten years old.” Guan Shanjin picked up Wu Xingzi’s hand, caressing it. The old fellow’s hand was smaller than the average man’s. Other than having some calluses, it was shapely and smooth, entirely the hand of a scholar.

“You were ten years old? He was your childhood teacher?” Wu Xingzi’s palm itched from the strokes. Unconsciously, he tightened his fingers, capturing Guan Shanjin’s long, slender fingers within his hand.

“No, he can’t be considered that. Before he came, I had already gone through a few teachers. I was born clever, and was exceedingly precocious. The previous teachers either left because they were angered by me, or they left on their own accord, and none of them stayed for long.” Guan Shanjin laughed lightly. “At that time, Mr. Lu himself was also only seventeen, and had just achieved a Juren2 rank in the imperial examination. He is from the same province as my maternal grandfather. Amongst the neighbours, he had some literary fame, and he was also known for his broad-mindedness. Hence, he was recommended to my mother, and then he became my teacher.”

Guan Shanjin exhaled. Wu Xingzi secretly raised his head to observe him. That extremely outstanding and beautiful face was looking into the distance, and upon it was a longing that Wu Xingzi did not understand.

“The first time I saw Mr. Lu, he was dressed in a white robe. He always liked dressing in white, saying that it was a reminder that he should be self-respecting, that he should avoid making mistakes. When a drop of ink falls on a piece of white paper, would you look at the white paper or the ink?” Guan Shanjin suddenly bent his neck to glance at Wu Xingzi. Their eyes met, and Wu Xingzi hunched into his shoulders, feeling a sort of embarrassment about being caught doing something.

Guan Shanjin laughed lowly. “Hmm?”

“What I’ll look at is probably the ink stain on the white paper.” It would be so conspicuous. Even if he wanted to avert his eyes from it, it would be difficult!

“That’s right, Teacher said that too. So he dressed in white, to always remind himself that he should keep himself clean. Teacher said that this was also a way of taking precautions at all times, as by being prepared, misfortune could be prevented.” Guan Shanjin again laughed quietly, shaking his head. “Every step of Mr. Lu has always been planned meticulously, each step taken cautiously, and he has always been unwilling to take any premature risks.”

“Exactly! Seeking peace and not fortune, it’s good to just live a down-to-earth life.” Wu Xingzi believed in this deeply. His days had also been spent tranquilly like this, and he could not help but empathise a little. “Mr. Lu is truly a good teacher, it’s no wonder that you’ll like him.”

“You don’t seem to be bothered at all that I like him?” Guan Shanjin could not help but feel sullen. This person was in his arms right now, how could he still remain so broad-minded? He should at least feel jealous over his pengornis! Guan Shanjin snorted sourly, “Haven’t you ever thought of it before? If my pengornis no longer chases after you, but turns towards Mr. Lu instead, wouldn’t you be upset?”

“But your pengornis isn’t chasing after me either?!” The hand around his waist tightened and held him down, and something hard and bulging ground between his buttocks, scaring Wu Xingzi into crying out in alarm. “Y-y-you…”

“Look, isn’t it currently chasing after you?” Guan Shanjin grinned wickedly at him, his eyes dancing, looking extremely delighted.

Wu Xingzi’s cheeks reddened. He shifted his buttocks, wanting to run, but he was embraced even more tightly.

“Don’t move around randomly, if not, my pengornis might fly into a certain little hole.”

What was Guan Shanjin saying?! Wu Xingzi stared at him, stupefied. He was clearly so good looking, so how could something so obscene come out from his mouth?

Having lived a long time with the troops, Guan Shanjin naturally too had certain habits of riffraff soldiers. It was just that his appearance was too deceiving. He usually never cared about any outsiders, and could not even be bothered to speak more than what was required to them. He looked aloof and noble, like a harsh, bone-chilling wind. When even more obscene words were to pass his lips, they would become enigmatic, extremely profound, or even sound very amorous.

The last part was directed to his lovers. After thinking carefully about it, Wu Xingzi had heard many such obscene words from him, and each was even more shameless than the previous one. How did he only realise it now?

His behaviour lit the flames within Guan Shanjin. Guan Shanjin could not resist leaning over and capturing those two plump, pouty lips. The tip of his tongue dove straight in, sweeping past Wu Xingzi’s sensitive gums, licking across every delicate part within, then twirled around that soft little tongue, suckling and nibbling away.

This kiss left Wu Xingzi breathless and giddy. His slightly trembling body fell limp, allowing Guan Shanjin to have his way with him.

If not for remembering that there were still things he had to deal with, Guan Shanjin wanted to just settle his desires right on the spot. Having not touched Wu Xingzi for half a month, this kiss ignited his hunger. His cock was so hard it hurt, and plastered right against those round and fleshy cheeks, he ground away.

“You… you…” His lips were finally released. Wu Xingzi panted as he tried to protect his trousers, but his limbs were now weak, and his body still shuddering continuously. Wafting around him was the scent of Guan Shanjin, that mix of white sandalwood and orange blossom, as well as a little tang of iron. Wu Xingzi had almost forgotten that Guan Shanjin was someone who carried the scent of blood on him. Having been immersed in the battlefield for so long, this scent had long been engraved in his bones.

Previously, it may be because their days in Qingcheng County were too comfortable, and the smell of blood had faded quite a bit. Now, having returned to Bastion City, returning to his life as the Great Southern Garrison General, he again gave off that sharp, bloody scent, like a huge leopard licking off the blood on its paws. Seemingly lazy and indolent, but in actual fact, that pair of eyes was always alert, and at any moment, it could leap towards its prey.

Wu Xingzi’s trousers were easily removed by Guan Shanjin. Left with the cover of his outer robe, only a pair of fair legs was revealed. Guan Shanjin undid his own trousers as well, and his dripping huge cock slapped against Wu Xingzi’s plump and smooth buttocks, causing the old thing to cry out in shock.

Nibbling on Wu Xingzi’s sensitive earlobe, Guan Shanjin murmured melodiously, “Be good, I’ll remain outside, I won’t go in.”