You are Summoned

Chapter 246. Rules of Hostile Takeover.

Our train chugged along, though I was a bit surprised at how smooth the ride was. I’d only been on the metro train in LA once or twice, the station near where I had lived was kind of too sketchy for me. This mana powered train seemed to ride better than the so-called modern rail system. Maybe we could get something like this installed once Earth was inducted into the system.

After the miles passed by, I noticed the scenery started to change a bit. Instead of scrub brush and desert, there were some groups of stunted trees, and patches of green here and there. The terrain was still relatively flat, but I got the impression we were on a slight incline and climbing in altitude. To my relief, the air was also a bit cooler.

“I’m sure half of you are asleep and not paying attention, so consider this a wake-up call. We’ll be heading into the Branmarr Forest in a bit, and I want everyone to be not only on their toes, but also on their best behavior. There’s cargo to unload at that elf tree village, and I don’t want any itchy trigger fingers to muck things up for us.

“It took way too long to work out a trade deal with those pointy eared weirdos. But anyway, that’s my problem. Your problem is keeping an eye out for Etvart’s next move, whatever that is,” Gorma announced over the loudspeaker. He had cranked up the volume a bit, presumably to make sure we were awake.

I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, Gorma wasn’t exactly specific as to where the threat might come from. Half my team watched the skies, and the rest of us scanned around the train for any trouble. One thing I wondered was why this Etvart guy didn’t just block the tracks and raid the train directly. That seemed like what a logical evil goblin leader would do. Maybe the goblin had some valid reason not to do it, but blocking the tracks seemed to me like the easiest way to end this.

It was yet another of those things I wondered about as a summoned being. I’d rarely get the whole story of what was going on during a summoning, and some things were just head scratchers. Thinking about it for a moment, there was maybe one source I could ask. Right next to the turret was a hatch that presumably led into the train car.

The hatch had one of those metal wheels you’d see on a submarine door in an old war movie. I cranked it open, the wheel squealing loudly enough to tell me it hadn’t been opened in a long time. As soon as I lifted the hatch up, a spear was thrust out of the opening and nearly skewered me.

“Woah, easy there guy, I’m on your side,” I said to one of the goblin guards waiting inside the car.

“Stay up there where you belong, you’re not allowed inside the cars, human,” one of the goblins screeched at me while motioning with his spear for me to get away.

“I’m not trying to get in, I had a question,” I told him.

“You just worry about doing your job, and I’m pretty sure your job isn’t to pester me with questions,” the guard screeched. The guards were, thankfully, not in my chain of command, and the summoner hadn’t issued me any commands to prevent me from entering the cars. No compulsion to obey hit me when I considered the option, so I was good to keep talking to them.

“I just wanted to know if we have to worry about a blockade across the tracks. Won’t Etvart’s Boys do that to stop the train. They could just swarm over us when we stopped, why waste time with harpies and suicide drops from the cliffs?” I asked as the goblin reached up to try and wrench the hatch from my grip. Strength might not have been my best stat, but what I did possess was more than enough to overpower the lanky goblin guard.

“It’s business, you know. The three rules of engagement in a hostile takeover. What do they teach you humans? Everyone knows how these things pan out,” the guard said, shaking his head in disbelief over my ignorance of goblin business law on this world.

“I went to human school, so why don’t you give me the quick version of whatever the heck these rules of engagement are?” I asked. The goblin looked down at his companion, who just shrugged with indifference. They must have been as bored as I was at this point, at least bored enough to continue the conversation for a bit longer.

“You got three rules for a hostile takeover, you know. The first is to get at your opponent by hiring someone else to do your dirty work. Doing it on the cheap and ripping off your hirelings gives you bonus points in the eyes of your foe. Etvart followed the first rule when he attacked with the harpies. Nobody expects the first attempt to succeed, but it’s kind of a nice way of saying, hey there, we’re going to try and steal your business.

“Step two is a direct action by the opposing party. That was them clowns that tried to drop in on us. It’s a chance for the rival boss to flex that he’s rich and powerful enough to throw away resources. Etvart’s attempt had the added bonus of eliminating any slackers in his roster. You can be sure those chumps jumping off the cliff weren’t among the top producers for Etvart.

“If either of the first attempts succeeds, great, you’ve taken over a rival business on the cheap,” the goblin said, pausing for a moment to take a drink from a flask he pulled out of his pack.

The goblin didn’t offer me a sip, and from the noxious fumes coming from the flask, it was probably the equivalent of drinking drain cleaner. Instead of continuing our little talk, the goblin seemed content to suck down more of his toxic liquor. If I didn’t want him to get drunk or poisoned, and falling down the ladder to his death, I’d better move the conversation along.

“That still doesn’t answer why Etvart doesn’t just barricade the tracks. Is this too hard a target for him to take by force? Going against these so-called rules seems like a great way to get ahead of your opponent,” I asked, trying to speed up this goblin business ethics class.

“Bah, you’re just ignorant. Nobody goes all out on the first two tries. That would tell everyone that you’re desperate. Not only that, but it would also be ringing the dinner bell from some other organization to take a crack at stealing your new prize right out of your weak grip. Only a chump or someone with a business on their last legs goes against the rules for a hostile takeover,” the goblin snapped back.

“I hear you, it still doesn’t make any kind of logical sense, but you goblins do business the way you want to, it’s not for me to judge. So, what’s this third step of the takeover, what can we expect next from Etvart?” I asked.

“Ah, this is where it gets good. Now that he’s made the first two takeover attempts, Etvart can make his real play. Don’t let his earlier attempts fool you, Etvart’s Boys have some real numbers and more than a few who know their way around a blade and spell. To make matters worse, for us, Etvart loves to hire mercenaries to throw you off your game,” the goblin said, the look in his eyes made it almost seem like he admired Etvart.

“You didn’t answer what he’s going to do,” I pointed out.

“I’m getting to it, don’t get your wyverns in a twist. The beauty of this last attempt is not only that it’s the most powerful strike, but also where the aggressor can demonstrate his cunning. Nobody knows what Etvart will do exactly, but it’ll be something to see, it will,” the goblin said with gusto.

“Why are you so happy about it? If this attack is a strong and cunning as you expect, you might be killed in the fighting,” I asked.

“Can’t a goblin admire a master of the craft? Etvart’s got a solid reputation, and yeah, he’ll butcher the lot of us if we resist too hard. You’ve gotta remember, Etvart is doing this as a business takeover, not some village raid where you go all scorched earth on everything.

“What we’re counting on is letting your kind do all the heavy lifting. If things turn against you, well, the rest of us can just change sides and join Etvart. It’s a win, win for everyone. Etvart gets to show he’s the most powerful, and we get to keep doing our jobs and collecting our pay. Do you think I really care who my boss is? It can be whoever you want, as long as they’re paying me. Most of the time, we even get an allegiance transfer bonus,” the goblin said, licking his lips greedily with his warty, green tongue at the thoughts of a bonus.

“I’ll keep that in mind. You do know that I have to stay loyal to my summoner. So, if you switch sides, understand that it’s not personal when I have to kill you for being a traitor,” I said, a little annoyed and taken aback at the mercenary nature of the goblin guards.

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that you’ll get the drop on me. You hear that Grizlib? This humie thinks he can take us,” the goblin said to his fellow guard. The two started belly laughing at me as I ended the conversation by slamming the hatch shut and spinning the wheel to lock it in place.

“If we get in a fight, and one of those goblins comes up here, watch them. If they even look at me harshly, be ready to take them out,” I ordered my troops. The goblins may have shifting loyalties, but I was going to do everything I could to get a good rating. Being stabbed in the back by a traitorous goblin was probably not the way to go if I wanted to maximize my rating.