Chapter 93: A Priest and a Paladin Walk Into a Bar
When Bountiful Mother Hammerdown arrived at the tavern portion of the Lucky Bastard, it didn't take her long to find the party reserving a spot at a table for her. It was still a little early for dinner for most, and far too early for the Challengers to begin working on their 'Drunk' class levels for the evening, as many of them jokingly referred to the activity. The Paladin of Bounty sitting at the table in particular was easy to find, not only because she was one of Elance's oldest friends, but because she simply stood out in any crowd.
The part-human, part-demon Sable Bluehair was the the only red-skinned woman in the room, and that didn't even account for her height or the unusual coloring of her long hair. Which was green, of course. The family name had passed down to her from her ancestor, Bill of the Blue Hair, a legendary hero who had defended the Rainlands some two hundred years ago before reportedly settling down with a harem that included a member of every mortal race the New Continent had to offer. Sable was a result of the demonic side of that expansive family, which wasn't even that many generations ago - despite her appearance as a woman in perhaps her late twenties, she was actually the second-oldest member of the group at seventy-five. In any case, the Bluehairs had been influential members of the Church of Bounty ever since those days.
As the dwarf woman climbed into her seat and looked over the rest of her group, she found a far more mundane yet still quite-capable selection of Experts waiting for her. Paladins were rare in the Church of Bounty compared to some other religious bodies, but every church needed at least some form of physical security and enforcement at times. Most of the rest of the table however was filled by individuals who were members of the church only in the 'attendee' sense rather than the 'receiving a paycheck' sense - at least until recently. Two of them, the human Renter Forst, a Thornwood Tracker, and the dwarven Podge Bootpebble, a Geomancer, were simply former Challengers who had been hired out of retirement to provide assistance on this particular mission. The fifth person at the table meanwhile, the elven Lilly Fullblossom, a Verdant Priestess, had come to represent the side of the church that focused more heavily on the blessings of the God of Harvests.
Leaning forward, the Mother gives a grin to her friends new and old. "Enjoying the tavern so far, are you? Bringing back old memories I expect for some of you."
Renter grunts and nods, his large, ragged leather hat flopping a bit as he does so. "Oh, sure, feels like I was at a tavern just the past week! Oh, wait, I was." A grin spreads across his face then, somewhat improving the look of his heavy stubble and poorly-trimmed black goatee, but not by much.
The Geomancer to his side snorts, his brown beard much fuller but his scalp much balder. "Psshht, y'know what she meant. Or I do, anyhow. Challenger taverns are a different breed, an' sadly we didn't have any back in my home town, though maybe yours was otherwise." He pauses to look around, particularly at the charms decorating the walls. "Dungeon mementos are a common sight in such places, they are, but luck charms are a whole other story. I daresay I seen more of the things spending two minutes in here than I have in my whole career up til now. I guess it's a bit like finding golden doorknobs in a place carved from a mountain of gold, you kind of forget the value of the things when you have so many of them around."
Lilly smiles, her nearly platinum-blonde hair framing her soft face as she does so. "I think it says a lot about the quality of the people here! The monetary value of all this dungeon loot must be significant, even here, but they're freely given and just left to hang out openly! Do...you think the charms make the building itself lucky, such that no one would try to steal from it?"
Sable grins, exposing her sharp teeth in the process. "That, and the consequences that would come from robbing a place frequented almost exclusively by Challengers. Oh, sure, Initiates are often morons, but even morons know better than to steal from a place filled with armed, violent individuals." Grin fading, the Paladin turns back to her friend with a more professional expression on her face. "So, how'd the meeting with the Field Agent go, Elly?"
"Before I answer that, I believe I want to get the opinion of our subject matter experts on a particular point. Renter, Podge, you two must have dealt with Association Agents and Administrators at some of the dungeons you've delved in the past, aye? How'd I want to put this...what would you say their typical opinion is of the dungeons they oversee? On say, a personal level?"
Renter's brow furrows. "Personal? I mean, at most you might occasionally find a fella with a grudge against a place for killing a buddy of theirs or something at some point, but usually folks would get swapped out if anything like that ever got too noticeable. Most of the time I'd say they wouldn't have feelings on the place any stronger than, say, a taxman would feel about their record file cabinets, you know what I mean?"
Podge nods along. "Aye. I suppose I did once spend time at a dungeon with an avatar, and they had actually spoken with the Administrator a time or two, so I suppose you could say there was some sort of personal relationship there. But hells if I could tell you what it was, they were always, you know, neutral and professional about the place as far as I could tell."
Elance strokes her chin in thought. "Heard that was the case, but wanted to make sure. Cause I can tell you this - that ain't how Field Agent Alizz feels about the master of Worthy Dungeon, not by a long shot."
The Paladin next to her narrows her eyes in a look of concern. "In a negative way? Does she hate the dungeon so strongly?"
Elance can't help but laugh. "Sure, she hates the place, but the way a sister might 'hate' a sibling - and believe me, I know a thing or two about sibling relationships. She'll talk your ear off about all her gripes with the place - how many adventurers it ate up, especially in the early days, how hard it is to categorize and all that, but especially she hates how fuckin' horny the place has gotten. Y'ask me, the lass just needs to unbind her corset a little, but oooooh it's riled her up something fierce."
Sable tilts her head. "...But?"
"But she respects the hells out of the place, too. Thinks of the place on a first-name basis, even - didn't slip what it was, but I could tell she almost did once or twice. And I noted too the bit about how the place used to be more dangerous than it is now - ain't that just backwards? Whoever heard of a dungeon starting out mean and then gettin' easier? You ask me, the dungeon and the lass worked something out together."
Renter leans back in his seat, sipping at his mug before commenting. "Could say that's true of Domain dungeons, after the Dragonlord tames em. We may not do that up north, but it's at least possible. Course...the Domain does that with government backing and all that. What's a Field Agent got to offer that a dungeon wants?"
The Mother shrugs. "Bit curious, but I doubt it's nefarious, didn't get that feel from the girl. Just one of the things we'll wanna poke into when we check out the place ourselves."
The Paladin nods before suddenly halting. "Wait, when you say 'we', you're not including yourself, right? Just to make sure."
The dwarf snorts. "Course I'm including myself, Greenie! You think I'd drag my sorry carcass all the way out here and then not see the chosen dungeon of our Goddess in the flesh? Besides, with Lilly here spending all her time on floral magics, you lot could use a dedicated healer."
Sable sets her mug back on the table and leans forward, eyes steely. "Elly, you're tough as iron, but you've literally never been in a combat situation in your life. Don't let that 'Master class-equivalent' nonsense fool you, a dart to the skull will kill you as fast as any Initiate."
Lilly's eyes go wide at the gory image. "Surely a dungeon blessed by Kahlia wouldn't kill one of her own Bountiful Mothers!" In response, every other member at the table just turns to her and stares.
Elance breaks the silence. "Lilly, lass, a fair few dungeons out there got blessings by their various gods, yeah?"
The elf nods slowly. "...Yes?"
"You ever heard of one giving free passes to followers of their patron? Especially considering those followers tend to flock to the place and make up a big chunk of the Challenger crowd there?"
"...I suppose not?"
Elance nods. "Yeah, that ain't how they work. But don't worry Greenie, I ain't a moron. I'll stick to the back and play it safe - that's literally what we hired Experts for, after all, to take the lead on this. We ain't going in tomorrow or anything either. Gotta swing by the local church and say hello to the Cleric there, just out of formality's sake. Word is the poor man can barely keep up with the increased number of visitors, let alone manage any bigger-picture shit, but it's always good to avoid pissin' in someone else's back yard if you can avoid it."
"Well, that's good. I still want to spend some more time talking to the local regulars, too, and - " Sable's comment is cut off from the sounds of an announcement being made at the tavern's entrance, and she turns around to spy a kobold walking in with his hands held high.
"More good luck today for all you early boozers in here! A round for everybody, we're celebrating!"
A barmaid, herself a part-time Challenger, steps forward with a smile. "That so, Drossder? What are we celebrating - Worthy finally find you a gag that could shut that snout up for five minutes, haha!"
"Nope, gonna have to keep trying! Instead, we're celebrating Olanna and Lanfred finally admittin' the obvious - they're getting vowed!" He turns around to indicate the human and dwarf following behind him, with a nearly-as-embarrassed Traylana coming along shortly after. As the pair wave to the crowd, the tavern erupts in cheers and applause.
One man at the bar shouts out to them. "So what finally kicked down your doors, eh!?"
Lanfred answers, holding up a piece of cardstock. "We, well...you could say the dungeon gave us a very special bit of loot on this run, haha!" He waves it around for the bar to see, and even at a bit of distance Elance can make out the image of a baby and the one-word title. Eyes widening, she turns back to her table.
"Am I seeing things, or are those two there claiming that the dungeon not only noticed but congratulated those two for coming with child?"
Sable, almost as wide-eyed, nods back. "That's sure what it looks like. I haven't heard of anything like that happening here before, but then, this 'Floor Five' business has only been public knowledge for a couple weeks. This might be the first time it's happened?"
Elance smiles as she turns to look at the nearby wall full of charms before glancing upwards. "Well then, bless our luck, and bless Kahlia. Seems our timing was excellent. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I ought to go congratulate the young couple - and perhaps hear a bit more about just what this divine dungeon of ours is like..."