Working Out Issues

"It's fine, I can get off by myself," I muttered.

"No fuckin' way," said Drew, "You. Help her down."

"Drew..." I protested.

"It's okay," said Adam, "I got you."

He hopped down off the loading dock, and reached up to take my hand. I sighed.

I had only fainted for about half a second, but that had been enough time for everybody watching to completely freak out. Apparently my dive off the stage was pretty spectacular, and even though Adam had caught me perfectly (of course), people were still pretty concerned. There had been some screaming. All I knew is that I had woken up, being held high in strong arms, and when my vision blurred back into focus I had seen Adam's worried face break into a relieved smile. I felt weak, and my skin was clammy, but when I saw him smile I felt safe and warm. I smiled back. And then I had heard a series of smacks, and Drew yelling "Put her down, you fucker! You killed her!"

The next ten minutes had been kind of a blur. I was still pretty out of it, but I had eventually managed to convince Drew that I was not dead, and Adam was not responsible. I had assured everybody that I was okay, and I wasn't going to sue anyone for my own stupidity, and that I didn't need to go to hospital. Drew had insisted that I should at least go home and get some rest. Adam had insisted on coming along in case I fainted again. Drew had stared him down for a second, then did the math on their respective sizes and grudgingly agreed. Which was good, because it really hadn't seemed like Adam was going to take no for an answer.

Adam had helped me collect my stuff, and let me lean against him while Drew called my boss to explain what had happened. I was pretty sure I wasn't gonna fall again, but when Adam put his arm around me to keep me steady, I didn't complain. Drew didn't want to risk me walking across the icy pavement on the way to the parking lot, so he had driven his SUV around to the loading dock in the back of the conference building. That's where we were now.

I held onto Adam's hand for support as I carefully sat down on the edge of the loading dock. He reached up both arms like he wanted to pick me up.

"Oh my god," I groaned, "I'm fine."

"I just don't want you to get hurt," said Adam.

"I'm not a baby," I said, "I just... over-estimated myself slightly. But I got this."

I scooted forward and hopped down by myself. My legs buckled when I hit the ground, and I stumbled forwards. Adam caught me.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"All good, dude," he said.

Drew honked the horn from the driver's seat.

"Stop fuckin' around!" he called out, "Get her in the car, bud!"

Adam blushed and loosened his grip on me, "Sorry."

"It's okay," I said.

We walked to the car and Adam opened the back door for me. I climbed up into the backseat, and felt his hand against my lower back. Not pushing, or trying to feel me up or anything, just ready to support me if I needed it. I went to slide into the middle seat, then paused.

"I'm seriously fine, Adam," I said, "You don't need to come with us. I know you have to, like, pack up and everything."

"No, it's okay," Adam said, "I actually think we should talk about—"

Drew honked the horn again, "Get in, jackass! If she faints again I can't fuckin' catch her!"

"God! Drew!" I said.

"Sorry!" said Adam, "I'm getting in!"

He leapt up into the seat next to me and closed the door. Drew revved the engine unnecessarily, like he always did, and took off.

We didn't talk much on the drive home. I wasn't sure exactly where I stood with Adam, and I didn't really want to discuss it front of Drew, who kept giving us weird looks in the rearview mirror. I wasn't sure if he was suspicious of Adam, or just making sure I was okay. Either way, I decided it was better to wait until we got home before i asked Adam how he was feeling.

It was hard to tell. He was staying quiet too. It had felt really nice when he was holding me, and he seemed like he really wanted to make sure I was safe, but that didn't really mean anything. Adam would have been the same way with anyone that he thought needed help.

Drew had turned the heating on, but I still felt a little cold and clammy. I hugged myself and shivered. Adam noticed.

"You okay?" he asked.

I nodded, "Just cold."

"Hang on," he said, and reached down into his bag. After a moment he retrieved a fleece jacket and a protein bar, "I was saving this for later, but you should really eat something."

I blushed, "I'm seriously fine."

"Just... do it for me?" Adam said.

I sighed and let him put his jacket around my shoulders. It was warm, and comfy, and smelled like him. Adam lifted his arm and after a moment I nestled into his side. He hugged me close to his body, which was warm and comfy and smelled like him too. In the rearview mirror, Drew was giving us a weird look again. I tried to focus on nibbling my protein bar. It actually helped a lot.

We didn't say anything else for the rest of the drive. I just closed my eyes and snuggled into Adam's side, listening to his breathing and feeling his chest rise and fall.

"Mel?" Adam said after a while.

"Mmm?" I mumbled, not looking up.

"We're here, he said softly, "Time to get up, dude."

"Do we have to?" I asked.

Drew blared the horn, shattering the warm, sleepy mood I had drifted into.

"Get up!" he said, "I'm not letting you sleep in my car! What if you puke? Move it!"

I rolled my eyes and let Adam help me out of the car. He slung my bag over his shoulder and held out his hand.

"Come on!" said Drew, who had gone ahead to unlock the door to my apartment building, "Let's get you in bed! Before you fucking die!"

I took Adam's hand and we walked up the icy steps together. He held on tight, not crushing, but ready to catch me if I slipped. We caught the elevator to my floor, and then got to my apartment, and then the door to my bedroom, and the whole time he didn't let go of my hand. But I wasn't letting go of his either, so maybe he just didn't want to seem rude.

"Alright!" Drew pointed sternly at me, "You, in bed, now. I'm gonna make you some chicken soup or something. Big guy, you can go wait in the car."

"Actually, Drew," I said, "I think Adam and I need to talk for a bit. In private."

Drew took a step back and looked at the two of us, eyeing us up suspiciously. I hadn't really talked to Drew about Adam before, but I wasn't sure how much Ashanti or Jeremy had told him. By the look on his face, it was enough for him to be pretty concerned. Drew stepped up towards Adam, who quickly let go of my hand.

"Listen, motherfucker," he said, "You probably think you're a pretty tough guy, but if you fuckin' say anything to piss her off—"

"Drew!" I protested. Drew kept advancing on Adam who took a couple steps back and looked at me fearfully.

"—if I hear so much as a fuckin' exasperated sigh comin' outta that room—"

Adam was pressed up against the wall now. The top of Drew's head only came up to about the height of Adam's nipples, but he was jabbing a finger up at his face like the point of a bayonet.

"—I will punch you in the face so fuckin' hard we will both need to go to hospital—"

"Drew!" I grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him away, "Enough! Go make soup!"

"Just watch your fuckin' mouth, bro!" Drew pointed menacingly at Adam one last time. I pulled Adam into my bedroom and slammed the door before Drew could say anything else.

"Oh my god," I groaned, "I am so sorry."

"That's... that's cool..." Adam said, still a little stunned, "He's, uh... he's an intense guy."

"Tell me about it," I groaned. I kicked off my shoes and flopped down on my bed, still in my gym clothes. After a moment Adam came over and joined me, sitting on the edge of the bed, down by my legs. I could feel his weight dragging down the side of the mattress, pulling me towards him, but I resisted.

"So..." said Adam, "Is he, like, your boyfriend?"

I laughed, "No way. He's taken. And gay. He's actually dating my friend Jeremy, if you remember him?"

"Oh," Adam perked up a bit, "That's dope. Good for them. Yeah, he seems really cool actually. Great guy."

"He is," I said, "He's just a little over-protective. But definitely not my boyfriend."

"Cool," said Adam, "So, uh... are you seeing anyone right now?"

"Um," I was getting a little chilly again, so I pulled up my legs and then wriggled down under the blankets, "Not right now. I was kinda seeing this girl a few weeks ago, but... it ended."

"Oh, that sucks. I'm sorry," said Adam, but he sounded kind of odd. almost insincere. Maybe I had weirded him out by bringing the mood down too much.

"It's fine," I said quickly, "I actually kinda like being single. Um. are... are you seeing anyone?"

"Oh," said Adam. He looked down and quietly admitted, "I'm... I'm actually still single, right now."

Oh, no. The brief glimmer of excitement I felt when I found out he was single was immediately crushed by a wave of guilt. It had been a year, and still, less than an hour after seeing him, I was right back to my old pattern of selfishly thinking about myself. Adam looked really sad. For a second I thought maybe he was thinking about that night, a year ago, when he told me that he loved me. But that couldn't be it. Sure, it had seemed dramatic at the time, but Adam would have quickly realized that I was no great loss. But still... it must have hurt a little, for him to make himself so vulnerable and then be rejected.

Adam was still silently staring at the floor. I tried to play things off with a joke.

"Hey," I said, "Two sad single bros, chilling in bed together. Just like old times."

Adam laughed, "Not exactly like old times."

"How so?"

He looked at me and smiled, "I mean, look at you."

I blushed and pulled the blanket up a bit higher. The way Adam was looking at me kind of reminded me of the way he had looked at me the the last couple of times we had... I mean, the last couple of times I helped him get off. Not leering, just a kind of coy look that made me shiver. I kind of liked it, but I also felt kind of self-conscious. I mean, I must look like a mess right now. But... Adam didn't seem to mind...

Except then he must have realized I was uneasy, because he quickly dropped his eyes and shuffled away a bit.

"You know, I was serious when I said I wanted to be friends again," he said.

"Yeah!" I said, "And I was totally serious when I said I was, like, ready to try."

"Oh, yeah, I know," Adam laughed, "I saw how serious you were. Deadly serious."

I gasped in mock-outrage and threw a pillow at him, "Too soon!"

Adam caught the pillow and threw it back, "You said you were fine!"

"I was being brave!" I said, "It was scary as hell!"

I grabbed the pillow with both hands and started swinging it at Adam. He laughed and held up his hands to block it, but I was too sly and quickly re-adjusted my aim so I could smack him in the tummy. He clutched his stomach like he was in intense pain, as if I was in any way capable of actually hurting him. I giggled and smacked him a couple of times in the head and he laughed and jumped onto the bed with me, straddling my body, and snatched the pillow out of my hands. He threw it back across the room. I pressed my hands against his firm pecs, trying to push him off me, and he smirked and grabbed my wrists, and pinned me down against the bed. He leaned over me, his face just a couple inches away from mine. I tried to wriggle free, but his hands were just so strong. I couldn't escape if I wanted to, and there was no way he was gonna let me go. Suddenly a thought struck me, and I gasped.

Adam immediately loosened his grip, "What? Are you okay?"

I laughed, "No, I just realized! You caught me when I fell off that stage. You saved me."

Adam tilted his head, "Yeah?"

I giggled, "You saved me! You really are my sweet prince!"

Adam pulled back and for a second I thought I had said something really wrong. Shit. I shouldn't have brought that up, it was too inextricably linked to how we used to be, with the cuddles and kisses and everything else, and even though deep inside I still felt like I desperately wanted that back, Adam had probably tried his hardest to forget about it. At least, that's what I thought. But then I realized that Adam was giving me that look again, and a sly smile slowly spread across his face.

"Hell yeah I am," he said, "My beautiful princess."

Oh my god. I immediately felt butterflies in my stomach, and my cheeks suddenly felt super warm. I didn't realize how much I missed that in particular. Not just Adam calling me beautiful, but Adam calling me his. My toes curled with excitement. My arms were still pinned over my head by Adam's strong grip, and now I felt a little extra pressure against them as Adam started leaning down towards me. He still had that look in his eyes, and I realized that, holy shit, holy shit, he was going to kiss me! Even after all this time, he wanted to kiss me. Or maybe it was because so much time had passed, and maybe all my friends were right and I had come really far! Fuck, I had right? I was in so much better shape (I squatted all those weights!), and I looked so much more feminine, and I dressed better, and I had more friends, and I was killing it at work, and maybe I still wasn't super confident but I was better than I used to be, and... I was a good person, wasn't I? I mean, I had to be, right? If Adam still wanted me?

Even after I walked out on him?

Just as Adam's lips brushed against mine, I flinched and jerked my head to the side. Instantly he let go of my hands and reared back.

"Oh, fuck," he gasped, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I totally misread the signs, I didn't mean to— Mel, seriously, I'm so sorry—"

He looked like he was on the verge of hyperventilating. I sat up and grabbed his arm.

"It's okay!" I said, "Adam, it's okay. You didn't misread anything. I wanted to kiss you, too. I just..."

He looked at me with wide eyes. I bit my lip.

"I mean, we can't do that again, right?" I said softly, "I don't want to fuck things up before we even have the chance to hang out again."

Adam looked devastated, but he nodded, "No. Yeah. Of course."

"Adam, I really, really like you," I said.

He nodded. I realized I was still holding his arm, and quickly let go. He rubbed the spot where my hand had been.

"Yeah," he said, "I really like you too."

"And I really like... you know," I blushed, "Kissing you, and... and all the other stuff we did together. Like, the... you know, the bedroom stuff..."

Adam's face flushed. His other hand had drifted down and was tightly clenching onto the edge of my blanket.

"Me too," he said, "And, uh... the other stuff too. Like when we stayed up and talked, and... watching you work out, and stuff."

My heart fluttered. God, I missed the way he used to watch me. So full of excitement, so supportive...

"I really like that too," I took a deep breath, "But Adam, you deserve to be with someone who's right for you, you know?"

Adam laughed in disbelief, "Mel, that's... that's you. You're perfect. When we were still... roommates, you always made me laugh, and you made me feel safe, and I love how you're so brave and you're so willing to try new things, and—"

"Whoa, wait," I said, "Adam, that's not me. That's not what I'm like."

Adam stared at me, "Yes it is, dude"

"No it's not!" I protested, "I'm not brave! I was only ever confident enough to try new things because you were always there to support me, and comfort me when I got sad or scared, and, like, you made me feel like I didn't have to be ashamed of who I was..."

Adam smiled, "That's how you made me feel."

"....really?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said.

"I wasn't, like, a burden, or someone you just pitied, or..."

"No," said Adam, "My life got a lot better once I met you."

I stared at him intently. If he was lying to make me feel better, he was doing a really good job hiding the truth. He didn't twitch or look away or anything, just kept looking back at me with his dark, beautiful eyes. After a couple of seconds I broke and looked away. We sat there in silence for a while. And then I heard a creak, and looked up to see the door swing forwards slightly. There was a muffled, "Shit!", and the sound of footsteps loudly sneaking away. I sighed.

"Sorry," I said, "He's an idiot."

"It's okay," said Adam, "I should probably head out, anyway."

"Wait," I said, and stopped myself just short of grabbing his arm again, "Um. I just... you made my life a lot better too. And you don't have anything to be ashamed of. And... I'm sorry I keep freaking out like this, and everything."

Adam smiled, "I'm really glad we're friends again."

I felt a dull ache in my chest, but put it aside, and smiled back.

"Yeah," I said, "We should definitely hang out soon."

"Definitely," said Adam, and then he got up, and hesitated, like he wanted to say something else. After a moment he shook his head ruefully, and left, closing my bedroom door behind him.

I sat in my bed and sighed. All in all, things could have gone a lot worse. Yeah, I had lifted those weights, which had definitely felt super meaningful at the time, but I had also basically knocked myself out trying. I was lucky Adam wanted to talk to me at all. Pushing it too far would have been stupid. And selfish. Maybe he liked me, despite everything, for some stupid, unearned reason, and I liked him, because it would be impossible not to, but that didn't mean we were meant to be together. I would fuck it up. And maybe Michelle Champion was right, and we could work past it, but it wasn't worth the risk. It wasn't fair to Adam.

I had made the right decision. This was for the best. And while I was thinking that, I was getting out of bed, and running to my bedroom door, and flinging it open, and calling out "Adam?"

Adam was at the door to my apartment, still holding onto the doorknob. He looked back to me.

"Yeah?" he said.

For the first time in my fucking life, I didn't overthink things.

"I love you," I said.

For a horrible, sickening second, Adam just stared at me, and then before I could even blink he had crossed the room, and he had one hand around my waist, and one hand buried in my hair, and he was kissing me, and I felt like lightning was shooting up and down my body, and I clutched onto him as tight as I could, and kissed him back. It felt like I had spent the past year underwater, and I could finally breathe again. He was so strong, and my heart was racing so fast, and I felt almost dizzy and light-headed again, like I was gonna faint again, but I didn't care because I knew he would catch me. He would always catch me, and he was so perfect, and I could feel his hot breath against me as our lips broke apart, and then he kissed me again, and fuck it just felt so fucking perfect. I couldn't believe that it had been a year since the last time we had kissed, because in that moment I couldn't even imagine being apart for another second.

At last we pulled apart, and I hugged him tightly and rested my head against his chest. I closed my eyes and sighed happily. He folded his arms around me, holding me close.

"I love you," I said again.

"I love you," said Adam.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

I opened my eyes, and saw Drew poking his head out from the kitchen. Adam tightened his grip on me defensively. Drew stumbled out of the kitchen and fell against a wall like he had just been shot.

"Oh my god," he said, "Fuck me. Okay, I'm gonna be real, I listened to that whole fucking conversation you had in there, and I swear to FUCK, Mel, if you hadn't come after him right now, I woulda jumped out the fuckin' window. Hoooooly shit. Jeremy told me some of this stuff but I didn't realise you two had it this fuckin' bad for each other. Fuck! This took a fuckin' year to figure out? How stupid are you?"

Adam and I looked at each other in shock. I started giggling, and he joined in too. I fell back against him and beamed at Drew.

"Thanks, Drew," I said.

Drew glared at me, "I'm not even joking. Seriously, I feel like I just had a heart attack. You know if you're in love with someone you can just date them, right? You don't have to play some twisted fucking keep-away game?"

"Okay, Drew, I think we're good now," I said.

Drew shook his head and started towards the door, "And you're both hot, too! Two hot people who are in love! It's not rocket science!"

He stopped at the door.

"I didn't make any soup, by the way. I started eavesdropping on you after like five seconds."

"That's fine," I smiled up at Adam, "I think I'm going to be alright."

"Ugh!" Drew groaned dramatically, and slammed the door behind him.

Adam gave me a gentle squeeze. I sighed.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"It's okay," Adam laughed, "Honestly, he has a point."

I giggled, "Yeah."

Adam leaned down and kissed me again. I kissed him back, less frantic and desperate than our first kiss. This was slow, and gentle, and full of gentle, simmering passion. When we ended it, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed myself against him, soaking in his warmth and his smell and his strong arms holding me tight.

"I missed you so much," I sighed.

"Me too," Adam said softly, "I tried to move on but I feel like I've just been waiting for you this whole time."

I felt a pang of guilt, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," said Adam.

i looked up at him. there was still a twinge of hurt in his gorgeous eyes. but as I looked at him it faded away and he just looked happy and in love.

"I promise I won't leave you like that again," I said

Adam smiled and tightened his grip a little more, "I wouldn't let you."

I felt a little thrill.

"Mmm," I teased, "Someone's getting a little possessive."

Adam loosened his grip, "Sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"No," I purred, running my hands down his back, grabbing his firm butt and pulling him towards me, "I like it. My big, strong, possessive boyfriend."

Adam gasped and I felt the familiar swelling hardness pressing against me. I giggled and rubbed myself against him, gently grinding my pelvis against his cock.

"Could you... could you say that again?" he asked, "Please?"

I smiled up at him seductively, "Make me."

Adam looked at me for a second, then he grinned, reached down, grabbed my butt, and almost effortlessly lifted me up into the air. I squealed, wrapped my legs around his waist, and held on tight as my big, strong, possessive boyfriend carried me back into my bedroom.