LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter Three Hundred Twenty Five
We didn't stay too long at the party. We chatted up a few random people, made some connections, but we were both still worried about what we'd learned. Benny and Jessie had fun, and Abel and Mel gathered a decent amount of attention just by being themselves. Still, the whole night was mostly a blur to me.
I texted Natalie about a meeting after the party, but I was more concerned about Callie. Through our whole relationship and even before, she seemed so...unflappable. She was right there with me ready to jump into danger, and I was right there with her. But finding out that the Empire and the Cult might both be involved here had scared her. I could feel it through the bond, the creeping taint of fear.
She was quiet the rest of the night, and finally when we got home she broke. "I think we should quit the tournament." I'd been expecting a talk about her worries, some kind of request for us to be careful, but to actually quit...I just stared at her uncomprehendingly.
"Cal." I started. "I know this is getting a little dicey, but we always knew things would get dangerous. We still have Zeke watching our backs-"
"Until we break through." She cut me off. "Then E-rankers are fair game to come after us, and we'd be helpless." We were in her room, and she stood up and started to pace. "The Cult stuff isn't your fault, Shane. I get that. I'd never blame you for your parents baggage, and I'm here for it all. Just like you're here for mine. But the Empire...We're fucking G-rankers Shane. We aren't supposed to be fucking with things like this."
Her voice was high and panicked and my stomached clench as I felt her fear. I stood up and stopped her, putting my hands on her shoulder. "Whoa. Hey, calm down. We can talk this over. If you really think its best to quit I'm in for it. You're the boss, and more than that we're partners. But this is a chance we might never get again, and it can help us move forward in our goals so much. Are you really willing to just bow out?"
"What goals?" She shouted. Throwing her hands up. "Why are you even doing this Shane? Any of this? Is it just for the fun? For the adventure? I want to surpass my dad, Jessie wants to bring back her brother, Benny is looking after you, even if he'd never admit it. Why do you even want to be the Wishmaster?" She was shaking, her eyes burning as she stared at me. "Is this just a game? Is that it? It has to be more than that."
It occurred to me that her being constantly onboard and my bond with her giving me a bit of an inkling what she was feeling had made me WAY too confident that I knew what Callie was thinking. "How long have you been worried about this?" I asked her quietly. She flushed and looked away, and I groaned. "Damn it Callie, what did I say about trying to be perfect. If you wanted to know what's going on in my head why not just ask?"
Not that I knew really. Was this just a game? Was I doing this purely for the adventure? I wasn't sure honestly, but I'd have thought about it if she asked. I wouldn't have brushed her off. How long had she been worrying herself sick over this? She looked away. "You're always there for me. Helping when I need it. It didn't feel right, questioning you like that. Like I was implying you didn't care. But the Empire...this is getting out of hand Shane. So, I won't say we need to drop out, if you can tell me why."
I sighed, thinking. I'd asked myself this question. The answer I came up with, just doing what I wanted and having fun, sounded stupid, and silly, and immature. But thinking about it, that wasn't right anyway. If it had just been that I'd have been fine dropping out. But I wanted to keep going. I wanted to win. Wanted to go to the Moonsong Glade and continue to grow, not because it would be fun, or exciting, but because...
"It's what I want." I said with certainty. She looked at me, confused. "Moving here. My dad wanted that. Becoming a candidate, my dad wanted that. Maybe. I think. The point is all my choices up to now haven't been. It's my 'destiny' or my 'bloodline' or whatever the fuck. The Cult hates me because of my mom, the WCP supports me because of my dad. But they're not here. It's just me. It's my choice. I want to get stronger. I want to do it my way. Because I want to and for no other reason. Because it's my life."
I ran my hands over my face. "But it's your life too. All of yours." I said quietly. "I won't push this if you think it's getting too dangerous. We can still grow and get stronger without winning. I have a contract with Natalie, but it was for an alliance, not a commitment to definitely do all of the tournament. If you think it's too dangerous we can pull out." I'd pushed Callie to make decisions more geared to her own interests, I'd be a massive hypocrite if I ignored her request to pull back for our own safety.
Callie didn't say anything for a minute, she just stared at me, then she blew out a breath. "I can't exactly fault you for wanting to be your own person. Not given my motivations for all of this. How long have you felt like this? Why didn't YOU tell ME?"
I shrugged. "I'm not introspective. I didn't really realize it until it came time to quit. But this is important to me." I looked her in the eye. "It's just not as important to me as you. This is your call. That's not fair in some ways, but I can't be objective here. If you think this is too dangerous then we call it quits."
"No." She said firmly. "You have a reason for wanting to go ahead. It might not be one most people would get, but I do. We continue." She held up a finger. "BUT. If the Empire or the Cult start putting overt pressure on us directly we bail. I'm willing to see this through as long as we aren't getting in the way of their plans too much. I'm not sure how willing they are to interfere in things under the noses of the other forces. Having the WCP and Unity around might be enough to keep them in check, but if it's not-"
I grinned at her, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her soundly. "Of course. If things get to that point we're out. We can talk to Natalie too. She might have some kind of insurance set up to keep them off her back. She knew about this way before I did and I suspect she has a better handle on the situation than us." Natalie wasn't any more in touch with the family than I was as far as I knew, but she was older and had been doing this longer. She most likely had way more connections than I did, and I doubted she'd have jumped into the middle of a fight between factions if she knew it would kill her.
I stepped away from Callie, happy to see she seemed to be more relaxed after I mentioned Natalie. She had a point though. When it was just the Cult we were dealing with a specific force with reason to harm me, but we had countermeasures for that and other options to pressure them. If there were multiple factions fighting over the winner of this we had to be careful or we'd get crushed by accident without even knowing how we died.
It meant a lot to me that she was willing to take the risks here now that she knew what it meant to me, and I swore to myself that if it looked like things were getting out of hand we would take a step back. My team's lives were more important than any amount of self assurance.
"We should tell the others too." I said after we both sat down. "I'm glad you have my back here, but it doesn't seem right to go into this kind of danger without letting them know. When we were just in the tournament they weren't really involved, but if we piss off a faction and they come after us they'll target Benny and Jessie too." I paused. "Well, and maybe Abel and Mel, but those two can take care of themselves. We'll tell them too of course, but I doubt they'll care. Abel will probably think it's cool."
Callie chuckled at that. "You aren't wrong. But yeah, I think telling them is the right choice. Knowing the two of them I doubt it'll change much. Jessie needs your help to have any real shot at bringing back her brother, and Benny won't let you go into something like this alone." She held up a hand to forestall my comment. "Yes, I know you have me, but you know what I mean. He's got your back."
He did. Always had really. As for Jessie...I felt bad that she might get sucked into this out of some kind of obligation. Callie was right though. Most people in the system would probably never make it past E-rank. The further out from the larger factions you went the harder it was to rank up. Jessie had an amazing power, but that wouldn't be enough to get as high as she needed.
I would do everything I could to help her of course, even if she decided to back out, but she was also fiercely loyal. She wouldn't take my help and abandon me. I was just glad she had Randall to watch her back. Her combat capabilities weren't nearly as impressive as Benny's, despite all her power. Having the big bear as backup made her much safer, especially if he kept growing and eventually ranked up to E-rank.
Despite everything though, I felt...different. Knowing more about my reasons for doing this was cathartic. It sounded stupid for someone to do something without knowing why, but people lied to themselves all the time. I guess it took real pressure for me to finally understand what was making me tick. Granted, I wasn't sure going on a universe spanning adventure because I wanted to make my own decisions was exactly reasonable, but it was probably better than aimless drifting.
As for what I wanted to do in the long term with that freedom...who knew? I didn't have a plan for now, but being able to not have a plan was pretty nice. I'd help my friends as best I could. I had a few goals in mind though. I wanted to find my mom once we left the planet. I'd never met her, and I'd really like to see what she was like. Finding my dad at some point would be nice, though whether it was to give him a hug or punch him in the throat I couldn't say. Maybe both.
There was a buzz on my finger and I confirmed that Natalie had gotten my message and was responding to me. She couldn't meet up tonight and tomorrow was the next round matches, but we made plans to meet the next day to talk about our next moves. In the meantime, I didn't have much time to think things over. I was a bit busy trying to figure out countermeasures to the Solemn Vow Guild. After all, tomorrow was the next fight, and this whole thing was kind of moot if we lost.