Chapter 20
“But, wouldn’t balance be using both?” the youngling asked, sitting in front of him in a meditating position. “I mean, isn’t balance when things are equal on both sides?”
Anakin released a long breath, thinking about how to best describe the subject of the Force. “For a person, a balanced life is one where you fulfill your obligations, but also enjoy selfish things. Where you help others, but also take time for yourself. The Force isn’t a person.
“For the Force, balance is harmony, between everything and everyone. It is for things to work as they should for the progress of all life. To dedicate yourself to balance is not to impose your will onto reality. It is not to dictate what should or should not happen, it is to stop others from dictating so.”
“So the Jedi didn’t live balanced lives?”
“Not in the way you are thinking of. You are thinking of the Jedi as if they were model icons,” Anakin explained, shaking his head. “The role of the Jedi was to protect the balance, not to stand as examples to be followed. Not perfectly followed anyway. The life of a Jedi was not for everyone and refusing the calling did not make you fall.”
“I don’t get it,” Dinah sighed, looking down at her lightsaber.
“That’s alright, balance is a complicated subject, even masters did not fully understand it.”
“But, wouldn’t not having attachments be… wrong?” she asked, encouraged by the fact he wasn’t chiding her. “I mean, I don’t think I want to live without friends, and what if the Force asked me not to save my family? I don’t think I could do that.”
For a second, Anakin felt the old ache in his chest, the question hitting a little too close to home.
He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. Ever since he gave her a way not to be tracked, Dinah had wanted to call her mother. Unfortunately, according to her, there was an 87% chance Coil would use her parents as bait if he knew she had a way of contacting them.
“Again, the life of a Jedi isn’t for everyone,” he said. “For most people, it would be a sacrifice they are unwilling to make. For the Jedi, it was different, their connection to the Force, and through the Force to everything around them made things much easier.
“But you do not have to be a Jedi, and forming attachments was never about not forming connections, but about being willing to let those connections go when the time came, not putting them above everything else… Even now, I still fail in that aspect.”
“Haa… being a hero is so much easier,” she complained, frustrated at the complicated concepts.
“At its core, to use the Force is to be selfless, to give without asking and, in the end, you’ll only have things to gain,” he explained, trying to simplify things as much as he could, there would be time to explore the differences later. “To use the Dark Side is to be selfish, to take, and then take more. At first, it will seem like the right thing to do, for the right reason, until all you will be left with are things to lose and it will scare you, driving you forward, making you never stop.”
Anakin could see the girl didn’t fully understand, but as he said, that was fine, he wasn’t any better at her age and he had started a few years younger. Still, perhaps he could do better.
“Let us consider those you call heroes. At their core, they’re supposed to protect people. What happens if everyone is safe? If their goal is achieved?”
“They… don’t do anything? I mean, if there’s no one to fight or arrest…”
“Indeed, now consider your villains. At their core, they’re selfish, they want to acquire things, be it money, pleasure, or power. What happens if they succeed?”
“Ah…” she nodded, finally seeming to understand. “A villain wouldn’t stop, they’d just want more. The more they get, the more they’d want.”
“Indeed, when there is balance, a Force user will feel no need to act, no matter how many there are or how powerful they may be, their goal is achieved and they’ll be content on letting the rest of the Galaxy live and prosper. On the other hand, someone channeling the Dark Side will always seek to break the balance because he will want more. To control everything and everyone.”
Anakin knew she wouldn’t understand it fully, but he’d continue to teach her. Hopefully, he’d be able to instill the dangers of the Dark Side into her mind before her training increased her Force sensitivity to the point where it would matter.
He knew the Dark Side could be used, and resisted, if one’s mind was strong enough, but it was a burden… and he found her a little too eager for its touch at the moment.
In truth, he wouldn’t press her to be a Jedi. He wasn’t one and, in all honesty, did not think trying to be would end well.
To be a Jedi wasn’t a privilege, it was a duty, one that the Sith had corrupted through a thousand years of plots and machinations. Hopefully, his Son would be able to restore the Jedi Order to what it should be, not what it had become at the end.
“I am a Jedi, like my father before me!”
He couldn’t deny the words had brought him some pride even before he turned on Sidious, but he also couldn’t help hoping Luke was NOT like his father. Anakin Skywalker had been a terrible Jedi… Then again, all fathers hoped their progeny would do better than them.
In any case, Anakin did not think the girl had the correct mentality for becoming a Jedi.
Such a thing was not wrong, there was free will in the universe, and every sapient being was free to follow the will of the Force or not without falling to the Dark Side, but simply not falling was not the path of a Jedi.
Staring at the youngling for a few seconds, he nodded when he saw she was already meditating on the lesson. Closing his own eyes, he started thinking about his own path, releasing his emotions and clearing his mind while he sought answers from the Force.
Anakin did not fully enter into meditation, the world didn’t fade away to be covered in red, but he did manage to calm his emotions enough while thinking about the situation.
When he had first awoken, he had been confused. Should he return to his teachings as a Jedi? Should he attempt to make his way back to his Son and try to atone? How did he even survive?
There was no doubt in his mind that the Force had interfered in his fate, but free will meant the Force could not simply affect the world without someone to act in its name. For all its infinite power, it could no more recreate his body or teleport him away than it could snuff out Sidious’s life. Not by itself.
Still, he was thankful for the second chance, and he truly believed following the will of the Force would be for the best… he just did not know if he could do it. As he said, he was no Jedi, and the whispers of the Dark Side still came far too easy to his ears.
Restored as he was, Anakin knew he had no need for the Dark Side. It was not stronger than the Force nor could it achieve anything the Force lacked… if he spent the time and effort necessary.
The Dark Side was a shortcut, one he had outgrown, but it was still so easy, so instinctual for him… to channel his anger and just squash any obstacle in his way.
Perhaps he should not have planned to attack the Empire, but the Force itself was warning him they wouldn’t stop, and he felt something he hadn’t felt in years, guidance. Despite the risks of falling back on the Dark Side, the Force approved of his plan, their defeat was necessary.
Eventually, he opened his eyes again and just… looked at the youngling in front of him. Even missing a hand, she looked far healthier than when he had first met her and, through the Force, he could feel she was happy, her emotions as clear as day coming through the growing bond between them.
Unconsciously, a thin smile formed on his mouth.
In the beginning, she had just put on a mask, pretending to be strong so he wouldn’t leave her, so she could keep both herself and her family safe from Coil. But now it was no longer an act, she really was content being with him.
She still missed her family terribly, but she was happy.
Anakin didn’t think he’d find another apprentice. A true one, not a tool he made while plotting against Sidious like Marek. And yet, it seemed like he couldn’t help himself.
The smile left his face and he sighed, it had barely been a month and he was already forming attachments, putting the girl above every other life in the city, and the planet. He really should have left the Order when he had the chance.
Sitting in front of him, Dinah carefully opened one eye and peeked at him, then closed it back when she noticed him staring. “You can open your eyes, our meditating session is over.”
Her eyes snapped open and she immediately relaxed her legs, her body reclining back as she put both hands on the floor for support. “So, when are you going to fight the Empire?”
“Watanabe informs me they will transport Victor out of the city in a few hours,” Anakin explained, pushing himself up. “I will intercept the Empire after they have gathered in sufficient number.”
“So…” she started to ask, a little embarrassed. “You’ll be there when I make my move on the Undersiders?”
“I should be finished by then. The Empire will not meaningfully delay me,” he nodded. “Regardless, I don’t think you’ll require my support.”
“Yeah, but I want you to watch,” she smiled at him, both eager and afraid of her first move against the villain plaguing her. “Are you going to kill them?”
Anakin paused on the way to prepare her lunch. He didn’t want to lie to the girl. Was he going to kill the Empire? From all that he read, most certainly deserved it, but he wasn’t certain. He felt he had made the right choice sparing Victor, a step forward. He didn’t want that progress to crumble.
The Force didn’t prevent him from killing. Death was a part of the circle, nature had predators, parasites, and viruses... They were all part of the Force too.
In the heat of battle, killing was a natural thing, but Anakin doubted the Empire could push him in such a way, not without far more preparation than they currently had. But the Force also didn’t prevent killing outside of battle when the situation called for it.
The real question was, did he believe killing the Empire was necessary? If their organization was destroyed, would the authorities be able to contain them for punishment?
Anakin did not care enough about the Empire to personally desire their deaths, and not every member deserved death, but he was loath to let them escape to continue causing pain and suffering. He supposed he could let the Force guide him again.
“Most of them should not be permanently damaged.”
“... Can I watch?”
In hindsight, he should have expected that.
While he was capable of protecting the girl, it would split his focus. “I would prefer you didn’t accompany me.”
“Master Anakin, I created a recording drone,” Hal helpfully offered, extending a hand with a small round drone. “It should not interfere in your battle.”
Anakin stared at the fist-sized drone, a single camera pointed up at his face, and lifted an eyebrow. Both Hal and Dinah stared back at him with wide eyes. “And why exactly did you build this?”
“Oh, Master, while I’d certainly prefer to do the fighting myself, it would warm my circuitry to watch you demolish those meatbags. Your battle with Lung was most pleasing.”
“Very well,” Anakin nodded, taking the drone and letting it float behind him before turning to the youngling. “But you’ll remain at the workshop. Hal and the defenses here will keep you safe until I return.”
“Fine, the TV here is bigger anyway.”
After lunch, Anakin checked the outside. There, he saw Jun Watanabe, the boy who had received them in the ABB meeting, among a small group of kids repairing the houses around the workshop.
When he had been ambushed at the edge of ABB territory, the Empire had also attempted to raid this location but had been repealed by the defenses and his quick defeat of the four parahumans sent against him. They had still dealt some damage, however.
“Hey, can I go feed Kumo and Tora?” Dinah asked, pointing through the window towards the two fat cats lazily sleeping at the neighbor’s damaged window.
“They appear quite well fed,” Anakin said, doubtful.
“Well, Mrs. Liliam asked me to feed them while she’s in the hospital, and it was our fault…”
Anakin was not aware the old woman had gotten hurt. With a cold voice, he asked. “What happened?”
“Ah, she kinda shot Crusader with her shotgun while he was retreating and Stormtiger sent a blast back at her. It didn’t hit her, but she still fell and hit her head. I thought it wouldn’t happen cuz I told her to leave, and there was such a small chance…”
“Very well, go.”
Nodding, the girl dashed outside towards the cats, then stopped herself and changed to a composed walk, Hal following closely behind.
Looking at her go, Anakin was reminded once again how her power could fail. The girl had said there was only a 7% chance anyone would be hurt in the raid, and using the Force to look into the future hadn’t revealed any dangers.
He should have remembered any form of future sight was… unreliable at best. The future was always in flux, it was always tainted by one’s perception with nothing set in stone and a 7% chance was still a chance. Relying only on her predictions was bound to fail eventually.
Staring through the window, Anakin couldn’t help squeezing his hands into fists, his masked reflection staring right back at him. Stormtiger, was it?
“Ah, Boss,” Watanabe called from the door. “One of the guys with the cops sent us a message, the PRT is leaving in one hour.”
“I see. Are you certain the Empire will be able to acquire the same information?”
“I mean, I can’t be absolutely sure, but sometimes I think the Bay has more corruption than the rest of the state combined, so it’s a pretty good bet. Also wouldn’t surprise me if the same guy was selling the information to the Empire too.”
“Indeed, we should not expect loyalty from one who already betrays his job.”
Hopefully, the corrupt officer would believe their interest is in the insane Tinker and would not mention him, but Anakin would have to be ready in case the Empire expected his interference.
“Well, to be fair, nobody was really loyal to the ABB? They were just scared of Lung,” the boy commented, head still poking through the door. “The Korean is keeping things organized and you’re cool as hell, so the new recruits don’t mind so much, but some of us kinda hate each other. I doubt the gang is gonna stay together for even half a year unless you force them to.”
“That will be sufficient,” Anakin said, considering the boy. “Your support is convenient for the moment, but I hold no desire to control a criminal organization.”
“Right, don’t stop people from leaving if they want to. Got it, Boss.”
“Were you able to locate where the Empire will be gathering?”
“Ah, we’ve got some guys looking, but not really. We’ll send a message if anyone sees them moving.”
“Very well, you are dismissed.”
Retreating from the door, the boy left him alone again. With a flick of his hand, Anakin turned the switch, causing the metal shutters to descend, blocking the window to the outside.
Stepping away, he closed his computer so one of the damn creatures wouldn’t come to sleep on top of it again — he wouldn’t put it past the girl to bring them inside in his absence— then grabbed his cloak.
It was tall enough to cover his entire body and entirely black, with a hood that completely covered his helmet. Watanabe had done well acquiring it.
Unlike most places in the Galaxy, this planet’s dress code meant such clothing would draw attention, but less so than if he openly wore his recognizable helmet and armor, and it could hide his exact identity, even if any observer knew he was one of the so-called capes at a glance.
Anakin would also use the Force to further hide, one of the few talents his former master had taught him fully.
Grabbing the drone, he hid it under the cloak and saw Dinah coming back, one of the damn animals in her arms. “I’m leaving. The Empire should be getting ready now.”
“Right,” Dinah said, dropping the creature on top of a table and hugging him. “Stay safe… and don’t worry, there’s only a 0.76% chance I’ll be attacked alone.”
The Force flickered as if wanting to confirm the girl’s statement. He squeezed her shoulder in support, but didn’t say anything… what exactly was one supposed to say in such situations anyway?
“The Empire is an annoyance, not a threat. I will be back soon.”
Leaving the workshop, Anakin drew upon the Force, covering himself in a layer of deception that would cause his image to fade into the background, causing any that looked at him to dismiss or not register his presence. The cloak helped make it easier.
Then he started walking, leaving the ABB territory towards downtown. He didn’t receive any messages on his phone so he stretched his senses through the Force, letting it guide his steps as he walked through the city towards where he felt the Force guiding him.
Still, it took Anakin almost 40 minutes to locate them. The Empire’s information network seemed to be much better than the ABB’s, at least as damaged as it currently was, because they were already positioned to ambush the incoming prisoner transport.
Most of their men were inside the buildings or hiding inside parked cars, a few were parked in an escape vehicle a few blocks away.
Unfortunately, from where he was, Anakin could only recognize two of the parahumans from his interactions in the villain meeting. They were not Force-sensitive and, as such, felt no different from the normal gang members. Anakin could attempt to disable them all simultaneously, but there were too many, and they were too well spread.
It was still not beyond his skill, but it would require focus and concentration, leaving him momentarily open to a surprise attack… and he did not fully trust himself to not crush their throats.
Slow and steady was perfectly fine. He was not here to kill them, he was here to send a message.
Letting the Force cloak fade from around him, Anakin released his control over his presence, immediately drawing every eye toward his position. Walking in the middle of the street, he gave the civilians time to realize what was happening and to start running, his aura blanketing the area and hurrying them along.
Then he lifted the edge of his cloak with his left hand and pulled his lightsaber towards his right with the Force, the red blade igniting with such strength it blew his hood back, crimson bolts of power escaping from the unstable containment field, leaving scorched scars on the asphalt.