LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 629: If I'm the god of this universe...?
"Bonger… Before I go to do my own, normal thing… Tell me, will this be possible to return to that world for a little longer?"
After experiencing the details of a real-world that I longed for, for so long… I sadly couldn't find any difference from what I could live through on any of the planets that held any basic form of life. As long as I was willing to tinker around creating a temporary body for myself, I could even freely enjoy the sensations that were simply not possible for any human to even experience…
But it wasn't about experiencing things. If I wanted some cheap thrills or fun, there was nothing stopping me from manipulating the growth of life on any given planet to make it evolve into human-like creatures. With enough efforts, I would create entire planets filled with everything that I could ever desire… That is if my mentality didn't grow above those pitiful, earthy desires.
In fact, the only thing that was truly human that still remained in me was my attachment to Eve and to my promises. I still had yet to fulfil the promise of helping that fellow eartherner, the master of the golem that helped me so much in the past. Just this alone would be enough to keep me going. But once I added my attachment to Eve…
"It would take a while. I basically need to gather enough energy to squeeze you into that world and keep you squeezed while you are in there. For about a millennium worth of gathering energy… I think I could buy you a day."
The reality dawned upon me like a hammer striking an iron. And just like such hammering would remove the impurities and slag from the mould, it purified me out of all my doubts and hesitations.
Because there was no way I could survive through this way of living. As easy as it sounded to live through a millennium in my current form, I was perfectly aware that at the rate at which my consciousness was constantly expanding, in just a few cycles of visiting Eve and going back, I would lose all of the humanity that was still in me.
In other words, while this would be a great way to sustain my sanity for the few first circles, it would be actually nothing more than just a temporary measure. And within the time that this method would buy me, I had to find a way to solve the problem at its core instead of relying on some dubious countermeasures!
"Is this truly the only way? It's not like I think you would hide it away from me, just asking to make sure I know everything that there is to know."
Turning to Bonger once again, I would look at him sternly if I have any physical eyes, to begin with. Right now, my formless body was simply wrapping his entire existence with the very basic and simplest form of magic, allowing me to perceive him through its changes.
"Well… It's not exactly true that there isn't another way… But I don't think you will be happy with it. Directly speaking, you can return to that world anytime you want… Sadly, only if you would never dare to absorb any form of energy. Once even a shred of magic or entropy enters your body, it would violently react to its presence and awake your true power. In other words, you would be stuck at the very bottom of existence, unable to grow without returning to your true form. And that means…"
Even though I was initially about to flare up when my expectations about Bonger's way of communicating stuff to me were broken, but soon his words proved that his judgment was right. In the end, no matter how much my psyche would develop from the insane influx of information from all my copies, he was still created with half of my brain. It was no wonder he made the decision not to mention this method, as there was no way I would agree to it.
Because of a simple reason. The entire idea of returning to the world wasn't about living in luxury given the place I earned in that world… But having Eve by my side. That was the main and only point making me do my absolute hardest to find a way to reunite with her.
The recent moment that the two of us shared only reinforced this feeling. But as great as the idea of returning to Eve's world sounded, what would be the point if I would never ever be able to make it to the immortal's continent where she resided?
"And that means that there was no point bringing this option in the first place. I get it. So we are stuck with ages worth of gathering magic just so that I could get a single day with my damned wife. Eh, should I look for some hermitage planet so that we could grow our bears and wear some rags?"
Just speaking about this idea out loud managed to rile me up. Why couldn't my life be as simple as it would be on earth? Why was I stuck with the standards of this strange, magical world rather than with the rules and reality of earth? Why couldn't my greatest problem be the fact that it was my work rival that received a completely meaningless promotion? Why I was stuck with trying to find a way to move between the worlds instead of throwing all the worries aside the moment I would return home, falling into the soft embrace of my dearest wife?
And then I noticed. There was absolutely no point for me to conform to the reality that surrounded me. Wasn't this denial, this rebellious way of thinking the very reason why the humans managed to achieve so much? Be it the world of magic and sword or the world of processors and atomic bombs, humanity always strived to overcome its limits in the pursuit of something greater.
Why I was allowing myself to be stuck on a certain problem? What was stopping me from using the greatest problem-solving method that humanity ever came up with? What was stopping me from outsourcing every last part of my problem to others to bother with?
Wasn't this universe of mine already abundant with semi-intelligent life? What if I could shield if from the great filter that would otherwise bring demise to most of those budding hotspots of life and civilisation, instilling a sense of duty in those beings, aimed at fulfilling my own purpose?
If I was the god of this entire universe, what was stopping me from acting like one?