What We Do to Survive

“Very good, very– steady now, nice and slow, feel the flow…” I fiddled slightly with one of the lenses of my enchanted glasses, adjusting the focus so I could more clearly see what my classmate was doing. Professor Yana continued to murmur advice and encouragement as she watched over his progress like a hawk.

Though she looked rather casual, relaxed even, standing as she was with her hands folded neatly behind her back, I could tell that our professor was ready to jump in at the first sign that something was going wrong. Under the sight of my enchanted glasses, I could clearly see the tightly coiled buildup of mana within her loosely held arms, a dozen different spellforms ready to be unleashed at a moment's notice.

It was a comforting and humbling display. On one hand, she was one of the few professors who genuinely seemed to care about her students. If someone like Professor Meadows was teaching, I was sure she wouldn’t even consider trying to help if something went wrong. She would probably just sit back and laugh while the unfortunate student calcified or exploded.

On the other hand, it was yet another testament to the overwhelming power of the faculty. I could hold a spell at the ready. It was a tricky bit of magic but doable with my current skills. If the spells had enough overlap in what spellforms they used, I could even potentially prime two or three different spells at once.

What she was doing though? Not a chance. I could see at least a dozen distinct segments held carefully separated just under her skin, each corresponding to a different spellform. I recognized a few of them, or at least some sections of them. Bits of Reconstruct, As-Things-Were, and Life, along with several other completely unfamiliar forms were written out in flowing mana.

Someday, I told myself. Someday. I briefly noted down some of the clearer sections from the forms I didn’t recognize to look up later. It was possible those were just sections of a more common form that I was unfamiliar with, but it was good practice to learn about as many spellforms as possible. It was helpful in many aspects, particularly in identifying what a hostile mage might be casting.

I shook my head, returning my attention to the focus of today’s lesson. Kalvin Boor, one of the few fourth-years in the class, was sitting at the center of the room, eyes clenched tightly shut and mouth moving in a silent chant as he focused intently on his magic. Now that we were more than half way through the semester, Professor Yana had decided we were ready to finish forming our own shifter’s foundations. Without it, it would be nearly impossible to practice any of the magic we were going to be learning for the rest of the year, making it a key part of the class.

We had all gone through most of the initial parts of the process already, mostly consisting of some simple exercises, short rituals, and specific potions, but now it was time for the final step. We had to ‘lock in’ our bodies, functionally take a snapshot of our natural state and tie it into our souls. Once that was done, we could safely cast all sorts of alteration spells on ourselves, safe in the knowledge that our souls would help revert us to our prior state if anything went wrong.

Kalvin stiffened and I watched curiously as a veritable wave of mana flowed out of his chest and through his body, soaking into every inch of muscle and bone. Professor Yana leaned forward slightly, fingers tense, as the mana rebounded throughout Kalvin’s body, the ripples shifting each time it met his skin.

It was an interesting thing to watch, somewhat reminiscent of waves breaking against a cliff face. I adjusted my glasses again, trying to peer past the roiling mana to see what was happening beyond the surface level. I hummed quietly in annoyance as another lens failed to clear up what I was looking at. Though I had made them only a few weeks before, I was already growing dissatisfied with the enchanted item’s performance.

It was still working just as well as I’d hoped, but since then I’d learned a much more detailed method of analyzing mana flows. Compared to just manually flooding something with my own mana and examining it that way, using a tool like this one felt… clunky. Unfortunately, that wasn’t really an option here. I didn’t think Kalvin would let me do something like that, and it would likely mess with his own work even if I did. For now, I would have to settle with this.

Kalvin’s body went limp as the mana finally receded back into his core. He slumped forward, nearly falling out of his chair until Professor Yana carefully steadied him. After several long moments, he pushed himself to his feet and slowly stumbled back to his spot.

Once he was back in his spot, Professor Yana turned to face the rest of us. “Well then, that went rather well I think. Excellently done, Mr. Boor, and thank you for volunteering to go first. What do you all think, very manageable, yes?”

Her question was greeted with a quiet chorus of yes’s and small nods. It really didn’t seem all that difficult, though that was after spending nearly ten weeks studying exercise specifically devised to assist with the process. I was pretty sure I could manage it without much difficulty.

The final step consisted primarily of internal mana manipulation, combined with three third circle spells that had to be performed during the process. I had practiced each of them extensively, and was confident I could cast them all flawlessly. The internal manipulation was barely worth mentioning, it was somewhat time and mana consuming, but I was pretty sure Janna could have managed it even before our tutoring sessions.

“Very good. Now then, do I have any volunteers to go next?” She scanned the room and I looked around as well, but it didn’t seem like anyone was going to step up. “No? Ok then, I’ll just choose someone. You should all be fully prepared for this by now, and it is a requirement to complete the course. I’m certain none of you are planning to fail now, are you?”

She paused and scanned the room again. “Well then, how about you Mr. Hunter? Come on up, don’t be shy. I’ll be ready to jump in if anything goes wrong.”

I got up, slightly surprised that she’d decided to pick me but not particularly worried. Though she tended to prioritize the few upper-years whenever she was having us go up and cast spells in class, I had done so several times already this year. Carefully slipping my glasses back in their case, I set it down in my bag and made my way up to the front of the room.

I sat down, stretching slightly as the professor moved to stand beside me just as she had with Kalvin. “Feel free to get started when you are ready.”

I nodded, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes. Reaching out to the dense core of mana at the center of my chest, I carefully began to spin it, winding up the delicate framework of my circulations back into my core. The immediate sense of weakness was distinctly unpleasant, especially surrounded by so many people, but it was unavoidable. I didn’t think it was likely that my circulations would interfere with the process, but it was known that certain kinds of internal magics could cause the soul to make an inaccurate image of the body and cause the process to fail catastrophically. With magic, it was always better to be safe than dead.

Once I was certain that all traces of my circulations had been drawn back into my core, I briefly reviewed the process I was about to undertake. First I had to cast a spell to ‘manifest’ my soul, briefly strengthening the link between body and spirit. It wasn’t strictly necessary, but just another precaution to ensure the process went smoothly. The natural connection that all life had to its soul should be strong enough on its own, but extra precautions were very important when dealing with this sort of self-targeting spellcraft.

Once that was done, I would need to establish a sort of internal framework, basically a simple circulation that would highlight my body’s natural mana channels. Apparently this was considered one of the more difficult steps, but I’d never had any issues while practicing. The circulation I maintained in my day to day life was miles more complicated.

Then came the second bit of spellwork, a multipurpose spell called ‘manaskin’ that was used in some forms of rituals but was also considered a useful bit of defensive magic. It formed a skin-tight shell around the caster’s body that prevented foreign mana from entering or your own personal mana from exiting the body. It wasn’t a particularly powerful barrier, barely able to stop something as weak as a first circle mana-bolt, but it was perfect for this sort of work.

Finally, you cast the last spell, this one a highly specialized bit of soul magic that had been developed centuries ago here at Avalon. It used a sort of magic pulse to map out the caster’s body, using the internal framework and manaskin as a guide, and then lock in that image in the caster’s soul. I had spent the majority of the last few days making absolutely certain that I could cast this spell perfectly. While the first part, the mapping, was completely safe, anything that messed directly with the soul was capital d dangerous. It was why Professor Yana was looming directly over me, ready to intercede at any moment. Soul damage could be catastrophic, and there was only a very short window of time to fix things before they cause permanent damage.

I took another deep breath. I had this. Compared to some of the spellwork I was trying to learn, this was nothing. As long as I was careful, everything would be fine. Professor Yana was right there, even if something went wrong I would be fine.

I took another deep breath, and began to cast.

“You want me to do what?” Miranda asked incredulously, voice rising in pitch as she stared back at the shorter girl. “And even if I could, why on earth would you want me to do that?

Briella met Miranda’s gaze squarely with her own, hands folded neatly behind her back as she faced the older student. “It’s not an unreasonable request. Master’s interests are our interests, it is only right that we strive to serve him to the best of our ability.”

Miranda opened her mouth, then closed it with a soft click. She bit her lip and looked away, an unreadable expression on her face. Eventually, she sighed and turned back to the second year. “I guess I can sort of see where you are coming from. What I don’t understand is why you think I could help you with something like that. Whatever he did to you, it was clearly much stronger than what he managed with me. You should have nothing to worry about.”

“Perhaps,” Briella admitted readily, “But that is not everything. I understand the Master's will, but I do not know how to best execute it. You have many more years of experience serving Master, more even than–” she paused suddenly and fell silent, a look of pained horror flashing across her face for a single instant before she pulled it back into a faint smile. “Apologies, forget I said anything.”

Miranda took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Whatever it is, I don’t want to know. Orion would tell me if he did.”

“Exactly. In any case, you have much more experience understanding what our Master wants us to do. He has given us some measure of instruction and we have some plans, but for now Master is leary of any visible connection between us. Even this meeting is pushing the boundaries of his will. You are too publicly associated with Master.”

“Maybe, but… I don’t think you want to use me as a measure of how to help Orion. I… haven’t done a very good job.” She paused again and shook her head, “No, don’t use me as inspiration. I’ve… made a mess of things. I’m lucky he still tolerates it, though now that he has you two…” Miranda trailed off, lips continuing to move soundlessly. Her hands clenched into fists, fingers digging into the hem of her short dress.

Briella tilted her head, “That's… not right. Master is quite fond of you.”

Miranda laughed ruefully, “Yes, I’m sure he is. He’s always worried about money, I’m sure I’ll fix that right up for him. Any day now–”

Before Miranda could react, Briella closed the distance between them with two quick steps. Miranda’s eyes widened and she began to raise a hand, mana rushing up her limb in a torrent, but it was too late.

Briella wrapped her arms around the older girl. “You’re wrong. I may not have known him for long, but I do not think Master would do something like that to you.” There was a short pause as Miranda stood awkwardly for several seconds, letting the spell she had begun to cast fade back into ambient mana. Eventually, she freed her arms and returned the hug.

After another moment, Briella spoke up again. “Well. Not without a good reason at least. I believe Master has enough reagents for now, and Cayla and myself should be able to provide some amount of materials for him as well.”

Miranda sighed. “Maybe you’re right, but… how can you say that? I don’t know what he did to you exactly but… well, our master, Orion, he’s… not a very nice man. He…” she trailed off after a moment. “I don’t know. He… he scares me sometimes.”

“Master is Master. We are only fit to serve him as he thinks best. Still, he is a practical man. He would not be so wasteful with your body. Master has told me somewhat of what you are, he would not throw that away for short term gains unless it was necessary.”

Miranda closed her eyes, trying to block out the other girl’s words of ‘encouragement’. It seemed whatever Orion had done to their heads had more of an effect than she’d thought. She’d run into the duo a few times in the last week, and had thought they’d somehow escaped his clutches mostly unchanged. Instead… Well, it seemed they just knew how to hide it.

She swallowed heavily at the thought. The girl standing in front of her was not the same person she’d stalked for weeks on Orion’s orders. That girl had been a consummate mage, but she’d still had some measure of empathy left in her. She never would have tried to comfort Miranda by saying how much more valuable she was as a slave than as a specimen.

It scared her, scared her in a way that nothing Orion had done before could. Someday, someday soon even, would that be her? Would she honestly tell another person that they should be happy to be a thing? An object to be used and disposed of on a whim?

This? This was her fault. She’d made this happen. She’d made this happen, and for another minute of tentative freedom, she would do it a thousand times over. As long as Orion was happy with her, she could still be… herself. Her will was not her own, but at least she still had it. That stunt with Brenda had proven it, she could still do things that were her own ideas, free from the constant pressure of her Oath. If she ever went too far though… Well, at least she knew now what was in store for her. Maybe getting rendered down for parts wouldn’t have been so bad.

Miranda swallowed again and opened her eyes, fixing a cheerful smile on her face. “Of course, if you think it would be useful, I’ll be happy to help. What do you want to know?”