What We Do to Survive

I knew I wasn’t a very good person. The years I’d spent living on my own I’d had to lie, steal, and cheat just to make a living. Captain Alvin’s disappointed eyes still haunted my dreams from when I’d jumped from his ship and disappeared into the docks with half his lockbox in tow as he sailed away. He’d been a good man, and had likely saved my life, yet I’d repaid his generosity and kindness with lies and theft.

Coming to Avalon, I’d hoped I could start a new, better life. I hadn’t known just how cutthroat a place the Academy was, even worse than the shady streets and criminal gatherings I’d frequented. At least there, they would kill you for a reason. It might just be for a handful of coins, but at Avalon it sometimes seemed that life was even cheaper than that.

Still, I hadn’t considered myself a real monster. I wasn’t like Professor Igor or Meadows, killing and torturing just for the pleasure of it. I’d always had a reason to do what I did. Miranda, Mistletoe, Clark, and Cathrin, all four students I’d targeted had come after me first. I’d only retaliated when they forced me to, and tried not to go overboard.

Clark and Cathrin had both tried to kill me, and so I’d returned the favor. Miranda had tried to eat me, so I turned things around on her and now used her for my own needs. Even with Mistletoe, who had done everything she could to torment me over the years, I had only done what was necessary to keep her contained and never used any sort of overt torture once I’d imprisoned her.

Even my plans for Briella and her friends were somewhat justified. Miranda’s report said the trio had killed at least four of their yearmates and had ambushed an unprepared third year just a few weeks ago. They had not done anything to me yet, but they were by no means innocent. If nothing else, they’d known what they were getting themselves into by coming to Avalon.

Waking up to the quiet sobs of a terrified girl who had never done anything to me? It made me feel like a monster. That my first thought was to punish her for waking me up in the first place only made things worse.

I didn’t regret taking her with me. It had been the decision Liam wanted me to make and I valued a connection to him much higher than I did her well being. Even if I hadn’t taken her, I had my doubts on her surviving the evening. I doubted rescue would have come in time to save her from drowning or hypothermia in the icy waters.

What I did regret is how harsh I’d been the night before. I’d been somewhat… high strung after the day's events, and had gone overboard in my actions. Rea, and I would need to get her actual name at some point probably, wasn’t an elf or a powerful mage, someone I needed to cowe until no shred of resistance remained. I imagined I could force her into a sufficiently powerful binding oath with just a few days of imprisonment.

At that point, all of this would be even more unnecessary. I couldn’t give her a good life, but there was no need to make it a living hell either. It would be harder to not get attached, but I could test experimental potions and spells on a slightly happier slave just as well as on a broken meat puppet.

If nothing else, it would be more useful to have a trained servant then another prisoner to take care of. I had no idea who the girl had been before, but I was sure she could move a bucket and change some sheets or something. Per Avalon policy, I couldn’t let her out of my room except for some rare exceptions, but having someone to take care of annoying chores would be handy.

I stood up, frowning as I took in the girl’s pathetic appearance. She was still where I’d left her, dangling obscenely by her wrists and ankles with her head slumped forward. There were tears leaking out from under her blindfold, dripping slowly down her cheeks and landing on her exposed breasts and belly. Her shoulders were shaking slightly, both from the strain of holding her body weight and from her crying.

I was somewhat curious what it was that had set her off. Had it been hunger? Pain from the position I’d left her hanging in? Or maybe the situation had finally sunk in for her and she’d finally decided it was hopeless? It had taken two days before Miranda had started crying , but then again, I hadn’t exactly hung her from my wall.

It was probably some combination of those. It had eventually overwhelmed the fear I’d pounded into her the night before, the idea of further punishment not enough to keep her silent. That was a good lesson to remember, fear could only take you so far if the situation was sufficiently awful already.

Checking on the spells I’d cast the night before, I found that they had been slightly stressed but still had several more hours before they risked collapsing. Several basic diagnostic spells confirmed that everything had worked as expected; there would be some bruising and chaffing where the edges of the cuffs bit into skin, but nothing more serious than that.

“Good morning,” I said loudly from right beside her. The purple-skinned girl nearly jumped out of her own skin, her head shooting up and would have slammed into the wall behind her if not for the protective spells I’d cast the night before.

Reaching out, I cupped her cheek with one hand, wiping away the tears trailing down her nose with my thumb. She went silent at the touch, breath coming in rapid bursts interspersed with weak sobs and hiccups.

“Do you want to tell me what rule number three was?”

Swallowing another sob, she weekly mumbled, “Not to talk unless you told me too, sir.”

“Very good. Well, I know crying is not really talking, but I think you should have understood regardless. Now tell me, what did I say would happen if you broke any of the rules?”

“You told me you’d make me suffer, sir.”

“Exactly. So, what do you think I should do to you now, hmm? Not only did you break the rules, but you also tried to attack me. It was a futile effort, but that was very naughty of you.”

Fortunately for her, she didn’t say anything. I patted her cheek with fake affection. “Good girl. Now how hard was that to understand? Say it.”

“Simple, sir. I’m sorry sir.”

I patted her cheek softly. “I imagine you’ve had a very uncomfortable night.”

She did not respond, simply letting her head fall forward, resting her chin on her chest.

“Are you going to break the rules again?” I asked her after a moment’s pause.

She shook her head rapidly, half cleaned and matted hair slapping against her skin and the wall behind her.

“I think that’s good enough for me.” I slid the tiny pegs that made sure none of her manacles could slip out of their hooks out with a thought, dropping them in a bowl on my table. Fortunately, she wasn’t a particularly large young woman, so it wasn’t too difficult to lift her body with a simple spell. Her arms and legs dropped down limply the moment I lifted her off the hooks, sore and stiff muscles unable to support their own weight.

She didn’t even try to struggle as I carefully floated her back in the cage, which honestly made things worse. She wasn’t the willful, desperate killer Miranda had been a few years ago. I paused before sealing the top of the cage, fetching a large towel from my linen closet and dropping it on the unmoving girl. It sometimes got chilly in my room, and the metal cage rested directly on the cold stone floor.

A quick time spell told me it was late morning, a few hours after I typically woke up but still a half-hour or so before I could go get lunch. I quickly put together ‘breakfast’ for my new pet, mixing half a dose of nutrition potion with a small quantity of a weak healing elixir, water, and some of the dense goop I used for Mistletoe. It didn’t come out looking particularly appetizing, but it should theoretically keep her full and nourished for an entire day.

I poured the resulting concoction, a thick, red-brown syrup, into a small bottle and dropped it into her cage with a stern command to drink it all. Things would be simpler once I had Mistletoe ready for milking, a few cups of that mixed with water would serve as a basically free replacement for food. For now, I would see if I could use something like this, without having to resort to a fitted feeder-gag like I’d crafted for my elf.

I technically had enough feed for both her and Mistletoe, but I wanted to keep a buffer until I optimized the elf’s new food source. The stuff I was using now wasn’t particularly expensive, but I’d purchased it in bulk from a specialty shop and the Avalon portal was no longer connected to that city.

Nutrient potions had the issue that it degraded rapidly when mixed with other substances, but was otherwise rather cheap. If I could replace most of Rea’s food with the stuff until I had her properly soul-bound, it would greatly lower the strain on how much feed I was using every day. Once she’d sworn a full set of binding vows, I would be able to rely on her to eat on her own, but until then I hoped hunger would overcome any revulsion towards eating out of a bottle.

I made it to the cafeteria just as lunch was being served. I nodded politely to several staff members and students I recognized, but otherwise ignored everyone around me. I was too tired, too wound up by the events of the last few days, to really care about anyone else right now.

After a quick meal, I finally headed to the library as I’d been meaning to for days now. Besides dealing with my newest toy, I had the entire day to myself and I had big plans. I was finally going to figure out a proper way of making shields with pure mana and hopefully make some serious progress in some of my other projects as well. I didn’t have anything pressing to worry about till my meeting with Janna the next day, and even then I was mostly prepared for that already.

I spent almost a full hour combing through the shelves, coming away with a tall stack of texts on protective magic and a single thin volume of first through fifth circle pain spells. I noticed several other books I wanted to take a look at, but they were all ‘delicate materials’, meaning you had to study them in the library itself. There would be time for that later, maybe even this evening. This was a good start for now.

Arriving back at my room, I was surprised to find a large package sealed with the Avalon crest, a circle of blooming flowers surrounding a stylized wizard’s staff. After testing the seal and finding it genuine, I carefully pushed the heavy crate into my room and set it in a corner near the door. It was shockingly heavy for its size, taking all my strength to just push it across the smooth ground, and I was curious what it might be, but I could deal with whatever it was later.

I was pleased to find that Rea had drunk the entire bottle, and was now fitfully dozing with the thick towel wrapped around her like a blanket. She was drooling somewhat in her sleep, tossing and turning while mumbling something unintelligible under her breath. It was somewhat annoying, but nothing a simple silencing spell couldn’t handle.

I considered disciplining her, but decided it would be counterproductive. I could just leave her in the cage for a few days, feeding her when necessary, until she was sufficiently desperate for the oaths to bind properly. She hadn’t touched her blindfold either, which was an encouraging sign. I would have to remember to let her out a few times, just to make sure she could get a small amount of stretching and exercise in, but that was a problem for later.

Looking between her and Mistletoe, I wondered what my parents would think of me if they saw me now. Would they be repulsed? Proud? Angry at what I’d become or impressed by the progress I’d made? Well, it didn’t matter. It hadn’t mattered for years.

They were gone, and I would do whatever it took to avenge them. Was what I was doing wrong? Probably. It certainly didn’t fit in with the morals my parents had tried to instill in me growing up. Still, it was those exact morals that had gotten them burned to death on what was supposed to be a happy day for our family.

That day had certainly taught me one final lesson. I remembered the first time we’d encountered goblins while out hunting with my father. He’d killed the trio of green-skinned humanoids with a single well-placed arrow each. They’d all been dead before they could even react.

After seeing the goblin’s camp, complete with its little cooking fire and makeshift tents, I’d asked him why we hunted animals and monsters, some of them smart enough to use tools and wear clothes like us. He’d told me, ‘We do what we must for the lives of our family, our friends, and our people. They wouldn’t have thought twice about killing us, so why should we do anything different?’

On that day, I’d finally understood. We all did what we must to survive.

I spent the rest of the day leisurely going through the books I’d grabbed. I had to give it to Elpha, Mistletoe did make a particularly convenient foot rest. I only left my room twice, both to eat and to grab more reference books from the library. At the end of the day, I felt I’d made some serious progress. I wasn’t able to implement some of the really advanced techniques, such as the nine-layered mana shield that could, in theory, block any single spell due to some utterly mind bending principles of mana cancellation, but I hadn’t expected anything like that anyway.

Instead, I spent hours experimenting with various configurations and designs, testing for both durability and how quickly I could summon that shield. I wasn’t looking for something super complex and powerful, if I wanted that I could use one of the fourth circle shield spells I’d painstakingly practiced over the summer. Instead, I just needed something I could throw up in an emergency to take a hit. It was much more important that I could summon the shield in an instant, I didn’t care if it broke under the very first blow as long as it could deal with that much.

In the end, I landed on two styles that I intended to practice with further. The first was a delicate looking construct of tiny threads wound back and around each other. It was more complicated than many of the shields I’d experimented with, but I had a lot of experience forming my mana into exactly that sort of threads so it came rather easily to me. From my testing, I estimated that it was about as strong as the third circle deflect spell I’d learned earlier in the year. It wouldn’t handle direct force particularly well, but it was very durable when hit at an angle and should theoretically be able to eat most energy-based attack spells.

The second was a very simple, brute force design, very similar to what I’d done to block the lightning earlier in the week. Unlike that crude construct though, this shield would have likely fully stopped that attack without dissipating. It had the disadvantage of being horribly mana inefficient, I could cast three or four fourth circle spells for the cost of summoning this shield, but even with only a half hour of practice I could summon it in a heartbeat.

I would add both to my rotation of mana shaping exercise for now. I would need to do some more research and refinement in the future, combine the various elements I’d seen in the dozens of examples into something that fit my skills perfectly, but that was something of a long term project. For now, these would do nicely.

I was getting ready for bed when I finally remembered about the package waiting for me in the corner. I kicked myself about how I’d completely forgotten it was there, and immediately went to investigate. Hopefully I hadn’t ruined some sort of alchemical potions that required specific storage conditions. That would be incredibly awkward.

I was coming to realize that the obsessive focus I’d developed over the years was not always a boon. Sure, it had saved my life at the beginning and had been a great boon in my studies, but sometimes I found it turning into tunnel vision at the worst times. I got so focused on whatever project I was currently working on that I barely noticed what else was going on around me. It was something I needed to work on but didn’t really know how to, just like my social skills.

The seal on the crate came undone with just a touch of mana. It had been tuned specifically to my unique magical signature and would have resisted anyone else’s attempt to tamper with it. Inside the large crate was another, smaller box, along with a small stack of documents bound with a blue ribbon.

I was instantly surprised and intrigued when I saw the top paper. It was the writ of delivery, marked with information about who had sent the package, who had delivered it, and who the recipient was. I was surprised to see two very important names at the top of the page. Elpha’s was one thing, I hadn’t expected anything yet but she had promised me more payment at some point. I did not expect to see the Myrddin's name written directly above hers, his titles taking up a good third of the paper all on their own. What could he be sending me and why?

I set the paper aside and flipped quickly through the other four papers in the stack. One was about the content of the chest, I paged past it for the moment, the next was about handling instructions which I similarly ignored. Finally, I found what I was likely looking for. A formal document stamped with the seal of Avalon and glittering with intricate swirls of magic to my mana sense.

I almost choked on my own spit when I scanned the page. Holy shit. I hadn’t realized Avalon took their promise of ‘private rooms’ that seriously. My eyes widened and my mouth fell open as I continued reading. Twenty thousand pieces? Well, not all to me, but that was just an unfathomable amount of wealth. Even five thousand pieces was more wealth than I’d seen in my entire life, more than my parents, their parents, and their parents’ parents had earned combined in their entire lives.

The last section was honestly even more mind bending. An actual blood oath not to share anything she’d seen? That was… that was insane. I was just… me. A nobody, and someone had made Elpha Lifebane swear a blood oath to keep my secrets. My respect for Avalon’s upper echelons rose immensely. I’d known they took rules for students seriously, but to see them levy penalties like this against powerful members like her was just insane.

Looking away from the document, my eyes fell on the small chest inside the larger crate. Wait, if this was my copy of the contract, that meant… I snatched the papers I’d set aside earlier from where I’d dropped them. Five. Thousand. Pieces. I stared at the manifest for a long moment, scarcely able to believe what my eyes were telling me. The papers slipped from my fingers as I dropped to my knees beside the crate. I had to see it, had to see it for myself.

Just like the crate, the chest’s seal came apart with barely a touch. I could instantly feel the mana emanating off it, a mix of defensive enchantments, spatial expansion spells, and the magics woven into the coinage of various denominations. I could only stare in numb silence as the chest slowly opened, revealing riches I could have barely imagined a few minutes earlier.

The chest was divided into three sections, each containing a different form of currency. Though most nations minted at least some amount of their own coinage, there were several forms of currency that were widely accepted anywhere in the world. The most common of these currencies were the ‘pieces’. Formed from naturally magical materials, they were valuable not just because someone said they were, but for their use in many forms of artifice and alchemy.

These materials could not be transmuted, making them an excellent form of currency for mages. Furthermore, each coin or bar was marked with a special identifying enchantment, making counterfeiting even more difficult. I didn’t know the specifics of it all, but I’d read enough to be able to identify what I was looking at.

The left-most section contained a small stack of silvery bars that I was pretty sure were mana-forged platinum. Each bar was worth fifty pieces and I could count twenty of the thumb-sized bars. The central section was the largest and it was filled to the brim with small square coins that I’d seen a few times in the past. These were the most basic form of the currency, each worth a single piece and crafted out of deep-brass. I wasn’t sure how many of them were in the box, but I imagined they were the primary contributor to how heavy the crate had been.

The content of the last section almost stopped me in my tracks again. Three tiny cubes nearly glowed in their velvet lined compartment. Even if I hadn’t known what the higher denominations of pieces were made from, it would have been impossible to not recognize the wonder I was looking at. Adamantine, the crystalized blood of ancient gods. One of the most valuable materials in the world.

I reached down slowly, my finger stopping a few millimeters away from the precious metal. I could feel a nearly physical pressure emanating off the ‘coins’, the mana they held so dense even non-mages were said to be affected by it. It was… it was too much to think about right now. I pulled my hand away and slammed the chest shut, blocking out the mana emanating off the incredible bounty of wealth I was looking at.

I was too tired to think about what this meant. I couldn’t imagine Elpha was particularly happy with me, twenty thousand pieces was a lot, even for someone like her. Hopefully she wouldn’t take that anger out on me, but I would have to be careful the next time we met. Fortunately, it seemed Avalon really was serious about protecting us students. After finding her just… sitting in my room unconcerned, I’d been worried that it was mostly a sham. Clearly, Elpha had been the overconfident one.

The situation was manageable. More than that, it seemed finally something had gone my way. This was going to change so much for me. I would be able to afford materials, texts, so many things I had considered far beyond my grasp for most of my life. It wasn’t an absurd amount of money, but it was more than I had expected to see for years to come. Suddenly having access to so much capital would simplify so many issues. Money opened doors in a way few other things could.

For the rest of the night, I could not stop smiling. I even gave Rea an extra blanket and spent half an hour ‘rewarding’ Mistletoe. For once, after such a crummy week, everything seemed to be going my way. What a great way to end an already productive day…