What Lies Beneath the Skin

Chapter Five:

I Lost a Night or Two

Garrett

The library was always close to empty by nine on Tuesday nights. Most students, on this campus at the very least, were sharing pizza and beers in their dorms, playing Mario Kart or cramming for exams with friends. They didn’t care about being late for class the next day, about missing one quiz, about getting home before the sun rose. They simply existed to exist.

I was not one of them.

I frequented the campus library so often that I was given special access to the third floor, an area where only graduate students and employees were supposed to dwell. My home became that third floor; many nights, security would find me face down in an ancient tome about hemoglobin or genetic code. They would shake their heads and me awake, escort me to my car, and frown as I tried to make my way back home, only to repeat the cycle the same day.

Today was no different.

My phone buzzing was what actually woke me up, a constant and irritating rumble under my left cheek that just would not let up. I groggily peered through eyes crusted shut by sleep, and tried to rub them clear so I could see who was calling. Paige was the culprit; she had left four voicemails before giving up, her last text calling me some colorful names. I heaved a low sigh and stiffly raised my head, peering about myself to try and catch up with what was happening around me. Surprisingly, the library was still open, so I must have not slept as long as I thought. Cameron was cleaning up after a few people, but he hadn’t sent anyone after me just yet.

Out of pure exhaustion, I began to let my cheek fall back into the pages of a textbook on genetic diseases, but the familiar sound of heavy boots coming up the steps made my eyes open again. “Dude, can you answer your sister? She’s called me like ten times!” Isaac barked as he slammed his backpack down beside me.

“Why are you still here…?” I grumbled into the textbook pages.

He huffed and slid my binder aside so he could open his own backpack and empty it on the table beside me, “I have class at six on Wednesdays, you know that. We just got out, and since I know you don’t ever go home, I figured I’d keep you some company.” He reached over to grab my phone and press it into my open palm sternly, “Phone, sister, call, NOW.”

“Ok, ok…” I whined, shoving him away so I could dial her number in peace. I let out another annoyed sigh as I listened to the tone four times, but when she answered, the sound of a hospital oxygen machine made my heart skip a beat. “Paige? Is everything ok?” I asked, sitting up straight to give her my full attention.

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that? I get your busy, but for fucks sake, Garrett, would it kill you to pick up your phone once in a while?”

“Paige, why are you in a hospital?” I shot over her.

She sucked her teeth in annoyance, “Our new case? The one Mom tried to tell you about this morning? Yeah, it’s pretty bad. He’s… He’s really banged up, Garrett, like, real good. Moms went home to grab a change of clothes and stay the night with him; he has to have surgery tomorrow morning.”

“Jesus Christ… What happened?” I mumbled, angry with myself for not calling sooner.

Paige’s voice lowered considerably, “He’s literally covered head to toe in bruises, and his hand and ankle are shattered. Jesse’s not overly worried, but… this kid is a wreck.”

“Kid? How old is he?”

“Our age. He’s really cool, but… yeah… this is gonna be a rough one.” She exhaled softly before shifting on what sounded like a plastic wrapped chair. “Can you grab me before you head home? Moms said I needed to head back and close up, and they would stay with him. I know you’re busy, but I didn’t know who else to call?”

“No, no, I’ll be right there. Just, hang tight for a few minutes. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I hung up and set my phone face down on my bag. Isaac waited for me to say something, his brown eyes wide with curiosity. “Guess my moms took another case, and this one is… really bad.” I mumbled, moving my hand up to hug myself.

“Is, everything ok? Like, can they handle it?” He asked carefully.

“I mean, yeah, they can handle whatever, but… Paige sounds really worried. He has to have surgery, and he’s covered in bruises. He’s our age, Isaac…” I gripped my shirt sleeve tighter, “I don’t think we’ve ever had someone this young before. It… kind of scares me, to be honest.”

“It would scare me too. But, hey, maybe you and Paige can be really close with him or something. Seems like he might stick around if he’s going to be banged up for a while?”

I shrugged carefully, “Yeah, maybe. I just…” I bit my lip, unsure of how to say what I wanted to at first, “I just, like… I’m kind of overwhelmed right now, so this is… a lot.”

Isaac clapped a hand on my shoulder and patted it twice, “Garrett, this is your moms business, not yours. Let them take the reins for once. You have enough going on this semester. Focus on your practice exams, and if they need you, they’ll tell you. I know you’re going to work with them one day, but you still have a while until that point.”

I nodded and slid my books into my messenger bag, “Yeah, maybe. I got to pick Paige up from the hospital, but I might just, sit back and chill this time. My moms seem to have it covered, and Paige needs something to occupy her time right now. I have to pass my practice exam, I just have to.” I clenched my fist tightly under the table, “Williams will kill me if I fail.”

“I didn’t say torture yourself for his sake,” Isaac scoffed with an eye roll, “I meant, don’t throw yourself into this head first like you usually do. I’d like to see you cross the stage in one piece this December.” He clapped our hands together in our childhood handshake before nodding to the stairs, “I’m gonna head out soon myself. Maybe take some time and get actual sleep tonight, eh? You look like a corpse.”

“Thanks, asshole.” I sniffed, though he laughed lightly and flipped me off as I passed.

╪

I texted Paige that I had arrived, but instead of going inside, I got out of my car so I could light a cigarette and blow smoke rings into the chilly night air. I had gone through a pack and a half this week, and knew I should slow down before my habit caught up with me, but that wasn’t my main concern right now. Our mothers had arrived shortly before I did; I was happy I didn’t catch them in the parking lot. I honestly didn’t have the energy to see them tonight.

Paige looked absolutely exhausted when she came out of the main doors. Her eyeliner was smudged around her pale eyes, and her hair thrown into a messy bun. Some strands were breaking free since her hair was technically too short to pull back still, but she had given up caring at this point. She looked up to see where I was parked, and when she saw me puffing my second cigarette, her eyes narrowed in annoyance. “I thought you said you were quitting.” She snapped as she stormed over, reaching out to try and steal the cigarette from me.

I quickly took a long inhale before flicking it over head, “Mind your business. You want something to eat before I take you home?”

“Kind of, yeah.” She slid into my car and cranked the seat back so she could lie down as I drove, “Chicken nuggets with sweet and sour, and a frosty. A big one.”

“Gotchya, chief.” I pulled out of the hospital parking lot and down the now quiet streets of New Haven, trying desperately to keep my eyes open as I drove. Paige sent one last text to our mothers before setting her phone in the cupholder, silencing it, and letting out a groan to get us talking. “So, um… long day?” I tried.

“Super long. Longer than ever.” She replied, using the crank to drop the window slightly, “I don’t know if we’ve ever taken a case this bad, dude. This is out of my wheelhouse. I’m letting moms handle it, and just trying to keep his spirits up. It’s gonna be a lot.”

“Hmm…” I mumbled, gripping the steering wheel slightly tighter.

Paige flicked her eyes up to me, and after a moment, she let out a sarcastic snort, “You know, Garrett, I wasn’t calling you to ask you to come help, so you can drop the attitude.”

“Excuse me?” I scoffed, turning to glare at her at a red light.

“You’re acting like this is the biggest inconvenience in the world to you.”

“Paige, I have been up for two days straight studying. I’m a little tired, so yeah, I’m not exactly in the mood to talk. I never said I didn’t care about the case, so lay the fuck off.”

Paige sat up straighter with a deeper frown, so intense that it made her forehead wrinkle, “Yeah, tired, let’s go with that. You’re always tired, Garrett, always somewhere, God knows where, always ignoring everything to do with anything.” I hit the brakes so hard that she shot forward and hit the dashboard. She grabbed her chest with a loud wheeze of pain, and coughed once before smacking my arm, “What the fuck was that for?!”

“You have two options. One, you shut your mouth and let me take you home, or you get out of my car and walk.” I snapped while staring straight ahead at the swaying traffic lights. Paige’s eyes widened in shock, and at first, she didn’t answer. I slid a hand over my face so she wouldn’t see the anger consuming it; my leg shook wildly as I spoke, “I’ve had absolutely enough, Paige, enough of moms, enough of my friends, and enough of you. Everyone bitches at me for being so busy, but you seem to forget that I’m studying for exams that get me into medical school. It’s not like I’m fucking around all day!”

“You chose to be a doctor, Garrett. No one forced you to do this; no one ever said you had to work for the resource center. You chose this all on your own, and by choosing this path, you need to be somewhat involved in the cases we take. That’s the whole fucking point of being a doctor, isn’t it!? I didn’t ask you to come home and help us with anything, and you’re acting like I’m the biggest annoyance in the world to you!?” She began huffing in pure anger, “I had a long day too, ok. I’ve been trying to be the perfect support system to a kid who’s stepdad smashed his hand with a hammer! That is scary, Garrett, and it’s exhausting to act professional in that circumstance. I get you’re tired, but for a second, consider other people are just as tired.”

I scoffed and shook my head, “If I don’t pass these exams I don’t get into med school, and if I don’t get into med school, I don’t get to be a doctor for the clinic. I can’t do twenty things at once, Paige. I’m not annoyed with you; you’re being over sensitive because you’re tired. I’m just tired, plain and simple. I want to be there for our case, but if I don’t get some damn rest, I’m not going to be there for anyone. I can’t be in twenty places at once, so cut me some slack for once in your life!” My voice had begun to raise considerably, and I knew I didn’t want this to escalate further, so I shrunk back into my seat and laid my forehead on the window. “Please, just… just give me a break tonight, ok? I’m not annoyed with you, I’m just really stressed about my test.”

Paige was surprised I had gotten this angry, and realized what I had finally. She set a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it lovingly, her eyes wide with worry. “Hey, I’m sorry, really. I didn’t mean to snap like that. I know you’re working hard, and you’re doing the best you can, I’m just really worried about you. Really worried, Garrett.”

I slowly pulled back onto the main road, my mind a millions miles from the main conversation, “Don’t be, I’m fine. I’m gonna grab us some food, then go home and get some actual sleep. I might drop dead if I don’t.”

╪

Paige told me to get to bed while she finished locking the hotel up with the night auditor, and I was honestly grateful they didn’t want my help. I trudged up the steps to the third floor and opened my bedroom door slowly, sighing at the sight of my untouched bed. I hadn’t been home in over three days, so seeing my grey comforter made me smile slightly. I fell into the bed with a long groan, and after lying there for a moment, I picked my head up to check the time. I knew if I took a shower I could squeeze in a full eight hours tonight, which sounded heavenly compared to the hour and a half I managed to get on Chris’s couch yesterday.

The hot water always took forever to reach my bathroom, but once it was spilling down my back, the tension in my muscles slowly released. I let my head fall back so the water would spray my face, and though it burned slightly, I forced myself to endure it so I could fully relax. I scratched my hair wildly just so the soap would really cling onto each strand, and I would be forced to take extra time washing it away. After my shower, I sat in boxers and a sweatshirt in the middle of my bed, and turned on some anime to watch while I ate my cold fast food.

I was quite angry with myself for giving into Paige’s argument earlier. We always nitpicked each other, sure, but for us to get into a full blown argument… it just didn’t sit right with me. I always tried my best to not let my family see how stressed I was, and tonight, I had more than slipped up, adding more to their plate then there ever was. Paige was right; she had been the one dealing with our new case, and she was probably just as exhausted as I was, physically and emotionally. She always took the brunt of being welcoming to our cases, and poured herself into each one like her life depended on it. The least I could do was help.

I crumpled my trash up and stuffed it into a bag behind my door, then went into the hallway so I could pull a box out from the closet and sift through some of the bins of supplies we had. I realized I knew utterly nothing about our new case, so I carefully opened his bedroom door and peered inside. There really wasn’t anything added to the room beyond a beat up backpack and Mom’s usual welcome basket. A pizza box and two liter were on the desk, both half full, so I closed the box properly and put the soda in the fridge for him later on. He kept up after himself well; the towels from his shower were folded neatly on the back of the toilet, and his other toiletries lined the right side of the sink in a uniform row. I added an unopened box of cologne and men’s face wash for him, stashes from my personal supply in case he wanted to smell like something other than hotel branded shampoo.

I didn’t dare touch his backpack out of respect, but I noticed he had a wallet and an envelope on his bedside table. The envelope had an old bus ticket and some cash sticking out of it; I pulled the ticket loose so I could read where he had departed from. “Pittsburgh, eh?” I mumbled as I stuck the ticket back into the envelope, and the envelope into the safe so no one would touch his money. The wallet followed the envelope, and after I had made the bed up with a few extra pillows, I brought my attention back to the backpack.

There were a few ironed on patches and such on the outside of the black bag, bands and such that he liked, so I figured he might be on the edgier side based on the colors and artists. Equipped with this information, I came back from the hall closet and laid a couple outfits on the dresser that seemed to match his aesthetic. I made sure to grab middle ground sizes; Paige had mentioned that he was thin from mistreatment, and while concerning, I knew he would bulk back up within a few weeks of being here. I also laid a dark grey throw blanket across the bed, and a couple of graphic novels I had read a while back and kept hidden in my bookshelves, just so he had something to do after surgery.

I laid a hand on his pillows and sighed deeply, “I wonder who you are, and why life brought you to us? At such a weird time, too…” I noticed one of Paige’s welcome cards was sitting on the side table; I picked it up and turned it over to read her loving note. “Hayden… that’s a nice name.”

“He’s a nice kid, too.” I jumped when Paige peeked into the room, crossing her arms as she surveyed what I had done to spruce it up, “I knew you couldn’t resist getting involved.”

“I just… wanted to help you a little.” I set the card down, “You already did a lot, and he should be comfortable when he gets back.”

“I appreciate you doing this much. I had planned to do this myself, but now, I can focus on decorating a little to make him feel more at home. He and I have similar tastes, and I might have splurged too much last time I went to Five Below.” Paige heaved a long sigh through her nose before brushing her eyes, as a tear had filled them, “This one… he’s really pulling on my heart strings. He acts like an abused animal, a skittish cat. I mean, he wants to talk and be social, but he’s got this horror in his eyes, like someone’s holding a knife over his head. I really hope we can help him, Garrett, I really do.”

I clenched the pillow I had my hand on, “That’s truly awful. I hope we can help, too.”

Paige cracked a sly smile and giggled playfully, “You know, he’s quite the looker, too. Dark hair, green eyes… quite adorable underneath the bruises. And did I mention he’s gay, too?”

“Paige…” I warned in a teasing tone that made her laugh again.

“Hey, I’m just trying to lighten the mood.” She moved to sit beside me, and rolled her lips loudly, “I really didn’t want to leave him, but I know moms will take good care of him. He’s responding really well to me, which is good. I’m sure it helps when your scared of adults to have someone your age around.”

“Yeah,” I slid an arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze, “Look, I promise I care. I care so much that I would be at the hospital myself if I knew I could be. I just… Paige, if I don’t prioritize some stuff over other stuff right now, I don’t know if I can keep going. I didn’t mean to sound insensitive, or as if I don’t care; I care so much that I’m torturing myself in school so I can care for the rest of my life. If I don’t stay on top of my studies, I can blow this whole thing in a heartbeat. Please, understand when I say that I’m not annoyed, and I do care immensely.”

“I know, I know… I just wish you had more time to be involved, but I get it. You are involved; you’re ensuring the center and clinic continue well past moms, that our family stays running it. I just get caught up in my own emotions sometimes is all.”

I poked her nose so she would smile, “You’re the real rockstar. You’ve obviously helped him immensely, and you need to give yourself credit for that. I appreciate you picking up my slack, Paige, really. These next couple of weeks are gonna be really tough because of my practice exam, but if he’s going to be healing anyway, then I might have to be a little hands off.” I bit my lip in shame, “It really isn’t what I want, but I need to pass this exam.”

Paige shrugged casually, “I get it. Do what you got to do, Garrett. It’s probably better not to overwhelm him with so many people right now. Just promise that when he’s better, you’re going to be there, too? I think you would really like him, and honestly, he needs some positive men in his life after what happened.”

I nodded eagerly, “I don’t plan to not say hi, I just am gonna be really busy for a couple weeks, and I don’t want you to think it’s because I’m avoiding you guys.”

“I never think that’s the case. I hate how you overwork yourself, but it is what it is. We’ve argued enough for one night,” she stretched wildly before flicking my temple, “Go get some sleep; lord knows you need it.”

“That, I do.” I ruffled her hair wildly to make her laugh, “If you ever sass me again, you’re walking home, brat!”

“Teach me how to drive so I don’t have to bum rides off you then!”

“Why, so you can take out half of Connecticut trying to get to McDonald’s?” We erupted in playful laughter, something we both needed desperately, before I stood and rolled my eyes. “Don’t be hammering in here all night; if you wake me up, I’m burning your lipsticks.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever Ugly…” she winked lovingly, “Make sure you shut your door, cause I hate how much you snore!”