What If… Harry Potter

Meta-knowledge is a powerful weapon if used properly. I thought as I woke up in the small and underfed five year old body of my favorite fictional character, Harry Potter. I was too small to reach the telephone that hung on the wall and too weak to drag over a chair to climb on, which meant I was stuck here until I could change that.

Figuring out how was also a problem, since five year old children did not have many options. I thought about reporting the Dursleys at school, only I knew for a fact that they would lie and explain everything away as a delusion by a child and would make me out to be a delinquent. It would set Harry on a long and lonely journey until Hogwarts and the Dursleys had no influence there.

The only thing I could do while staying there was the best thing in the world for Harry. I played dumb. Not a normal dumb, either. Nope, I was only a little more intelligent than a rock.

Whenever Petunia tried to teach me to do a chore or teach me how to cook food, I would just stare in confusion at her, the pan, the utensil she handed me, or the mop or rag she wanted me to use. When she yelled at me, I would keep the confused look and hold whatever it was up and ask what it was, even if she had told me what it was a hundred times.

When she smacked me good for defying her, I would do the smart thing and took a dive like a paid off prize fighter. After I did that a few times and pretended to be knocked out, then acted even dumber afterwards when I woke up, she eventually left me alone.

Vernon had been a bit harder to convince, since he relied on his anger to work himself up to punish me. He eventually left me alone as well after he 'knocked me out' a couple of times and I started to stand in a random corner and stared at the wall for absolutely no reason.

Pretending to be stupid also made Dudley leave me alone, because he could never get any kind of reaction out of me, even when he stole my food at the table or when he hit or kicked me. Since I was boring, he ignored me, and that was perfect for me.

School was a hilarious chore of complete boredom, since I was quite a bit older and smarter than all of the students and a few of the teachers combined. I didn't have to pretend to keep an uninterested look on my face all day and everyone left me alone.

I also knew how to game the school system and answered every second question on every test, which gave me an exact 50% pass rate. It didn't matter what the test was, I would do the same thing. Since there were more red marks on my tests than everyone else in the school, not one single person questioned it, not even the Dursleys, because Dudley was getting higher marks than I was.

The best part about being left alone? I was left alone. I could do whatever I wanted as long as I made sure to never be caught. I tested the limits of my ability to wander unaided and uncaught, which eventually led to my first long excursion the next summer.

I eventually ended up in the only subdivision with a bus station and hopped on one without anyone noticing. I rode it to a train station and hopped onto a train without paying or having a ticket. As long as I stuck close to a single woman or a family and looked like I belonged there, no one noticed me.

Let me tell you, it was a long train ride to head from Surrey to Crawley. Thanks to my years of practice pretending to be a moron, I easily entertained myself and no one paid me any attention. I hopped off and pretended that I was wandering, when I was really going to a specific address. Since it was the weekend, I knew a particular family would be home.

The Granger home was fairly nice and I ignored the front door and went around to the back yard. I knew they had patio doors and didn't do anything like staring inside or anything. I went to the set of lawn furniture and sat down like I had during the long train ride. Since I was right there in plain sight of the patio doors, it didn't take long before someone noticed me.

To my delight, it was the resident bookworm that opened the patio door and she was even cuter as a little girl than she would be as a preteen. Her beauty wouldn't sprout until she was into her teens and she would turn a few boys heads, much to her ignorance.

“Who are you?” Hermione asked, her eloquence showing, even at such a young age.

“Your future boyfriend.” I responded.

Hermione's face scrunched up. “Boys are icky.”

“I know.” I said and she looked surprised.

“What's your name?” Hermione asked instead of asking why I was her future boyfriend or trying to deny it, which was interesting.

“My name's Harry.” I said and smiled. “It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“My name's Hermione.” Hermione said and her eyes almost lit up. “Are you smart like me?”

“Yes.” I said and she let out a little squeal. “I pretend to be dumb, though.”

“Wh-what? Wh-why?” Hermione asked, shocked.

“People would make fun of me, otherwise.” I responded and Hermione's face went sad. “I see. You already suffer for it.”

Hermione nodded and dropped her head to look at her hands.

“Then do what I do. Only answer every second question on your tests.” I said and her head jerked and she stared at me like I had slapped her. “I know and you know that you can answer them easily.” I said in a placating tone and she nodded. “That doesn't mean you need for everyone else to know how smart you are.”

“But... but, I...”

“You can't earn any friends like that. Believe me.” I said and she looked like she did. “You don't have to act dumb like me, though. I do it so my family will leave me alone and they stopped abusing me.”

Hermione gave me a searching look. “What if I leave every third question blank?”

I had to smile at her negotiating at six years old. “Your score will be in the 66% range, so that's fine.”

Hermione smiled at me. “Then I'll do that.”

I smiled back. “That's very smart of you.”

Hermione beamed a smile at me that wasn't ruined by her large front teeth. “How did you get here?”

“I took a bus and a train and wandered around. You had a nice house and a backyard.” I said and she gave me a single raised eyebrow. “I live in Surrey.”

Hermione's eyes widened. “Do you know how far away that is?”

“My sore butt sure does.” I said with a grin and she giggled.

“Hermione?” A woman's voice asked. “Are you having trouble finding the juice?”

“That's my mum.” Hermione said and turned to look at the opened patio door. “I'm out here!”

A very pretty woman walked over to the opening and she wore an airy top and a pair of shorts that showed off a lot of toned leg. I had a very difficult time not letting my eyes rake over her quite sexy body and concentrated on her face. She looked a little startled to see me and I wondered if I hadn't been as discreet at looking at her as I thought I had been.

“Hermione, who's your friend?” The woman asked.

“This is Harry and he's from Surrey.” Hermione said and her mother's eyes widened almost comically.

“H-how did you get here?” The woman asked, almost afraid of the answer.

“Train, mostly.” I said and Hermione nodded.

The woman recovered from her shock and schooled her face. “How do you know my daughter?”

“Magnetic forces between similar intellects. I had to come here and meet her as soon as I could.” I said and Hermione looked happy.

“That... I'm not sure what to say to that.” Her mother said. “You're only... what? Four?”

“Undernourished six, actually.” I corrected and both she and Hermione sucked in breaths. “It's all right. I sneak food whenever my cousin steals my meals.”

Hermione almost cried and lunged to hug me. Apparently, she had always had that tendency.

Her mother's face went from friendly to stern. “I think I need to have a little chat with your parents.”

I patted Hermione's back and held her. “My parents are dead. I live with my aunt and her husband.”

The stern look on her face changed to sadness. “I'm sorry, Harry.”

“So am I.” I said and pet Hermione's head. “I really like your hair.”

Hermione almost sobbed and hugged me tighter.

Was I using my knowledge to manipulate her? Yes, I was. Would I let that stop me? Hell no. I wanted to make this the best life for myself and getting Hermione onboard as soon as possible was going to help me do exactly that. I had been tempted to go for someone like Tonks or Fleur instead, except there was no real way for me to manipulate things with either of them until later.

Since any other girl in Harry's year would only be actual children mentally, Hermione was my best bet to not be completely alone until Hogwarts started. Her intelligence was unmatched for her age and she was more mature than everyone else around her, the old Harry included. The less said about Ron, the better.

“How long will you be staying to visit?” Hermione's mother asked.

“I really should be back in Little Whinging by nightfall, assuming I can sneak onto the train again.” I said and she looked surprised. I had to smile at that. “I do have a pile of gold hidden somewhere for expenses and I can't access it right now.”

Hermione giggled and her mother softly laughed.

“I suppose we could go for a little drive this evening.” Her mother said.

“I couldn't ask you to do that. I'm already imposing on your hospitality as it is.” I half-complained.

She looked a bit surprised again and then smiled. “Then you're lucky I offered before you had to ask.”

I chuckled and nodded. “Touche, madam. Touche.”

“You might as well come on in if you're staying here for the rest of the day.” She said and waved me inside. “You can bring your barnacle with you.”

Hermione giggled and didn't let me go as I stood. I suspected she did that just to make her mother laugh, so I played along. We were of similar height, so it wasn't awkward as I held onto her and we walked into the house cuddling the whole way. Her mother laughed and shut the patio door behind us.

I spent a fairly enjoyable day at the Granger's and both Hermione and her mother were quite pleased that I really was as smart as them and kept up with the conversation. When Hermione's father came home from work, he barely mentioned me being there and accepted I was Hermione's friend as if I always had been. It was quite refreshing, actually.

The long car ride to Privet Drive was relaxing and I promised them that as soon as I could get to my gold, I would reward them for being so nice to me. It made the parents laugh and Hermione gave me a pointed look as if asking if I was joking.

I leaned close and put my arm around her shoulders to whisper in her ear. “As my future girlfriend, I will be spending a lot of it on books to make you happy.”

Hermione cuddled into me and put her mouth by my ear. “You really do have a pile of gold.”

“As far as I know, it should be there. If not, I'll unleash hell upon whomever dared to disappoint you.” I promised.

Hermione blushed and looked happy. Her lips touched my cheek briefly. “Boys are still icky.”

“I know.” I said and kissed her cheek back.

The car eventually parked at the end of my relative's driveway and I thanked the Grangers for taking the time to make sure I arrived safely. Their response that they would do a lot more than that if they could, made me like them that much more. They really were much better parent figures than my own guardians.

“Perhaps we can search at the end of the rainbow for your pot of gold after we come back from vacation?” Hermione's mother asked me.

“Perhaps I could pay you to adopt me and get me out of my abusive home.” I suggested and the two adults looked shocked and Hermione looked really happy.

“Can we do that, Mum? Can we? Can we have Harry stay with us? Can we do that as soon as we get back?” Hermione asked in a rush and with a single breath.

“Hermione...” Her father said and sighed at the pleading look on her face.

“I apologize for making the suggestion this soon. I should have waited until tomorrow.” I joked and Hermione giggled.

“You really want to get out of there, don't you?” Her mother asked me.

“I would have left already if I could reach the telephone to call for help.” I told them and they looked sad. “Don't worry. I have hope now. If there are people like you in the world to take care of Hermione, then I'm sure I'll find someone myself and will escape eventually.”

They didn't say anything and I wished them a good time on their trip and that I would visit them again after they returned. I closed the car's door and watched as they drove away. Hermione waved to me and I waved back.

“BOY!” Vernon yelled and I slowly turned around. The idiot had just gained the attention of half the neighbors on the street. “Where the hell have you been all bloody day?”

“Huh?” I asked, playing dumb.

“Who was driving that fancy car?” Petunia asked instead of repeating her husband.

“I dunno.” I said and shrugged. I didn't ask for Mr. Granger's name specifically so I wouldn't have to lie about it.

“They just dropped you off and didn't tell you their names?” Vernon asked, incredulous.

I shrugged again.

“Where did you go?” Petunia asked.

“A walk.” I said and looked off to the side at the garage. “Long one.”

Petunia sighed. “Get inside the house. We'll talk about this later.”

I didn't say anything and walked by them and went to my cupboard. I did this on purpose, so that the neighbors would see me enter it and I shut it behind me. The thing was, I've done this intentionally a bunch of times and not one single person, child or adult, said anything about it.

Either some magic was being liberally used to stop that or no one wanted to get involved with a scandal. I just hoped the Grangers were better people, especially after my verbal prodding.

*

Hermione was almost in a frantic state for the entire two weeks of the vacation. She had only slightly relaxed when they visited the gigantic library in Paris and then was right back on the edge when they left. The books she had been gifted with were only a small balm to her wounded spirit.

Her parents had hotly debated the situation and they were more than a little reluctant to give in to their little girl's demands to rescue her one and only friend from an abusive household. They had only spent a single day with the boy and his resemblance to Hermione's personality was startling, especially since he could keep up with the girl's constant prattle about anything that interested her.

That fact alone was enough for them to want the boy around as much as possible, because they had a hard time keeping up with her. Adopting him was quite the step to take, just for their sole child to have a friend. Then again, what were the odds that they were going to find anyone else that could do for her what Harry could?

By the time they arrived back home and unpacked, they had made their decision. They would quietly investigate and then file appropriate papers to gain custody of the boy. His ruse about being stupid would help them immensely, especially when they offered extensive tutoring to help the boy bring up his grades and to put him into a better school to share classes with their daughter.

They were not surprised that Harry showed up on Saturday morning and he spent the day with them. Each weekend after that, Harry kept showing up and Hermione's parents would pretty much grill him for information as he spent time with Hermione doing whatever she wanted, which was usually wallowing in a thick book to learn as much as she could about everything.

Harry's relatives eventually stopped asking how he managed to have the same car drop him off every weekend, because Harry always played dumb and never explained where he was or what he had been doing. He always quietly laughed at their disinterested faces when he saw them, too.

By the middle of August, barely a month after their trip, the Grangers filed the papers on Friday at 4:55pm to let it be the last thing processed. A notice would be sent to the Dursleys on the following Monday that the boy they never officially adopted themselves, was now a part of the Granger family instead.

The next day on Saturday, Harry showed up like usual and he was given a copy of the filed papers. Real tears came to his eyes as he held them and looked at both Hermione and her mother. His joke about escaping from the Dursleys when he could, had been accepted as a desperate plea for help and they had helped him.

“Th-thank you. Thank you so much.” Harry said and put the papers down and he hugged Hermione's mother as tightly as his thin arms could. “I never thought... it was just a flight of fancy. I thought I would be stuck there for years and...”

“Shhh.” Mrs. Granger said and pet his hair. “You're a good boy, Harry. You have done more for our little girl's happiness in the short time you've known her than anyone else in her life, and that includes us, her parents.”

Harry lifted his head from her belly and looked up into her eyes. “Her happiness is my happiness. I know if she's happy, then I'll be happy, too.”

Mrs. Granger smiled warmly. “You're already talking like a good husband.”

“MUM!” Hermione yelled and blushed. “Boys are icky!”

“I know.” Her mother said with a laugh and let Harry go. “Take your permanent live-in friend to the den and relax with your new book.” She said and ran her fingers through Hermione's bushy hair. “We've already changed the guest room to Harry's room and we'll go shopping for clothes and things after lunch.”

“Okay, mum!” Hermione said and took Harry's hand. “My new book is about chemical reactions and what happens when...”

Mrs. Granger watched Harry's face as her daughter pretty much talked his ear off and she didn't see any negative reaction, which still surprised her. Hermione could be grating on the nerves sometimes and Harry had never once asked her to stop or made her slow down when she was on a roll. He was almost too good to be true and that had also been the subject of an argument between her and her husband.

Mrs. Granger argued that Harry was smart and he was manipulating her daughter and Mr. Granger argued that it didn't matter, because Hermione was happy and probably knew that Harry was doing everything to make her happy. The argument ended in a draw and they agreed to keep an eye on the boy to make sure he wasn't doing anything to turn their daughter against them.

*

I could almost feel Mrs. Granger's intense scrutiny after giving me the wonderful gift of freedom. I knew she was worried that I was using Hermione for my own ends and I was tempted to tell her that I was, since it was true. I wanted a happy life and Hermione was my best bet and I would do everything that I could to ensure it came true.

I also knew that Hermione loved her parents a lot, mainly because she had erased herself from their memories to save them from being killed in the blood war that Voldemort would start in ten years. I would make sure that future never came to be, though. My meta-knowledge was going to change so many things.

First up, this shopping trip. I wouldn't mention doing shopping on Charring Cross Road; but, if we happened to be near there, I would either excuse myself to go to the bathroom or intentionally stumble into the Leaky Cauldron while holding Mrs. Granger's hand. There would be no better way to introduce her to the magical world than doing it by accident.

*

It was hilarious!

The looks on both Mrs. Granger's and Hermione's faces was worth the deception. I could almost see their minds expanding and changing with the addition of magic into their perception. After introducing himself to a stunned Mrs. Granger, Tom the Barman told me I was famous and then led the three of us through the dingy pub to the back and opened the wall for us.

The books and movies didn't do the reality of Diagon Alley justice. It wasn't necessarily the things it showed, it was the lack of visible magic that was there. The broom in the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies wasn't mounted, it floated there. The cauldron in the cauldron shop used a self-stirring stirring rod and the books in the window of Flourish and Blotts had self-turning pages.

Like I said, actual magic was being shown off and it was completely overlooked and not described. In my case, it didn't really bother me, mainly because my own imagination had added in a bunch of things that should have been there. The main protagonist just didn't have the mental fortitude to realize what he was looking at and his point of view was highly skewed because of how he grew up.

I had already changed that, years before I thought I would be able to, and now I was going to change things even more because of who I was. Harry Potter.

“What's that big white slanted building?” I asked and pointed with my free hand. I felt Mrs. Granger's death grip on my other hand lessen slightly.

“It kind of looks like a bank.” Mrs. Granger said.

“Oh! That means we can change some money into those galleon things!” Hermione said, happily.

Both her mother and I snorted and barked a laugh. We looked at each other and grinned as we spoke at the same time. “Books!”

Hermione didn't even glare at us like usual. “What else would we buy?”

That made us laugh again and we went to the bank and entered. Mrs. Granger looked nervous when she saw the creatures behind the high counters and I gave her hand a squeeze. She looked down at me and I smiled at her. She relaxed and nodded. We stood in line for almost twenty minutes before it was our turn.

“What is your business here?” The goblin said in a flat and uninterested voice.

“Hi, there!” I said and waved. “I'm Harry Potter.”

The entire bank seemed to come to a stop and everyone turned to look at me, especially the wizards.

“I've never been here before and I wondered if my family's gold is safe.” I said.

The goblin leaned over the counter to peer down at me. “Does Mister Potter have his key?”

“No, I've never had a key.” Harry said.

“Then you need to talk to your magical guardian to get it.”

“Why would a man in prison have my key?” I asked, pretending confusion.

Shocked sounds came from all around us, just as I planned.

“Who is your magical guardian?” The goblin asked, his eyes squinted.

“Sirius Black. He's my godfather and was best friends with my dead father, James Potter.” I said and a soft scream came from a woman in the next line.

The goblin looked surprised for a moment. “How do we know you are who you say you are?”

I smiled and lifted the fringe of my hair and showed off the famous lightning bolt scar. It had been very slowly healing over the last year after I woke up as Harry, which meant the horcrux went to the afterlife when little Harry died. It was the only explanation as to why I didn't have any of his memories when I woke up. Losing potential access to Voldemort's memories sucked, too.

“Do you know how many people that come here every year and claim to be Harry Potter?” The goblin asked.

I was pretty sure he was just going through the motions now. “At least a dozen. My parents weren't slouches and I'm sure that thieves would love to steal all that gold.”

The goblin huffed and smiled before he caught himself and his face went blank.

“I'd like the other key cancelled and a new one made, if that's possible. If not, is there a reclamation service or something? I've never accessed my family's gold before, so anything that's happened with it since I was born wasn't authorized.”

The goblin's bushy eyebrows rose. “Are you accusing the key holder of theft?”

I gave Mrs. Granger a glance and saw she knew what I was going to say next, so she smiled and nodded. “I've never received any letters or account details from the bank and it's been six years since my birth. Whomever stole the key has also stolen all of my mail.”

The goblin looked very surprised, as did the people in the lines around us.

“You don't get any mail? At all?” A man in another line asked.

“Not even birthday cards on July thirty-first.” I said and both Hermione and Mrs. Granger gasped.

“H-Harry, why... why didn't you tell us?” Mrs. Granger asked.

“About what?” I asked.

“Your birthday.” She responded.

“My muggle relatives never allowed me to celebrate my birthday.” I said with a shrug. “I kinda forgot that it meant anything besides surviving another year with them.”

Mrs. Granger let out a sob and I was suddenly scooped up into her arms and hugged tightly. I did not mind my face getting a much closer meeting with her nice breasts. It was just too bad we were in public and I couldn't take advantage of it.

Maybe later I could remind her about this... no, Harry! Don't think like that. I thought. She's a beautiful woman and... are her nipples hardening? I said no, Harry!

After a few moments that Mrs. Granger took to compose herself, she gave the top of my head several kisses and then put me down. I gave her a happy smile and she smiled back.

“We need to do a test or two before we can do anything else.” The goblin said and nodded to another goblin behind him. He stepped down and walked around the counter to lead the three of us to a small meeting room. “A drop of blood is needed for confirmation that you really are who you claim you are.”

A pin was provided and I poked a fingertip and touched the piece of parchment. It didn't glow or anything, either. It seemed to generate ink from the blood as it soaked into the parchment and then it wrote out my name and then the names of my parents. That was it.

“Now we can get to business.” The goblin said with a feral grin.

*

Holy hell, the goblins were vicious little creatures when it came to thieves. There had been regular withdrawals from my vault that were converted into British Pounds and sent to Privet Drive every month since I was a baby, illegally authorized by Albus Dumbledore.

I put an immediate stop to that and told them to recover all that stolen money, because my relatives only gave me houseroom inside the cupboard under the stairs and barely fed me. It was why I was so thin and small. Hermione hugged me this time and her mother hugged the both of us.

The goblins immediately emptied the Dursley's muggle bank account for five years of payments and it wasn't enough, so they repossessed Vernon's car. That was enough to cover the remaining money and the fine for using stolen money. They did not state what they were going to do to Dumbledore for his stealing Gringotts account statements and my fan mail.

Instead of accepting the same money deal to give to the Grangers, I had the brilliant idea to open a vault in Hermione's name and had the fifty galleons a month deposited inside instead. I prepaid for a year, just so there was enough inside for her and her family to not worry about things, and I told them that now they didn't have to worry about conversion rates or being short when buying something.

Mrs. Granger tried to refuse until I told her that we would be coming here a lot over the next few years, now that we knew about it, and she would need access to the money I would be paying her every month. The books alone could range from a few bronze knuts, to several silver sickles, to a galleon or more. The range of prices was quite weird and skewed, depending on what you wanted to buy.

We left the bank with a bag full of wizard money and we spent several hours shopping. We even bought temporary robes in Madam Malkins, just to stop some of the witches and wizards from staring and glaring at us for wearing muggle clothing. It worked. No one paid us any mind after that.

Hermione was told she could only have five books, so she pouted and growled under her breath. It was honestly too cute and I whispered that to Mrs. Granger. She gave me a wink and told me I could also get five books, as long as they were different. Hermione's squeal of delight echoed throughout the store and she hauled me around by the hand and picked out the ten books she wanted.

I didn't bother trying to protest that they were all for her and she gave me a bright and happy smile as Mrs. Granger paid for them. She had the clerk cast the featherweight charm on the bag and claimed that she had forgotten her wand at home. The man laughed and said his wife forgot hers at home all the time, too.

We left the bookstore and went right over to the apothecary and looked through the potions and ingredients available. It was quite the sight when Mrs. Granger found the personal care section with hair care products, hygiene products, monthly problems products, and headache potions. We left there with another weightless bag full of carefully packed potion bottles and a very happy woman.

We changed after we left the alley and the Leaky Cauldron behind and went home. Home. That was quite the new sensation for me after living with the Dursleys. Of course, I wasn't really related to them or to the Grangers, except on paper for the latter. That didn't matter, though. It was the feelings of acceptance that made a family, not where you lived.

Thus started my new life, in a new world, with new people and with magic. Bloody-freaking-magic.

I hadn't planned to have access to it five years early, so my plans had to change a little. Okay, they changed a lot, especially when we went back and I had Mrs. Granger buy several runes books, several more advanced potions books, and the tools and ingredients needed to make everything.

I was not going to waste the opportunity that I had been given and I was sure that the whole family would be very grateful when I perfected my potion making skills and started practising with rune crafting. It was a magic-using loophole that I was going to exploit as much as possible and I was going to bring Hermione along with me.

It would slow our muggle education down only slightly as we studied magical theory behind everything; but, it was going to be worth it to have such a huge head start in our magical education. I also knew that Occlumency was a real thing in canon, since Snape tried to teach Harry in Book 5.

I had read a lot of things in fan fictions about the supposed mind arts and their power, blah blah blah. There were no books about it to be found anywhere, which was probably why it was so rare to know about the technique to protect your thoughts. I took everything I knew about it and applied it as much as possible... and it was ridiculously easy.

It was so easy that I taught Hermione in only three days. Her eyes almost glowed as I shared all of my theories about it granting a better memory and protected her mind from intrusion, from either spells or from potions. It was the first time she kissed me on the lips and I suspected it wouldn't be the last, since I had a lot more theories to share and we had years to go before she had access to a wand.

*

*

Hermione did not get a Hogwarts letter before or on her eleventh birthday near the end of September. She did get a visit from Minerva McGonagall to explain things and I successfully hid and listened to her give them the whole speech about magic being the best thing and that learning at Hogwarts, the best magical school, was the best place for Hermione to learn everything she wanted to know.

Neither Hermione nor Jean revealed they knew anything about the wizarding world and Minerva left after convincing them to visit Diagon Alley on the next weekend and to tentatively accept the future invitation to attend school next year.

I went downstairs and Jean gave me a knowing look. “I knew that old woman wouldn't tell you the whole truth.”

Hermione nodded as I sat beside her. “I even tried to ask about anything bad happening several times and she completely avoided answering.”

Jean sighed. “I'm reluctant to let you go to that school, since we know there's going to be trouble.”

I chuckled at her wording. “I think that's going to happen no matter where I go. I'm famous, after all.”

Hermione poked my chest with a finger. “Don't you dare let that go to your head, mister!”

I laughed and hugged her before I kissed her cheek. “I think with a smart and pretty witch like you by my side, there's nothing in this world that could make me think I'm better than anyone else.”

Hermione blushed and ducked her head. “M'not pretty.”

I gave her cheek another kiss for several seconds and lifted her chin to let her see my smile. “I'm pretty sure my opinion overrides your own when it comes to something that important, Hermione.”

Hermione's blush stayed on her face. “H-Harry...”

“I'm sorry that you will never be successful in convincing me that you aren't pretty.” I said and saw Jean's pleased smile. “I would have called you cute years ago if I didn't know you would smack me for it.”

Hermione frowned slightly and glared at me. “Darn right I would. I am not cute!”

Jean softly laughed and didn't tease her with such an easy opening like I thought she would. She wrapped her arms around her daughter and me at the same time instead. Hermione lost the glare and hugged her back.

“Should we take the day off from brewing potions and start reviewing the easy spells you can cast when you get your wand next week?” I asked.

“How? We're in a muggle area. The Ministry of Magic will be all over us.” Hermione said.

“That's a loophole we can exploit. Only students attending school are under the restriction of not being allowed to cast magic when not in school. Since you won't be enrolled until next year...” I said and let my voice trail off.

Hermione's whole face lit up. “You're right! Professor McGongall's warning about not casting magic doesn't apply to me, because I'm not a student!”

“Being school age only counts for being allowed to buy a wand.” I agreed.

“We are going to have so much fun!” Hermione squealed and hugged me tightly.

“As long as you let me borrow it occasionally.” I said and she nodded. “By occasionally, I mean every second you're not holding it.”

Jean laughed and Hermione giggled.

*

Using some of my foreknowledge of wandlore from both canon and fan-fiction, I waited a month as I helped Hermione cast spells with her wand and to get used to it, then I set up several play fights every day to 'win' the wand from Hermione, cast a spell with it, and we had another fight so she could 'win' it back from me.

After another month of doing that, and several shared and sneaky kisses while we both held the wand at the same time, we could both use it equally well and there was no resistance from it. Sharing a wand like that was a neat experience and I promised that when I bought mine next July that we should do the same thing and share it as well.

Let me tell you, it was a weird and quite freeing experience to perform magic. We could change the physical world as we saw fit and we had a great time showing off for Jean. There wasn't anything spectacular we could do right away, because we needed time and practice to work our way up to some of the bigger spells.

Then again, we had almost a whole year to do everything we could to make ourselves better and I wasn't going to let the opportunity pass by without abusing the heck out of it. I had thought about sending a letter to the Ministry of Magic about being allowed to cast magic after becoming a student and changed my mind.

As far as I knew, no student was allowed to perform magic outside of school, even if they lived in a magical household. The Ministry left it up to the parents to police their children. If they let their kids run wild with a wand, it wasn't the Ministry's fault if they were hurt. All that was required was for the muggles to not find out about magic.

Jean indulged us a lot during that year. More than half of the rooms in the house were filled with research papers, magic and muggle books, half-finished projects, potions ingredients, and racks and racks of potions. The only rooms that didn't have anything in them were the kitchen, living room, pantry, and the master bedroom. Even the bathrooms had racks of potions in them and books to read.

Hermione's father had just laughed at it all and read the New Yorker as he looked over the stocks he had bought with his winnings. He was very happy with the results and that pretty much kept him out of our hair, which Jean was grateful for. She never mentioned what happened between us and I never approached her again. We still gave each other that same loving smile, for reassurance.

As long as we did the best for our family, our love would stay secret and keep us going.

*

I received my Hogwarts acceptance letter two weeks before my birthday that was also the cut-off date for replying. It did not contain the same things that Hermione's letter did. Hers had directions to get to Diagon Alley, how to find and use an owl to deliver her response, and a form to submit for a home visit or for her train ticket and how to get onto the train platform. Mine was just the letter and the list of supplies, nothing else.

“Either they didn't look at the address or they expected you to already know everything.” Jean said as she read my simple letter and compared it to the several sheets that Hermione had.

I scoffed. “Dumbledore knows I can't reply and will keep sending letters until my birthday and then someone will show up to drag me to Diagon Alley the next day.”

Hermione frowned. “That's stupid. If they did that, then you would miss the cut-off date to reply.”

I blinked my eyes at her and realized she was right. It meant that Harry Potter was never legally enrolled in Hogwarts in canon. It also meant that all of Dumbledore's cover-ups were done because Harry wasn't actually a student there.

“Harry? What is it?” Jean asked me and her arm went around my shoulders.

“I just realized how lucky I am to be rescued by you.” I said and my voice was full of thankfulness.

“Aww.” Hermione and Jean said at the same time and they both hugged me.

“We need to get to Diagon Alley as soon as possible and I need a foolproof disguise to stop everyone from recognizing me.” I said and pulled out a folded baseball cap from my back pocket. I had been saving it for a special occasion and put it on. “There! I'm completely safe!”

Jean and Hermione looked shocked for a second, then they both burst out laughing.

“How long... have you been... saving that joke for?” Jean asked me between laughs and wiped tears of laughter from her eyes.

“Ever since I heard about wizards!” I said with a grin and she kept laughing.

*

My disguise really was foolproof. Not one single person recognized me. We also wore wizard robes and no one knew that Jean was a muggle or that Hermione was muggleborn. Our school shopping passed without incident and we compared the new books to the ones Jean had bought years ago. They were nearly identical, so we only bought one set to share.

Surprisingly, I still matched well with the Holly and Phoenix Feather wand, even though I didn't have the horcrux or the scar anymore. A bit of laser surgery had taken care of the white line that would have been left behind and my eyesight had been corrected right after I started living with the Grangers, which was long before Harry had to suffer through years of wearing the wrong prescription.

I used my wand exclusively for two weeks to get used to it, then Hermione and I did the play fight technique and exchanged wands. The funny thing was, Hermione was better with charms with her wand and better with transfiguration with mine, while for me it was just the opposite. Maybe we had been too thorough with the wand training? Eh, whatever. It worked and that's all that mattered.

*

Jean looked really sad when we approached the entrance to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. Before she could say anything, I crooked my finger at her to make her bend down. She did so without asking me what I wanted and I gave her a firm kiss right on the lips, to her shock. Hermione giggled.

“This isn't goodbye. We will write every week and we'll have tea at the same time every Sunday morning, just like always.” I told her and she nodded. “We'll be home for Christmas and you can spoil us as much as you want.”

Jean nodded and turned her head to look at Hermione, only to get a kiss planted on her cheek.

“We love you and we miss you already.” Hermione said and took my hand. “Kiss daddy for me.”

Jean nodded again and watched us push the cart with the two trunks on it through the barrier.

“Her evenings and weekends are going to be so empty without us there.” Hermione said.

“Yes, they will be.” I said and we moved the cart over to the closest train car. “Thank you for letting me kiss her like that to distract her.”

Hermione giggled. “Did you see the look on her face? I thought she was going to faint.”

I chuckled. “To be fair, she did get kissed by two smart kids in the middle of a public place.”

Hermione let my hand go to take one side of the top trunk. “Do you think she'll tell daddy?”

“It depends on if she wants to make him laugh or make him jealous.” I said and Hermione laughed. “Jealous, right? She'll make him jealous.”

Hermione kept laughing and helped me with the second trunk.

I brought the empty cart back to near the barrier and left it there and went back to the train car. “Ladies choice on where to sit.”

“I'll tell you when we find a compartment.” Hermione said and led me down the hallway and entered an empty one. We left our trunks on the floor and Hermione pointed to the corner beside the wall, so I sat beside the spot. She shook her head and motioned for me to move into the corner, then the little minx sat on my lap.

I stared at her with raised eyebrows and she ignored me and took out a book from her pocket. She used her wand to cancel the shrinking charm on it and leaned back against the wall and started to read. I was a bit too surprised by her antics to object or to ask her to move.

After about thirty seconds, I let out a huff and put my arms around her waist to hold her steady and braced her book for her. I did not miss the very smug smile on her face, either.

We had arrived early, so we had a lot of time to wait for the train to depart. Hermione read and I absently let my thoughts wander. A few little events were supposed to happen and I wasn't sure if I wanted to let them occur normally or if I should interfere.

If things played out a certain way, then I would be setting up a rivalry that would last throughout my school years. Did I want things to stay that way? My thoughts paused as I had a really funny idea and I kept it off my face. I didn't want to give anything away.

Ron Weasley and family showed up at the very last second and barely made it onto the train. The less than intelligent boy passed by our compartment twice before he decided to try and look inside. He was obviously looking for someone and I knew who. Harry Potter.

I pulled out my flawless disguise and Hermione gave me a searching look as I put the baseball cap on. “Fanboy incoming.” I whispered and she nodded.

The compartment door opened and Ron stepped inside. “Do you mind? Everywhere else is full.” He lied and sat down without being asked or waiting for a response. His eyes glanced over Hermione and went to my face. His nose scrunched up when he saw the baseball cap and he didn't say anything as he kept looking at me for almost a full minute.

Hermione huffed loudly and Ron jerked as if slapped, because he had been staring at me. “Stop making eyes at my boyfriend.”

“Huh?” Ron responded.

“I know he's handsome and all; but, he's been mine for years. You can't have him.” Hermione clarified.

“Huh?” Ron repeated and his staring gaze went to her instead.

“Are wizards not as intolerant as muggles about boys liking boys? Is that why you're having so much trouble keeping your attention away from my boyfriend?” Hermione asked.

“Wh-what?” Ron asked, his eyes wide.

“If you don't stop undressing him with your eyes, I will have to ask you to leave.” Hermione said instead of continuing to insult the redheaded boy's intelligence, probably because it was too easy. “Only I am allowed to strip him down to admire his naked chest wearing only underwear.”

Ron made an odd sound and fainted.

I couldn't stop my laugh and Hermione looked very smug. I had to move her off of my lap briefly and she gave me a stern look. “I need to take care of the rat that clearly breaks the rules for pets.”

“Oh, all right.” Hermione said and waved at Ron's shirt pocket. “I want my seat back as soon as possible.”

“As my lady commands.” I said and ducked my head to make her smile, then I took out my wand and stunned Ron, then stunned whatever was in his pocket. I knew who it was, since I had been debating going after the stupid rat for years, the same as the horcruxes scattered across Britain. The thing was, I wasn't 100% positive that what I knew and what was going on would be the same.

I had changed a lot during the last six years of my new life and no one had come for me or after me. If the wards supposedly protecting me at Privet Drive had actually existed, they would have broken as soon as I called the Granger residence home the first time. So, whatever Dumbedore had done there to protect the Dursleys had nothing to do with what he said in canon.

The old man had claimed that Harry would always be protected from those that meant him harm, as long as Petunia provided him houseroom, even reluctantly and with how she treated him. It was such a lie, because the Dursleys were obviously not affected by that restriction. They had pretty much crushed Harry's personality into a mouse-like state that only changed when he was in extreme danger.

I was not that Harry Potter.

I tried to not grin as I pulled the stunned rat out of the redheaded boy's pocket. I opened my trunk and took out the very small container meant for carrying a mouse from the pet store. The fat rat barely fit, which was exactly what I wanted, and I was tempted to wrap it in cloth to hide it. I couldn't, because that would block the air holes.

I had no idea what would happen if the thing died. Would Pettigrew revert back to human form, no matter where he was? Would the animagus wizard die and stay that way and become a rat for real? Those were questions I didn't want answered right now, so I had to wait and could ask Minerva for a reversal spell or have Hermione look one up in the school's library.

The rat went into my trunk and I closed it and set the locking charm, then resumed my seat as Hermione's seat. She was being a bit demanding today and I was honestly surprised and happy about it. She normally didn't command my time like that and it was a side of her that I secretly wanted to encourage. I shivered when I imagined the fun we could have when she was older.

Hermione must have seen it on my face when she sat down on my lap again, because she blushed and leaned in to give me a brief kiss on the lips. I whispered a thank you and she looked inordinately pleased as she resumed reading her book. Pretty bookworms were the best.

After about an hour, the compartment door opened and slammed into the sliding slot. This woke up the stunned Ron, whom yelled in fright, and Hermione hopped off of my lap to glare at the three intruders.

“Word on the train is that Harry Potter is in this compartment.” The blond idiot said, arrogantly.

Hermione beat me in answering, because she figured out what had happened. “You've said that in every compartment you've entered, haven't you?”

The boy looked surprised for a moment and then he scoffed at her clothes. “I wasn't talking to you, mudblood.”

Ron gasped, which was odd to hear from a boy, and Hermione's face changed from annoyed to anger.

I stood up in front of her and gained his attention. I dramatically whipped off my baseball cap and grinned at him before I spoke the words that would shock and confuse everyone in the compartment.

“Vincent! Gregory! It's so nice to finally meet you!” I said and shoved Draco out of the way and onto Ron, making both boys shout with surprise and fall into a heap of tangled limbs together.

“Huh?” Both boys said at the same time.

I took one of their hands and shook it vigorously and then did the same to the other. “Oh, come now! Don't be modest! Everyone knows who the Crabbes and the Goyles are! I recognized you both right away!”

Everyone stared at me like I was crazy.

“I would ask you both for your autographs if I had remembered some parchment and had a quill ready.” I said and put a hand on both of their shoulders. “I can't believe such important people like yourselves are being so nice to hang around and look after your much dumber and weaker friend. I'm so proud of you!”

Both boys had their faces turn red from embarrassment.

“Ha ha! Don't be embarrassed for doing good deeds. You two are doing great work keeping him out of trouble. I bet your knuckles are already sore just from taking care of things for him since this morning.”

“Y-yeah.” Vincent said and showed off the slightly red knuckles on his fists.

I beamed a smile at him and gave their shoulders a squeeze before I let them go. “Well, don't let me interfere with your jobs anymore. Go ahead and bring him back to your compartment and keep him safe.” I said and took out two galleons and held them one out to each of them. “Make sure you get something from the trolley for your troubles, okay? It's on me.”

Both boys snatched the gold from my hands and pretty much dragged Draco kicking and screaming from the compartment. I held in my laugh until I slid the compartment door shut and then let it out.

“HAHAHAHA!” I bellowed and held my sides. “Did you see... their faces?”

Ron sat there and looked stunned while Hermione stared at me with a calculating look.

“I only came up with that idea a little while ago.” I said to Hermione. “It was the best way to both acknowledge and ignore Malfoy and his taunts.”

Hermione lost the calculating look and nodded. I sat back down and patted my lap for her, which made her smile and she resumed her seat and opened her book once more. I wrapped my arms around her waist and she let out a soft and contented sigh.

Surprisingly, nothing else happened after that. I had expected Neville to somehow show up, even if Hermione wasn't helping him search for his toad, Trevor. That little detail might have changed a lot because of my interactions with Hermione. Would the shy Neville bother going to look for him if she didn't help him? Would Trevor still show up later?

I mentally shrugged that train of thought off and settled in to stare at Hermione's profile and tried to not give away that I was staring at her, just so she wouldn't think I was being creepy. I think I failed at that, because she would occasionally give me a side-eyed glance and kept catching me staring. She didn't turn her head to look at me or said anything about it, though.

It wasn't until it was time to change into our robes that Hermione made me pause and briefly stopped me from leaving the compartment with Ron. She softly whispered that propriety was the only reason she was making me leave. If Ron hadn't been there, I could have stayed and changed with her.

I mean, that wasn't really something I needed to know. It wasn't like a preteen body was going to get me excited or get her excited; but, it was the implication that this could have been the first time it would have happened. That made me spit and sputter and made her giggle as she pushed me out and slammed the door shut.

I stood in the hallway and thought about the situation. I already hated the redheaded ignorant idiot and it easily changed to him being utterly despised. I wanted nothing to do with the fool that delayed Hermione accepting me completely and my hateful glare at Ron didn't get any reaction from him. It wasn't that he was ignoring me, it was that he didn't care if I glared at him or not.

The door opened and Hermione stepped out and I stepped back in. When Ron tried to enter as well, I put a hand up and very loudly reminded him that his trunk was in his own compartment and he absolutely had to leave. Ron just shrugged and walked away.

I knew I should have kicked him in the balls as soon as we met. I thought, angrily.

Hermione giggled at the look on my face and pushed me inside the compartment and closed the door.

*

The boat ride was meh. I had seen the castle dozens of times, since it was one of my favorite movies, and I had read the book twice as many times. My own imagination was much more vibrant than the reality and a well lit castle really didn't do a whole lot for me.

There should have been fireworks or sky writing or something. It was magic, for heaven's sake. Show off to welcome your savior, you stupid wizards!

A small hand slapped the back of my head and I turned to look at Hermione.

“You're letting it go to your head.” Hermione said.

“How do you know that?” I asked and rubbed the sore spot.

“I know that look.” Hermione said with a smile.

I had to chuckle at that and she leaned against me. The boat ride ended not long after that and Hagrid led us up more stairs than should exist at a school for children.

Goddamn, that was a lot of stairs. I thought and I was surprised none of us were winded or tired.

Minerva McGonagall was a mix of the movie and book descriptions, so she only had grey streaks in her hair and wasn't a much older woman. She gave us a little speech and brought us inside instead of bringing us inside the castle first, which was a bit odd. Was it a rite of passage to enter?

We were led into the Great Hall and the ceiling was neat. I wanted to know how it made the floating clouds and whispered that to Hermione, which made her go quiet as she thought about it.

The sorting hat sang a song and I honestly didn't remember if it was the same or not. It honestly didn't matter, so I didn't pay attention. I wasn't an idiot, however. I did not look over the teachers to see if I recognized anyone. I wasn't going to give myself away this quickly.

My Occlumency was as strong as it always was, thanks to years of work and meditation. I also wasn't stupid enough to intentionally look into the eyes or near the people I knew for a fact that regularly read the minds of children to suss-out their secrets. I was not going to look into Snape's, Quirrell's, or Dumbledore's eyes.

The sorting happened and I recognized a lot of the names. I didn't clap or cheer as each of them were sorted into their Houses, since I had seen or read about it a hundred times. I just kept chanting 'same, same, same' in my head as each name was read. Then Hermione's name was announced.

I turned from inspecting the floating candlesticks to look at her. She gave me a knowing smirk as the had was placed on her head. I held in my laugh as I watched the hat struggle, either from not being able to read her mind or from listening to her making her argument. It didn't matter, because the hat eventually sighed and said the name of her chosen house.

“Ravenclaw!” The sorting hat exclaimed.

I clapped this time and Hermione beamed a smile at me. Her mouthed words that I had better do the same thing, made me laugh. When my name was called, I went to the stool and ignored everyone's reaction to how normal I looked. No scar or glasses wasn't that big of a change, was it?

Oh, great. Another one. The sorting hat said when it was placed on my head.

I chuckled. Hermione argued with you to not put her in Slytherin?

The sorting hat sighed. Even with your mind occluded, I can tell you should be going there, too.

Oh, I agree. The problem is, it would destroy my reputation and I would need to make an example of everyone that decided I need to be put in my place if I entered the house of Death Eaters. I responded.

The hat sighed again. It's not. Everyone just assumes...

I know. Some are good, like Greengrass and Davis. The problem is that everyone else in the house act exactly for the reasons that the house is so despised. I thought to the hat. Evil begets evil. If everyone expects them to act that way, including their parents, they have to or be ostracized.

Unfortunately. The hat said. Do you want to go to Ravenclaw as well? You need the same protection from the Griffindor versus Slytherin rivalry as Miss Granger does.

Yes, thank you. I thought, pleased.

“Better be... Ravenclaw!” The sorting hat shouted and the entire Ravenclaw table shot to their feet and cheered.

I took off the hat and handed it to a disappointed Minerva. I joined a happy Hermione at our house table and she hugged me tightly as everyone congratulated me for joining the best house.

“We are going to destroy every academic record that exists.” Hermione whispered into my ear.

“You need to stop saying such sexy things, Miss Granger.” I whispered back.

Hermione giggled and blushed as she let me go. We sat and the sorting finished a short time later. The food at the feast was heavy and just what everyone needed to calm down after all of the excitement.

I ignored the disappointed looks on all of the Griffindor faces, especially Ron's, because he had tried to argue out loud with the hat and Minerva McGonagall that he needed to be sorted into Ravenclaw so he could be with his best mate. Everyone laughed and I resisted the urge to tease him about it. Barely. Hermione saw my face and kissed my cheek for my restraint.

I ignored the announcements at the end of the meal and Hermione gave me a pointed look. I slightly shook my head at her and we followed the other first years out of the Great Hall and up to Ravenclaw tower. She reluctantly left me to go to bed, since the school rules stated that we couldn't stay up as late as we wanted. That was really going to cut into our study time.

I chose the bed closest to the door and set a mental clock to wake me up well before everyone else. A bath was needed in the morning, because the castle was cold and drafty and I would be snuggled under my thick blanket all night. I had been tempted to read and chose not to, just because I wanted to see how well I would adapt to such weird sleeping arrangements.

Why would they put children into dormitories for seven years and make them take baths together? It made no sense. They had magic, for heaven's sake. Giving each kid their own room and bathroom like he had at home at the Grangers, would have been a much better choice. Privacy would have been guaranteed, too.

Since I knew a lot about the castle, and there seemed to be even more empty and abandoned rooms than even fan fiction accounted for, I could claim one of the smaller rooms and make it my own. I had magic at my beck and call, so why wouldn't I? Plus, Hermione and I needed our own space for studying. The common room or the library were not going to cut it, not with how far ahead we were.

We would have been even further ahead if we didn't also keep up with our muggle subjects. We didn't want to fall behind in the real world, where we wanted to maintain our muggle identities, and Jean made sure we had all the current textbooks and gave us tests every month. That wasn't going to stop with us at Hogwarts.

I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face. The wizarding world had no idea what was coming.

*

“Why is it so boring?” Hermione asked me as we sat down to supper the next day. The entire day was just the teachers introducing their subjects and talking about everything they were going to cover that year.

“I warned you that they don't have an advancement program.” I said and plopped a scoop of mashed potatoes onto her plate and then my own.

“I understood that.” Hermione said and put two chicken legs on my plate and took two wings for herself. “I'm asking why they are not making the subjects exciting to learn.”

I paused adding peas to her plate. “You know what? I hadn't realized that was happening.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “You weren't even listening to the lessons, were you?”

“Not even a little bit.” I admitted and she huffed. “We have to wait until third year before they will let us take the interesting subjects.”

Hermione gave me some cranberry sauce. “I hate that Professor McGonagall refused to let us sit in on the first few classes for Arithmancy and Ancient Runes.”

“I hate that they refused to let us test into the classes to prove we know enough to be there.” I said in agreement. “Muggle Studies is laughable as well.”

Hermione put a hand over her mouth to muffle her laugh. “We could pass the NEWT if we weren't too young to register to take it.”

I nodded. “We could probably teach that class.”

Hermione caught her breath and looked at me.

“Yes, really. You saw the book. Their final field trip is leaving Diagon Alley, successfully navigating the tube, riding a bus, and hailing a taxi. We could do that when we were five years old.” I said and Hermione slapped a hand over her face. “They are considered muggle experts if they can count out the proper change to use a public telephone.”

Hermione dropped her hand and picked up a spoon. “Why did we agree to come here again?”

“Nearly unlimited free books to browse through.” I reminded her.

Hermione's face almost lit up. “That's right! We need to start searching the library for everything we've been waiting years to look for!”

I chuckled. “That's why I reminded you. We have to dig up our journals and then we have to be very quiet and kind to the librarian.”

Hermione nodded. “Do you think she'll like the book we brought for her, even if it's muggle?”

“It's worth a try, considering it's a classic. Then again, she might have been alive when it was written and might have her own copy. Maybe even a first edition.”

Hermione sucked in a sharp breath. “Do you think she would show us if she does?”

I snorted and clamped my mouth shut to stop my laugh. “We can find out tomorrow during our off period.”

“Okay!” Hermione said with a huge smile on her face.

*

Madam Pince knew she was being bribed and she didn't care. She held in her hands a copy of her great-aunt's work and their words about it being famous in the muggle world gave her a warm feeling in her heart. The woman had been disowned from the family for marrying a muggle and it was nice to know that she hadn't languished in obscurity.

Tears came to her eyes as the bushy-haired girl handed her a list of Mary Shelly's works and all of the books she had edited and rewrote for her muggle husband. Poetry and romance stories were her favorite and she would have to find some way to find more of them. The boy's offer to help really touched her heart and she promised to help them as much as she could when they needed it.

When they handed over two journals full of questions about magic and all of the implications of it, Madam Pince almost fainted. She flipped through them for nearly ten minutes and they sparked her own interest in finding out some of the answers to such great and informative questions. The three of them set out on their first foray into magical research and all three of them were happy.

*

Severus Snape was not a nice man. He was bitter and resentful and he thought he was wasting his time trying to teach potion-making to a bunch of dunderheads. It never once occurred to him to nurture them into not being dunderheads, even the first years that he had for the full morning on Friday.

What irked him was the changed schedule, however. Instead of the traditional Slytherin and Griffindor class that he had taught for nearly ten years, a class that he always enjoyed because he could put the stupid Griffindors in their place and the Slytherins would see him do so, he was stuck with the Ravenclaws.

It was the headmaster's idiotic idea to force Harry into the adversary role against Slytherin, as if Snape didn't already hate the boy enough because of his father, just to see how the boy dealt with conflict. The problem with that was Potter had sat with Vincent Crabbe after greeting him enthusiastically and the know-it-all Granger had sat with Gregory Goyle.

Snape tried to ignore the two Ravenclaws sitting on the wrong side of the classroom when he had noticed, because the Slytherins were only supposed to have a rivalry with Griffindors. He had a script to follow, however. He needed to put Potter in his place and he was going to enjoy doing so, even if the real intention was to bring more attention to the boy that everyone assumed he didn't want.

Severus did the roll-call until he reached Potter's name and sneered. “Harry Potter... our newest celebrity.” He drawled and there was only one soft bark of laughter from his godson, Draco Malfoy.

“That's me, sir.” Harry said and stood up. “Don't worry! I don't intend to distract anyone with my good looks, my intelligence, or my excellent brewing skills. Just consider me like every other student and try to not give me preferential treatment.”

There was complete silence in the room after he said that.

“I know it will be difficult to not single me out because I'm so famous. I'm sure after a short time that everyone will get used to having me around and will treat me like I'm normal.” Harry said and sat back down. He leaned over and whispered loudly to Crabbe. “That didn't sound too speechy, did it? I've been practising trying to talk like a normal person and not like a national hero. It's quite difficult.”

Everyone in the room stared at him, even Severus Snape.

“I guess I need more practice.” Harry said and sat back up straight and waited patiently.

Snape took several minutes before he realized he wasn't done calling roll-call and he finished that as he tried to come up with another way to grill the arrogant boy without doing exactly what Potter had told him not to do, namely bringing attention to him and singling him out because he was famous.

With a frustrated sneer, Snape described the potion they were going to brew and waved his hand at the chalkboard where he had previously written the recipe. He barked the order to start brewing and he sat down to watch as most of the students scrambled to gather ingredients from his stores cupboard.

The only ones to not move were Potter and Granger and they had caught their partners Crabbe and Goyle and stopped them from going as well. They actually whispered to them and they somehow produced their own ingredients and taught the two dumb boys how to properly prep the ingredients and how to follow the instructions.

Snape didn't comment about them having their things prepared long before the rest of the students had returned to their desks or that they were halfway through their brewing by the time the rest had prepped their own ingredients and started brewing as well. The bitter man grumbled curses under his breath because both Potter and Granger showed an undeniable propensity for potion-making and were quite skilled.

*

“Did you see the hate-filled looks he gave us all during class?” Hermione asked me as we walked towards the Great Hall for lunch. “I thought he was going to explode when we handed in perfect boil cure potions with Vince and Greg.”

“I might have noticed one or twenty.” I joked and she giggled.

“I wasn't sure your plan would work, considering what we've been told about him and his behavior all week.” Hermione said.

“I think Professor McGonagall switching us with the Griffindors threw him off.” I guessed and she nodded. “I bet they're angry that they no longer have the afternoon off like the other Griffindors.”

Hermione led me into the Great Hall and she sat beside me instead of across the table like usual. “I think Headmaster Dumbledore tried to have all of our classes switched and only succeeded with potions because of Professor Snape's attitude.”

I nodded in agreement. “If there's anything that the witches and wizards do, it's sticking with tradition. Dumbledore probably stepped on a lot of toes trying to change such a fundamental class and stopping the classic Lion and Snake rivalry right in front of the Slytherin's Head of House.”

Hermione dished up some food for me and I did the same for her. We had been serving each other for years, mainly because at home she had been forcing me to try new things. I was stubborn at first, because I was a simple soul, then I started enjoying her feeding me her favorite foods. The happy look on her face might have had something to do with it, too.

“Do you think we should complain about it?” Hermione asked.

“Are you kidding? Vince and Greg would be disappointed if we abandoned them.” I said and she laughed.

“I have to admit that tweaking Malfoy by treating his bodyguards so well is kind of fun.”

“Miss Granger!” I fake gasped. “Are you admitting you have a sadistic nature?”

Hermione rolled her eyes at me. “It was your idea, Harry.”

I chuckled. “I will freely admit that I have sadistic tendencies against anyone that actively tries to annoy me as much as Malfoy does.”

Hermione giggled. “Do you think he practises his lines in front of a mirror or is that pompousness all natural?”

“I heard his family owns a flock of peacocks.” I said with a grin.

“HA!” Hermione barked and then giggled for several moments before she kept eating.

I ate as well and we both kept an eye on the head table and a smartly dressed witch. As soon as Madam Pince stood, I gave Hermione the signal. We both finished up and strode from the Great Hall to wash up and head to the library. We had a lot of work to get to and Madam Pince enjoyed promptness almost as much as she enjoyed looking after the library.

*

“Are there any stand-out students this year?” Albus Dumbledore asked his staff at the weekly meeting.

Nearly all of the other professors exchanged knowing looks and none of them said anything.

“No one? Not even in the first years?” Albus prompted.

Pomona Sprout, the Herbology Professor, was the first to crack a smile. “He was right.”

“Who?” Albus asked.

“Harry Potter.” Minerva said.

“What do you mean?” Albus asked.

“He told us that you would want to know how he's been performing and that if we didn't say anything, you would be persistent.” Minerva McGonagall said. “He's quite knowledgeable.”

“He's bored in my class.” Filius Flitwick said. “Even with the extra work I've assigned, both he and Miss Granger complete everything within a day and hand it back in.”

“Excuse me?” Albus asked, surprised.

“It's true. I have the same problem.” Minerva said. “The first year material I'm teaching the rest of the class is only slowing down their progress.”

“How?” Albus asked, confused. “Harry was raised by muggles.”

“WHAT?!?” All of the teachers gasped, even Snape.

Oops. Albus thought and sat in silence for several minutes as he was bombarded by questions. He hadn't meant to let that little secret slip out, especially in front of Severus. It would destroy the man's preconceived notions and he would question the orders to make things difficult for Harry.

“You need to explain yourself, Albus!” Minerva almost spat at him. “The last time I talked to you about Mister Potter, you said he was somewhere safe and being well taken care of.”

Albus sighed, because his minor compulsion charms over the years had made the woman forget that she was there when he delivered Harry to the Dursleys. It was going to take some fancy talking to calm everyone down and to provide proof that Harry was safe from Voldemort's followers as long as he could call home where his family's blood lived.

*

Professor Quirrell didn't see the stunner that hit him in the back when he tried to enter the third floor corridor. He also didn't feel the impact of his head into the ground after a seven storey fall from the top of the astronomy tower. The small cloud of black smoke floated away from the scene of the death without knowing what had happened or who to blame.

*

I sat down at breakfast with my girlfriend on Monday morning and Hermione discreetly handed me a small wrapped bundle. I leaned over to give her a kiss to thank her for succeeding in the task I trusted her with. My whispered words that she was the best were accepted with a blush and a hug.

With the Philosopher's Stone in our possession, we were going to change everything. I had already retrieved the diadem from the Room of Requirement and would soon visit a certain secret chamber to deal with a future problem long before it would ever become a problem.

*

A grizzled old Auror was brought in to take over Quirrell's job and he soon became a favorite of everyone in the school. He impressed everyone, even the rest of the staff, and he also refused to be called professor. He hadn't earned the title or his mastery, so he was just an old retired Auror.

The funny thing about it all was the flimsy excuse Dumbledore gave about Quirrell going back on sabbatical to continue travelling the world. Hermione and I had a difficult time not laughing our asses off.

By the end of the next week, Hermione and I approached the old Auror and asked if he had any veritiserum. The man looked uncomfortable and asked why we needed it. I plopped the rat cage onto his desk and told the man that we believed the rat was an unregistered animagus and we needed his help to find out who it was and why he was pretending to be a rat.

It was like kicking a bee's nest with the flurry of activity that statement had set off. Hermione and I still had a difficult time not laughing our asses off at grown wizards freaking out over finding Peter Pettigrew, because of his dark mark, his betrayal of the Potters, and him hiding with the Weasleys for ten years.

Who would have thought that catching the rat so quickly would change things so much?

When Madam Bones, the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement showed up, I told my story and how we found the rat on the train and suspected he wasn't a real rat because of how old he was.

She didn't really believe me, so I whispered in her ear to send a trusted Auror to Barty Crouch's house to arrest an escaped death eater, the man's son. He was under an invisibility cloak and being taken care of by the house elf, Winky.

The older woman gave me an incredulous look and opened her mouth to ask me how I knew that, so I kissed her cheek and whispered that I was the savior of the wizarding world and a child of prophecy. The power Voldemort knew not was me knowing things I shouldn't.

The look of utter shock on her face was worth revealing one of my secrets. I told her it was in the Hall of Prophecy in the Department of Mysteries, near the end of row 97 under ST to AWPBD about Harry Potter. Her face changed from shock to grim determination and she nodded. She knew there was no way for me to know about either the department or the Hall of Prophecy.

Needless to say, both Barty Senior and Junior were arrested and the older one was tossed into prison while the son was kissed by a Dementor and tossed through the veil. Sirius Black was given the trial he never received ten years ago and cleared of all charges, because Peter Pettigrew was given viritaserum and confessed to everything.

Everything was coming up roses for me, the self insert of Harry Potter.

*

With the danger from Quirrell taken care of, Halloween was a normal holiday at school. There were no trolls or encounters with any other creatures. It was actually a relaxing time and both Hermione and I skipped the feast, because it was mostly candy and had no real food. We had a quiet snack in the common room and cuddled on the couch with Hermione's favorite book.

*

Christmas was a great time with the Grangers. It was my first time skiing in decades and I picked it back up like I had always been doing it. My boisterous laugh at skiing just as well as Hermione, since it was my first time ever doing it in this life, had everyone's spirits high and we all enjoyed the two weeks at the ski lodge. Cuddling by the fire at night under a blanket with Hermione and hot chocolate was the best.

When we returned to school, I ignored the brown paper wrapped present on my bed. I tucked it into my trunk and promptly forgot about it. I didn't need it to break the rules and I also didn't want to deal with any spells that might be on the thing. I remembered how both Dumbledore and Mad-Eye could still see me through it and I was sure it was spelled with something to let it be seen by magical means.

I took it to my Defense teacher and the man dispelled the tracking charms on the collar, then he warned me that whomever had done that had wanted to keep me safe and to stop me from going into the girl's dormitories or the showers.

I laughed at the implication and said I was famous. I could walk in fully clothed and none of the girls would complain about it. That made the old Auror laugh and he patted me on the back for being the bigger man and not doing that. I agreed and put on the cloak to leave his office without being seen. The old man just laughed harder.

*

The rest of the year passed by before I knew it and Hermione and I were at the top of the class for marks. We also hung around during the OWL exams under the invisibility cloak and we took a copy of each exam. Because of our extensive studying and more time spent in the library than out of it, we blew through the exams easily.

As a joke, both Hermione and I put our exams into the stacks when they were collected and we couldn't wait to see if they would call our names during the afternoon practicals. It would all depend on if they tracked the exam papers or just used the fifth year roll-call sheets for each subject.

It was almost a shock to have both Hermione and I be called to perform the spells needed. That was only possible because it was the Ministry of Magic's testing authority and not the school professors giving the exams. The looks on their faces as I performed all of the required spells and then added in the Patronus Charm for bonus points, was worth all the studying I had done.

Hermione looked frantic when she was done and I hugged and kissed her, told her she did better than I did, and led her to the Ravenclaw common room and shared the sandwiches I had pilfered during lunch. She gobbled them up as fast as I could give them to her and it calmed her down. When she wasn't panicking anymore about failing everything, I told her she was cute for acting that way and she smacked me good before she kissed me.

We went home on the train and spent the whole time going over the scrap sheets we had and Hermione eventually agreed that she had to have passed with at least the bare minimum marks. I laughed and didn't question her reasoning, because she wouldn't believe the results until we received the letters.

Jean Granger met us on the muggle side of the platform and greeted us with bone-crushing hugs and several kisses. I eagerly returned them, of course. I had missed her as much as she had missed us, because I was too used to feeling her love every day for the last five years and hadn't had it while at school. Letters just didn't compare to spending time with someone you loved.

The next two weeks at the house were tension filled as Hermione fretted over failing the first year exams, even though we knew we had passed the OWLs. When four owls showed up, two from Hogwarts and two from the Ministry, Hermione started freaking out. I had to hold her down and Jean and her husband accepted the letters on our behalf.

Jean handed us the Hogwarts letters and Hermione's breathing sped up. I put my letter down and took her hands to look into her eyes. I didn't speak and just let her see how much I cared about her. Hermione calmed down and nodded. I let her hands go and she opened her letter.

“YES! I PASSED EVERYTHING!” Hermione yelled and jumped as she waved the parchment at us.

I chuckled at her antics and opened mine. I had top marks and handed it to an amused Jean. She didn't look surprised that mine matched Hermione's and took her daughter's as well and stuck them to the refrigerator's door.

Mr. Granger handed us the Ministry letters and Hermione started breathing heavily again. I did the same thing as last time and Hermione calmed down. She nodded and opened the letter, gasped, and swooned.

I caught her before she fainted and glanced at her results. “She passed everything again.”

Both adult Grangers were surprised by that and looked at the parchment, only to see Outstanding marked for all ten subjects.

“You need to check yours.” Jean said.

“When Hermione recovers.” I said and she helped me with her daughter.

Hermione eventually calmed down when her father put her OWL results next to her first year exam results. With her taken care of, I opened my letter and nodded. It was the same. I handed it to Hermione's father and he put it next to my first year results.

“HARRY!” Hermione yelled and pulled me into her patented choke-hold. The multiple kisses were a new addition, though.

I didn't mind at all, and neither did her parents, if their soft laughter was any indication.

“This is cause for a celebration.” Jean said and hugged us both. “Get changed and we'll go out to your favorite restaurant.”

“YAY!” Hermione yelled and dragged me up the stairs while her parents kept laughing.

*

Three weeks in Greece was great. We had been to several different countries over the years for summer vacation and Grecian beaches and swimming in the Mediterranean was the best by far. Of course, seeing Jean in a string bikini was also a huge bonus and her shapely ass in a thong was a feast for the eyes.

Hermione was a budding beauty as well. She was almost thirteen and the reality of girls maturing faster than boys was a bit of a shock, because it was especially true for witches and wizards. She was an inch and a half taller than me now and looked smug about that, so I couldn't wait for my own growth spurts to kick in.

Then again, she looked really cute having to duck her head enough to kiss me and the frequency of random kisses had increased a lot over the summer. Her hugs seemed to be a bit more personal and intimate, too. That could have been my own interpretation of her actions and the look on her face when she put her arms around my neck, though.

*

The letters to choose our courses were sent to Minvera McGonagall in mid-August and the woman showed up at the house the next day unannounced. She started to berate us for playing a joke on her and we showed her copies of our OWL results. It shocked her so much that she fainted. When she woke up a few minutes later, she took the copies and left.

Two hours later, Minerva came back and looked frazzled. She accepted the offered cup of tea and sat on the couch as she stared at us. “I don't know what I'm supposed to do with you now.”

Hermione and I talked with her for half an hour before Jean spoke up.

“I think you shouldn't go back.” Jean said and we all looked at her in surprise. “You're only young, so putting you into the classes with 16 and 17 year old students would cause too many problems. You also passed your OWLs, which means you can't attend any other classes for the next four years.”

“Well, damn.” I said and leaned back in the chair I was in. “I didn't think my joke would screw things up so much.”

“Your joke?” Minerva asked.

“We weren't supposed to take the OWLs. We snuck in and took the written exams, just to see if we could pass them, then our names were called to take the practicals.” I explained and Minerva's eyebrows raised. “It surprised us at the time, too. I thought it was restricted by age and it wasn't.”

“And we passed!” Hermione exclaimed, happily. “Because of that, we count as fully qualified!”

Minerva opened her mouth to argue, then sighed. “You are both the youngest witch and wizard to ever count as an adult in our society.”

“YAY!” Hermione yelled, hugged Harry, and kissed him right on the lips. Hermione's mother looked surprised and Minerva looked scandalized.

I laughed and held Hermione tightly as she blushed under the scrutiny. “I think we should take your mother's advice, because school really will be awkward when everyone finds out how advanced we are.”

“Mister Potter...” Minerva started to argue.

“We can also hire a tutor or two to help us study for our NEWTs.” I interrupted her and her face went back to looking stern. “Perhaps a Mistress of Transfiguration wouldn't mind giving up a Saturday afternoon every couple of weeks to earn twenty galleons.” I offered.

Minerva's stern look faded to thoughtfulness. “I suppose I could construct a limited plan for the two of you to follow for twenty galleons.”

I smiled. “I meant per session, Professor.”

Minerva's mouth dropped open and she stared at me.

“We can't pay anything less than top dollar for your services.” I explained and Hermione nodded. “Plus, when everyone learns that you're taking us under your wing to shepherd us into doing things properly...”

Minerva's shocked look changed to a bright smile. “I believe we can come up with a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

*

“I am really glad you read my letter.” I said to Luna Lovegood as we all sat down to tea. Hermione and I had convinced her parents to drive all the way over to Ottery St. Catchpole to the Lovegood's residence.

“I was a bit hesitant to accept the words of the boy-who-lived at face value.” Her father Xenophilius said. “Then Luna said she was accepting your deal and that was that.”

The adult Grangers laughed.

“Mum! He's being serious!” Hermione exclaimed.

“We know, Hermione. That's why it's funny.” Her father said. “We completely understand his point of view, you see.”

Hermione blushed a little and then huffed as she crossed her arms.

“You look really cute when you do that.” Luna said and nibbled on a scone.

“Doesn't she?” I asked and leaned over to kiss Hermione's cheek. “I try to not tease her too much about it; but, it's really difficult because she refuses to admit that she can be beautiful and cute at the same time.”

Hermione glared at me and I gave her another kiss on the cheek.

“Are you sure Luna's treatment at school would be that horrendous?” Jean asked, unsure.

“I can almost guarantee it, considering the attitudes of the closed-minded students.” I said and Hermione nodded. “As proof, Hermione and I only have two friends, Vince and Greg. No one else liked that we studied so much or spent so much time in the library. Since Luna here would become a Ravenclaw to rival all Ravenclaws, we couldn't let her brilliance be diminished by pettiness, jealousy, and enviousness.”

Both Luna and her father nodded in agreement.

“We've arranged a tentative agreement for you to live at the Granger house from Mondays through Fridays to study with Hermione and myself and you can return home on the weekends.” I said and Hermione's parents nodded. “I know it's going to be a little odd to...”

“Luna already agreed, so don't worry about any oddness. Lovegoods have that in spades.” Xeno interrupted me. “When would you like to start?”

I exchanged looks with Hermione. “It's up to you. Shall we enjoy the remaining summer alone or invite our new friend along to enjoy it with us?”

“Friend?” Luna asked in a soft voice.

“Of course. You can't expect us to not be friends if we're going to spend so much time together.” I said and I didn't think anyone's eyes could get that wide. I didn't even consider not doing what I did next and opened my arms for her.

Luna leapt from her chair and into my arms and hugged me tightly. If I hadn't had years of Hermione's hugs to temper my body, I surely would have been squeezed to death. I also ignored the dampness on my neck from her tears.

I had suspected she would be lonely and knew she would accept a genuine offer of friendship when it was offered, because she hadn't suffered years of bullying and torment from her housemates yet. Now she never would.

*

Sirius Black was finally released from the hospital after almost a year of recovery. It had been a condition set on him to restore him to his previous physical and mental health by the Ministry of Magic's Department of Magical Law Enforcement. He had been wrongfully imprisoned for ten years and they wanted to make sure he was at full health before handing over the monetary compensation for his unjust and illegal incarceration.

So, he was now doubly rich and the head of the Black Family. He didn't want it, though. He never did. He hated his family and what they did to him and his cousins, so he foisted it off onto the only one he could. His godson and heir, Harry Potter. He just hoped it was enough to buy his forgiveness and maybe he could start taking care of the boy he should have ten years ago.

*

I laughed and laughed when I received the Gringotts owl and the official papers inside the letter it carried. Hermione didn't bother asking me and just took the letter from me and read it herself. She started laughing as well. All of our plans had been carefully arranged around the wizarding money in my vault and the occasional conversion of lead bars into gold that we gave to her parents.

All of our worries about not bringing attention to ourselves for having more money than was feasible, flew out the window. It also opened up several more possibilities, including getting a particular item out of a Black Family related vault. A quick note and a tiny vial of basilisk venom sent off to the bank had the item destroyed and the gratitude of the goblins for the help.

Since Hermione and I were at home most of the time and we technically counted as legal, our movements and use of magic were unrestricted on the magical side. We still had to be careful around the muggles, though. Two barely teenagers on their own always drew more attention than we did when we had Jean come along with us.

*

No one questioned why a small abandoned shack in Little Hangleton burned down. The old Riddle manor house disappearing in flames caused only a slight uproar, until it was bought by some out-of-towner and they converted all of the lands into low-rent housing and removed the graveyard. It made the residents happy to have all of that land be put to good use.

12 Grimmauld Place followed a similar pattern after it was looted. No one could explain how a row house burned to the ground and didn't take the entire row with it. The neighbours laughed at the tall man with long black hair that danced on the ashes of the house. The old elf body of Kreacher would be burned up to nothing and a half-ruined locket would be tossed into the garbage during the clean-up and before a beautiful house was built into the spot.

When an unknown house elf popped into the Granger's house to warn Harry Potter about returning to Hogwarts, Harry immediately agreed and swore that he would not step foot into the castle for the entire year. Dobby was so stunned to be listened to without having to argue that when Luna asked him who he was and offered him a cup of tea, the house elf barely said his name before he fainted.

When Dobby woke up, Harry told him that he knew about the diary and had already taken care of the big bad snakey. If Dobby could either pop him over to the Malfoy's to get the book or if Dobby could deliver it to him, he would destroy it and solve the problem for the scared house elf. Dobby accepted the second proposal and quickly returned with the cursed diary.

Hermione told him a trick to become free of the family he hated and handed him a nearly identical copy of the diary. Dobby hugged it and thanked her before he disappeared with a soft crack.

Barely three days later, an article in the Daily Prophet reported the public fight between Lucius Malfoy and Arthur Weasley in Flourish and Blotts. It had been a side story to Gilderoy Lockhart's book signing and announcement that he was the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts.

After that, Harry sent several anonymous letters to the Albanian Department of Magical Law Enforcement about an evil spirit lurking in the forest and a possible anaconda snake. Beyond doing that, it was out of his hands until Voldemort somehow figured out how to come back without any help.

*

During what would have been Harry Potter's fourth year at Hogwarts, the Triwizard Tournament was announced in the newspaper. Almost no one saw the announcement that three of the youngest students in history had passed their NEWTs with all outstandings.

Minerva was confused when she received a letter from Harry Potter about graduating from his magical education and couldn't qualify for the tournament, since he was not a student of any school. She had known that because she was his tutor for years. It wasn't until Halloween when the champions were drawn that it made sense.

Harry's name came out of the Goblet and Minerva immediately protested, because Harry was not a student. Both Albus and the Ministry Representative named Pius Thickneese agreed that it didn't matter and he had to compete because his name came out of the goblet. Minerva pleaded with the other headmasters and they shrugged and said as long as Hogwarts didn't have two champions, it didn't matter.

Minerva quit on the spot and she turned to look at Filius Flitwick. He had joined her during her tutoring sessions and helped a lot more than he should have, because he knew that he had lost access to the smartest witches and wizard of this generation. The pay had been great as well. He decided to join Minerva in her protest and resigned as well, because a non-student legally couldn't compete.

Pomona Sprout was stunned and watched as two people she respected walked out of the Great Hall with their heads held high. She regretted her immediate reaction of hatred for Potter taking the spotlight from her Cedric, even if Potter hadn't been a student for three years. Unlike them, she couldn't in good conscience abandon her students like that.

All letters concerning the tournament that were sent to Harry Potter, no matter who they were from, were returned unopened. Even when all official stamps and seals were not used, the letters were still returned unopened. That was a loophole that the tournament organizers and those conspiring to bring Harry Potter back to the wizarding world hadn't foreseen. Their inability to tell him he was a champion.

On the day of the first task on November 24, as soon as the event started officially, Albus Dumbledore and all the judges, the tournament organizers, the Minister of Magic and his staff, and most of the department heads, their assistants, and all of the clerks lost their magic. In a small bit of irony, one of them was a Death Eater and all of the dark marks were magically linked, so they all lost their magic as well.

With most of the ruling class removed, the entire magical world changed.

*

“So, was that everything?” A 17 year old Hermione asked with a breathy voice. Her hair was matted with sweat, her body was exhausted, and she had a smug smile on her face.

Luna let out a little giggle and hugged her side. “I'm sure Harry's Humdinger thinks so.”

“It resembles a crumpled horned snorkack right now, not a humdinger.” I joked back and the two girls laughed.

“I'm still having a difficult time believing you don't want to have sex with anyone but us.” Hermione eventually said.

“Who told you that? I want to have sex with all the beautiful witches in the world!” I exclaimed and both Hermione and Luna gave me blank looks. “Don't give me that look. You are both beautiful and you will never convince me you aren't.”

Both girls rolled their eyes at me and huffed. Why they couldn't accept that they were gorgeous was beyond me, so I ignored it.

“I honestly thought I would have my hands full with just Hermione, then along came Luna...”

“...and I came and came and came! It was wonderful!” Luna interrupted me.

I chuckled. “I warned you to not cast the tickling charm on my penis while we were having sex.”

“Are you kidding? That was the best thing to happen since the alarm charm was invented for wands.” Luna countered.

That earned a blank look from both me and Hermione.

“What? Don't tell me you haven't tried it after a late night studying session.” Luna accused us.

“I am not touching that comment.” I said and leaned over Hermione to kiss the blonde on the lips before I kissed Hermione and laid back down. “We need to get to sleep before we can continue taking over the world tomorrow.”

There were so many fun things you could buy if you had nearly infinite money.

“You promised to stay here and not go into work until after lunch.” Hermione reminded me.

“Bloody hell, I'm an idiot for saying that. I want my world domination as soon as possible, dammit!” I said and both girls laughed, because we had all the time in the world to do whatever we wanted.