What Do you Mean All Dungeons are Girls!!!? Enhanced Edition

The older man smiled when the trees cleared and their destination came into view. The town was clearly still growing with tents everywhere, but the beginnings of a town wall could already be seen. With a fence of wood and packed earth surrounding the perimeter. Workers were tilling the cleared land and the first farms could be seen. While inside the walls new buildings were already built. It was clear that in a few weeks, a proper town would be here. In the meantime, it was just a destination.

He glanced at his four sorry recruits and gestured toward the town. “Hurry up boys, we are almost there.”

“Uh, finally. I’m damn bored, where are the monsters?”

He chuckled, “Avoiding us, monsters aren’t stupid and I have the aura of an experienced adventurer. Most of the ones around are Thornback Wolves ranging from level ten to twenty and wolves prefer weaker prey. I saw a few on the way in.”

“You did!? We could have gone hunting.”

“Ain’t worth my time. Although my daughter did say she wanted a pet, hmm. Maybe we could capture one on our way back?

One of the boys scoffed, “A pet? Just get her a collar, that’s what I...”

The man punched him before he could finish. “Come on, let’s go to the guild, we need to register and do some research.”

“Why? We should just go to the dungeon. Get this whole thing over with. It’s young so it can’t be that hard.”

The others quickly agreed and he sighed. They wanted to dive headlong into a dungeon with no information? He knocked them around a little and dragged their sorry asses to the guild. He knew they were going to get chewed up and spat out by the dungeon, but he was going to beat good work ethics into them even if it killed him. Sometimes he hated his job, but being shackled with the idiots was usually safer than the other tasks the guilds handed out. Not to mention it meant he could be home more often than otherwise. Even if he was away from his beloved little girl a little too much for his taste. Thinking about how he would love to see her face if he brought back a pet. Something younger and low level so that it would be her pet and not the other way around. A wolf would be nice, they were often very loyal and protective companions. With one of those, he could be assured that his daughter was safe while he was working.

He put it aside for now and focused on finding the guild. Which wasn’t too hard since the town was young. Not many large buildings yet, there was the guild, a single house, the inn and a bathhouse and that was about it in terms of large buildings. Although they were still kind of small compared to the majestic buildings he had seen in other cities. Naturally that was a very unfair comparison. Cities like Salmus and White Rock had been around for centuries. It was only natural that they would be home to man-made wonders. While this border town was young and founded mere weeks ago, it simply hadn’t had time to properly build itself up. The numerous tents were just one more mark of its young age.

Stepping into the guild hall he looked around. Quickly liking what he saw. He steered the young boys to the tables, where the scantily clad staff could attend to them. It was nice to see proper staff dress like that. Almost like home, but the staff clothes weren’t quite right for that. They were close enough though, although perhaps more at home in a demon town than anywhere else. He chuckled to himself at the thought. He knew some demons were good at corrupting others, but this dungeon seemed to work fast.

Walking up to the receptionist, a  pretty elven lady, he gave her his best smile and placed five guild cards on the counter. “I would like to register my party with the guild and I want to purchase any information the guild may have on the dungeon.”

She nodded, “Certainly sir. I’ll have it done in a moment.”

He watched her as she went about her work with perfect professionalism. He was impressed, too many receptionists back home were just... not very good at their jobs. She however was professional and knew what she was doing. It took her only moments to return the cards, and then she pulled out a booklet. “It’s not much, as not many parties have progressed past the second floor, but this contains a rundown on the dungeon. I can also give you a bare bones overview of the first two floors if you like.”

“Certainly, you might mention things not in the material and best to hear it from someone who understands it anyway.”

She smiled, “Understood. Now the Local dungeon is a demonic dungeon of the lust variety with a false death penalty. People who fail have been noted to revive at the entrance naked and female. Confirmed monsters are low-rank Demon Girls and Beastkin demons of the lust variety. The first floor is fairly straightforward and mapped out well. It has two bonus rooms off the main path, they are somewhat harder than the rest of the floor, but do give out good rewards. The best one being a piece of armor. If you get the full set there are several guild associates that would be interested in purchasing it. The armor is geared for women to use, so keep that in mind.”

He nodded, “I will. So the first floor is basically a single path. Any traps?”

“Pitfalls and rockfalls. Nothing complex. As for monster level, they are typically around levels eight to ten. With the floor boss being a mid-sized party of level fifteen demons. Be careful with them, they are not an easy fight. They work together like a skilled party. The mages in the group use mainly dark magic, but they will use other elements as well. More info is in that book.”

“Noted, what about the second floor?”

“That floor is a little different. Rather than a single path, it has three, and all three must be explored to move on. The central path leads to the boss, and there is little point in taking it until you have cleared the other two, which can be cleared in any order. Although one should note that the second path will get harder after the first is cleared. Both paths end with a question tablet that will ask you ten random questions. We have a list of the known questions and answers in the booklet, but the dungeon may ask ones not in the book. If you fail, a trap will activate. On the left hand side that trap is a lethal spiked room trap that will close the door and try to crush you. As for the right hand trap? It’s a nasty floor-transfer trap that will take you to a special challenge area on the third floor. Beyond that not much is known about it. The Eval team didn’t really say much about it. Only that they lost a member there.”

He blinked. As any adventure of his level knew, floor transfer traps were always nasty. “I will keep that in mind and you said the second path taken gets harder?”

“Specifically the puzzle questions, but yes.”

“In that case it sounds like one should take the right hand path first. Thanks for the insight. What can you tell me about the boss?”

“The second floor boss is the Dragon Girl Meifa. She is a rather difficult opponent, only a few have had any success with her. Outside of the Eval team, only Guildmaster Phillip has gotten past her.”

He blinked, “The guild master? Why was he running the dungeon?”

“For some quest, and he is a she now. Apparently, the goddess of mischief Tina was involved with that, but I don’t know the particulars.”

The man didn’t know what to say for a minute or two, “I’m... sorry to hear that.”

He really was, he had the honor of meeting Phillip once, not that the older man was likely to recall. The man had been a small boy at the time and meeting Phillip had been what led him to become an adventurer and that was what led him to meet his wife. Now it seemed the poor guy had been the victim of an evil goddess.

“I think she is doing alright, although I think Misaki has something to do with that. The two of them are so CUTE TOGETHER!”

“Oh? You like other girls?”

“I love them, especially cute little ones like Phillip and Misaki. I just want to pet them. You know what I mean?”

He backed off a little, “um, no, not really.” Then something occurred to him; Little? Cute? He had a hard time attributing those words to Phillip Greybreard, the man was huge. His mind clashed trying to picture it and then he decided not to.

A moment later he politely excused himself and then went to collect the idiots. It was time to prepare for a dungeon run. Hopefully they would listen when he told them the plan. Regardless, he was going to keep them in line. He also decided to keep the whole death penalty to himself. Why spoil the surprise? Especially for those worthless idiots. For a moment he wondered why he ever agreed to take them on. Then he remembered his cute daughter and how little time he got with her. Taking on a job as a guild instructor tended to give him safer jobs, but it didn’t do much to cut time away from her like he had hoped. He still ended up on month-long jobs far too much for his liking, but far less than he would otherwise. He really just wanted to retire so he could focus on raising her, but he needed the money. Maybe things would be easier if her mother was still around, but the lord had taken a liking to her. There was nothing he could do after that had happened, except wish he hadn’t noticed her. It was just bad luck that day in the market.

Pushing the past aside he gathered the idiots and got to work. They had a dungeon to run. The sooner they were done, the sooner he could get back home to his beloved daughter. He smiled at the thought, but he wasn’t going to take unneeded risks, although sadly he couldn’t say the same about the idiots under his wing.