Wearing Power Armor to a Magic School

Chapter 88: Where Is My Sports Suit?!



The Transgracian Academy for the Magical Arts. The Hall of Champions. Local Time: 0800

Emma

The Grand Concourse of Learning was, for the first time this week, not our destination.

In fact, following breakfast, we made our way straight past its large expansive spaces, out and through several open-air hallways, and towards what was effectively the exact opposite direction of Sorecar’s workshop.

This was an area of the Academy that the EVI had yet to map, which prompted the virtual intelligence to go into overdrive now as we were inundated with sights, sounds, and a myriad of architectural splendors that really put me in mind of one very specific aesthetic — Victorian Gymnasiums.

The whole structure looked like a cross between a Victorian era train station and greenhouse, and if I were to squint my eyes, I could honestly see a vague resemblance between it and the original Crystal Palace; a change of pace from the architectural style of the main castle.

Instead of more cobblestone and deep slate, we were instead treated to tons and tons of wrought iron and steel, forged and curved into anything and everything from grand columns to ornate struts, all of which criss-crossed and encased a structure composed mostly out of stained glass. The latter didn’t just contain cool designs or patterns however, but intricately detailed landscapes, characters, and even animals; all perfectly preserved within its crystalline form.

Some of the scenes were about what you’d expect, from knights on horseback in jousting competitions, to wizards locked in battle with dragons and lovecraftian eye-monsters. Though quite a few were much more unique than that, displaying what I could only describe as magical sports that ranged from flying competitions with wizards soaring through the clouds, to what appeared to be martial arts involving specific ‘elements’ ranging from earth to steel to fire and water.

However, the closer I got, the more I realized that the seemingly static figures depicted within the glass were in fact… moving. Slowly, sure, as if stricken with a terminal case of cinematic slow-mo like something out of a TR Lorian film, but it was movement all the same. The reasons behind which, if not obvious enough, were made all the more clear by the blaring of several continuous mana radiation warnings.

Though it quickly became clear to me that not everyone shared the same enthusiasm for this aesthetically pleasing structure, as I turned back to see close to a hundred souls more focused on trying to find a sense of direction and our missing teacher.

Much to everyone’s annoyance however, neither could be found.

Which prompted a slow, but expected, gradual climb of incessant bickering between the student body.

That was, until Qiv Ratom finally brought some semblance of order, pointing towards a poster conveniently pinned onto a little bulletin board next to one of the massive structure’s entrances.

The gorn-like lizard stepped up to the plate, reaching for the loose poster. However, just as quickly as he’d taken initiative did he immediately leap back.

The poster began expanding, as if unrolling from an infinite stack of papers, until finally, it reformed itself in the form of what I could only describe as an origami-Chiska.

“All students are to enter through this door and follow the rules of the Grand Gymnasium written within!” The origami-Chiska spoke, her voice somehow coming through to the tune of both mana radiation warnings and the crumpling of paper. “I will grant you thirty minutes to be acquainted with the rules, after which, I expect to see you in the gymnasium’s main hall! Remember, physical education is as much about exercising personal initiative, as it is about exercising your mortal forms!”

Not a moment following the speech did the origami-Chiska unfold back into the little bulletin board, after which, all text that was previously written on it slowly faded into nothing.

I took a few moments to regard that whole… scene, all the while Qiv once more stepped back up to the front of the crowd, regaining his composure and promptly following those instructions to a T.

“You heard the professor! It would seem as if today’s lessons come in the form of a gauntlet of challenges. Let us prove to the professor that we are worthy of our titles as pupils of the Transgracian Academy, lest we wallow in indecision.” He gestured towards the entrance, taking the initiative, and entering first.

The whole class followed suit like a pack of lemmings, entering what looked and felt like a cross between a massive train terminal concourse, and a souped-up ultra-luxe changing room.

It was the latter observation however that would quickly prove to hold more weight than I’d initially thought, as the whole class, at Qiv’s prompting, was drawn to a massive wooden board. On which were rules written in High Nexian, all of which were translated to English in the blink of an eye courtesy of the EVI.

The rules were… obviously, catered towards the magical arts. Many of which seemed oddly specific. With things ranging from SPORTSMANSHIP IS KEY: NO DRAINING OF THE AMBIENT MANA AROUND YOUR OPPONENT to things like NO ASTRAL PROJECTION.

And whilst my attention was almost entirely drawn to the weirder rules, it seemed as if there was one, easily overlooked rule, that caught the eye of the entire year group.

“And so the Academy wishes to humiliate us once more.” Ilunor spoke under a hushed breath.

“Wait what?” I cocked my head, prompting the Vunerian to point and highlight one of the rules hidden within a long laundry list of many others.

ALL STUDENTS ARE TO CHANGE TO SPORTS-APPROPRIATE ATTIRE PRIOR TO ENTRY

“Okay.” I shrugged. “What’s so humiliating about that?” I offered, turning to Thalmin who was quick to comply nonchalantly with a burst of mana radiation—instantaneously swapping out the ceremonial armor getup he usually wore for what I could only describe as an outfit analogous to that of full body athletic wear. One that covered him from neck to toe, and from shoulder to wrist, in a fabric that resembled a strange cross between modern lycra, and the padding of a fencing kit.

This whole change had occurred so quickly, that I had to do a double take. As what I saw was literally a jump and a mid-air spin, akin to what you’d see in The Life Simulation games.

Though despite this insanely convenient stunt, others however, strangely enough, didn’t seem to follow suit. With the exception of Thacea, Ilunor, Qiv and his gang, and a few others, there seemed to be a particular lack of instantaneous outfit changes amongst the crowd.

“What’s humiliating is the fact that there was no forewarning of this.” Ilunor noted, stepping towards me in an outfit that I could only describe as a polo player’s outfit, complete with leather riding gloves and a cap to boot. “Thankfully, it would seem as if everyone in our peer group knows the unique and practical skill of instantaneous dressage, with a catalog of outfits readily accessible. So, whilst we are immune to the humiliation, the rest… do not seem so fortunate you could say.” Ilunor gestured towards the crowd that, at this point, seemed to be at a complete loss for action.

Many of them opted to snap their fingers in lieu of magically swapping clothes. Though this resulted in little but confused looks, and frustrated huffs.

“Where are my familiars?!”

“Where are my attendants?”

“This will not do!”

“Where. Is. My. Sports. Suit?!”

The scene quickly descended into outright panicked frenzy, prompting Qiv to once more take charge, and with a surge of mana radiation, he raised his voice far louder amongst the crowd. “It would seem as if this building does not allow for the presence of personal attendants, magical or otherwise. So please, proceed to any of the personal powder rooms situated on either side of the concourse. There seems to already be academy-issued sportswear for those among us currently lacking in appropriate attire.”

“Really?” I shot back, turning towards Ilunor with a cocked head. “That’s… that’s what they were worried about?”

The Vunerian sighed loudly in response, placing a palm above his snout in a display of dramatized frustration. “Careful about such sweeping statements, earthrealmer. Your commoner heritage is showing, and it bodes poorly for the optics of our group.” I held my breath, just flinching at his antics. “In any case, yes. That’s what they were worried about. For the well-to-do, and those of noble heritage, a personal dresser, most commonly a servant at home, or a familiar when in foreign lands, will attend to one’s needs. The act of dressage is one such basic need to be fulfilled. The likes of which are clearly being woefully ignored here by our air-headed professor. An act of humiliation, and one that does not bode well for her tenure.”

“So… why don’t you guys—” I paused, before reaching my own conclusions. “You’ve probably had to learn the speedy magical way of dressing because of—”

“The needs of battle.” Thalmin interjected first.

“The cutthroat world of avinor court politics, sometimes necessitating time-saving measures.” Thacea continued.

Which left Ilunor, who once more sighed whilst crossing his arms. “Practicality, as sometimes my precious time would be far too wasted at the hands of a servant. I sometimes require several outfit changes in a day, and I demand high standards, which I find a servant to be too incompetent to live up to.”

I was too busy being completely blown away by sheer culture shock at this point, so much so that I didn’t even notice the arrival of the anthropomorphic butterfly Lady Ladona, who managed to sneak up on me.

“Cadet Emma Booker.” She managed out in that signature condescending sneer, pausing as she made a point to look me over, her eyes scanning me from head to toe. “Are you not going to change into the appropriate attire?”

I sighed, the EVI filtering that out as I spoke. “We’ve been through this, Lady Ladona. In fact, you’ve come to the same conclusions yourself, haven’t you? I literally cannot change into anything other than this suit of armor. So just tell me what convoluted scheme you have cooking up in your head so that we can just get to class, please.”

“So very crass and to the point.” She snapped back, ‘tsking’ all the while as she turned to the rest of the group. “Is she always like this?”

Silence was her only response, even from the likes of Ilunor who just ignored her outright.

“Well, I beg your pardon but I regret to be the bearer of bad news, or the purveyor of the obvious.” She pointed to the rule board behind her. “However, I am afraid that if we are to respect the rules of this class, you require some form of a change of apparel, one that would best fit the Academy’s definition of—”

ALERT: LOCALIZED SURGE OF MANA-RADIATION DETECTED, 230% ABOVE BACKGROUND RADIATION LEVELS

Ladona was stopped mid-sentence, as she, along with myself, were both thrown off by the sudden burst of mana radiation, and more specifically, what came after it.

As I soon found my reinforced armored neckline covered by a bright red scarf, one that was wrapped around me by none other than Thacea. On it, was what seemed to be the Academy’s crest, and the words ‘Physical Education’ embroidered onto it.

“Is this some sort of a jape?” Was Ladona’s only response, her eyes narrowing towards Thacea now, who simply conjured up the course syllabus we were handed in orientation.

“Whilst I do agree that Professor Chiska’s… less than courteous handling of this first class leaves a lot to be desired, I must give her credit where credit is due. She does seem to take into account the few variations and special exceptions granted to differences in body morphology and physiological quirks. To spare you the specifics from the syllabus, which I assume you must already be familiar with, it would appear as if the only caveat to these exceptions is for the pupil in question to have, and I quote: “A recognizable symbol of the Academy, and the specific class in question.” The avinor princess flicked away the syllabus with an elegant hand motion. “I believe this fulfills those requirements. Moreover, if my actions have resulted in discrepancies contrary to the stated rules, then I will be more than happy to discuss them in length with Professor Chiska herself.”

The butterfly, to her credit, didn’t once flinch at Thacea’s retorts. In fact, she seemed to glare down at her, despite the mere inch worth of difference in height. “And so the child dresses their doll.” She retorted wistfully. “But I digress. I am certain that the honorable Chiska will have her way with you if she so wishes. I am merely here to provide a friendly reminder. But alas, it would seem as if you’ve thought of everything, Princess Dilani. I will bother you no longer.” She made an effort to turn away, but not before craning her head around for one final jab. “Enjoy your broken toy, princess.”

I didn’t think it was even possible, but here I was, staring down at someone who managed to push all the wrong buttons in a way that was proportionally worse than the Vunerian. I could practically hear my heart thumping behind my eardrums now, as my face flushed red with rage and a heat that couldn’t be contained by the suit’s climate control systems.

However, before I could even get a word out, a shrill whistling sound managed to overtake the attention of everyone, bringing out most of the powder rooms’ occupants practically on cue.

“All students! Proceed to the Central Hall when ready!” An incorporeal voice blared out. Prompting Qiv, now dressed in a renaissance-esque billowy shirt with era-appropriate pants to boot, to lead the way.

“You heard the professor! Let us move forth!” He announced, corralling everyone through a massive passageway and into what appeared to be a massive stadium, complete with bleachers, benches, and stands, as well as several observation posts where gargoyles stood atop of; controlling light fixtures, ropes, and a whole host of magical and mechanical implements.

All in all, the whole place looked eerily familiar to your standard track and field stadium, with an ovoid wall filled with benches overlooking a patch of greenery down and in the very center of the space. A series of orange ‘tracks’ delineated with long continuous white stripes separated each runner’s ‘lane’, which left the middle greenery eerily empty, made even more conspicuous by the massive wrought-iron and glass enclosed skylight that allowed tinted sunlight through its stained patterns.

The sunlight seemed to dance and ripple, as if following the animated scenes on the stained glass.

This continued only for a few more moments however, until the sunlight was suddenly and abruptly overcast by a looming shadow.

A shadow that started small, but grew larger and larger until—

CRASH!

The entirety of that central dome shattered.

CREAK!

The wrought-iron support struts bent and crumpled.

ROAAAARRRR!

And a literal dragon arrived on scene.

THUMP THUMP THUMP!

Its wings generated a loud series of stomach-churning vibrations with every flap. The gusts threatened to knock some students off their feet and propelled more of the rubble towards us.

However, before any of the glass shards even had a chance to hit us, a blurry, almost indistinct haze of orange managed to zip its way from the back of the dragon, leaping onto the still-falling support struts, before finally, unfurling an oversized upside-down parachute that managed to capture and cinch all of the falling debris in as little time as the structural failure of the dome itself.

And whilst the unaided eye would’ve simply witnessed a streak of orange darting back and forth, a quick look over at the slow-mo footage revealed none other than a particularly speedy feline taking superhuman speed to the next level.

The parachute full of debris landed on the grass field in a satisfying THUD, followed closely in tow by Chiska guiding what seemed to be a modestly sized wyvern down next to it.

“WELCOME!” She announced, hopping off of the wyvern with an unnecessary and overly-showy backflip. “Welcome, students, to the amazing world of physical education! I know you might not think too much of this course, nor its contents. But should you put your heart and mind to it, then that—” She paused, before pointing towards both the wyvern, and the pile of debris behind her. “—will become a trivial matter that anyone here can accomplish.”

The reactions from the crowd… were decidedly mixed. With about half of the year group putting up a face of complete disinterest, and a good quarter looking intrigued, but moreso the sort of ‘intrigued’ that Qiv loved to put up just for show. It was that last quarter however that was actually captivated by the whole show. Though the mileage of that interest seemed to vary a lot, ranging from Gumigo’s wide-eyed shock, to Thalmin’s bold-faced grin of excitement.

“Oh, and when I say everything I just did will become a trivial matter, should you put your heart to it. I do mean everything.” The professor reiterated, gesturing towards the wyvern this time around. “Because while the one-note animal familiar may be useful for dress-up, you never know what you’re missing until you’ve tamed yourself an actual Grade A familiar.” She chuckled, snapping her fingers and prompting the hauler truck sized wyvern to simply lift off, shooting up like a rocket, up and through the broken skylight.

“Anyways, that leads me to my next point. Expectations and evaluations. Now, contrary to all of your other classes, there will be no written assessment! For you shall be assessed on how well you manage to accomplish the core goals of this class. Does anyone, anyone at all, know what these core goals may be?” She paused for effect, as if waiting for someone to chime in.

Qiv, as always, raised his hand high.

“Yes, Lord Qiv!”

“To learn the principles of magical augmentation to the physical form, to enhance both your body’s martial abilities and feats of athletics, as well as to learn the ways of enhancing both your stamina and constitution. The former, being quite self-explanatory, and the latter, being subjects useful for the universal application of magic.”

“Correct, Lord Qiv! Five points!” Chiska beamed back, still maintaining that high-energy excitement she seemed to be in abundant supply of. “Yes, those are the core goals for this class. Simple! Clean! Efficient! And very much easy to accomplish!” The professor stood tall, placing both hands by her hips in a ‘heroic’ pose. “Easy, being the operative word here.” She shifted her tone of voice for a moment, to one of mild disappointment. “Long gone are the days of the battle for familiars, and long gone are the days of compulsory drake riding. Academy reforms have made it such that physical education has been reoriented towards servicing the needs of a contemporary world for a contemporary noble. Which means I am obligated to inform you that most of what counts towards a passing grade, is participation in evaluatory activities. However—”

Chiska paused for dramatic effect, turning towards us with a mischievous smile.

“—whilst no longer compulsory, these activities, and more, are without a doubt, still classes I will teach. Because even if this class no longer requires compulsory trials in order to pass, they will still count towards the difference between an excellent, good, or an average passing grade!” The feline cackled, standing there triumphantly as she effortlessly lifted the wreckage up back towards the ceiling, reassembling the whole thing with a single snap of her finger.

“Anyways! That’s enough blabber! We’re here to perform some physical activities, so let’s get started!” The professor quickly gestured towards the track, and without breaking a sweat, managed to expand it to the point where there were at least a hundred lanes now. “We’re going to be doing two main exercises today! Strength, and endurance! Now, none of you are going to like this… but we’ll be dividing them into two categories. First, is a test to determine exactly what your fitness levels are without magical augmentation.”

The whole class, predictably, began an immediate uproar against this.

Though thankfully, Qiv managed to settle them back down as easily as he always did.

“I know, tragic, a literal cataclysm of the highest order.” Chiska shot back sarcastically. “But it is an unfortunate truth. Today’s lessons will be focused on determining your baseline physicality, as well as your baseline physicality when augmented by magic. These scores will be necessary for me to plan a personalized training regimen for the rest of the school year. So, with all that being said, let’s start the endurance aspect of this exercise.” Chiska reached a hand forwards, turning part of the stands and bleachers into a grand staircase down towards the field.

The entire year group, under much urging from Qiv, began filing down one by one.

It took five minutes before everyone was ready, and several more minutes for everyone to find their place on the oversized track.

At which point, Auris, Ladona, Qiv, and a few others glared at me with varying levels of disdain.

It was Auris, however, that raised his hand to address the elephant in the room. “Professor?”

“Yes, Lord Ping! What is it?”

“Why is the newrealmer here?”

The professor glared at Auris with a look of complete befuddlement, cocking her head in the process. “She’s a student… participating in this class… now if you have an actual question in mind, I would prefer to—”

“I apologize for my lack of clarity professor. But what I mean is simply this — we have all heard the rumors that the newrealmer is, for lack of a better term, mana deficient. She lacks the ability to engage in the magical arts as a result. Would it be fair then, for her to participate in this, and the subsequent mana-augmented physical exercises?” The bull offered, laying down his ultimatum with a glint of satisfied malice in his eyes. “I am merely concerned for both the welfare and the pride of our mana deficient peer, professor.”

“I have been informed of this unfortunate situation, yes.” Chiska nodded, with a quick twitch of her ear. “Whilst I would have preferred to have kept it a private matter, it seems as if that option is no longer possible. It has been decided that Cadet Emma Booker will not be participating in mana-based activities within this course.”

That seething frustration from before came back almost instantly, and it was only my small hope of Chiska’s strength of character that prompted me to keep on listening.

“However! I have personally petitioned for Cadet Emma Booker to be able to participate in activities at my discretion. And it is my discretion that Cadet Emma Booker is to be granted the ability to participate in non-mana augmented physical trials. That is all, Lord Ping.”

That answer… didn’t seem to satisfy either me, nor Ping.

However, the fact that the professor had actively petitioned for that spoke a lot to not just her character, but her aims.

It was because of this that I raised my hand, realizing that there very well could be some wiggle room to be had here.

“Yes, Cadet Booker? I do apologize for not informing you earlier. It was my intent to inform you following the conclusion of the first round of activities.”

“That’s alright, professor. However, I did have a point I wish to raise.”

“Go on?”

“Considering that my ability to participate is up to your discretion, would it be possible to ask if I could participate in all activities henceforth? As in, both mana augmented and non-mana augmented activities?”

The professor took a moment to actually ponder that question.

Though that moment of silence was enough for Ping, and a whole litany of other students, to butt in.

“What?! Preposterous! Absolutely ludicrous! The girl is out of her mind!”

“While I am certain she may perform admirably in the unaugmented aspects of physicality, there is surely an incongruence here between confidence and reality when it comes to the magically augmented physical trials?”

“I say, we let her. It’s going to be oh-so satisfying to see that newrealmer smugness wiped from her mana-deficient face.”

“The newrealmer wishes to save face for what is effectively a failing and a fault integral to her very being.” Ping announced, louder than the rest of the crowd. “Admirable, but foolish. Moreover…” He paused, turning to Ladona, who picked up where he left off.

“Surely this is something of an insult to the infallibility of your word, and the principles of your class, Professor.” The butterfly quickly added, the pair practically ‘tag-teaming’ the fast-paced insults geared towards me, through questions posed to the professor.

“Then how about you put your money where your mouth is, Lord Ping.” I shot back with a glare. “And you too, Lady Ladona.”

The pair turned towards one another, before breaking out in a fit of dry chuckles. “Are you proposing a wager, Cadet Emma Booker?”

“Sure.” I answered, stopping the both of them in their tracks. “Why not. Depends though. What’s the wager?”

“What you are currently campaigning for, obviously. Your right to participate in magically-augmented activities.” Ladona took charge, before turning towards the professor. “Provided of course, the ancient rules of this class still apply despite its modern moniker, professor?”

The professor took a deep breath, shooting back a frustrated gaze towards Ladona. “I am surprised you know of the deep lore of physical education, Lady Ladona. But yes, I am a traditionalist, so the Rite of Challenges still do apply.”

“Splendid!” Ladona managed out with an insect-like chattering. “Then I propose, with respect, to entertain the newrealmer’s… eccentric desires. I propose to you, Cadet Emma Booker, to prove yourself worthy of partaking in these mana-based activities… without the aid of mana enhancement as per your kind’s… natural shortcomings.”

“To do so, Cadet Emma Booker, you must beat the party with which your wager is hedged upon. In this case, Lord Auris Ping.” Chiska clarified.

“That is, if you still wish to entertain this wager at all.” Auris chimed in, prompting the laughter of almost the entirety of class to follow shortly thereafter.

That laughter, however, was short-lived.

“Yeah, I accept.” I answered bluntly and without much fanfare, bringing the derision to a short and abrupt end. “More than that, I doubt that’ll be enough of a challenge, really. So I propose we make this a bit more interesting.” I continued, completely side-stepping Ping and Ladona’s attempts at belittlement. “Top of the class, for both strength and endurance. All or nothing.”

Time seemed to suddenly come to a stop, and so did any and all remaining hushed whispers, as all eyes were now on Ping.

“I accept, newrealmer.” The man replied without even a flinch, as the beginnings of a grin started to form at the edges of his muzzle. “This should prove… entertaining.” He managed out with a chuckle.

This whole exchange elicited a fangy, mischievous grin from the likes of Chiska. “Then it is settled. Cadet Emma Booker, your Rite of Challenge today, is to prove your worthiness in order to participate in future mana-augmented physical activities. To do so, you must beat Lord Auris Ping in both the non-mana augmented and the mana-augmented challenges! And, should you so wish it, you must also make your way to the top of class on all of today’s exercises. Do you accept?”

“Yes, professor.” I responded without hesitation, my unblinking lenses soon locking onto my unsuspecting game. “I accept.”


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