Before Then, And After Now
"Morn'n…" Sam's voice whispers deeply into Simone's exposed ear.
Stirring with a long drawn inhale and exhale, the redhead smirks and stretches her arms, though one is numb from being used as a pillow.
"Mmmmmmnmmmorning…" she responds before folding her hands under her head
"It's the last day of shore leave… What do you want to do?" Sam asks impishly as she begins to play with her partner's short fur by looking a finger through it.
"Get a double caffeine stim…" Simone answers while wiping one of her eyes free of gunk.
"You know what I mean ya brickhead…" Sam chuckles before playfully smushing her knuckles into the redhead’s cheek.
Simone smiles and sighs dramatically.
"I don't know… last night is gonna be hard to beat…" she says with a wink.
Sam rolls her eyes and shakes her head endearingly.
"I told you that doesn't count."
"Why not? It sure felt like you were doing something special-" Simone begins to point out before a hand cups her mouth.
"That wasn't a birthday gift." Sam reiterates, "That was because I love you. Now today… you're getting something. As your superior officer I order you to think of what you'd like to do."
"Isn't there rules against that?" Simone counters slyly from her covered mouth.
Sam plants her forehead into Simone's chest in exasperation.
"What we're doing now is against the rules, ya wingnut… please for the love of the stars Simone…
Please…
Simone… please…
Listen to me!
What are you doing!?
Where- wha…
What did you do….
What did you do!!?
-
Simone jostles awake, pushing herself up from the metal desk. She remembers being voluntarily led in a security questioning cell after subduing… Sam… at least what looks like Sam.
She's relieved to see no one has cuffed her while she was out, though some dread finds its way into her chest.
Despite saving Chak from imminent death, she feels like a damn failure. It is her own past coming back to hurt the Cali. Just as she feared… she ended up hurting Chak.
The cycling questions in her head do not help her mind space as well.
'How is Sam even alive!?'
'What did they turn her into!?'
'Are there… more… Are they all still alive?'
The redhead leans forward, burying her face as the familiar horrible feeling of relapsing panic in her starts to flood her soul.
This is too much.
She needs a drink, right now.
Digging through her jacket she quickly pulls out her father's old flask. Just this one time, it'll be fine. It helps. It will help.
"That was Robert’s, right?" A surprising voice says as an older man walks by to sit across from Simone.
She's shocked that she didn't hear him enter… though now she hears the shutting of the door clearly.
Not getting a response, the man scoots up and takes in the redhead’s expression.
"So you didn't know she was alive either…" he picks up, reaching a hand out for the flask.
Nodding, Simone hands the memento over for the man to look over.
He turns it in his hand, smirking.
"You know, I don't recall ever seeing your old man actually drink from this thing. Always wondered why he always had it on him…"
"Family heirloom." Simone answers before clearing her throat.
"That I know, but I never seen him swig from it. Have you?"
"Uhm… I assumed he did. Though he wasn't much of a drinker." Simone replies with a forced smirk.
The old man gives a thoughtful expression, now holding the item in both of his hands.
"The top is polished to a mirror finish." He comments as he tilts it up to check something, "Yep. You have to look directly into your own eyes. If you don't intentionally close your eyes or some shit that is. But I like it."
Finishing his inspection he respectfully hands it back to the woman, who feels guilty for nearly using the last physical thing she has of her father's in such a… disrespectful way.
She fits it back in her jacket and centers herself the best she can manage.
"Has she… said anything?" She asks.
"Nope. And the docs don't think she ever will." The man answers grimly.
"She’s still unconscious?" Simone pressesfor clarity.
"Oh no. Wide awake and forcefully restrained. Already had a few close calls. No… docs are saying she doesn't have the cords to speak. In fact… hm…" the man hesitates to continue, "What's left of her is a head and spine… everything else is replaced with some real refined tech. I'm hoping you can shed some light to help this all make sense.
Simone shifts in her seat, unsure of how much to divulge.
"None of it does…" she mumbles somberly.
"Please, Simone. If you can, help give her family some peace before they see her like this." The man requests softly.
"I… I don't have all the answers you're looking for. Last I saw her… she was dead." Simone says.
"Are you sure?" The man presses.
The redhead opens her mouth to simply say 'Without a doubt.', but different words pour out instead.
"I was the one who killed her." She confesses, tears rolling down her face.
Not quite expecting that, the old man leans back in his seat.
"That’s why the Union is after ya?" He asks.
Nodding, Simone fights the urge to bury her face in her arms on the table.
"She… she got involved in a cult. A bad one. Sam was going to kill a lot of innocent people… I didn't have a choice." She explains.
"I'm gonna need a bit more to work with. What cult?"
"I don't know if the whole thing has an actual name. But a branch of it is called the 'Children Of Gaia'. They… kidnapped me for a while. You know the two green goblin-looking people I'm with? Their homeworld was attacked by them, although the narrative for the public is calling them 'pirates' or some bull like that." Simone entails.
"What can you tell me about this cult?" The man inquires, surprisingly lacking any sort of skepticism.
"The Gaia fucks are obsessed with starting Terran society over on a new Earth-like planet. Like full on stone-age bullcrap. As for the other parts… I'm still figuring that out. But… I know my mother is heavily involved… in what way? No clue yet."
"I see… and the rest of the crew that you're with-" the man starts before getting cut off.
"Are not a part of this discussion." Simone firmly states.
"Fair enough…" the man grumbles before rubbing his temple, "Do you believe this cult is willing to retrieve their asset?"
"It's possible." Simone guesses, "A Union Admiral named Harkon is involved, if not the head of the fuck'n snake."
The old man releases a drawn troubled sigh.
“Great… Well, regardless I still have a big problem on my hands. I’ve got the faintest idea of what to do with her. We may have to keep her locked down until… I don’t know, we have some qualified people talk’n to her. Right now she’s being… dismantled so that she doesn’t pose a physical threat to anyone.”
“Would it be possible… for me to talk to her? Before I leave?”” Simone requests softly.
“Hm… I’m not sure being in the same room as her own killer will be beneficial.” he points out skeptically.
“She was going to kill a lot of innocent people if I… didn’t do what I did. I know you only have my word on that, but it’s true. She changed who she was way before then. Sam was a good soldier. I just want- I need to know why. Why did she compromise who she was? When did it happen? Who brainwashed her? Why did I have to kill her?” Simone pleads.
“I empathize, I really do. I’m just not sure if that’s a good idea. Besides, she doesn’t seem to be able to speak.” The man responds genuinely.
“Do you actually believe what I’m saying?” Simone asks.
The old man stares at her with unwavering eyes.
“I’m choosing to.” is all he answers with.
Not sure why he is, Simone gives him a dead serious stare, showing nothing but gravity to her following words.
“I know things… things that could erupt chaos not only within the Union, but the entire galaxy as a whole. I would give you every little detail, but trust me… you won’t choose to believe me if I did. It’s insane shit. And I don’t want to paint targets here. I want answers from her, for personal reasons and for reasons far bigger than me or anyone. Please. Ten minutes at most. I don’t even need to be close.”
The man doesn’t break his gaze, taking the redhead in.
“When they are done with disassembling, you will have those ten minutes. But after that, I think it’s best you leave.” he grants before standing up and walking past Simone.
“I- thank you. I’m sorry, I remember seeing you back when I was really little… but I don’t remember your name.” she says, a bit embarrassed.
The man laughs at that, more amused than anything.
“Fair I suppose. Name’s Hyun Seo-Jun. Back then, I was just the security chief. Attended your ol’ man’s gym in fact. Now, they propped me as governor of this rock. Tell ya what, go save the galaxy like some space-McClane, and when you come back meet me at the office. Then you can fill me in on all the insanity. Deal?”
Simone stands up with an appreciative smile.
“Yippee-ki-yay…”
-
Being escorted, the redhead is brought into the largest hospital the colony has to offer. Though not nearly as advanced as what Union highworlds may have, it’s still impressive in medical technology that is mainly used for those who suffer accidents in the mines.
She is led into the more critical section, which is deeper in and -more importantly in this particular case- far more secure.
She is stopped at a quarantine room that requires a lead physician’s scan to enter. Being granted this, Simone is allowed to enter alone. Unarmed, and dressed in provided thin simple clothing. Though trusted by the governor himself, she accepted all security measures in order to get this ‘private talk’. It’s really left to trust whether or not everything’s being recorded, but this meeting has to happen regardless.
Simone immediately sees a horizontal transparent pod in the center of the space. Within is a sight that was only reserved for horror fiction. She swallows hard, amping herself to move up to it. It’s far more difficult to cover up her absolute fear now that she’s here. Yet with the limited amount of time given, she is forced to press on.
Approaching the pod, the first thing that catches her eye is the face of the woman she once loved, attached to what is little more than a flexible metallic core covering what was no doubt a spine. No shoulders, arms, or legs… Just… something that drowns out Simone’s fear with a deep sadness. To think that this is the same person… Simone shakes her head and reaches out.
Tapping on the case of the pod, she nearly jumps when Sam’s eyes immediately open, already staring the will of Death into her.
The redhead’s voice catches, as she’s unable to look away.
“H-hi sam…” she utters before pulling up a chair, “What did they do to you?”
Sam’s eye twitches, before she opens her mouth. There is no voice, as expected. But she mouths the words clearly enough.
‘You, did this.’ Sam states.
Immense guilt is first to strike Simone’s heart, but along with the clenching of her fists a burning anger erupts through it.
“No. I didn’t. You betrayed what it meant to a soldier. You betrayed our people by siding with fanatics. I stopped your madness before you murdered hundreds of innocent lives! You have no fucking right to judge me for what I did, because you did this to yourself! You were the monster, and I want to know why!” Simone pressed an open hand on the pod, “What happened to the woman I grew up with? Who twisted someone who was the sweetest fuckin’ nerd I’ve ever known!? Sam was someone who cried at the end of The Return of the King every damn time we watched it for crying out loud! She reread The Last Unicorn a billion fucking times and would talk about it nonstop. She… she valued people’s lives, Sam. She wasn’t a murderer! We had plans for the future… we… we had a future!” Simone has to restrain herself from shouting, her open hand curling into a fist.
The cyborg’s eyes blinks and looks away in a dismissive manner.
‘You’re pathetic.’ she mouths, ‘That was all a dream. Our people’s future comes first.’
Hurt more than she expected, Simone sits back.
“I loved you, you know. I’m sorry I never said it out loud. Maybe if I noticed that look in your eye sooner… or maybe if I didn’t dismiss it as just mere war fatigue. I could’ve saved you from this cult bullshit.”
‘Shut up. It’s far more than that.’
“What? Does it have to do with these… Manarians?” Simone scoffed in a shrug.
This catches Sam’s immediate attention.
‘You knew!? Manarians, you knew!?’
“Nope. It was just recently after being yoinked up by the ‘Children of Gaia’. Escaped them, a lot of ‘em died in the process. But I came out of it with a bit more brain matter that’s not mine.” Simone informs dryly, “Are they still out there?”
Sam shallowly nods.
“Then how does any of that needless shit help stop them?” Simone asks.
Sam’s eyes widen, then narrow.
‘Stop? No. Prepare.’
“What’s the fuck’n difference?”
The cyborg’s expression almost resembles pity.
‘Powerful. Very powerful. Terrans must join them, or we all die.’
Hoping against hope that Sam would confirm such, Simone plants her face into her hands.
“They would enslave us Sam… Nothing more than disposable tools. I’ve seen it.” she says, peeking up past her fingers.
‘Better than extinction.’
Simone hits a fist against the pod, enraged.
“How can you say that!? After everything our people have already been through!? You’d have us betray every other species? For what? To exist as monsters!?”
‘You don’t understand. We can’t win. Galaxy won’t win. It will fall. We won’t live to see it. But we can give our people a future.’ Sam’s expression is resolute.
“At what cost?” Simone says in a drained voice, “At what point do we value everyone else over ourselves?”
‘They reject us. You know this. We stand alone, always will. Manarians claimed stars long ago. They claimed us.’
On the verge of walking out then and there, Simone stands up shaking her head.
“What does my mother have to do with any of this? She’s still alive isn’t she?”
Sam’s face grows deadpan.
‘She is with them.’ the cyborg answers.
“Where?”
‘Don’t know.’
“Okay… then why did you come here? To kill me? Kill the Cali? Both?” Simone inquires, becoming more conscious of the passage of time.
‘Both.’ Sam confirms.
“So the Cali king is in this cult too?”
Sam silently laughs and shakes her head.
‘No. But knows of Manarians. Goals not known. Doesn’t matter.’
“You’re really forthcoming with all this. Especially since you just tried to kill me.” Simone counters skeptically, “What do you want?”
Sam’s face becomes serious in an instant.
‘It doesn’t matter. It’s over. My use is done.’
“Don’t lie to me Sam. You want something from me.” Simone responds as she crosses her arms.
The cyborg maintains a steady gaze for a short while.
‘Kill me.’
The redhead feels as though her heart is skewered in every direction, she even reflexively clutches her chest. All the terrible memories come flooding back, what she was forced to do.
“No.” she stammers on the brink of tears.
‘You did it before. Do it.’
“No! You fucking piece of absolute shit! You don’t get to do that to me! Not again!” Simone shouts, pointing at the remains of a person accusatory, “Do you have any idea of the hell you put me through!? Because of you and the fucking people you chose to be with I was forced to kill our friends! Our family! Not only did you break my heart, but my fucking soul! My goddamn head has been so fucked up because of you! I LOVED YOU!!! AND YOU THREW EVERYTHING AWAY, AND DAMAGED ME MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER POSSIBLY IMAGINE!!!” her voice breaks after the final roar that shakes the clear casing.
Sobs starting to get out of control, Simone turns around and clutches the base of her hair. She can see someone waiting for her just outside, to tell her that time is running short. She wants to step out early, to leave this behind her. But in this moment, her anger compels her to look back at the cyborg. Who returns a tired stare.
‘Help me.’
Simone positions her face as close as she can to Sam’s.
“I’ve helped a lot of people. But I don’t help monsters. No… I’m not going to help you. I’m going to punish you, and it’s going to put you in your very own hell.” she informs darkly.
Unease grows within the cyborg’s expression.
“You’re going to hurt with every second of your existence. And I don’t even have to lay a finger on you. Nope. The best part is, you brought it on yourself and I’m going to do nothing to stop it. You family will be notified, they will learn that their dear Sam became a murderer, terrorist and monster. You will live to see the pain in their eyes, the despair in their voices and the love they have for you be torn to shreds. They will hurt because of you and you will all know it’s your fault. You get to watch it all, you pathetic worm.” Simone states with a vengeance-fueled rasp.
Sam’s eyes are wide open now, having not expected this.
‘Kill me. Please, kill me. They don’t deserve that.’
Simone stands straight up, glaring down in disgust.
“Exactly. Goodbye, Sam. I hope you live a long life.”
The Terran turns to leave before she can see Sam silently scream in plea. She can hear the jostling of the helpless cyborg, but she dares to not look back. Sam was right about one thing. It’s over.
-
“Thanks for the warm welcome Jackie. Is Donna okay?” Simone asks as the Kwip-chap is preparing for departure.
“A bit shaken. But yeah.” the usually cheery man replies, unsure of how to feel, “Did… did you spare me from what happened to Sam earlier?” he asks hesitantly.
‘In a way. Jackie… do you really want to know?” Simone said in a worn out voice.
“No… But I think I need to.” he responds earnestly.
“The Sam we knew as kids? Dead. She no longer exists. That… thing… is a mass murderer. Twisted beyond repair. One I had to put down, with my own hands. Twice now.” the redhead bluntly replies, “I didn't tell you because… it would’ve just been my word. Still kinda is, but that’s fine. She got involved with the worst kind of people, and became them. Even now I’m working to stop those fucks, and keep another Sam from happening.”
Jackie scratches at his scruff, looking to the floor as he processes all that. He opens his mouth to speak, but what can someone say to that? Instead he makes an internal decision and brings the redhead in for a tight hug.
“Thanks Jackie…” Simone softly says in relief.
The two hold this embrace for a solid minute before saying another word.
“Promise to take care of yourself, alright? Come back in one piece for your wedding. Both of you.” he whispers.
“Promise.”
“Good. People can change in the worst of ways, and you have changed a lot. But you’re still you. And you will always be welcome here.” Jackie assures as he holds Simone’s shoulders at arm’s length.
The redhead’s smile curls to fight back the urge to cry again.
“Right.”
“Still an ugly crier too.” the man chuckles before slapping his hands down, “Get outta here, and kick some ass for the rest of us. We all can’t be daring space cowboys.”
“Not with that attitude.” Simone jests before turning towards the ramp, “Till next time bud. Hopefully Donna has all she needs.” she farewells.
“Oh! Wait! Shit, hold on!” Jackie calls out as she digs his hand into his work satchel, and pulls out a rectangular object that’s wrapped in brown butcher paper, “An early wedding present!” he notifies cheerily before holding it out.
Simone accepts it curiously, and gives the man a final appreciative nod before continuing to walk up the ramp. She stops at the top and turns around to wave her friend goodbye.
“You got this Thatch!” Jackie shouts through cupped hands right before the door fully seals.
Looking down at the present, Simone tears the side free and pulls out what lies within. It’s a framed picture. There’s a smiling little girl with wild red hair. She holds a baseball bat up on her shoulder trying to look ‘cool’ but failing hilariously. On her shoulder is a massive hand attached to a hunching man. His eyes are half closed in a blink frozen in a moment of time, but his big goofy smile more than makes up for it. They are sitting in their usual seats in Ted’s Shack, celebrating a victory in a juvenile kids game that meant nothing. Yet, it meant everything back then. Just like how it means everything right here and now.
There’s no going back to that time, where the galaxy was so much smaller and time didn’t go by so fast. But it happened, it was real.
Simone holds the frame to her chest, thanking the universe for having had moments like that. The bright spots that no one will take away. No matter how hard they try. She will always have this.
“Simone?” A cali’s voice says from behind her.
Sniffing, the Terran turns around to see Chak with her arm in a sling.
“Hey Bo Peep. How’re feelin’? Sorry I couldn’t get to you faster.” she states.
“Oh… It hurts a little, but my autosurgeon says I got really lucky! No permanent damage! And don’t worry, you still saved me!”
“And you saved me.” Simone replies meaning more than the recent fight, “You’re training is really paying off! Oh uhm… is Essjay okay too? Poor thing.”
“Unharmed! They were a bit scared after all that, but they have calmed down. I’m sure they’d love to see you!” Chak updates, reaching a hand for Simone’s.
“They are tough lil’ buggers. I would know.” Simone jokes as she taps her thumb on the newly acquired picture, “Uhm… Once we’re in FTL, I want everyone to meet on the bridge.”
-
“Lovely idea! Hahaha!” Chucknuq agrees as he swivels his pilot’s chair to face the propped-up Lens, perilously on top of a crate and kitchen cookware. Seven overlooks it, double-checking to make sure they have a direct connection to it.
“Are you certain that’s balanced alright Seven?” Vin asks as he maneuvers to the front.
The bot nods their cranium as they hover back over from their tower.
“According to my calculations, it is at the most-ost optimal angle.” they respond before looking down the walkway, “Apologies Dave, this is the best-est way to get us all involved.”
“Like, not sure if I count as a crewmember anyway bruh. But I ain’t gonna be a drag. I’m totally freak’n down to be artificially honored my dudes!” the autosurgeon replies as he extends half his spherical apparatus out the medbay door.
“Gratt do photo too! Share tradition!” Meeki excitedly remarks as she and Nodrin lay down in front of the group in a tussle pile.
“Yes. Much fun!” Nodrin agrees.
“This was a wonderful idea Simone!” Chak chirps while gently bouncing.
Simone wraps her arm around her fiance’s side and carefully brings her close, minding the slinged arm. A bit oblivious to what’s happening, Essjay skitters around their Terran mother’s torso and up to the side of her neck, pressing their head into her chin.
“I get them every now and then.” the Terran chuckles as everyone prepares for the shot.
“Say ‘Grilled Cheese’!” Seven annonces.
Everyone does, unsure as to why that particular step is necessary. But Simone doesn’t. She instead whispers something into the Cali’s long ear, something she should have said a long time ago, but for some reason could ever bring herself to speak aloud.
“I love you.”
-
The Terran sets the two photos up on her shelf. The newer of the two thankfully not obscured by the intense flash of the Cali’s eyes.
In her offhand is the datapad containing Denver’s journals and contacts. She’s about to skim through it, but she stares at the pictures for a few moments longer.
There. Now no matter what happens in the future, what she has right now can never be taken from her. This happened, and it will forever remain a bright spot in her heart. More hardship may be coming, it’s hard to argue that it won’t. But it will never compare to these moments captured. It’s also proof that she’s not just surviving anymore. She’s living. The greatest victory against everything and everyone that tried to knock her down.
Beware universe, Simone Thatch is ready.