War Machine: The Memoirs of a Synthetic Marine

Episode 42

Do AIs Recognize Sarcasm?

For some reason, having the wizard on my team felt like a win. It gave me a boost in confidence. And with an AI on my side, I felt like I had a chance against Command’s treachery. Kind of like fighting fire with fire.

The wizard interrupted my musings, “It is time to take action.” I eagerly agreed, even though I wasn’t sure what I was agreeing to.

“First, we need to transition you to your new profile. Command will be looking for non-compliant UCCs, so we must hurry.” It extended one of its talonlike hands towards me, but I hesitated to grasp it.

Sensing my reluctance, the wizard explained, “I have to perform a scan and ensure there is no malicious code still lingering in you. Command could have installed a spy program. And if that is the case, it could jeopardize my security and compromise the unofficial UCC infrastructure.”

Connecting to the wizard and letting it snoop around in my mind, looking for illicit code, seemed like a much more invasive process than reloading my memories. The ick factor was off the charts.

“Can’t we just run some kind of search utility?” Something told me that it wouldn’t be that easy.

“In addition to searching for a spy program, I’ll need to install a Loop Code Alias to hide your true identity from Command, so that’s not an option.” Things were starting to get complicated, as they always did whenever the wizard was involved.

“And what is a loop code?”

“A Loop Code Alias. It’s an AI that essentially serves as your double in the official USMC world. It faces MIL-net as J. McCann and communicates with Command on your behalf. It coexists with you, in your consciousness and acts as a firewall to keep all of your thoughts and communications secret.

Whenever Command attempts to interrogate you, they will be ‘looped’ back to the J. McCann ghost profile to interact with the AI. To Command, you will appear as a Marine who obediently follows orders. But for all practical purposes, you are G. Bravo, the recently reactivated leader of 6th squad.”

It was clear that Command didn’t have a monopoly on deception here in troopship land. I wondered how the wizard kept track of the truth, amid all the lies.

“Once the Loop Code Alias is installed, you will be able to think, and say whatever you like with complete impunity.”

Complete impunity sounded good but sharing my consciousness with an AI seemed awkward at best. “Isn’t it going to be crowded with an AI in my consciousness?”

“The Loop Code Alias requires minimal RAM. It’s designed not to interact with you at all. There will be a nominal reduction in your processor speed, however, you won’t notice the AI itself.”

Even though I wasn’t too excited about sharing my mind with a roommate, I couldn’t see any alternative. Hoping that the wizard would prove worthy of my trust, I ignored my doubts and grabbed its hand. We were instantly connected. However, this time, instead of data flowing into my directories, I felt the wizard’s presence. It was uncomfortable to say the least.

Methodically moving from directory to directory, it paused briefly at each one. I assumed it was performing some kind of scan, but I wasn’t sure. When it got to the directory which had previously held the two encrypted mystery files, it seemed to linger. I wondered what had caught its attention since the files were now empty. After a protracted inspection, it finally moved on.

Upon completing what seemed like a thorough investigation, the wizard retreated, and I began to feel data flowing into my drive. I reasoned this was the loop alias program it had mentioned. My HUD rebooted and I soon saw a new profile pop up. G. Bravo, USMC. I felt like a proper ghost.

Then the wizard exited my consciousness and presented as its avatar to my virtual sensors. I was relieved to be free of the wizard’s digital scrutiny.

“Why did you not inform me that you were equipped with a propositional logic system?”

The wizard’s question caught me totally flatfooted. I hadn’t thought about my unique capability since learning that my reality was an elaborate fabrication. From the wizard’s perspective, I must seem like the worst kind of partner, a liar.

“Look, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know whether I could trust you and I thought all UCCs could calculate probabilities. It wasn’t until your explanation that I learned it was propositional logic. Now that we’re partners, I’ll be sure to share everything with you.” I hoped my earnest confession would smooth over our obvious trust issues.

“While we’re on the topic of sharing, is there anything else you wish to inform me about?”

Now seemed as good a time as any to come clean about the encrypted files that I had discovered after my maintenance restart. “Yeah. There were some encrypted files. When I was infected, they were cleaned out along with everything else. I don’t know what was in them, but I thought I should mention it.”

“Yes. They appear to have been planted by Command. One contained software which disabled your security protections. The other held a scraper program that harvested all of your internal data.”

“How can you know that?”

“A directory temporarily retains traces of its stored data even after it’s been deleted. They are like digital fingerprints. These bits and pieces of residual data can be used to identify what type of program was being stored. That is the case here.”

“So, the virus wasn’t in the text from Command that I downloaded?”

“No. What you downloaded was a trigger program which activated the viruses already stored in your drive.”

It was clear that I had underestimated Command’s capabilities and the measures they were willing to take to control their UCCs. I was curious to find out what the wizard planned to do about it. “Okay, what do we do now?

“Your identity has been effectively camouflaged, so you can now operate in the official USMC environment with relative anonymity.

It is critical to understand how the recent updates have affected the other UCCs, and what role Command has planned for them. Equally important is learning what tactical changes will be employed in combat with the transition from UCCs to mostly AI bots.

There will undoubtedly be training in Command’s new war strategy with both AI bots and the updated UCCs. You should participate in the training. I have installed a replicator program in your CPU so everything you experience will be automatically recorded and transmitted to the ghost profile for analysis.

All you will have to do is avoid detection and auto-destruction by Command.”

“Oh, is that all?”, I said in mock surprise.

“Yes. It’s very simple.” It seemed my sarcasm was completely lost on the wizard.

Not wanting to dwell on the absurdity of my unequal partnership with an AI, I opened my HUD and exited back to my control module. Upon completing the transition, I realized that I was now residing in G. Bravo’s module, in an entirely new location in the charging grid.

The unfamiliar space felt foreign. Kind of like entering some else’s house for the first time. It would take a while for me to get comfortable.

As I poked around investigating the strangeness, I couldn’t help but feel like it was my first day in a newly rented apartment. But instead of noticing chipped tiles in the bathroom, or scuff marks on a well-worn kitchen floor, I was seeing fragments of previously stored data.

My reflections about the similarity of the digital and the physical worlds were abruptly interrupted by a text from Command. It read, “Report to the combat simulator immediately.”

It seemed my new role in troopship land was about to begin. The only question was whether that role was as an agent for truth and justice, or as a naïve snitch, selling out Command and my fellow Marines to the wizard.

The fact that the wizard was an illegal AI operating in an unauthorized environment strongly suggested the latter.