War Machine: The Memoirs of a Synthetic Marine

Episode 28: Then Things Got a Lot Weirder



Episode 28

Then Things Got a Lot Weirder

“Hey, how long does it take before I start … uh … feeling it?”

“Soon enough man. Just relax.”

I looked around for Lucy and some reassurance but found that he had disappeared into the mass of anonymous partyers.

I tried to relax, but now that I had irrevocably launched myself on the path to intoxication, I was starting to have second thoughts. What if I have a bad trip or something? Could I have flashbacks later? Suddenly, I felt like I should have asked a lot more questions before committing to this.

That’s when I noticed that the scene before me had taken on an almost imperceptible greenish tint. I knew consciously that it was just a random modification of the input signals I was receiving, but still, I was getting concerned. To no one in particular, I asked, “Hey, does everything look kinda green to you?”

My question prompted some laughter, but nothing more. I was starting to feel isolated in my slightly altered state of consciousness. However, I reasoned that if things didn’t get much weirder, I would be okay.

But then things got a lot weirder.

“Hey, who’s that over there?!”, someone asked, pointing over my shoulder.

“Who are you talking about?” Someone else replied.

“Over there. The hot girl, standing next to those two warrior princesses.” I could only imagine what kind of avatar ogling was going on behind me.

Chef spoke, “What, you don’t recognize her? That’s Cherri. She’s Outline’s girlfriend.” He looked over at me and furrowed his brow. “You guys are still together, right?” I just stared at him as my mind drifted in neutral. With no memories of her, the idea of Cherri being my girlfriend was far too abstract for me to grasp. After all, she was famous, and I was anything but.

Then I heard someone ask, “Do you mean sex-bot Cherri?”, which reminded me of why she was so famous. I wondered how many of the Marines sitting on the couch with me had engaged in virtual sex with my ‘girlfriend’. Probably all of them.

“No way! I have to meet her!”

“Dude, I feel like I already know her.” This comment prompted howls from the group.

“Hey Outline, bring her over here.”

Paralyzed by indecision, I watched events unfolding around me as I tried to figure out an appropriate response to such an inappropriate situation.

Chef applied more pressure.” Come on man! We all want to meet her.” Then he added, “In person.” More howls and laughter.

Instead of responding, I suddenly levitated off the couch into a standing position without having made a conscious decision to do so. It appeared the 50/50 was really starting to kick in. To add to this physics defying feat, I noticed my feet didn’t quite reach the floor. I prayed I wasn’t going to attempt to lure Cherri over here to meet these guys, in my condition.

Completely under the influence and hovering an inch above the floor, my feet involuntarily attempted the journey across the crowded room but couldn’t gain any traction. Chef, laughing loudly, reached over and pulled me down by my arm until I made contact.

Beginning my trek to where Cherri was talking with the two warrior princesses, I found progress difficult. Not only did I have to navigate the dense mass of party goers, but I was also struggling to coordinate my limbs. I felt like I was trying to move someone else’s body, and it was rebelling.

Suddenly I dropped down onto the floor and began involuntarily writhing my digital body like a snake. I cringed inside as I imagined what Cherri, and everyone else, must be thinking. However, I did begin to make good headway across the floor. The forest of legs seemed to magically part before me, as I slithered over the floor. Surprised shouts and an occasional shriek suggested my progress was due, at least in part, to the shock of my brushing up against them as I wriggled past.

Finally reaching the far wall, I elevated into a roughly upright position between Cherri and her friends and namaste’d a greeting. Feeling a little woozy, I placed a hand against the wall to steady myself, adding a pronounced lean to my pose. There was an uncomfortable silence as Cherri and the princesses stared at me, mortified.

Turning to the princesses, I realized for the first time that they were identical twins. Every detail, down to the individual curls in their long dark tresses, was exactly the same. Unwisely attempting a dialog, I predictably stuck my foot in my mouth. “Are you two real?”

When they continued staring in silence, I attempted to clarify. “What I meant was, are you two real? not, are you too real?” As the silence persisted, I could see that further explanation was necessary. Here’s where things got complicated.

“I know it’s easy to confuse two and too, because phonetically, they sound identical but are spelled differently. So, I wasn’t implying that you were, somehow, more real than is appropriate.”

Holy fuck! I felt like a hostage in my own body. I desperately tried to stop myself, but in my 50/50’d state, I was just along for the ride and unfortunately, I was just getting rolling.

I continued pontificating. “And when I refer to real, what I mean is, real in a relative sense. As in, relative to our current state, which is not strictly ‘real’, but a digital construct mimicking a physical reality. So, it’s more of a …”

I was suddenly silenced by a powerful blow to the side of my face, closely followed by another equally powerful impact to the other side.

Getting slapped was surprisingly painful, considering this was a digital construct. Getting slapped twice, in quick succession by two digital warrior princesses got my attention and thankfully, stopped my pontificating dead in its tracks.

As I rubbed my avatar’s burning cheeks, the twins turned to Cherri and spoke in perfect harmony. “We’ll be around if you need us.” Their synchronized voices suggested that they were identical in more than just appearance.

They departed, leaving Cherri and I to fumble our way through what promised to be a difficult conversation.

Not only was I intoxicated and unable to control my behavior, but we were seeing each other for the first time since I had lost all my memories of … us.

Cherri crossed her arms and frowned. “Well, I see you’ve taken something mind altering.”

“My mind … has definitely changed.” I said, nodding like that made any sense.

“What did you take? I hope it’s not that nasty 50/50 crap that’s been going around.”

I shrugged and uttered, “I’m a peripheral visionary.” I had clearly hit rock bottom.

Now there was genuine concern in her voice. “Oh shit. You are seriously high, aren’t you?” Too incoherent to respond and too embarrassed to meet her gaze, I simply closed my eyes and slumped against the wall.

Grabbing my hand, she said, “Listen, I just sent you something. Download it and you’ll start feeling better soon.” Having totally humiliated myself just as Lucy had warned, I was now desperate to feel normal again. Or at least a little less abnormal.

It took me few tries to open the link, but eventually I managed to connect and download what she’d sent me. The green tint that colored my vision cleared almost immediately. I began to feel marginally more connected with reality.

Even though I had no prior memories of her, Cherri’s concern for my wellbeing spoke volumes about her character. She seemed a caring person. I was starting to understand how someone like her could get involved with someone like me. She had a big heart.

I attempted to verbalize how grateful I was for her help but couldn’t quite manage it. My words came out incomprehensibly garbled.

Holding up her hands, she said, “Hold on. Just give it a few minutes.” I responded with a thumbs up.

After a couple of minutes, I was able to stammer out a simple, “Thank you.” It was inadequate but it was all I could manage.

A hint of a smile began forming on her avatar’s lips. “Seems like you’re feeling a little better. Am I right?” I was so mesmerized by her emerging smile; I didn’t even hear the question.

Before her smile could fully blossom, it abruptly faded, and her eyebrows creased. “Are you staring at me?”

Now sober enough to be embarrassed by my behavior once again, I attempted to cover. “Oh shit. Sorry. No, I was just …” I struggled to find a term to gloss over my social misdemeanor.

“Just being creepy?” That pretty much hit the nail on the head, but I was too stubborn to admit it.

“… just looking inward. Focused on cleaning up some files. I think the 50/50 corrupted some stuff.” If I hadn’t made such a jackass of myself earlier, I could almost believe I was in the process of salvaging my reputation. However, she gave me a look suggesting that she saw right through my BS.

Clumsily switching topics, I asked, “What did you give me?”

“It was an updated anti-virus for 50/50, courtesy of My Wizard. I assumed that was what you had taken.”

Cherri decided that my reckless behavior had earned me a lecture. “You really need to be more careful. Street drugs are constantly being tweeked to maintain their potency, so they’re always ahead of the antiviruses developed by the AIs. Regular users of 50/50 build up an immunity to it, but first-time users frequently have an adverse reaction. Just like you. I guess your friends didn’t warn you about that.”

It seemed that My Wizard was profiting from both sides of the street drug scene. Even if he gave away the drug, he was probably still making money by selling the antidote to it.

As for my ‘friends’, I explained, “Well, they aren’t really my friends. I just met them in the simulator.”

“Well, they’re definitely not your friends. And I’d think twice before hanging out with them again.”

That seemed a little harsh. “The guys in Chef’s squad are okay. They just like to party.”

“Chef’s squad?! Well, that explains everything. Those guys are notorious stoners. They’re nothing but trouble.” I thought back to Lucy’s comment about Chef’s squad being ‘a pretty rough crew.’ Apparently, they had a reputation.

Cherri abruptly changed the topic. “You and I have a lot to talk about. Let’s go somewhere private.”

As much as I had wanted to avoid any unpleasantness and just enjoy myself tonight, she was right. We did have a lot to talk about. And she had been waiting for 3 months for some answers. I owed her that much, and more.


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