LIGHTNOVELONLINE Part 29 - You Filthy Yandere
“‘Eyyy, Night Seizers!” Norman grinned. “I’m back.”
The chat lit up.
__CHAT
INQU!SIT_R: YOU’RE ALIVE!?!
HARD-BACK-M8N: HE BACK!
UNREPENTANT-MEMER: THE GOAT IS BACK! I REPEAT, THE GOAT IS BACK!
AMBIVALENT_TRENT: feels like it’s been weeks …
THOMAS_SANT0S: NORMAN, WHY ARE YOU STILL BREATHING?!?!?!?
LAFF_IT_ON: why wonna soun so disappointed?
UNREPENTANT-MEMER: PLOT ARMOUR GO BRRRRRRR!
INQU!SIT_R: what’s that energy ball floating beside you? Looks Amy-like …
SMOL_STUPSE: Probably a mini avatar or sein.
INQU!SIT_R: sooo … Amy Mini?
N-TROPEY: Settled. Amy Mini is canon now. If anyone disagrees, meet me behind The Standpipe for a knuckle-chat.
ARN74: NORMAN! YOU SURVIVED, YOU GLORIOUS IDIOT!!! 🎉 🎉 🎉 LEMMY, YOU OWE ME YOUR HEAD!
LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: That’s a weird way to pronounce $50 🤔.
ARN74: YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID! I’M COMING TO COLLECT! DON’T YOU DARE STRUGGLE!
Norman rummaged through his backpack. He felt the bulge of an orb in a hidden compartment. It’s nerve-tingling power reached back to him. John Crow hadn’t confiscated his heirloom. That was a little surprising, but it had a tendency to hide itself if need be.
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LIKKLE-BOY: I CAN SEE THE FIGHT FROM MY HOUSE!
A1GHT_DEN: IT’S ALL OVER THE NEWS!
MUNSTER-VERSER: THE FOOTAGE IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE! NORMAN, I NEED THAT FIRST PERSON POV AND I NEED IT NOW!!!
Norman stepped up to the window. The outside world looked like a murky, black sea with particles racing beneath the surface.
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INQU!SIT_R: …… what are we looking at exactly?
NORMAN: If I had to guess, it’s some kind of shield made by the Dread A.M.E., surrounded by brainflies.
INQU!SIT_R: was that seriously just a guess?
Norman sent a drone through the shattered window. It pressed through the murky layer, into the swirling specks that were indeed brainflies. The feed flickered as the brainflies nibbled bits of its electronic power. Once through, the drone sent back an unforgettable eyeful.
Blasts of dim bomb poured down upon an Allmart, decimating it. From the creamy clouds rose the scarlet star that was Amy, hauling a peeping building’s tentacle bedecked with flash ash blades. She whirled it towards the eyescraper.
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WONNA_ONE23: YOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! IT’S GOING DOWN!
UNREPENTANT-MEMER: RULES OF NATURE!!!
MUNSTER-VERSER: 🤤 That’s the stuff.
The building shuddered and rocked. John Crow’s tentacles were scrambling to deflect her multi-storey death whip. Norman felt the impact in his bones. They deflected her.
Barely.
Blades of flash ash screamed against concrete. If anyone wondered what it sounded like when eldritch blades clipped a skyscraper, now they knew. The upper corner of the building came hurtling down. With a quick hand gesture to his nightsight’s AR controls, Norman guided his drone out of the way. It spun as the chunk of building plummeted by, righting itself just in time to see Amy’s avatar take a dim bomb. It broke her grip. Her weaponised tentacle flew into a building, tearing it in half. Again, flash ash screamed against concrete. This time, it was deafening. The cityscape shook with the impact. The screen cracked as the shockwave reached the drone. It whirled out of the air and the feed went black, returning to Norman’s point of view.
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HARD-BACK-M8N: I FELT THAT FROM MY PLACE! IT WOKE UP MY WIFE!
HARD-BACK-W1FE: i subscribed and I live here now
MUNSTER-VERSER: THIS IS HAPPENING. THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. WEFJFKSJIFGNOFHSOFD 😭😭😭 I LOVE THIS CITY! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! IF IT WERE A MAN, I’D MARRY IT!!!
BAJANETTE11: is Amy okay, doh?
ATTACK-OTAKU: If the waifu is dead, I’m gonna jump everyone in the chat and then myself.
ENTO_MOLLY: Amy’s avatar is just a tiny part of her biomass. She’s fine.
INQU!SIT_R: why’s the camera moving from side to side?
MATHLET3: I think Norman’s shaking his head in an irritated manner.
INQU!SIT_R: why?
ARN74: 🤦🏻♀️ idiots. put yourselves in Norman’s shoes for a minute. this night is literally taking forever. the bad guy of the week refuses to get lol-stomped into meat paste. Amy’s probably not having a great time. he’s torn between the desire to bust some skulls and seek the sweet embrace of his bed.
LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: Wait, wait, wait … ARN74, are you secretly an empathetic person?
ARN74: …
ARN74: when Norman called you a cash cow, I didn’t think he meant it literally
LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: 🤨
ARN74: i like your body type, tho. it’s a juicy combo of buff and fat. looks beefy 😛🍽
LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: Moo moo, you filthy yandere. 🐮😎
Norman’s nightsight caught a distant flash through the undulating murk.
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LIKKLE-BOY: I SAW THAT FROM MY HOUSE TOO!
HARD-BACK-M8N: did … he just blow she up?
ARN74: YOU JERK!!!!!!! THAT HURT!!!!! 😡😡😡
LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: She’s still alive? Norman, your nova bomb had one job. I want my money back.
NORMAN: There’s nothing to say she was within range.
ARN74: DON’T TALK ABOUT ME LIKE I’M A SOME STUPID CASE STUDY! IT HURTSSSS! I WAS JUST TRYING TO SCARE YOU, AND NOW I’M DYING!
LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: … Are you really dying?
ARN74: WHAT DO YOU THINK!?! I’M A NYCTAL! YOU NOVA BOMBED ME IN THE FACE AND NOW I’M DYING!
LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: 🤨🙄 Alright. Come inside. I’ll patch you up.
ARN74: 😐 … wut?
LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: If you really were just messing with me, I’d rather you don’t die for such a stupid reason. Just come in.
ARN74: YOU MORONIC SLICE OF BEEFCAKE! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I’D FIT IN YOUR HOUSE? YOU CAN’T ‘PATCH ME UP’! MY ANATOMY DON’T WORK LIKE THAT! EVEN IF IT DID, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?!? SLAP A BANDAID ON MY ROASTED PARTICLES?!?!?
LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: What are you, exactly?
ARN74: angry. angry enough to eat off your head if i get too close 😡
LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: You don’t sound like you’re dying.
ARN74: until like five seconds ago, i thought i was. now, i’m just in a lot of pain
LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: I’m sorry.
ARN74: shut up. i’m coming for you for real next time
LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: Really. I’m sorry I tried to kill you in the most spectacular way imaginable.
ARN74: WHAT KIND OF APOLOGY IS THAT?!?!?
DARCIE222: Guys, amusing as your weird little side story is, can we please get back to the meat of things?
Norman felt something behind him.