Wait For Me

Clecia gave the signal to meet while I was trying not to be included in the conversation. I was staring out the window while Forana and Zann went on about trade and weapons.

It was hard to pay attention since they seemed to be going around in circles since we got here. Zann wanted to increase imports from Fera (cloth, leathers, and silk) while not giving much in return (a slight increase in agricultural goods that Fera mostly had access to). It was boring, and I didn’t need to be pulled into it.

Standing at attention as they always did, Corek, Clecia, and Eumen were staring into the distance, looking past me. I almost wanted to make them laugh, or at least break a bit, but I didn’t want to get them in trouble.

As I shifted from resting on my fist to my palm, I saw Clecia’s hand move, almost like a twitch, but I watched her fingers. She wasn’t signing, but it was something we learned while training with Vanli.

Garden. One o’clock. Be careful.

I turned my head away, flipping my hair over my shoulders and sighed. I would be there, keeping myself in the shadows as much as possible. Corek had been telling me more about the guard rotations and position whenever we met to talk at night. I knew them well and wouldn’t have any problems sneaking around anymore. I was more concerned about Enri.

Enri caught my eye but continued to eat. In the past week and a half, she’d gotten better about being in the same room as Forana, but it would never be normal. I hoped that one day, perhaps in the far future, that they would be able to talk to each other as they were meant to.

I was praying that one day it would be better.

My expression of absolute boredom must have been more obvious than usual since I was relinquished from the table as soon as the main courses were over.

As the door to our room closed, Enri signed, “What’d she say?”

“Meet in the garden at one.”

She nodded, sitting on the bed as she took off her shoes. When her hands were free, she signed back. “Something must have happened.”

I sat next to her, wiggling out of my pants. “They’ve been doing supplemental training with the other guards. Maybe they heard something.”

“We’ll have to be careful. Have you memorized the guard rotation?”

“Yeah, and I’ve looked for some blind spots that’ll help us move around. We should be fine, but I’ll keep my feet to the ground.”

Over the last two and a half weeks, I’d gotten better at terra magic, almost always keeping my senses open to know where people were. The only time I didn’t know was when I was practicing wind magic.

We showered quickly and went to sleep. We wanted to get any energy we could. If things went as planned, no one would know what we were up to. But things rarely go according to plan.

Sleep was restless, but I managed to knock out for a while. For the first time in a while, I dreamed of Enrique.

We were walking around the palace, arm in arm, as he went on and on about something. It was dark out, only the moonlight guiding our way through the garden.

“What are you talking about?” I asked. There was something about his voice that made it hard to hear what he was saying. Not like he was far away, but more like he was talking underwater. This wasn’t the first time I’d dreamed of him doing this.

He looked at me, frowning. “You still can’t understand, can you?”

“I’d like to, but I don’t know what you’re saying. What are you trying to tell me?”

He sighed, letting go of my arm. He grabbed me by the shoulders, gripping tight. For the first time since I’d met him, Enrique looked truly heartbroken. “If you’re not ready, I can’t tell you. I want desperately to tell you, Kaiya. I want you to know everything, but if you’re not ready, then you’re not ready. Keep growing. Keep getting stronger. I think soon I might be able to tell you.”

I woke up before I could ask him to clarify.

I stared at the ceiling for a moment, trying to figure out what he meant, but I caught a glimpse of Enri moving silently and tabled it for later. I could think about it after we met with everyone.

The guards would change out soon, the shuffle being enough cover to get to the window. Evada hadn’t thrown me off a cliff yet, but I could manage to get us to the ground without alerting anyone. And if I goofed it, Enri and I were skilled enough to land the fall.

We heard the shuffle of feet and made our exit, keeping the window cracked. Over the last few days, I’d bitched about how creaky the window was since I liked a breeze through the night sometimes and a few guards fixed it. I almost felt bad for having inadvertently made them accomplices, but the show must go on.

I wrapped my arm around Enri’s waist as we stood on the window ledge. She looked over to me and I nodded. We took a breath and stepped out into the air. It took all of my focus to make sure we fell fast enough to get to the ground in time, but slow enough not to grab any attention. It took about a minute to make it to the ground, and I stumbled. Enri caught my arm, steadying me.

“Okay?” she signed.

It took a moment for my head to clear, shifting gears from wind to terra, and I signed back, “Okay.”

We moved slowly around the castle, ducking into crevices and behind bushes, when guards made their way by. There were a few close calls, Enri stepping out of our hiding spot before the guard was out of range. He turned back as I pulled Enri to my chest, digging in my heel. A twig snapped in the direction of his route, and he moved on, searching for the noise.

“Thank you,” she signed.

It took longer than anticipated, but I felt them hidden behind the topiary. The last stretch was an unfortunately open area that had the highest chances of us getting caught. The guards didn’t deviate into the topiary garden as it was easy to get lost or waste time, but they did patrol all entrances and exits.

Enri went first, making a dash as the guard rounded the corner. She disappeared into the garden, stomping twice as she made it to the others. I sighed in relief. This was more stressful than it ought to be, but if we were caught sneaking around a foreign royal’s palace, the implications could be damning.

I went to step out, and suddenly there was a presence. Not a soft presence, but not a hostile one either. Queen Forana rounded the corner, waving off her guards, and she moved toward the topiary garden. I couldn’t let her see everyone, so made noise as I moved forward, sending irises to bloom at their feet. A warning that someone was coming.

“Kaiya,” she said. She looked a little surprised to see me but smiled. “Going for a walk so late at night?”

“I was having trouble sleeping, so I figured a walk would help me burn some energy.” I shrugged. “What’s Her Majesty walking around so late on her lonesome for?”

She laughed and gestured behind her to a figure keeping a respectful distance. “I’m hardly ever alone. Hearing you address me formally doesn’t suit you very well, Kaiya. Forana will do just fine. Why don’t we walk together? I have something I wanted to talk to you about.”

It sounded like a question, but I knew a command when I heard one. I fell in step beside her as we headed to the garden. Both moons were full, lighting our path as we walked.

“She’s different,” Forana said. “My daughter.”

“Well, she’s certainly tougher now than at ten,” I said. It was meant to be a joke, but it was hard to keep my tone light.

Forana shook her head. “I haven’t seen her in person, but I have been keeping an eye on her. Nothing that would invade her privacy, but I worry. It was all I could do when I had to leave her. I mean that in the past few months, she’s different from how she used to be. She was all business and kept everything to herself.” She smiled as she looked at me. “You’ve taken good care of her.”

I blushed, looking to the ground. “Well, it’s only because she did such a good job taking care of me. Without her, I’m sure I wouldn’t have survived.”

“You seem resourceful,” Forana said. “Like you’ve had to survive before. I’m sure you could have done it again.”

“I’ve spent most of my life surviving. I think I could have managed, but I didn’t want someone else to have to bear the burden of what I’m doing. And with Enri, I don’t feel like I’m just surviving. I feel like I’m living, and if I missed out on that opportunity, I don’t know what I would do with myself.”

We rounded a corner, and I sent another wave of irises. Forana looked up at the sky, watching the stars and moons for a while, before she asked, “Do you love her?”

I almost tripped over my feet, roots springing up from the ground. She laughed as I shooed them away.

Do I love Enri? I hadn’t really thought about it. I had let my emotions lead me when it came to her, setting aside the weird situation we found ourselves in. I respected her, admired her, trusted her. I’d never loved anyone outside of my family and couldn’t even say if I loved my friends. I cared about them, wanted the best for them, and would even stick my neck out for them, but love? I reserved that for the permanent fixtures in my life.

I wanted to be by her side and keep her by mine, no matter what. That was selfish, of course. I knew it was selfish, but I wanted so badly for us to be together until we couldn’t stand each other. And more than that, I wanted her to be happy and be the one who made her happy in every regard.

“Yes,” I said. My stomach felt like there was a torrent of butterflies trying to escape, but I knew it was true.

She stopped walking, turning to face me. For the first time since I’d seen her, she didn’t look like an ethereal royal. She looked like a mom, her age showing in her laugh and frown lines. She took my hands in hers and squeezed, almost like a plea, as she said, “Tell me.”

I squeezed her hands right back as I said, “I love Enri.” I felt more confident saying it this time, my thoughts clearing. There wasn’t a doubt that it was true. It was an inevitability from the moment I saw her. “I love her as surely as the sun will rise and moons will set.”

She seemed to be searching my face for something, but I held her gaze. She was shorter than me, shorter than Enri, and felt almost frail, but I knew there was power behind her grip.

Forana smiled, her shoulders relaxing a bit as she hooked her arm in mine, and we began to walk again. “Good. I can’t be there to protect her, but if you’re there with her, I know you’ll be able to do what I can’t.”

“Enri understands why you can’t do anything right now.”

She smiled, her regal mask falling back on like a cloak. “I’m sure she does. She’s always been understanding, but things are changing, Kaiya. Faster than anyone knows. Stay close and keep each other safe.” She tilted her head for a moment before saying, “This is where we part ways. Don’t want to keep your guests waiting.”

“I—” I shut my mouth, knowing there was no point in lying to her. There was no way she wasn’t going to see right through me. I unhooked my arm, giving her a deep, flourished bow. “Be safe on your way back, Your Majesty.”

She chuckled. “Sneak well, Kaiya. And tell Enri I love her dearly.”

Queen Forana walked off, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Enri was going to be like that when she was older.

She rounded the corner out of sight, and I turned to find my friends. They were close, keeping low to the ground. I wanted to spook them, but I knew there was a chance I’d get judo flipped or stabbed. I announced myself with a blooming violet and I heard sighs of relief.

Clecia was the first to come out of hiding, pulling me into a tight hug. “I’m glad you made it safe,” she signed. “When the queen started coming, we weren’t sure if you were going to be alright.”

“Forana is a kind woman,” I signed. “Even if she didn’t want to talk to me, I don’t think she would have called the guards.” If anything, she probably would have warned me about the guard rotation and continued on her walk. “Is it safe to say you all were eavesdropping?”

Eumen blushed to her hairline and looked away. “We wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I smiled. “It’s fine. I’m not pressed about it.” Enri was looking elsewhere, but I could see her fidgeting with her braids. We were going to have to talk later. “What is it you wanted to talk about?”

The mood shifted and Corek shook her head, a look of disgust apparent. Eumen signed, “It’s His Majesty. He plans to assassinate the queen.”

Enri stopped fidgeting, going so still she might as well have been a statue. Corek started to pace and signed. “Stop calling him that. He doesn’t deserve the title.”

My stomach felt like it was turning in slow circles. “How do you know?”

Eumen looked as queasy as I felt. “The guards. The supplemental training they’ve been doing for us was also a test of our loyalty. After Kaiya becomes a Suriqi mage, they plan on making it look like an accident. There are a few nobles that Her Majesty and His—” She cut herself off, a deep disappointment on her face. “They’re going to meet with a few nobles to further political discussion and it’s when they’re there that he’s going to make it look like the nobles poisoned her. I don’t know when. Not too soon after, but soon enough.”

Enri shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense. If Zann kills the queen, my aunts will ascend, and they have much less patience. They’ll immediately start to rework alliances and treaties. That wouldn’t benefit him.”

If Zann really planned on assassinating Forana, it wouldn’t be wise to let people who would oppose him step into the power vacuum and even he wasn’t that stupid. No, he had to have a workaround for that. Something that would be advantageous. Something so advantageous he would risk regicide.

The realization hit me like a truck.

“Not if he releases you,” I signed. “If you’re no longer a political prisoner and reinstated as the official princess, you’ll be queen.”

“And why would I listen to anything he says?” Enri asked, anger finally overcoming her shock. “I would do exactly as my aunts would.”

“Madam,” Corek signed. “You made a vow with Zann when you became his Head Mage, didn’t you? A vow that you would protect him. We all made vows to protect and serve, but since you’re a sorcerer, wouldn’t that be binding?”

Enri looked like she’d seen a ghost. “I made a vow that I would keep him from harm to the best of my abilities and if I were to do otherwise…” She trailed off, her hands falling to her sides as she stared at a bush shaped like an elephant. “If I were to become queen, he’d have all of Fera’s resources and military at his disposal. That would be the best of my abilities. I need to get to the library.”

“Not now.” I caught her as she tried to rush past. “We can’t afford to get caught and you can spend all of tomorrow in the library.”

Clecia tapped my arm. “Are you going to tell Sayla?”

“I have to,” I signed. “She wants to protect Forana as much as the rest of us.”

“What about her guards? Wouldn’t it be rough if they knew about this?”

I thought about it for a moment. I couldn’t tell if Sayla trusted her guards, but I knew they were loyal to Fera. “It’ll be up to her if she tells them. She can keep a secret otherwise.”

The silence that fell was heavy, full of unsaid thoughts that were likely half-finished at best. Tomorrow I would need to sneak out and find Sayla. Tonight, we just needed to rest.