Waifu Catalog: Warcraft Beta Tester

5/6 morning

Tony was a simple man. He took his marching orders and he made them happen. Fuck up a tailor’s day? Bust into his house as a dragon and steal and burn everything you can in thirty seconds. Help some lady with her gardening? Tell one of the boys from back in Northshire that Otto needs a spy to become a gardener at the tower of Azora. Today was the easiest. Just a delivery; a risky one but nobody jumps straight to killing people for trying to fence goods. In and out, if you’re lucky you are back before lunch is over.

Unfortunately, Firewind had gotten all official about it. This is disrespectful, how could you do this to our guard’s armor, where did you find these, three of them went missing recently, whatever. She didn’t accept that a friend of a friend had given them to Tony as a gift to get rid of them. That usually works; you have to slash your prices and sit through a lecture but the sanctimonious types make for bad fences anyway. Anyway, long story short, when she left the room Tony decided to bug out.

Tony was pretty sure he was still wanted in Goldshire and Lakeshire, but if he remembered right Raven Hill was a real ghost town. It’ll be a bit of a hike back to the stone cairns, even with wings, but they’d understand if he said he’d run into some gnolls and had to lay low. He’d just gone ahead and made the jump.

When he did, he found himself in a small room with two damn fine looking ladies that he knew instinctively were on his side, Hope Saldean, and about 8 silk bandannas. Those were the kingpin’s top bruisers. To top it all off, they jumped him and the two girls barely responded, in a dazed and confused stupor. “Ah. So Otto did have a spy.”

His necklace was under his shirt, pressed up against his chest for ease of use. He called the boss. “Uh, Bossman? I think we have a problem.”

Tony hadn’t been expecting a fight. Hell, he’d been disarmed when he’d been let into the wizard tower. He wasn’t dumb enough to turn this into a brawl when two of the boss’s buddies were in a right state and he was the only unarmed person in the room. So when the two brawny ladies grabbed him and put knives in position to gut him, Tony got real still real fast. He kept the call going, though. “Hey. Hope Saldean, right?”

She smiled, and it was so close to genuine that he was almost fooled even with the situation being what it was. “Yes and no. I think the situation is well in hand; my name is Vanessa. So, what did you just say about a bossman? You couldn’t be calling my father, could you?”

One of the Silks, a lady with steel grey hair, pulled his amulet out. “Yep. He’s got one too. If you dose him, make sure to use enough to kill a horse. I’m pretty sure there’s an open channel, too.”

“Ah. Mister of Westfall I presume? You’ve been a very naughty boy.”

••••••••••

Shit shit shit. Did this really have to happen today? The moment the feed had started, I’d gotten up and circled around to behind the inn. I didn’t want this overheard.

“How much do you know?” Nice and neutral, and legitimately a question I wanted answered.

“Oh, enough. We’ve seen the basement for one.” Well that’s more than I ever got around to, but from the way she said it the creation process for an abomination wasn’t exactly endearing me to the Defias. “And for another, I’ve noticed that you’ve mostly put your little rape amulets on pretty girls. What did you do to the old man that used to live here?” A valid criticism. I doubt many people would consider what I actually did to Abercrombie less evil than murder, and I’m pretty sure that the two women in the room with her would relish killing me if they got their original personalities back.

“I notice that only Tony is talking. Are the others still alive?” I decided to go full supervillain on this one, adopting a bored tone. If Vanessa thought Lividia and Abby were a couple of interchangeable floozies, a hostage situation was much less likely to form.

“Oh yes. Perfectly happy at the moment; I had to overdose them substantially, but I doubt I’ve caused more brain damage than you.”

“Oh good. They’ll be fine then. The important parts anyway.”
Now, I know you may be asking a fairly reasonable question. “Erich, you already told us how this scene is going to end. She’s got you in check, just buy her.” Which would be an excellent plan if I didn’t hear that she had backup. Backup which apparently had identified my jewelry. If she suddenly had a pretty pendant out of nowhere and started to change her tune, they might turn on her. At that point I had no idea what a bunch of outlaws would do when something unexpected happened; hopefully not what the MMO suggested, which was instantly attempting to kill everyone around them, but I couldn’t be sure. Not when Abby and Lividia were drugged to the gills and Tony was probably outnumbered several to one.

“So, whaddaya want? I’ll entertain job offers if the pay is good.”

“My father would very much like to speak with you. If you meet up with me, I’ll bring you to him and he will decide what happens to you.” That was true. Communication talent informed me her plan was probably to drug and hogtie me, but she would absolutely take me to VanCleef once she thought I was safe to transport.

“Alright. How about this? You and I meet up at the night watch camp at the crossroads. You know it? We meet up under the eyes of the Watchers, and then we go to the mines nice and calm like.” I got a moment of shocked silence at the mention of the mines. Was that some kind of secret base? Probably, come to think of it. There was a whole quest chain before anyone told you to go kill VanCleef. “You could kill me, sure, but I don’t think you want my suppliers as enemies. We know all about your crazy plan with the ship.”

“Deal. Tomorrow at dawn.”

“Yeah, I can make it then. Now, I’m gonna check my notes and see what we have to talk about.” I very much hoped that Lillibeth was listening in and got the message. Or maybe Tony, who knows.

*E: I need you to keep an eye on the situation. You can take pictures and send messages through the amulet.* I waited tensely; it was a tremendous relief when I saw Lillibeth’s message pop up.

*Lil: she is making the large man drink something. A lot of it. They are planning on going south. I don’t know the terrain. Should I follow them anyway?*

*Yes. If it helps, you could ride inside of Abby or Lividia. I think they are in an altered mindset, that might make it easier.*

At the moment, Lillibeth was my best asset in the field. That, and body defense. Even if Vanessa kept dosing those three, if she didn’t vary her drugs then body defense would build up a resistance. I don’t know how quickly that resistance would build up, but from the way the description was written she’d need to continuously give them lethal levels of poison or they’d recover enough to be at least functional.

*If you can possess them, try to communicate that they need to wait passively until I make my move. Or that they need to watch the notes tab.*

I had given my goodbyes to the Lions, explaining in a very condensed way that I had work to do in Duskwood. Name dropping that light forsaken place would help build up my mystique, and the sense that they were part of some big kingdom spanning organization. I teleported to Keryn and Darcell in Goldshire, shaving off about half of my trip, and they were both asleep even though it was around four.

“Hey. Wake up.” I didn’t have time for whatever work hangover they’d given themselves. “I might need you two to back me up. Whatever you have to do, wake yourselves up and keep track of the conversation happening in notes.” Once I was sure they were awake I jogged down and out of Goldshire, shifting into a dragon and flying south. I would hopefully handle this long before tomorrow morning, but if the rendezvous happened I needed to be there.

*E Let me know if at any point Vanessa VanCleef is alone.*

*Lil I will.*

As I flew, I went over every plan I could think of, and kept track of the chat. Keryn started prying a situation report out of Lillibeth, who apparently had to possess someone to get a proper view of her surroundings.

The Defias numbered about 10, including Vanessa, initially. Through the veils of either drugs or death, Lillibeth couldn’t get a better count. That number expanded into the fifties when they arrived at their destination, an old farmstead that had been converted into a rudimentary fort, built around a burnt down old farm house. I checked the map, and confirmed that it was the same one Lividia had burnt.

The core ten seemed to be of a higher rank; the bandits at the farm showed them deference, and they in turn seemed to put Vanessa on a pedestal. It made sense; from what Darcell had told me VanCleef had presented himself as a new, more benevolent king. To true believers, Vanessa wasn’t just an officer. She was a princess.

I perched in a tree near the Yorgen Farmstead where I could make out what was happening. Between my own eyes and Lillibeth’s quick peeks, I was able to track the movements in the camp. 

*Lil The woman in charge is taking the big man to a tent for interrogation.*

*K What does he know that is sensitive?*

*E Is she going to be alone with him?*

*Lil There are guards outside the tent, but none inside with her.*

Fucking jackpot. I navigated into the app, and made my first purchase.

Vanessa VanCleef, 5 credits.