Waifu Catalog: Warcraft Beta Tester

Blind Mary



5/4 late morning

I have to say, I pick the best date locations. A nice romantic stroll through a zombie infested region with no visibility in order to convince a vain ghost to brush her own hair. No wonder I’m surrounded by pretty, unflinchingly loyal women. The fact that I mostly hang out with people that I have magically brainwashed into my service might also contribute.

That’s probably not a healthy way to live my life, honestly. What would I even do if I ran into someone else that I couldn’t control? The company came right out and said they wouldn’t necessarily tell me if I were on a PvP “server”. What happens if I get to Kalimdor and find out some dudebro orc with a magic cape has been mirroring my progress in Durotar and the Barrens?

I’d like to think I’m reasonable. So I guess it’ll be up to the other guy to decide what happens then. I hope I’m not immature enough that I’d be unable to work out a deal with another rational human being. I’d be screwed if they paired me with an ardent feminist though; my MO is not exactly PC. Anyway, enough navel gazing. I have a danger to identify and a ghost to groom.

I flitted from tree to tree, checking the path routinely. Eventually I saw a thin man in a hooded cloak seated by the path. In a place like this, I was inclined to be cautious. Especially when he looked up at me through the fog. His eyes were hollow pits in his face, and he appeared to be wearing one of the chain shirts that the night watch favored. Nope. Going back to the group.

“I think I found the danger. He didn’t immediately try to kill me, but there’s an undead guy off the side of the road. We should stick together, and stay alert.”

When we reached that same bend in the road again, the hooded undead was nowhere to be seen. I wish I could find that reassuring, but if he heard us coming and decided to clear out, that meant he was intelligent. He might only want to target lone travelers, or people who didn’t seem like they could defend themselves, which would explain why an old lady like Eva would be in danger. On the other hand, he might have left to go get backup if he was on good terms with the other undead in the area. Best to get in and out quickly.

The little farm house was in relatively good repair; better than some of the buildings in Raven Hill. The windows weren’t broken and the door was still on its hinges, I mean. Feeling a bit silly, I walked up and knocked.

”Come in,” echoed out from behind the door. It was a light soprano voice, welcoming and friendly if you ignored the ethereal reverb. I opened the door, pulling Lividia to my side as a reminder for her to stay quiet while I chatted with the restless dead.

The being I saw was a bit strange to describe. Her legs were a smoky suggestion under skirts that trailed off into nothing. Her arms seemed altogether too long and thin, hands seeming to have been stretched into claws with long fingers that could be more appropriately called talons. Her torso offset the rest of her body by seeming incredibly normal, maybe because it was entirely contained by a dirty but clearly once fine dress. Her hair floated wildly around her head in a cloud, looking a bit like it was underwater. Her face might have been pretty if it weren’t for the bloody holes where her eyes should have been.

“Who is it? Is that you again, Katarina? You know I like our chats. You’ve been gone for so long.”

“No. My name is Erich. I’m here to-“

Her face twisted in horror. “Oh. Oh no, please, don’t look at me! I’m hideous.”

“Don’t worry. I’m just here to chat and lend you something from Madame Eva.” I studiously stared at her chest. Her breasts were pretty nice, all things considered, and probably the least alarming part of her body. I didn’t think she could actually sense anything about me, so it would probably be fine as long as I didn’t let myself sound unsettled by her eyes.

“Oh? Oh her comb. Yes, I never seem to be able to find mine, and then my hair becomes an unruly mess.” She reached out with her hand, the arm seeming to stretch out across the room like taffy, questing for the comb. I put it in her hand gently.

“It’s nice, you know, to have something pretty left. Is Katarina well? I know she’s grown old.” That bit had just a hint of smugness to it. “It’s easier to talk to someone else who knows what it’s like, to lose one’s beauty.” I considered capturing Mary. She’d probably be easy to talk into wearing a gem, and she seemed to be a relatively strong ghost, lucid and able to pick things up. I decided to go for it; I didn’t have a plan for this gem; I’d have another tomorrow to give the ghost I’d been chatting with at Raven Hill, so I was in the clear.

“There’s something else I would like to offer you. I have magical necklaces that can conceal defects. Would you be interested? It won’t restore your sight for a long time, but it will help you look more like you once did.” I braced for a freak out; communication talent wasn’t sure how well this approach would go with an unstable ghost.

She rushed up, directly into my face, and grabbed me by the arms with a grip that felt like steel cords, lifting me off the ground a few inches. “Give it to me! Mine! I need it!” Her voice distorted, barely recognizable as human. Apparently she did have that scary ghost vibe nestled away somewhere; it just only came out when something she actually wanted was presented to her.

I heard a scrape of drawn metal and a deep growl coming from behind me. “Stop that!” I snapped at all three of them. “Put me down, and I will give it to you.” Mary wasn’t evil, just a bit overly intense about her appearance. I was serious, and after a few moments she released me, though she stayed firmly in my personal space.

I took the light silken ribbon and placed it over her head. The dress she was wearing caved in on itself slightly; the cloth seemed solid, but the flesh under it wasn’t. However, it did stay in position thanks to the high collar. Now came the moment of truth; I checked my app. Mary registered as wearing the collar, with an estimated 144 hours until capture.
I went into disguises, a tab I normally ignored in favor of physical transformations, and looked through the options. The way it was worded meant that disguises needed to be of a different species, which wasn’t too big a deal. She still registered as a human, so I turned her into a high elf instead; apparently being undead was considered a modifier on her species, not a species in and of itself.

At first glance that didn’t do much more than make her ears pointy and her waist a bit thinner, but I was just getting started. I hid the fact that her eyes were gone, giving her nonfunctional glowing blue orbs. Yep, with eyes she was quite a bit prettier already. I adjusted quite a few sliders, generally increasing opacity and reducing elongation. The end result, with a bit of effort and tuning, was a version of Mary that could pass for a living elven woman with freshly combed silvery hair. If you looked closely she was still translucent, and her dress was filthy, but she looked amazing compared to her starting point. I wasn’t sure how much ghost hair I’d ever need, but I’d just secured Madame Eva her supply of it, even if that creepy guy in the woods was still haunting the road.

“You look beautiful. Isn’t that right, ladies?” I walked over and cleaned her dress with the Light, confirming as I did that it was actually cloth. I then picked up the comb Eva had provided. Several long hairs were caught in it; hopefully enough to hold a necklace.

Tessa gave the ghostly woman a once over. “Yes. Quite nice. You could go to town if you’d like.”

Lividia was unimpressed, “you’d look better with rounder ears, but I suppose it’s an improvement.” I shushed her.

“We will come back in a few days to check and make sure everything is well. For now, just enjoy your new look.”

She looked in my general direction with a mournful expression on her restored face. “I don’t feel any different.”

“So far it’s all aesthetic. The physical changes will come later.” When she is fully captured, naturally. “It should even restore your eyes eventually, so you can see it too. I’m looking forward to it. Farewell until then.”

“Alright everyone. Let’s head back to the inn. We’ve got about an hour left before noon.” I went into my app and saw the new mission popup had appeared. Damn Tony. That was efficient. I checked his status and saw that he was currently a dragon. Which was a shock; when did he learn how to do that? I definitely didn’t teach him that. Well, he earned his Defias promotion I guess.

Truffle Hunting
Assist Scott Carevin in his daily patrol, gathering mushrooms and clearing out worgen in the forest west of Darkshire.
Reward 1 credit

Hmm. Definitely doable. Whoever Scott was, he’s probably able to take care of himself if he does this daily. I don’t need to do it myself either. If Tessa were properly in my retinue I’d just send her for a walk along, but she’s the only one I was pretty sure wouldn’t get bitten; worgen bites could get infected and lead to transformation. Well, Lividia could probably manage it too, but I wasn’t planning on sending that one on solo missions or letting her fight in mixed company for a while. This mission probably wasn’t getting done. Maybe I should give Tony another mission tomorrow. He did pretty well. I hefted Tessa with some difficulty and sent her back to Drusilla, then Lividia and I followed.

••••••••••

Once I was back, I cleaned everyone’s clothes of their travel dirt. Drusilla let me know everything was quiet. I checked the time, and decided I could at least try to put something in motion.

“Darcell. Are you somewhere you can talk?”

“Yes? We were about to have lunch. Do you need Keryn too?”

We established that things were safe and secure, and I teleported into their camp with a small cup. “Alright. So I am going to need you two to get some people back to civilization without any heat on me. Here’s the plan.”

••••••••••

We found a small clearing, perfect for our purposes, where I pulled out one of the heavily injured militia in his underclothes. I quickly dosed him with about two hours worth of Lethe Water while he was down, cast renew, and used shadow word fade to beat a hasty retreat, then repeated the process at another agreed upon location. The rogues were hiding nearby, and would “find” him and see that he got back to Goldshire okay. They’d be found one or two at a time. Sometimes by the rogues, sometimes planted near the logging camp, maybe one on the road near Darkshire where the watchers would find him. Whenever I had a moment.


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